A vintage's touch: The year is ending.

The year is ending, my love. the year is ending and all that I wish is to be able to sleep by your side. The quiet silence of our bedroom, and the comfortable silence we share is a treasured safe haven for me... There, in the confines of our bedroom, when Time has stopped, I feel the safest. There, in the confines of our bedroom, You don't have to play a role. You don't have to say words you don't want to say. I can hear you just fine. I can hear you just fine and I can understand you. 

The year is ending, my love and even then, I can't say it. My love for you is at the tip of my tongue, in the eyes I use to look at you, in the hands I use to stroke your skin. I can't say the words, but my heart is overflowing with it. I am in love with you Tommy Shelby. I want to marry you. I dream of that day. I raise your child...a child I consider mine too. I want to carry your child too, someday, maybe.  The year is ending and I wish I could open my heart to you and let you know just how much you mean to me. 

The year is ending, my love, and I wish you could know that I see you. I see your pain. I see your scars. I see you as you are. I know you have blood on your hands. I know you've been hurt during the war. I know you've been..hurt by life and I love you still. I love you still, with your flaws, your qualities, your dreams, and your nightmares. I am with you and I wish I could say those words and perhaps, the year to come would give me the strength to confess to you. I hope so. "

COPG: A new human year

"A new human year. 

Rebirth. 

Excellence.

We have goals to meet, 

An ambition to feed.

A destiny to forge. 

A new human year. 

Rebirth. 

Unforgiveness. 

I am petty, I am scorned. 

I am thirsty for blood. 

My Pantheon begone! 

I only have one wish. 

The wish to see them perish.

The wish to avenge us. 

for all, they did. 

A new human year. 

A new human year with you. 

Superbia, my Superbia...

Let's enter the year together.

Doya: new year's eve.

New year, it's going to be a fantastic year I think, Dean. it's really the simple things, the fact you and I can still hunt together, spend time together, cuddle each other and so much more. I love it, I love it that we have been able to build our home in each other. That's what it is, isn't it? You are my home and no matter where we are, I will always feel at home because you're here. And the home would feel complete when we're together, with Sam and Castiel.  A new year is going to be the same year, just better. It's gonna be you and me against monsters and evil. It's gonna be you and me...

You're my family. Your kids are my family too. I know we haven't talked much about it since I heard about Kira and Connor. But they're my family too.  You're my family, Sam and Castiel are my families too. I love it. I love that we can spend time together, care for each other and stick together, as a family. I... I'm a Winchester too. I share your heart and you share mine.  New year... What more can I ask for the new year if not to spend it with you? My life is perfect! it's just the way I  want it. It's just perfect as it is because you're here. Because you love me and because I love you.  Let's keep on building our home together, Dean. Let's keep on moving forward. let's make this year a beautiful one!"

GoT: new year!

"I pray the seven gods, Old and New, to be favored by them. I pray to the seven gods, Old and New, to have my sister's blessings. I know that the year to come will be filled with challenges. I know the world would be against us, should we be blessed by my sisters. I know our lives would be put on the line, because I chose you, because I loved you and because you're not dead. I know plenty would try to get revenge for what your House did. Your brother and sister are working tirelessly in order to restore the name of your family, and I know that you would do it. I trust Lady Kyra and I trust you.

I have never doubted you because I saw the man you were. I know the man you are. I know the real you, the one others don't want to see. I trust you, Jaime. I trust you with my life and I trust you with my heart and soul. So. I am ready to do anything in my power to protect you and your family. I will obey my sister, even if that breaks my heart because I am loyal to her. Still, I pray. Still, I hope. Still, I wish that the gods would favor me and that we would be together. It would be the greatest gift they could do to me, the greatest after they gave me a family."

GoT: Redwyne's revolution

 GoT: Redwyne's revolution

// flash-forward. Tyrion is actually thinking about what's to come. 

xxx

House Redwyne. Tyrion could understand why they would resent the new queen. Daenerys wasn't popular everywhere. That much could be understood. For Westeros, she was the silver-haired bitch that came from the south. She was a menace, the scourge that would drastically destroy the very fabric of their society. She had tamed beasts that could devour her very enemies, dragons she considered her own children. She had killed the old masters of the south and could very much try to kill the noble families that had existed for centuries. The Redwynes would not try to confront the queen, lest they wanted to die by the fire of her dragons. They would, however, try to reach out to her and kill the closest person she had. Her own blood, the young princess. Learning that princess Bäahal was traveling the world in order to play the ambassador was welcomed with exctiment. They used it against her. They used Bäahal's kindness against her and ambushed the princess. Tyrion knew that it was just a matter of time before they went after the queen. For the moment, the survival of the princess had been kept a secret and Jaime had just returned from his mission with Commander Jon.

