GoT: "Waiting for the queen's blessings"

 The princess knew she wouldn't be able to openly claim her love for Jaime. She knew it would have to wait for her sister's blessing..and there would be places she wouldn't be able to show her affection for the knight. In order to show it, Bäahal decided she would wear his colors. Taking advantage of the dress her friend, Lady Kyra Lannister, gifted her, she would wear it to discreetly pay homage to his family (the good ones), and to him. It would be a way for him to see her wear the Lannister colors as if she were his betrothed. It was a small gesture, Bäahal hoped Jaime would notice, and one she would keep on doing even if she didn't receive her sister's blessings.

Chessgame interlude: recap August 2020

 Ayasha could feel the hand around her throat squeeze tighter and tighter as her sister was growing stronger. The sin's magic still cloaked her from the all-seeing goddess, which only added to her paranoia and anxiety. how could she defeat her sister when she didn't know where she was?

Desperate measures were taken, she was desperate enough to bring the former human vessel of her sister back into her little scheme, hoping that perhaps, the affection Pride had for Asma would be enough to destroy his newly formed bond with the goddess. She knew it was a risky move, but hoped it would be enough to save herself some time, give her enough energy to prepare for the inevitable last stand.

She hoped to see her mother, Gaea, and convince her that Elpis was out of control and needed to be put away once and for all, but Gaea despised her. Gaea hated her guts for planning and conducting the assassination of her only love: Khaos, the All-father. Yet, Ayasha counted on her mother to be a hypocrite and a coward, and the desire to survive would be far greater than the false idea of love she had for mankind.

Finally, Ishtar was getting ready. he'd already rung the bells of war, hoping that eventually, he would be ready enough to prepare for battle against his ultimate enemy.

There was a lot to prepare.. and no certainty, which didn't go well for the goddess who supposedly knew it all.

Letters to Kyra :

Dearest friend,

I have found a moment to write this letter to you. I have tried to find my words, but they failed me, I guess I wasn't ready to speak with you until now. Oh, my dear friend. I have arrived at King's Landing. I followed your advice and went to speak with your brother about our pending issue. It didn't go as smoothly as I wished for he'd always warned me about the dangers of following my heart in that peculiar matter. I remember how hard he'd frown upon me when he first suspected something. I remember his disapproval from the very start and how hard he tried to fight me on the matter. I was in denial, so I rejected his allegations, stated that he was probably reading too much into it. But he was right, he saw things clearly when I was still in a fog. He feared that my sister would become angry if she ever knew the truth, but after a glass of wine, realized that it was better to inform her, ask for her permission and try and convince her should she be angry. So... we devised a plan, a way for me to break her the news.

I have talked to her, and as expected, she didn't take it very well at the very beginning. She didn't even let me explain, all I saw when I looked into her eyes was disappointment and anger. She has a lot of resentment and a devouring need for revenge, so I knew the very first time would not go smoothly. She didn't say anything, except for a « How could you ? » before she left the room. I understand her, I understand why she'd feel betrayed by me. I spoke to her and told her that your family wasn't involved in any way, that it was just me and my feelings and she should only direct her anger at me for the time being. I guess I stalled for a couple days, she didn't seem to want to come after you. At least, I managed this. Lord Tyrion told me that I should give her a few days before bringing the topic back again. I will do as he advised, I will give Daenerys some time to get herself together and get herself ready to listen to me. I still intend to plead my case, show her how important it is for me, and how grateful I would be to have her blessings on the matter. My heart broke, yet is filled with renewed fire. I feel as if I was gambling my life and my future as I write to you and I will do everything in my power to achieve my goal. I will do everything to have her listen to me and see how much there is at stakes, for me. After all, she's holding my future in her hands, my happiness, my reason to be...

