SoA: I am ready to kick him out of my life!

It took me years to recover from the pain he inflicted on me. It took me years to recover and become myself again. He thought he had destroyed me. He thought he had hurt me to the point that there was nothing left behind but he was wrong. So wrong!  I finally found a place I can call home and a friend I can call family. I finally found peace in my life, and joy to the point that I forgot about his very existence. 

I found my place in Charming, with Maya and I would be damned if I had to leave again and hit the road. I would be damned if I had to look past my shoulders because I am worried about him. I am ready, I think, to kick him out of my life forever. 

SOA: With my best friend

Maya was safe and from the moment Mary realized that her sister was no longer in danger, she felt relieved. She didn't sleep that night, instead, she grabbed her phone and went through the pictures she had taken with Maya. She missed their nights out, their moments together.. she missed being able to drop by and sleep at her friend's or to have Maya come over. It took her a while to adjust to living in Charming without her sister. They had their favorite spots, they had so many memories that everywhere in this godforsaken town reminded her of her friend. Every corner of Charming reminded her of Maya's absence. It took a while for those feelings to stop hurting Mary, to stop making her feel bad for missing Maya because it felt as if she was not happy with her friend's new life. It couldn't be further from the truth. Mary was proud of Maya. It was proof that no matter how shitty your life was, there was still light at the end of the tunnel. Maya was proof that it was possible to turn your life around and start anew. It was proof that Mary could be happy... too. 

Maya had always expressed her desire to leave Charming, to have a different life than the one she was forced into. She wouldn't have to deal with gang shit. She wouldn't have to be a gangster princess anymore. No more connections to SAMCRO, no more connections to the people who were no longer there. She left the painful memories in this town and elevated herself to something better. Mary admired that. She admired Maya's resilience and strength and she felt so much joy to see her best friend finally having the life she deserved. Maya adopted cats, and she didn't want to be responsible for someone else's life. She thought she couldn't possibly have someone willing to share their life with her. Not only did a cat choose her, but two did. Not only did animals choose her, but human beings did too.  Nakota surely changed Maya's life trajectory and their love was beautiful to witness. Maya blossomed in this relationship. She learned to trust people. She learned to open up and found unconditional love with Nakota.  Mary, once she was sure that he had Maya's best interest in mind, relaxed around Nakota. He was a fun guy. He was kind, maybe a tad obsessed with her best friend but who wouldn't be? He treated Maya like she deserved and Mary trusted him to care for her. She trusted him to protect her the best he could and she trusted him, to give Maya the space and encouragement she needed to pursue her dreams. 

Three years later and this is exactly what he did. Maya left Charming. She had her own house, shared with pets and her now husband. She was focused on having her own business now and was finally doing something she wanted. It filled Mary's heart with joy and pride. She looked at a sleeping Anubis and a soft smile crept on her lips. Perhaps now was the right moment to focus on herself too? Perhaps now was the moment to put her needs first? Oscar was dead, so she wouldn't be hurt anymore. What did she want? What did she think she deserve? Mary believed that this was the life she deserved. A life with just a pet, her little house and her job. A life with little to no surprises but at least a safe life. Did she long for companionship? She convinced herself that it was for the best if Anubis was her only companion. She could have all the snuggles, all the kisses in the world and at least the certainty that she would never be hurt.  Besides, who would even look at her twice? No, she would save herself from the pain of a heartbreak. Maya was able to move forward and for this, Mary was grateful. Maya was able to build a life for herself and for this, Mary was hopeful. Perhaps she too could do that. Perhaps her life would stop being in shambles. Until then, she would visit Maya and Nakota with her dog Anubis and she would savor each and every moment spent in their company. 