They would have to discuss their findings and the fact House Redwyne was to be considered an enemy. The priority was to avoid an all-out war, but they also had to make a lesson out of the Redwynes. He rubbed his temple and drank his cup of wine. The queen was trying to deal with the relationship between his brother and her sister. That had to be settled somehow, because they had to know if their union was allowed or if they were forbidden to be together. Jaime had done his best not to give into his desire and urges. He had done things right. He had found someone who cared for him and who genuinely loved him, flaws and all. Tyrion didn't know what Bäahal saw in Jaime. He loved his brother and he wanted him to survive his queen's judgement. Jaime deserved better. He deserved much better and Tyrion wanted nothing but his brother's happiness. He was aware that Bäahal held Jaime's heart in her hands. He was aware that Jaime made the princess happy, perhaps the happiest she had ever been. They really were a beautiful couple and Tyrion wished nothing more but for the two of them to get what they wanted. 

Yet... There was something looming in the distance. Jaime was hated, perhaps he even was the most hated man of Westeros. He had a target on his back and no one but the princess and his siblings, no one could ever want his well-being. So he was afraid, for both of Jaime and the princess. He was afraid of what was to come but he knew they would prepare for anything. 

-TBC-

GoT (modern): White Christmas

 GoT (modern): White Christmas

// I very much love these two, so I had to write something about them. The very first-moment Bäahal would claim her love for Jaime. It's a little bit of a flash forward.

xxxx

Jaime Lannister's secret lair: 

The Lannister and the Targaryen were enjoying a fresh glass of wine by the fire. Jaime had spoiled them with a delicious dinner and they relished in a lovely moment spent together. Bäahal's heart was beating hard. Her purple eyes were shifting from left to right as she didn't know how to brace herself and find the strength to tell Jaime how she felt about him. Her fingers tapped against her lap and she chose to stand up because she couldn't handle staying still. Jaime's emerald eyes followed the young woman as she put her glass of wine on the table near her and stood up. He watched as her silver hair cascaded onto her chest and back. Her purple eyes were nervously staring at him and she put both hands on her waist. 

"Jaime Lannister! I love being your girlfriend. I love being yours, okay? I love being here, in our secret lair and most of all, I love being in your arms. I want you to know that I don't care about our family feud. I don't care about whatever people would say about us. They might like it, they might hate it, I don't care! they might think I'm too young for you or you're too old for me, I don't care! I don't! I really don't! I love you. I am in love with you! I know you know, and I know you feel the same for me. It's just... I wanted to say it. I wanted to say that I was helplessly in love with you. Because it's true. so...here it is."

She was breathing hard and Jaime realized that she was still uncomfortable. She tried to make it as if it wasn't a big deal (and somehow it wasn't since they both felt the same thing) but he knew that it was important to her to speak her mind. She had been deceived and heartbroken by her previous relationship and he knew she had tried to protect her heart as hard as she could before they met. He still remembered the first time they met and the fact she was afraid he would leave her alone. He knew by then, that she had been left behind one too many times and now that they shared a bond, she didn't want to lose it. The fact Bäahal was confessing her love for him was a huge step forward. He smiled at her and as she was giving him the sweetest and crookest smile she could offer, the Lannister stood up and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her towards his hard frame and  leaned his forehead against hers.

"Bäahal Targaryen! You're quite the woman you know?" -He smiled and pressed his lips to hers, in a soft and gentle kiss- "I am helplessly in love with you too. I know you know, but I wanted you to hear it too. You are a generous and gentle soul, Bäahal. You are sweet and kind, and loyal. You are funny and you make it harder for me to be away from you."

"Harder for you?' -She chuckled and pressed her lips to his. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and tilted her head to the side. Jaime nodded and gently pressed another kiss to her lips. "I like the idea that you're thinking about me when I'm not around."