I made you a promise, and I will keep it. Nothing would happen to your family, nothing would ever happen to him. I will protect him, even from me... just as I expect you will protect him from me, should it come to it. I'm in troubled waters and I'm waiting on a way out but until then, I have been thinking of you. Since we left your shores, how have you been dealing with our absence? I know your brother was instrumental in getting the due respect your lords should give you. I know that without him, you'd have to struggle a little harder. Is it exhausting? Are you holding up? I have faith in your ability to rule. I just hope you are safe.

Please, rest assured of my eternal friendship,

Bäahal Targaryen.

Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life of Elpis: Thunder and Lightning

Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life of Elpis: Thunder and Lightning

A/N : Welp, I have been thinking of them lately :p just a little in between with these two gods having fun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gF6A04vZiI

Xxxxxxx

Vancouver, after a masquerade party, somewhere around 11 pm

Pride despised humans, he wasn't even pretending anymore. They annoyed him, their very existence, their sliminess, their stench.. everything about them annoyed the Sin who would rather have spent the few human months with Elpis, elsewhere. He only endured walking the mortal realm because Elpis was extremely strong here and it was her favorite place. As a magnanimous king, he even offered her Earth once they would deal with her siblings. He wasn't so blind to notice that she seemed to be far more powerful than in the memory he had of her. The sin decided to entertain his queen by taking her to a masquerade party in Vancouver. He knew she enjoyed the music, but he also knew she enjoyed being seen and drawing attention to her. The Sin wouldn't lie, Pride also loved the attention he got when in the presence of mortals. He knew he was perfect and devastatingly attractive to them and he enjoyed seeing humans lose their minds whenever he entered a room.

He soberly wore a black suit with black leather shoes. His mask was a silver one that complimented well his blonde hair and blue eyes. At his arm, Elpis was transcending. She was wearing a white dress with gold trims, her waist was highlighted by a golden belt. Her pink hair was tied on a high ponytail and she was wearing a black laced mask. At her feet, she was wearing golden heels. They enjoyed the time spent at that party, from the curious gazes they received to the waltz they danced, Pride liked to keep his Light by his side. It felt as if there was nothing else in the world after them. There was no primeval god, no direct threat to their little happiness. They danced without a care for the world. Engrossed by the waltz, the goddess of The light didn't notice her powers were leaking, influencing the room as she danced. People were soon enthused, finding more comfort and boldness as they were dancing by their side.

It became a frenzy, something unstoppable and soon enough the whole room was dancing near the deities. Elpis' smile was the brightest Pride ever saw from her. She was relaxed, completely into the moment they were sharing, laughing as she fed off of the worship of the humans near them. At some point, Pride remembered they joked with one another. Given the number of souls gathered at the party and the desire to have a little fun game, Pride teased Elpis about her ability to sway humans and control them. He wanted to challenge her for a little while, see which one of them could influence mortals better. She told him there was a risk of creating chaos, but the Sin didn't mind. When did he ever? He promised to give her a treat should she win and she promised to give him something should he win, basically ensuring that both of them would have a good time no matter who won this little contest. So they played. They waltzed around the huge ballroom, allowing their divine energy to fill the room and reach out to each and every human in the place. Purple and gold energy mixed together, They slowly intoxicated the mortals dancing around them, and should Elpis have paid attention, she would have seen the behavior become more erratic, more violent. People were overwhelmed with emotions, from Greed and Lust that had some of them steal jewelry, make sexual advances to others. Envy and Jealousy triggered Wrath in humans and the dances became more and more violent.

It didn't phase the goddess, for she was used to violence and death. Her brother, Ishtar, was the primeval god of war after all and took her to the battlefields of the mortal realm where she could use her influence on others and encourage soldiers to sacrifice their lives and empower her brother more. She didn't care about the screams, the yells, the groans, and sexual grunts. She didn't care about humans kicking each other in the groin, tearing each other apart, nor did she care about the pieces of flesh, human body fluids and bones fly all over the room. The ballroom became messy with people fucking each other right on the floor, with other raping people at the same place and those killing each other on the spot. The intensity of the violence only fueled both Elpis and Pride and she felt her skin slowly glow brighter and brighter and turning into pure light while he was slowly turning into pure darkness, a purple smoke even as his eyes were glowing brightly and a purple aura had engulfed him. Elpis could see the sparkles where their hands met and could see the sparkles and the fire produced by each of their steps as their energies played off of the other and excited the other. It was powerful, exhilarating to the point of driving her drunk with power.