-TBC-

SOA: Please come back

Radio silence....Mary looked at her phone, her fingers ready to tap on the keyboard to write a text to Maya. She pinched her lips together and put the phone against her chest. No... Not now. She couldn't write to Maya at the time. What if she didn't make it? What if she couldn't text her back because she was dead? She clenched her jaw and shook her head. No! Maya couldn't be dead! She couldn't be losing yet another family member. She couldn't cry, not now.. not until she was sure about what was happening. When Nakota texted her to tell her that Maya wasn't home because their cats had not been fed for a while, her heart sank. Maya was not negligent. She wouldn't have left their cats unattended. She wouldn't have stood Nakota up and certainly wouldn't have remained silent. They picked her outfit for the concert together, with Maya on a FaceTime conversation with her best friend. Mary remembered her girl waltzing around the room, trying on outfits she presented to her friend for her honest opinion. They picked the outfit together! They said "I love you" before Maya promised to text her when she arrived at the concert and to tell her about Nakota's reaction to seeing her. She honored the first part of her promise and then radio silence. 

Radio silence.... Perhaps she had forgotten? Mary tried not to make a big deal out of it at first because Maya was cautious and could protect herself well. So she simply worked. She tattooed her clients, took care of her dog Anubis, and enjoyed her solitude. All was well, right? Except it wasn't. Nakota texted her and her world crumbled. Anxiety took over as Mary was thinking about the worst. Anxiety took over because she knew that something had happened to her best friend. Maya had managed to escape SAMCRO. She wasn't a gangster princess anymore and she put this part of her life behind her.  She started a new life with Nakota, away from the turmoil and danger the life of a gang member could bring. So why? How? What happened to her between the moment she went to the concert and her disappearance? Mary held back a sob at the memory of her older brother Cody who fell victim to another gang. She had flashbacks of his body lying on the concrete,  riddled with bullets and soaked with his own blood. He played such a dangerous game and died because of it. Maya was out of that life, she couldn't meet the same fate, now could she? 

Radio silence... Soon after Nakota's text, he called her and they started to talk about what to do. Mary was ready to do anything in her power to find her sister. She needed to do something in order to keep her sanity because if she didn't, then she would have curmbled on the floor. Maya couldn't be hurt. She couldn't be hurt! She shouldn't be! After all she's been through, Mary wanted her best friend to finally enjoy a good life. She was her biggest support when Nakota entered her life, and she was the biggest supporter of them moving out of Charming. She needed to leave that cursed town to finally  start anew. She needed to leave to build her family, to make the life she wanted for herself a reality. Mary understood it and while the first couple months away from her friend were difficult, she got used to it. Maya was happy and it was all that mattered to Mary.  All was well... All was well until she received Nakota's text.  He told her what he knew, as he knew it. Maya had been abducted by her ex. Nakota had to go to her location and face that bastard. He was the one who held Maya's fate in his hands and that left Mary a nervous wreck, back at Charming. 

"I'm so useless... I can't help you from where I am. I don't even know if you're okay. What if Nakota dies? What if you... What if... It can't happen. It can't be. You can't be...oh Maya! Maya... If you die I would join you." She said, choking on her tongue as she bit back a sob. She couldn't imagine a world where her best friend wasn't alive. What could she do? How much more could she take?

Maya... She saved Mary's life. Plain and simple. When they met Mary was about to give up on everything. She was still an active alcoholic, nursing her broken heart with booze, crying herself to sleep at night. Her brother was dead, her parents were long gone and she was running away from an abusive ex who beat her self-esteem and drive down to a pulp.  Her shop was routinely vandalized and she didn't make a lot of money. Why did she keep on trying? When she met Maya, she took it upon herself to help the woman and stitch her up. It seemed like nothing but it was the first step towards a better life. Sobriety. Friendship. A future... A purpose. Maya became her sister, someone Mary would fiercely protect. Someone Mary would always support in whatever she wanted to do. Family...Mary couldn't lose her family again. She had to hear from Maya, maybe it was stupid, but she had to. She took a deep breath and started to type a text. 

"Hey, My favourite. I don't know in what fucked up state you're in but you better text me back and tell me that you're okay. I don't know what to do with myself and I've already ran out of theories about how you'll be back home.  I'm.. I love you. Please come home."

And she hit sent. 

And she still felt awful.