"More than you can think of." -She smiled at him and he gave her the warmest hug he could.-

-TBC-

Doya: Last christmas

Doya: Last Christmas

 // I love these two. I just wanted something for them. 

xxx

"Dean, 

This year had been one of the toughest we had to deal with. I can't believe that we almost lost each other. I realized that I did not want to leave you behind. I feared Death for the first time, not for myself but for the consequences it would have on you. You've lost so much already, Dean. You've lost so much that I didn't want you to lose anymore.  Joshua nearly died but I found strength in you. Your support helped me deal with the news and you even gave me the strength to investigate his case and get rid of the monster that mauled and crippled him. Not easy, I give you that. We reflected a lot on the things we lost over the years. I was scared and upset because I couldn't remember the faces and voices of my family. I felt that I was betraying them once again but you managed to comfort me. Sam reflected on how losing Charlie hurt you both, and how my obsession with finding and killing Pluto was driving you insane. I didn't make it easy on you, did I? You had to hear me cry for help, thinking I was about to die and I might as well have if Castiel had not found me. We had a rough year, Dean. We really did. 

But, we also had a good time. I love hunting with you. I love saving people and I fancy watching you work. It's always gratifying to see that our work matters. It's always such a big rush of adrenaline when we're together and we fight monsters. I love our job. I love that we have been given the tools to defeat evil and monsters and protect life. I love to spend time with you. I never get bored when we're together. I love snuggling against you. I love giving you my affection. I love singing songs, keeping you warm against me. I love taking care of you. Basically, I just love you. I love how comfortable we are when we're together. You cook breakfast for me, sometimes even dinner if we're at the bunker. I buy you pies when it's my turn to the grocery store, I buy you ugly aprons. We have our habits, and I love that. I love that we have a life together. Can you believe it, Dean? We have a life together. 

You told me once that we share one heart and while I agreed and understood somehow what you meant, I truly felt it recently. There is no "I" anymore. There is a "we". All of the decisions I make, I make them with us in mind. The future I imagine, it is ours. I cannot live without you, Dean. I can't, no matter how hard I try, I just can't live without you. That's all I want to remember at the end of the year. That you and I, we share one heart and I refuse to have it any other way. Our hearts have been broken so many times but we've always managed to stand back up and keep going. we've managed to build something together, something good, something true. we love each other and we are family. Team Free Will, and me. so yes, I count my blessings. I'm happy about the year we had together because it is ending as it has started: together."

-TBC-

A vintage's touch: Desire

Desire. 

"How long have you wanted to fuck my brother" Ada's crude words made Mary blush hard. Could she truly pinpoint the moment she felt desire for Tommy? It all became a blur after John's death, mostly because that led Mary and Tommy to share a bed that night. That led to them dealing with their grief the only way they knew how to, through sex. It didn't feel personal, mostly because it wasn't. Yet, Mary had been in love with him before that fateful day. The young woman could remember quite easily that following Grace's death, as soon as Tommy took her to his house, she started to see him in a different light. 

Mary's love and Mary's lust had not always been in harmony. Was it lust she felt first or was it, Love? She couldn't say and she didn't want to think about it. It didn't matter if she got flustered when their eyes met. It didn't matter if she could feel her chest heave up and down whenever he was close to her frame and she could feel the scent of tobacco, alcohol, and perhaps metal.  It didn't matter when. All that mattered was how intense that was. Ada sometimes joked with Mary about seeing her combust someday because of her frustration and the lack of attention her brother had. Truth be told, Ada wasn't so far off the truth. Mary did desire, Tommy. 

She spent countless nights vicariously trying to relieve the tension that had built up during the day. She tried to explore her body which was aching for the older man in ways only she knew. Her fingers were helpless. Her hunger for him was hopeless. She needed him. In the confines of her room, Mary begged Tommy to end her suffering and take her instead. She wanted him to take her with the passion she knew he had in him. She wanted him to punish her for the bad and unholy thoughts she had for the man during the day and at night.  It was in vain, for her hunger grew more intense as she tried to satisfy herself.  Her nights were spent with the vision of Tommy's chiseled face, and her hands tracing the lines of his cheeks. Her room allowed for her moans to echo through the walls while she tried to imagine it was him who was taking her and not her who was doing it to herself. 