Their outfits quickly got covered with human blood and filth such as bones and tears. The goddess of Light and Hope didn't care much about her appearance but instead pressed a searing kiss on their lips. Both could feel the sudden new and powerful energy flowing through their veins, the product of their own little game, and combined power. Elpis pressed him against her, laughing in between their kiss as she let her hands run over his chest and back. She didn't mind the blood, it excited her, to be honest. She was so turned on that she would have let him claim her right there, in the middle of the carnage taking place, but instead refrained from going too far. Instead, the goddess kept waltzing with her beloved, enjoying his tight grip on her flesh, enjoying his tantalizing strokes over her sensitive skin and the bites he left on her neck. It took the hand of a mortal, who clutched at her ankle to take her off of her bubble. She stopped moving and glanced at the hand before she realized her own skin had changed as well as her hair. She was pure gold, pure light now. It intrigued her and had Elpis look at the man on the floor, begging for help. She lifted a brow and knelt near him. Her hand ran through his black hair and she soothed him.

« I cannot help you, mortal. It is not my rôle to interfere in your lives. » She said with a grin, consciously choosing not to help him. He was almost dead anyway, what could she do? Revive him? Heal him? Why would she do something like this? Pride lifted a brow, surprised that his beloved didn't help the poor unfortunate soul, but equally satisfied she didn't do it.

« Mortal??? mor.. mortal? What are you talking about? You're just like me... call the police. » He growled and gargled in his blood. Elpis kept stroking his head, way too enthused by her new appearance and the powerful energy that flew through her body.

« I can offer you mercy.. » She stated before she broke his neck for a quick and painless death. « Can you see what's happening here, Superbia? » She asked as she stood up. Pride helped her on her feet and plucked off of her face, some bones and blood so she could see him better.

« We made quite a mess here. » He admitted, wrinkling his nose at the wretched scent that overwhelmed his nostrils. « They ended up killing each other, out of jealousy, envy, wrath, and lust. » He said in a dark chuckle. « I managed to power-up. » He mentioned while waving his hand to extinguish the fire that was ravaging the place. « You manage to glow up. You look like pure light. »

« Indeed. I feel more powerful as well... more connected. I never have been able to feel all those mortal souls before, but I can feel them all... I can faintly hear them too... it never happened before. » She said as she looked at her hands before closing her eyes and walking away from the ballroom. « This is new, Superbia... this could mean.. This could actually be a glimpse of my actual power. » She said as she turned to look at him. This could be what I have been looking for, a way to surpass my siblings, a way to be a good ally... a way to truly support you in your ambition beloved. I have power...I am power. » She said, while she yanked her head back and outstretched her arms from each side of her body. « And I am yours. »

« Mine. » He repeated, coming closer to her and holding her in his arms once again. The sin grabbed her neck and pressed his lips to hers, forcing a hard kiss on her lips, almost bruising the goddess. « And mine alone. » He insisted before he snapped his fingers and took them back to their hotel room. The night was young and interesting and he wanted to make it last longer.

-TBC-

Tribute to RaSen

 

RaSen and I have been friends for several years now, actually since 2011. I am absolutely fond of them because as a person they've been so open-minded, so kind, so funny and fun to be with and taught me a lot. They motivated me early on in keeping sketching and improving (and I did improve a lot thanks to their constant support and motivation) so naturally, I ended up wanting to have work from her. Back in 2011, I was extremely broke (not fully out of the woods, but not suffocating either these days), so I have to thank my friends L. and D. for their kindness and willingness to get some artwork for me as well as they did get some for their characters.

