To be human

She looked at her hands, unable to understand why her heart was beating so fast and when she couldn't seem to make it stop. Those hands, once as black as the darkest night were sprayed with millions of small stars, tearing apart the darkness and setting up light where once there was nothing. Feelings were overwhelming her and though she wasn't able to name all of them just yet, they were real.

« Is it how it feels to be human? » -She asked to herself-

What was being human? Was it being able to feel? Compassion, love, anger, hatred? Was it mating and procreating? Was it leaving something behind in order to become immortal? She couldn't say. To her it was a very alien notion since she spent most of her time trying to escape from the world she didn't understand. Its code was unreadable for such a strong individuality. Maybe being human was simply wanting to fit in? She never felt like it. She didn't need to find a pack and stick with it. But was it being honest?

Her hands were constantly reminding her of her vulnerability. Anyone could see her feelings, anyone could read her crystal clear. Wasn't it scary? To have someone able to strip you naked and see what you so easily concealed from them? Wasn't it a relief too? You wouldn't need to explain yourself for it would be written on you, easy to spot on and understand. Was it human to be so intimate with one's pain and fears? With one's love and hopes? Maybe.

« I kind of like it. It's warm. Sometimes it's painful but it only makes me appreciate the warmth even better. »

Maybe that was it. Those stars on her hands which sometimes made her feel good and others made her wince and weep, those stars were the silent messenger of life. They were telling her to live her life to the fullest, embrace the pain and seek for the warmth. Ultimately, she would find some balance between pain and joy, love and hatred, and all those emotions she still didn't know she could feel. It wasn't a curse. It was a blessing.

To be human... To feel alive.