She needed to hear him say her name, claim her body as his, marking her skin with his so everyone would know she was his. Her mind was driving Mary crazy, and her body was feverishly trying to cope with her desire for Tommy Shelby, but it was in vain. Mary was frustrated. She wanted to let her fingers run into his thick black locks. She wanted to moan his name, to let him know that he was making her feel good. She wanted to bite his shoulder as he would hit her sweetest spot. But there was more than just the flesh. She knew it. There was more than just a mere desire to fuck Tommy Shelby. She wanted to scream her love to him. 

Her words were stuck in her throat, ready to be said. "I love you, Tommy. I am in love with you Tommy. Do you understand?" she wished to tell him, green eyes upon blue ones, her breath against his skin. her heart beating fast in her ribcage. She wanted to let him know that she wanted him. a life with him. Life as his wife and the mother of his child. stepmother to be precise since she didn't want to replace Grace. She wanted to be made into an honorable married woman with children. she wanted Tommy's babies. Yet, her dreams and desires were lost somewhere in her mind. Her mouth forever shut down because she didn't want to rush into something that would break her heart. she didn't want to hurt herself with feelings he would reject. So she kept it at the tip of her tongue and held back.... held back... held back for now.  Ada knew, Polly, Arthur, hell, the whole world knew the truth that Tommy and Mary kept from each other and yet... yet... Mary wasn't sure about his feelings for her. She wasn't sure he wanted the same thing. She was afraid he might reject her. She was in limbo and they both knew it.

A vintage's touch: the Father and the Son

 The Father and the Son. 

The family she didn't dare claim out loud.

The Father and the Son.

The son lapsus reveals a more profound desire.

The Father's silence, hiding a truth untold.

Bearer of good news and of hidden fears.

An overwhelming silence she can't stand.

A love so intense, so pure yet kept away, 

for neither of them was ready to give in

Neither of them was willing to lose more.

The Father, the Son, and the dead mother. 

The Father, the Son, and the Step-Mother. 

The Husband, the wife, and their child.

Not picture-perfect, but not a lie either.

The Father, the Son, and a new Life.

both desired but didn't try to have.

Or so they thought."

Maya and Mary! Dear sister

 "Maya, 

I know you're away for the moment, living your best life and your white Christmas. I couldn't be happier than I am today. You. Happy. Smiling. Lighter. You needed that getaway. You needed that moment frozen in time, with just you and him and peace.  I can't believe that there is a "him". You, who always pushed people away because you were scared, yes you!  you let someone inside. You let him in your heart and I know that it's powerful. I know that it's genuine and I know that he feels the same way for you. This makes me happy, in ways I can't really express. 

I'm not going to bother you while you're away. You gave me your time the day before your trip. We shared a meal. We laughed. We lived in the moment. I lived in the moment and for the first time in a very long time, I felt alive. 

I was looking at you during our meal and I tried and tried so hard to tell you how I felt but words failed me. I just smiled at you, laughed at our terrible jokes, and enjoyed your warmth but I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to sour the moment. I didn't want to ruin the mood. Or maybe, I was a bit of a coward and couldn't tell you how I felt. 

This is weird. In a way, it is weird because you know me. You know me more than anyone else. I had lost everyone and everything before we met. I have been on my own for so long because fear crippled me. I was afraid for my life. I was afraid for the lives of people close to me, so it was best for me to keep to myself. Yet, I met you, and we bonded, and quickly enough all I wanted was to take care of you. 

I remember seeing you bruised and battered. I remember the long nights spent patching you up and listening to you. I was pleased to listen. I was happy to help. I was happy to protect you when needed. Gosh. I loved you from the moment I realized that we shared the same sense of humor. You were like me, bruised by life yet surviving, passionate and intense yet scared. I was scared to live. I was scared of life. I was so convinced that I didn't deserve to be happy and shouldn't allow myself to love again. Yet, I found you. My best friend. My sister. 

You know what you did for me? You took care of me. You wanted to know me. You saw me and I let out a big sigh of relief, one I didn't realize I was holding back after all these years. You made me peel the layers off of my heart and you made me feel comfortable with myself. You never judged me. you never mocked me. You protected me. I have never been able to see myself as someone who could be protected, or who deserved softness, and yet, you came and showed me I was wrong. 

You care for me. You love me. You mean everything to me because thanks to you, I got a newfound love for life. You make me want to have a future and you make me want to see you become happier. I wanted to tell you everything that night, to let you know that you were family to me. I wanted to let you know that I would do anything and I mean, anything, to protect you. I didn't want things to get sour, so I kept it to myself, but I would tell you someday. until then, I will show you. Until then, please enjoy your time out of town. Enjoy yourself."