Mary (soa Headcanons)

 Mary (S.o.A) Headcanons: Marriage. 

Mary was engaged before. She used to believe in fairy tales and happy endings but Oscar ruined it for her. He traumatised her so much that the young woman decided that Love wasn't for her and she would never put herself in harm's way ever again. 

 She is so used to drive from one city to another to escape from him,  and change her life overnight that she doesn't really think about love.  If you were to ask Mary if she wants to get married these days, she would tell you no. She would tell you that she's not in the dating pool and is fine by herself. 

However, her romantic heart is not gone. She is a big fan of weddings and is already planning Maya's. -well, not really planning the real deal but daydreaming about it-. She wishes to become her Maiden of honor and would do anything in her power to make this day Maya's perfect day. 

xxxx

 Mary (soa) Heartbreak

Mary joined the ink business as a way to reinvent herself. Her dreams had been shattered by her ex fiancé from the moment he threw her off the stairs. She wasn't there when her mother died and to this day, she still doesn't  forgive herself.  Through her job, she feels as if she was painting Hope, love or joy on the skin of her clients and believes that it removes a little bit of her heartbreak the more she does it. 

Mary holds back a lot. It takes a very close person to notice that she's been hurt. She doesn't speak much about herself, or her past because if she did, if she ever tried to, she would break down in tears and would become a mess. She'd rather keep her pain to herself, as to not become a bother to others.  It's probably best not to ask her how she truly feels, unless you're ready to hear the truth about her.  

Maya and Mary! Dear sister

 "Maya, 

I know you're away for the moment, living your best life and your white Christmas. I couldn't be happier than I am today. You. Happy. Smiling. Lighter. You needed that getaway. You needed that moment frozen in time, with just you and him and peace.  I can't believe that there is a "him". You, who always pushed people away because you were scared, yes you!  you let someone inside. You let him in your heart and I know that it's powerful. I know that it's genuine and I know that he feels the same way for you. This makes me happy, in ways I can't really express. 

I'm not going to bother you while you're away. You gave me your time the day before your trip. We shared a meal. We laughed. We lived in the moment. I lived in the moment and for the first time in a very long time, I felt alive. 

I was looking at you during our meal and I tried and tried so hard to tell you how I felt but words failed me. I just smiled at you, laughed at our terrible jokes, and enjoyed your warmth but I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to sour the moment. I didn't want to ruin the mood. Or maybe, I was a bit of a coward and couldn't tell you how I felt. 

This is weird. In a way, it is weird because you know me. You know me more than anyone else. I had lost everyone and everything before we met. I have been on my own for so long because fear crippled me. I was afraid for my life. I was afraid for the lives of people close to me, so it was best for me to keep to myself. Yet, I met you, and we bonded, and quickly enough all I wanted was to take care of you. 

I remember seeing you bruised and battered. I remember the long nights spent patching you up and listening to you. I was pleased to listen. I was happy to help. I was happy to protect you when needed. Gosh. I loved you from the moment I realized that we shared the same sense of humor. You were like me, bruised by life yet surviving, passionate and intense yet scared. I was scared to live. I was scared of life. I was so convinced that I didn't deserve to be happy and shouldn't allow myself to love again. Yet, I found you. My best friend. My sister. 

You know what you did for me? You took care of me. You wanted to know me. You saw me and I let out a big sigh of relief, one I didn't realize I was holding back after all these years. You made me peel the layers off of my heart and you made me feel comfortable with myself. You never judged me. you never mocked me. You protected me. I have never been able to see myself as someone who could be protected, or who deserved softness, and yet, you came and showed me I was wrong. 

You care for me. You love me. You mean everything to me because thanks to you, I got a newfound love for life. You make me want to have a future and you make me want to see you become happier. I wanted to tell you everything that night, to let you know that you were family to me. I wanted to let you know that I would do anything and I mean, anything, to protect you. I didn't want things to get sour, so I kept it to myself, but I would tell you someday. until then, I will show you. Until then, please enjoy your time out of town. Enjoy yourself."