I loved RaSen's style because it was pretty realistic and I was looking for a way to have a realistic version of my character Asma Jensen done by them. Talk about perfect. Back in the days, Asma Jensen was still a fanfiction character -I didn't dare dream of her own universe just yet, but she was already talking to me.- I tried her in several universes, through different names, but the one that stuck to her was the Marvel universe. [Those who are curious, can see a few artworks involving licensed characters winks] I am not going to shy away from those origins, yes, she was a marvel OC character. I felt the most comfortable with the X-men franchise, that spoke to me on different levels, I could be related to their struggle, I could relate to some of their traumas... I grew up with the x-men, so writing in that universe never was difficult for me. Asma quickly picked up and is mostly known as a Marvel OC online.. although word finally got out that she had her own universe and people are starting to see her less of an OC and more as my creator own character.:) phew!

Over the years, I was able to come together with her with a few requests. I wanted portraits of Asma and I wanted Wolverine and Asma. (The one with Cap was a gift to me, by my twin who wanted to see them together... yes, I know, how dare I make them an item?) Those are really special to me because for the first time, I was able to actively contribute and help her as she helped me. I could support her work and she gave me ten times what I gave her with her gorgeous illustration. She knows how to draw my character. She knows how to channel her emotions, either when she's stoic, or when she's smiling. Have you seen Asma and that smile? She has the best smile I've ever seen, bright, calm, happy. I know that I was actively trying to build myself back up after a traumatic event and seeing so much hope and positivity on my character, truly helped me. I loved the hair color, the skin color, Asma was gorgeous.

I am extremely fond of the two illustrations she did of Wolverine and Asma and Cap and Asma. Two different vibes, two different costumes, two different relationships. Wolverine and Asma always had that mentor/father/ brother/protegee/daughter/sister type of relationship. They worked well together, understood the other, always were blunt towards one another. Asma could pack punches and Wolverine could withstand them. He helped her with her anger issues, he guided her when she was lost, he comforted her when she needed it the most and he was always able to see through her silence and white lies. I enjoyed writing the two of them to discuss philosophy and the place people like them had in such a hostile world. She sometimes reasoned him, he sometimes brought her back to reason. They truly checked and balanced with each other. But they had some chemistry when they fought together and RaSen beautifully illustrated it. She went above and beyond for her friend and that moved me beyond tears. I still remember how I felt when she sent me the final file.

Asma and Captain America, in that small circle of friends who could read my fictions, they were quite popular. An item, as I said. My version of Cap was that of a man displaced in time, who struggled sometimes with how the world turned into, never waived from his convictions, still was traumatized by what he saw during War and progressively opened up to the new world and a potential new life too. He was a man married to the job -with a failure with Peggy Carter-, who allowed himself to try something else, to give himself a chance when Asma came into his life. They went from « short-term teammates » during a short stint as an Avenger, to « full-blown » the power couple, not without issues. I really loved to have their worlds clash a bit, have him fully grasp the ordeals mutants went through, the impossible complete acceptance from mankind, the traumas from war, slaughters, massacres and dehumanization. I liked to have them talk, openly talk about their emotions and beliefs, argue, reconcile, rejoice, experiment, and yes, have various types of intimacy. I really loved writing their story, so much so I spent 5 years on it. I love to see them together, to see them smile to each other, to have them hug. It's my favorite illustration to date with them.

Yes, I have moved from my early days as a fanfiction writer, but I really loved the memories, the joys, the excitement, the fear I felt when I was writing and enjoying my character in such a universe. I remember and love the feedback I got after each chapter, after each horrible what-if scenarios I wrote, after each loving moment..it was cathartic and to this day, helped me shape her personality and the character into her definitive version. Through the fiction, she became her own character and thanks to the likes of RaSen, I was able to put a face to my character and her world.