December 2022

Let's finish the year beautifully. 

Let's shed our old skins and reveal our new ones. 

Let's forgive our enemies but not forget their evil deeds.

Let's bleed our griefs into the void for we will be reborn anew.

I am offering you my hand, 

Take it and let me lift you up. 

Take it, and let me protect you. 

Take it, and let's enter 2023 stronger than ever,

Together.

The end of 2022

 How to define 2022?

As usual, the wonderful art (and tradition) by the wonderful artist Lelia.  I fell in love with her art in 2011 and as soon as she started this tradition, I just embraced it all together :D  With this, of course, I always attached a little reflection on the year that passed and wishes for the year to come. 

Complex. Intense. Fulfilling...

I will start by wishing you the best holiday season to all of you.  I know that the year has been quite intense for some of you, quite fulfilling for others, and quite exciting as well. I can only hope that 2023 would sort things out in a positive way. I can only hope that you will keep on exploring and experimenting. I can only hope that you will keep on taking care of yourselves, your needs, your dreams, and your desires and for those who couldn't rest this year, I can wish you all the rest possible. I know it's a bit cheesy, but I really want you to have a better 2023, far better than 2022, and be much happier. 

Man, I thought 2021 would be the end of it, but then my dad was diagnosed with a serious illness that nearly took his life. Some friends still got that short end of the stick. Despite my good intentions, the holiday season at the end of 2021 was a nightmare because I thought I would lose my dad. I had to make some sacrifices I won't discuss here but, things looked bleak on my end. I am still hurting from the death of my friend Colleen and that only stressed me about losing my loved ones. 2022 was tough, honestly, I spent the whole year terrified and exhausted. Being the caretaker of my dad, while also ensuring that my sisters didn't burn out had been extremely challenging.  To make matters even worse, not only were we forced to move out of the house we rented (the owner wanted to sell it), but my twin sister got recently diagnosed with another serious illness that left me terrified of losing her too. So of course, the end of that year is spent packing, supervising visits to our house, and caring for my twin while she's still working. it's rough, but we take it one day after the other.  And I can only hope that the worst of it is behind us.

The year had not just been challenging. I count my blessings because I was able to have a very intense and positive year at a very personal level. My partner and I keep on strengthening our bond. I'm happy with him. I really am. I finished my first draft. Proofread it and will be ready to correct, translate and professionally edit the book come next year. It's something I never thought could happen. I have been working on the book for so long now and had to build everything from scratch,  I had doubts, hesitated, hated myself and cried and screamed, and tried to delete everything but in the end, I made it happen. I finished the first draft and I am motivated to keep on working on it and finally present to you a final product. This is extremely exciting and I feel grateful to have been able to get there. I count my blessings because I was able to travel more this year. I discovered Italy, the UK, and Greece, and returned to Belgium and some other places in France. I conquered my fear of planes, and I conquered my fear of the sea (and the cold sea at that) and that felt great. I swam at sea!!! 

I count my blessings because this had also been a year that tested my friendship with people. It helped me go deeper with some of them and cut ties with some others that were not positive for me. Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, if spending time with them or interacting with them in one way or another end up making you feel awful, then it's best to put an end to it.  I feel better, definitely better because of this. I felt privileged to share my friends' important moments and to be a friend to them to my best abilities.  I was able to meet new people, broaden my cycle of friends, to grow more comfortable in my skin. I still continue my therapy, still, take care of my mental health and still fuel my creativity.  It's been a really good year and I really loved it. I can only wish that the year to come, would top it off or be even better. 

I really hope that you will have a wonderful end of the year and that 2023 would treat you better. 

May

the boys: He was danger incarnate.

She knew she shouldn't trust his face. Something about him screamed danger. He was a dangerous man. He was so dangerous that he could snap at any moment and end her life. Sara had done everything she could to stay alive and lead a quiet life. She tried to stay out of trouble but TROUBLE came into her life like a car crash. 

Homelander. He was impossible. Impossible to beat, impossible to read, impossible to anticipate. He was DANGER incarnate, something that awoke a primordial fear inside her. he was terrifying and she could feel fear cling to her bones. She could feel fear cripple her (and alongside it, her breasts milk her shirts). She was scared he would hurt her because of something she'd do that wouldn't please him. 

