COPG: Breath

Bäahal x Jaime: Breath

A/N : Mood piece, taking place right after their first « night » together.

Xxx

As the princess closed the door of her cabin behind her, she could finally lean against the heavy wooden door of her cabin and look at the ceiling. Moments before, she was in Jaime's cabin, waking up from the sweetest slumber she'd ever had. Moments before, she was in his arms, her lips pressed to his cheek, to his lips, while his arms were wrapped around her frame. For so many months, probably more than a year now, the princess had been longing for the knight's touch. She'd been dreaming for a moment like this and none of her expectations could match reality. The reality was far better than any wet dreams she could have had. A myriad of emotions went through her body and the first reaction she had was to chuckle and smile to herself.

It felt good, to be in his arms, to smell his scent, to feel his stubble cheeks rub against her soft skin. It felt good to be able to press her forehead to his and smile through the darkness as her heart was content and happy. Her heart raced that night, his too... almost matching her speed. Her heart raced for he was close and it felt natural, it felt right. She felt like she belonged there, with him. She remembered holding onto his shirt as she fell asleep, and then knew their bodies parted ways during their sleep but it didn't matter, for the bed, was warm with his presence and he didn't leave the bed when the sun shone brightly.

After the laughter came tears. She realized that she had been deprived for so long from a loving touch that her body was feeling it too. Never before a man had ever looked at her as an equal, as a person. Never before had a man tried to stay with her and talk with her. All of those she used to know only knew how to force themselves on her and dismiss her once their deed was done as if she was nothing but a toy. Jaime was not like this. Jaime was not seeing her as a tool to use, but a person to love and that made her heartache, and rejoice at the same time. She dropped on the floor and wrapped her arms around her legs so she could keep herself together and cry. For so long, she thought it was impossible for another soul to want to be with her. She'd thought, they would never even consider her for how soiled she was. She thought Jaime could see the abuse on her skin, the brand on her shoulder blades, the fact she wasn't pure or proper...yet he didn't seem to even care about her past, or judge her for that matter. All he knew and all he wanted was the woman before her... nothing more, nothing less.. just Bäahal.

As she wiped her eyes clean with the back of her hand, the ebony Targaryen chuckled again, this time with hearty laugh filled with hope. If even the broken princess could find love in the midst of the fire, then everything was possible. She didn't think of what she lost, at least, not as much as before, when she was with him. She didn't think of what she could be, not as much as before when she was with him. She only thought of the moment they had. Of the peace, she felt in her heart when he held her close, of the love she felt for him when she could feel his skin. Jaime gave her something she never thought she could have, a purpose, a future, a solid foundation where she could build a life. Jaime gave her Hope... even before she knew she was in love with him and now that reality was settling in, she realized that she needed that Hope. She knew that they had crossed a line they shouldn't have crossed. Daenerys could decide to never let them be together and when that happens, what could they do about it, if not feel distraught? Bäahal knew they took a major risk, of opening the door to more suffering if they weren't allowed to be together.. but the princess didn't care, for she thought she had earned a few resting moments and peace... and love. After all, she'd just survived a siege, she could have died a few months ago. Why would she deny herself a piece of happiness when death was at the corner? Why would she deny herself a piece of happiness when she could be with the man she loved? She promised Kyra she would do anything in her power not to cause troubles to her family and keep them safe and she was ready to leave Jaime behind if that meant saving his life... but before they came to such extreme, couldn't she just be happy for once? Hadn't she deserved a little bit of respite? Of joy? Of Love? Hadn't they?

-TBC-

GoT: Bäahal x Jaime: Now what?

Whether he wanted it or not, the golden Lion always made the princess cry. He couldn't help it, he always provoked it and that morning was no exception. For weeks, the princess was avoiding talking about the obvious, but how long could she go without him noticing her longing looks? How long could she go without him hearing her clumsy flirtatious ways? How long before he decided that he had enough of her games and needed to talk seriously? Bäahal didn't know and she refused to know until she couldn't do otherwise.

4 weeks later, she was feeling much better. Her body, still marked by the ordeal she went through, was recovering nicely. Jaime did what he could he took care of her as much as possible, while tending to his duties and leaving her to herself. Bäahal took advantage of those moments to spend time with the lady of Casterly Rock, and with herself, effectively regaining enough confidence, trust, and control over herself to be independent once again. She was doing better. Her hair was once again soft like silk, her eyes vibrant and curious again and her mind opens again. she was in a good place, a better place for her to have this conversation with Jaime.

As she went on and talked about the siege -without actually mentioning what happened-, it became clear that the people behind the attempted murder were potentially the house Redwyne. and it would make sense, wouldn't it? After all, Jaime had killed Lady Olenna, Cersei killed Margaery, and the new queen threatened their ways of life. Their fear and disgust of the queen led them to conspire against her and use the princess as a means to achieve their goals. Killing her, became the obvious choice here.

It would have been alright if the conversation stopped here, but during Jaime's attempt at comforting her and making her stop loathing her troubled origins, she was so moved by him that she kissed him again.

The kiss prompted the conversation. The conversation led to a more honest, more open, re-do of Highgarden. Words were said, feelings were thrown at the face of each other. How could they take learning that Bäahal had tried to move on from Jaime Lannister? She had tried to let new, younger and valid princes and lord court her. She had tried to seek a suitor so she wouldn't have to pay attention to the ache in her heart. It failed miserably and she wanted nothing more but to be with Jaime. How could they react, when they heard the knight had tried to push her away from him so she could be happy?

Jaime had always had such a low opinion about himself, seeing himself as poison, as a deterrent to anything good that could have happened to him. He thought he was stupid, he thought he couldn't deserve to be with her, and earn the kindness she had for him. He thought he couldn't possibly be loved by her and yet, here she was, still thinking the world of him while her eyes were still filled with unshed tears.

How could they react, when they realized that Jaime loved her too. That she haunted his dreams and never in the whole world did he think she wasn't enough for him.The answer? it stunted them. Jaime admitted his feelings without looking at her, away from her. he admitted his feelings for her with the fear of the life that was promised to her. How could they be?

The whole realm hated him and merely accepted her. the whole realm would be against this union. The whole realm would try to kill them even more but would Bäahal give up on Jaime? No. Never.