I wanted to give her tribute, because I've been holding back since 2015 but no more. I know you will read this, Nik, so whenever you're around, please know that I love you and I can't wait to see what you can come up with when you get back to drawing again. I love you so much. Thank you for all the emotions you gave me, for the joy, for your friendship, for our laughs, and for your care. <3 I love you, Always.

-May-

HAPPY 12TH ANNIVERSARY ASMA

Anniversary : 12 years.

I know that for some people, I feel like a big talker, like someone who's just bragging here and there about a story and a character I've been writing for a decade now. I understand why they would think of me like this. I don't mind. I know my story, I know how difficult it is to write when you're crippled with severe anxiety, depression, and when you're navigating through traumas. It's not an easy journey, this book is literally my sweat, tears, self-doubt, and self-loathing working against me. The goal for me is to finish it. I want to finish it, at least put it out there and tell her story.

In the video, I'm talking about what Asma meant to me for it had been a question asked by the people who follow my work for years. Semi-pro or professional friends I know, people who also are amateurs like me, people who simply like art. It was a couple years ago and I had just started to convince myself that I had enough material to write my story. I was terrified, even then (you can clearly see in the video) because I wasn't sure my story could be readable. The themes I'm trying to talk about, the way it could be conveyed through dialogues or narration. I wasn't sure people would be willing to read me and it stopped me more times than I want to admit. I've been asked to go public, to add social media accounts, but my social anxiety prevents me from even considering it for now. A friend set up an internet page on her own website to showcase the work she did for my character and that's about it... again, for now. I take it slow.

But I'm taking certain steps. I'm moving forward. Someone asked me why in 12 years I wasn't able to put my book out. I guess it takes time. With the struggles I am facing right now, I think achieving « 100 pages » is miraculous. It's encouraging. I love Asma, I love what she brought to me. I love the Hope she kept giving me and those around me. She literally did save my life, in ways I would gladly talk about sometimes later when I feel ready. She's a project that keeps me going, and to this day, I am still very happy to have positive feedbacks on her, on what she did to other people too.

12 years is a lot of time spent on a character and a world. I have art I've showcased over the years on my FB page and Deviantart page. Some from me, some from others. I have her book I'm writing and reached page 100, I even started a very small poem collection I'm selling on the side, for those who are interested. It wasn't a BOOM, but it was something. (Thank you to those who bought those booklets). I am set to finish the book and work on communicating about it more in the next two years. I'm doing something. Maybe for some of you, it'll be in vain, or not enough because I'm still secretive about it -I really want to wait until I'm sure I'm done drafting it before I talk about it- but truly, I'm in no rush, my primary goal is just to finish my baby, make sure she's ready to go to the world. She's my legacy, after all, the one thing I want to leave behind and leave well. So no matter how long it takes, it'll be finished because I'm fully committed now and I am full of Hope too. That's the power of Asma Jensen, the beacon of hope.

So, darling, Happy 12^th anniversary, thank you so much for having been such a wonderful supportive companion over the years and allowing me to work on you. Let me please, keep going so I can present you to this world. Proud to have achieved something. Happy anniversary, beloved.

-May-

Doya: By the sea

Doya: By the sea

A/N: Just a lovely moment between Oya and Dean, by the sea and with beers. Still during the Thomas” case.

XXXX

“I like the sound of the ocean...I don't like the beach, but I like the sound of the ocean. Is it weird?” -Oya asked as she sat on a bench with a beer in her hand-

“Not at all.” -Dean replied as he stood in front of her, his beer in his hand.- “I don't really like the ocean, as a matter of fact, I hate the beach too, but I get that you like the sound of the waves crashing on the shores.” He raised his beer and drank to that.-

“Yeah... I guess the human mind is really weird..” -She chuckled and chugged some beer.- “Dean, have you ever wanted another life? Something different from what you have now?” She asked, with both arms laid on her legs.