Yet... yet... there was more to him than meets the eye. She could feel it. He was not the kind of man who would hurt those who cared for him. He wouldn't hurt people who would be honest with him. Heck, even his feud with Butcher didn't finish with him killing the bastard (no matter how many chances he got). So perhaps, he was longing for companionship? perhaps, he was like her, in some way? He wanted someone he could trust and who could care for him? Perhaps, he had depths and layers? She didn't know the truth about him. (the whole truth that is), but she knew enough to suspect that he was in pain and he was alone. so if she could provide him her company and compassion, maybe he would feel less lonely. Perhaps, she would feel less lonely. perhaps she wouldn't feel attracted to him in a way she couldn't comprehend yet. who knew? but DANGER himself? "

A vintage's touch: Archer and Mary

Archer was not in a hurry. As a matter of fact, he had all the time in the world since he had set his eyes on Mary Coulson and Tommy Shelby's Gin business. The business was fine. He was a business shark. He knew how to swim in troubled waters. Besides, he wouldn't have issues dealing with that gangster trash. After all, they were all out of their depths, and sooner or later they would make a mistake and he would punish them for it. Archer was not in a hurry. He would dethrone the King of Birmingham. He would ruin the man. 

What had caught his interest, however, was the woman Michael claimed was Tommy's lover. He had seen her in real life. he had seen her true beauty that even Michael undersold to him. He heard her voice, but he had not yet made a move toward her. It would have to wait until it was the right time. She seemed to spend most of her time alone, and she was vulnerable. Archer was a ladies' man and he knew how to charm the panties off of them.  Mary was slowly but surely driving him insane with lust. He lusted after her kindness. He lusted after the warmth she gave those orphan kids. He lusted after her rich and velvety voice that got every single part of his body to stand for attention. He lusted after her smile, those plump lips he wanted to kiss, those bright emerald eyes he wanted to look into. OH, he lusted after her curves. 

She was a saint, with the body of a sinner and he wanted to sin with her so much so that the thought had started to obsess him. He understood at this moment, why Michael was so hell-bent on stealing her from Tommy. How could a man like him notice someone like Mary? He wouldn't. he couldn't appreciate her beauty. He couldn't appreciate the voluptuous curves even if they were before him. He couldn't appreciate her dedication and he would definitely not know how to break her into submission. Archer was certain of that. Perhaps, stealing Mary was far more interesting than stealing his business. With Mary, the reward was even bigger and the pleasure he'd get from her was worth the trouble. The only thing Archer didn't know or didn't care to know was that Mary was not easily swayed. She was not just a pleasant face or an attractive body. She was a fierce soul. She was a strong soul. She was a loyal lover but more importantly, she had already given her heart to Tommy. Archie underestimated the woman and he would pay the price, but he didn't know it just yet. 

COPG: Life of Elpis: Primordial gods

Primordial gods were the first and most powerful beings to ever exist. They were the first gods, the originals. Gaea created mankind, as her first feat, thus paving the way for new gods to emerge. Through her, were born the Summerian Pantheon, the Greek one, the Indian one, the Orishas, and so on and so forth. Through Gaea were born the monotheist religions, those that celebrate and worship only one god.

Primordial gods were the first to exist, the most powerful beings and the most arrogant ones. When the last of them was born, a true love child of Khaos and Gaea, they got scared. When Elpis was born, they all felt the shift in the air as humans discovered Hope and accomplished feats through her sheer power. Her existence was a test of strength and loyalty. Her existence was a threat to the order that was already in place. So they kept her in metaphorical chains. 

All of that was for nothing because a simple encounter changed the course of history forever. She met Pride, the Sin of all Sins. She fell in love with him and that tiny little grain of salt froze the machine. they tried to keep her in chains but she found a way to set herself free. They ultimately betrayed her and cursed her to be forgotten by all and kept a prisoner in human vessels... but Pride found her. Her stubbornness freed her. Destiny couldn't be stopped. 

Today, Elpis was about to wage war with her kin. She was about to slaughter every single one of these traitors and she was going to her mother's crown and power. Today, Elpis was unstoppable and she would show the universe, why she was to be feared. Why she was to be revered. Why she was to be worshipped.

Klasma: He wasn't a lost cause.

He was a lost cause or so they said. A monster who wreaked havoc no matter where he went. Very few knew what tortured the Hybrid. Very few knew what he went through and how wounded his soul was. Nobody cared and nobody wanted to care.