“I have...I even experienced it but it wasn't for me. Have you?” -She shrugged. She knew he was talking about his time with Lisa and her son. Yes, he had tried the apple pie kind of life and it didn't work for him. He was meant to be a hunter after all.-

“I haven't...I have?” She scratched the back of her head. “In my country, we were who we were, it wasn't a big deal. I see it now, that we were more tools than actually accepted by our people, but at least we could have families, strong communities... we were still somehow valued and seen...I was engaged.” She furrowed her brows. “And for a while, I thought I had it all. I thought I had it good, you know? Engaged, maybe even a mother very soon, happy... but it was all an illusion. As soon as I wasn't useful to Fabrice, he just dumped me... my community crumbled, my family was slaughtered. I couldn't have the apple pie life I wanted.. it wasn't meant for me.”

She sighed and leaned her head back so she could chug some beer down. Her eyes quickly turned empty as she was wondering if it was what she wanted. Kids had always been something she wished she had someday, up until she drank that potion that made her barren. She knew she wouldn't be able to have any and gave up on this dream as soon as her mind was filled with revenge and guilt. Over time, the desire to procreate just vanished as she lived in the USA. A hunter's life here was crap, there was no sustainable future for a potential child there, and back in the days, there was even no one to share this dream with. So she gave up on kids.

She accommodated to her new situation, she even enjoyed her life as it was. Seeing Sarah and her family, listening to Joshua, and his desire to have his own family shook the hunter who questioned herself. Was she really okay with the life she was leading with Dean? He was a dad already, twice. He was not a “good” dad too...in his own words, he screwed up with his kids like he screwed up with plenty of people in his life. It wasn't meant for him. Would he try to do differently if given the choice? Oya believed he would. Would he try differently, if she became pregnant? She knew he would. But the question wasn't even in the air because she was unable to have children. A spell was a spell... consequences were permanent and she made her peace with it. Oya didn't want kids..anymore. She wasn't the same person she was a decade ago.

Dean gave her the life she wanted to live. A life with a solid partner, someone who would always be there with her. Someone who cared for her, someone who loved her. He was her family, alongside Sam and Castiel and she didn't need more to feel complete. Dean was there, always. He was there when she had nightmares, he was there when she needed comfort and he let her in when he needed some. He let her love him. He let her be in his life. Dean hunted with her, and by Chuck, Oya loved hunting. Hunting was akin to a sport for her. It was all about the style, the difficulty, the fighting techniques she was perfecting. It was about the least casualties possible and saving the most people as well. She didn't mind her scars -except for the one she got from the Asanbosam, she still had trouble with-, for they were a testimony of her hard dedication to her work. Being able to hunt with the best hunter that ever excited was a privilege and a chance for the woman, so why would she complain?

“..........You said you were happy with me.”

“And I mean it. I am. The apple pie kind of life, for me, is the life I am leading with you Dean. I thought, yeah, for a long time I thought that eventually, I would want to have kids or that maybe I wanted the white picket fences kind of life Sarah has... but I was wrong. I don't need any of this as long as I'm hunting with you. As long as I'm with you. I don't need more. I have a family who loves me, people who would go to hell and back if that was for me. I am with people I can sacrifice my life for...shit...” She looked at him and smiled a wet smile. “...I wouldn't want it any other way, okay?” She shrugged and drank her beer. “I have my dream life...this is my life, the apple pie life..” She added before he grinned at her and walked closer. He sat on the bench near Oya and patted his thigh so she could sit on his lap. She rolled her eyes but ended up sitting on his lap. Face turned towards the beautiful sea before their very eyes.

“ I guess that means you don't want another life than the one you have right now.” She gently poked his shoulder and nodded. “Ouch, how violent you are!”

“I didn't hurt you Dickhead! Quit crying.” She poked his shoulder again before she wrapped her arm around his neck and watched as he took a sip of his beer.