 He was a lost cause, or so they said. They let anger take the best of them.  She did before she realized that being angry wasn't going to solve anything. It wasn't going to bring back what she lost. It wasn't going to heal her nor would it break the curse that was cast upon her. Being angry, being filled with hatred, that was bringing nothing of value to the witch. Just pain. Just despair. Just nightmares. 

So she chose to do something different. She chose to get to know him.  She chose to trust her guts and let her be a force of good instead. She wouldn't destroy but she would build. She wouldn't kill him, but she would show him compassion instead. She would treat him like she wished she were treated. She would see the man he was, before the hybrid. She would get to know Klaus. 

He wasn't a lost cause. 

He was misunderstood. 

He was lonely. 

He was in pain. 

and yes, that might not absolve him of all of his sins. That would not bring her family back. That would not unmake her curse but it would steer her in the right direction. It would turn things into something positive. It would be an act of Mercy. To whom? it was perhaps, an act of Mercy on her."

Doya: " Comfort, warmth, and playfulness"

comfort, warmth, and playfulness. 

Oya was all of this and some more. She was Dean's partner, his family, and his lover. She was the first sight he had in the morning and the last face he saw when he fell asleep. 

Comfort, warmth, playfulness

Oya was playful. Oh, she really was. Her stint with Pluto led her to realize just how eager she was to live. So she became even more playful. He didn't mind. Oh, why would he? Have you looked at her?  

Comfort, warmth, playfulness

Oya was Dean's anchor to this life. She was his very own family, the promise of a future that would not be so bleak. She reminded him that there was still good on Earth. She taught him that he could be loved and that he was wanted and needed. She taught him that he could have the life he wanted.

He could have it with her. 

Oh, yes.. he could. and he would. 

got modern: she was nervous.

Bäahal was nervous. It wasn't a big deal, not a big nervous break, no. Not like that. She was nervous because she wanted to tell Jaime how she felt about him. She had already done that in the past, during a dance with her former fiancé, in the comfort of his flat. She whispered to his ear while he had nuzzled her neck "Elias...I just want you to know that I am in love with you." That was simple, no theatrics, no preparation. It was spontaneous. 

With Jaime, it was something that had lingered on her mind for a while now. Two Christmas ago, the heiress knew that she was in love with the older Lannister. She was desperately, hopelessly, deeply in love with him but didn't know if she could say those words just yet. It wasn't because she was afraid of saying them -well, kind of-, it was because she didn't want him to add troubles to his plate. She was a Targaryen and he was a Lannister. He was older than her and given the stupid mentality of some of the wealthy kids she spent her time with, it could cause some backlash. She was terrified of his father and didn't know how her siblings would react to the news...

Yet, yet, she loved him. She wanted to tell him. She needed to tell him and she would. The best way to do it was to let it come naturally. So she would try not to think too hard about it, yet.. yet, her heart was flustered. Her heart was beating fast. She was nervous. She was in love."

Got regular: Dreading

"Bäahal was dreading the final decision of her sister. Everything had been said and done, and the only thing that the princess could do was wait. It should have been something easy, hadn't she been waiting most of her life? Hadn't she been buying time until she could seize the perfect opportunity to set herself free? Why was it different this time? 

The silver princess knew that the decision Daenerys was to make would change her future. Should she deny them,  Jaime would never be able to stay near Bäahal. He would never be able to run his hand through her hair, press his lips to hers, or hold her in his arms. He would never be able to have a second chance at love. Should Dany deny them, Bâahal would never be able to explore her feelings for a man. She would never be able to know what true love was, nor that she deserved to have it.

 Should she deny them, the princess would put duty before herself. She would be.... oh she would be unhappy...Yet, there was hope to keep. Her sister could approve. She could embrace them and they would finally, oh finally be together. Bäahal was eager to experience it. She wanted to know what Love was. She tried to let the whole world know about her feelings for the Knight. She wanted to build something for herself, a family. she wanted to make a family with Jaime and nobody else.  Waiting... that was the only thing she could do. 