“Alright, Bitch, I won't protest.” -He chuckled and set his emerald eyes onto her hazel ones. Oya was beautiful right now, relaxed, happy and he could tell by her body language that she wasn't pretending. She felt good by his side, she felt right on his lap. He sighed and leaned his head against her chest, burying his face in her bosom while she let her hand run over his dirty blonde hair. “Why did you ask that question?”

“I wanted to know if you were happy with me. I felt that maybe I wasn't offering you what you needed.” She started before she planted a kiss on top of his head. “ I just wanted to make sure you knew you had a home in me too... You have somewhere to return to, someone to come home to...I want to be sure that you know that Dean...You're not alone anymore, you never will from now..” She said as she planted another kiss to his forehead while he wrapped his arm tighter around her waist.

“I'm aware of that. I know...You always make sure I feel home with you;”

He added, clearing his throat as he didn't know how to channel his emotions. As a matter of fact, the Winchester realized that Oya simply needed to be reassured. He wasn't excellent at calming nerves, but he would still give it a try. She was giving him more than he wanted, more than he could ever ask. She was giving him the freedom to be himself, and she was giving him the ability to not have to choose between love and work. With Oya things were easy, the easiest they've ever been. With Oya, things just went smoothly and he didn't need to compromise himself, or the life he was leading. He didn't need to pretend. He didn't need to hide. With Oya..; he simply was. She was giving him the comfort of knowing he was loved and no matter what happened, she wasn't leaving. She chose him, and very often let him know that she did, but he realized he wasn't saying it enough. Dean was a man of actions, not a man of words, but from time to time, he acknowledged, that saying a little something was actually more helpful than not. He gently let his hand move from her waist to her back and then lost a few fingers into her thick black curly mane. He massaged her scalp and leaned his head better against her chest.

“Oya, Nzi Mulenge.. please, forgive me if I fucked up your name... O... You're giving me more than I could ever ask for. You've been in our lives, five years now? It's the longest someone ever stayed with me... the longest, and the best..” He cleared his throat and looked up to her face. “I don't want more because I don't need more. I have the best already with me.” He gave her an earnest smile and leaned his chin against her chest. “I have the best there is and ever will...I can't express how much..how happ—happy I am with you. But it's there and I beg of you, O, to look at all the things I do that I can't say. I'm here... I'm here with you.” He managed to say before he leaned his head back against her chest. “Always... and forever.” He ended his sentence and watched as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gently sobbed against him.

“Forever and always...” Was all she could whisper before her sobs took over and she just cuddled with him. She felt relieved, he could tell by the sigh she let out, but she also was happy by the confirmation that he had what he needed and she was making him happy. It was all the hunter needed to feel okay. She needed to know so he said something, by the sea.

-TBC-

Bäahal x Jaime: Breath

Bäahal x Jaime: Breath

A/N : Mood piece, taking place right after their first « night » together.

Xxx

As the princess closed the door of her cabin behind her, she could finally lean against the heavy wooden door of her cabin and look at the ceiling. Moments before, she was in Jaime's cabin, waking up from the sweetest slumber she'd ever had. Moments before, she was in his arms, her lips pressed to his cheek, to his lips, while his arms were wrapped around her frame. For so many months, probably more than a year now, the princess had been longing for the knight's touch. She'd been dreaming for a moment like this and none of her expectations could match reality. The reality was far better than any wet dreams she could have had. A myriad of emotions went through her body and the first reaction she had was to chuckle and smile to herself.

It felt good, to be in his arms, to smell his scent, to feel his stubble cheeks rub against her soft skin. It felt good to be able to press her forehead to his and smile through the darkness as her heart was content and happy. Her heart raced that night, his too... almost matching her speed. Her heart raced for he was close and it felt natural, it felt right. She felt like she belonged there, with him. She remembered holding onto his shirt as she fell asleep, and then knew their bodies parted ways during their sleep but it didn't matter, for the bed, was warm with his presence and he didn't leave the bed when the sun shone brightly.

After the laughter came tears. She realized that she had been deprived for so long from a loving touch that her body was feeling it too. Never before a man had ever looked at her as an equal, as a person. Never before had a man tried to stay with her and talk with her. All of those she used to know only knew how to force themselves on her and dismiss her once their deed was done as if she was nothing but a toy. Jaime was not like this. Jaime was not seeing her as a tool to use, but a person to love and that made her heartache, and rejoice at the same time. She dropped on the floor and wrapped her arms around her legs so she could keep herself together and cry. For so long, she thought it was impossible for another soul to want to be with her. She'd thought, they would never even consider her for how soiled she was. She thought Jaime could see the abuse on her skin, the brand on her shoulder blades, the fact she wasn't pure or proper...yet he didn't seem to even care about her past, or judge her for that matter. All he knew and all he wanted was the woman before her... nothing more, nothing less.. just Bäahal.

As she wiped her eyes clean with the back of her hand, the ebony Targaryen chuckled again, this time with hearty laugh filled with hope. If even the broken princess could find love in the midst of the fire, then everything was possible. She didn't think of what she lost, at least, not as much as before, when she was with him. She didn't think of what she could be, not as much as before when she was with him. She only thought of the moment they had. Of the peace, she felt in her heart when he held her close, of the love she felt for him when she could feel his skin. Jaime gave her something she never thought she could have, a purpose, a future, a solid foundation where she could build a life. Jaime gave her Hope... even before she knew she was in love with him and now that reality was settling in, she realized that she needed that Hope. She knew that they had crossed a line they shouldn't have crossed. Daenerys could decide to never let them be together and when that happens, what could they do about it, if not feel distraught? Bäahal knew they took a major risk, of opening the door to more suffering if they weren't allowed to be together.. but the princess didn't care, for she thought she had earned a few resting moments and peace... and love. After all, she'd just survived a siege, she could have died a few months ago. Why would she deny herself a piece of happiness when death was at the corner? Why would she deny herself a piece of happiness when she could be with the man she loved? She promised Kyra she would do anything in her power not to cause troubles to her family and keep them safe and she was ready to leave Jaime behind if that meant saving his life... but before they came to such extreme, couldn't she just be happy for once? Hadn't she deserved a little bit of respite? Of joy? Of Love? Hadn't they?

-TBC-

MOET : BURN OUT

He watched as she came home exhausted, holding back tears and fingers curled into fists.

He watched as she relaxed her body and peeled off the layers of exhaustion and pain.

She wouldn't say a word for they lied; she wouldn't cry a tear cause they dried.

But she knew he knew and he knew she was at the end of the rope, every single night.

For months he'd watched her light dull out. He watched her lose her colors due to stress

he knew how focused and invested she was, but he also saw how it backfired at her too.

For months he helped her through his, with love and care and affection. He really did.

So he knew, yes, he knew.

His heart was aching to see her this tired, yet amazed by her resilience.

He watched as she pushed herself further, harder and tried his best to help her not burn.

There were days he wasn't sure about it, he didn't know if he was helping her for real

he didn't know if it was enough, and doubt crept on his mind. He didn't know, but it was.

She knew that once she would be home, she would also be safe, she would always « be »

she knew that work wouldn't find her there, she wouldn't let her mind play silly games

She wouldn't let her failures define her nor would she forget how to breathe again.

He would remind her to exist, he would remind her to « be », and she loved him for this.

He knew loving her was a piece of work, it was never going to be easy yet he kept going.

He always told her that it wasn't asking too much from him to just be there for her

He always told her that he wanted to love her wholeheartedly and nothing could ruin it.

Not even her own head, not even her own doubts, not even her own fears.

She was a burning flame but he would make sure not to let her burn herself out.