Short short, Christmas edition

"We don't celebrate Christmas. How could we when it brings us back to painful memories? How could we when it reminds us of what we've lost over the years? Those are deep wounds that cannot be closed, a pain that cannot be soothed, a hole that keeps on being dug. I don't remember the sound of my parent's voices. I still can recall my brother's, but it's becoming more and more distant. I still remember their faces, but it's becoming more and more blurry.  So we don't celebrate. Instead, we work together. We love each other, we fuck each other, we save people and we hunt monsters. That's what we want, that's what we need.  geez! I love it. I'm happy."

xxx

Bäahal didn't like winter. It wasn't just the cold that she couldn't stand. It wasn't just the fact she had to wear layers and layers of fabric in order to keep herself warm. It was the fact everything was white. Everything was cold. Everything was dead. It reminded her of her mother whose skin was so white that it almost looked like snow (due to her albinism). It reminded of her what she had lost. Of the gentleness of her mother and the warmth she always gave her daughter. It reminded her of the sacrifices Sunni did, in order to protect her child from danger. Her mother took all the risks for Bäahal, and the weather played a role in bringing the young woman the morns. Bäahal didn't like winter. She didn't like the grief she felt because she couldn't tell her mother just how far she's come. She couldn't tell her mother how happier she was, and that frustration, coupled with the fact she was missing her mother was unbearable. 

xxx

(Mary TVD): 

"Samain? I always manage to honor the holiday despite not being able to connect to my fellow witches or my ancestors. I still do it, on my own, in a way to keep my sanity. I am a witch. I have not betrayed my faith, my coven, or my sisters but still... I feel empty. I feel lonely. I feel....frustrated. There were days when honoring my heritage was welcomed. It was comforting. I felt like myself again. I didn't need to have sisters by my side to complete the rituals, I learned how to do it by myself. There were days, however, when it felt pathetic and disgusting and it made me angry. It made me so angry that I couldn't complete it. I just...It's just.....Ah! Samain....I always manage to honor it. but I'm tired as shit to be celebrating alone."

xxxx

(Soa)

"I don't really celebrate Christmas. what's the point in reminding myself that I have no family left? What's the point in reminding myself that I could so easily slip up into my old drinking habits? It's miserable, it's shitty. it's so grim that I'd rather not celebrate the holidays. Yeah... or maybe... Maybe I could just work, make some cookies or something... pretend I care just so I could eat something nice. eh.... still sounds pathetic. I'd rather not celebrate the holidays at all. so Guess who's gonna work instead? this girl!"

xxx

(PB)

"Christmas? It was one of Mary's favorite days. She could care for her loved ones, especially children. She always made sure that the children of the Grace Shelby Institute were well-treated, cared for, and spoiled for the holidays to come. She remembered her own time at the orphanage when the cruel nurses would make sure that she didn't get any present under their watch. Mary witnessed them repurpose her gifts and claim them for the Orphanage or, even worse, take them off of her hands to give them to other children.  That left a deep scar in her heart and the woman swore she would always make sure that the children under her care would never have to go through such cruel treatment. 

Aside from the orphans, Mary was even more excited to share it with the family. She always got involved in preparing for the holidays; She would assist Frances in the kitchen, she would tend to the kids, she would help Ada, care for Charlie, and support (with some success and some failure) Arthur in his attempt not to get shitfaced...She would feel at home. Mary was looking forward to celebrating the holidays with those she loved as her family. She was looking forward to seeing one particular person with a smile on his face. This would be a Christmas present, to see Tommy smile. To watch him enjoy the presence of those he loved, to have him stop and breathe... live... and love."

A vintage's touch: the honorary Shelby

"Tommy was the only one who could make Mary laugh. They all have noticed it. Mary was very private with her emotions, perhaps, a habit she took from growing up at the orphanage. Her face was closed off and hard to read, but there were moments when it became easy. Usually, her face lit up when Charlie was around. Her nurturing nature made her care for the child, acting like a mother to him.  Her face lit up even more when Tommy was here. When they were alone together. 

When they were alone, something shifted in the air. Suddenly there was no stress, no duties, and no more obligations; There were just the two of them and their wild emotions. The air was thick, laced with unsaid words and unchecked feelings. The air was thick, filled with love, the one they had for each other. Filled with regrets and fear. Filled with devotion and loyalty. They loved each other but they weren't ready to express it just yet. but he could see it. The family could see it. He was the only one who could make her laugh. He was the only one who could touch her heart."

Klasma: She wasn't a hypocrite

(mary TVD)

"Mary wasn't a hypocrite. She knew all too well the thrill of taking someone's life for what she called "good reasons". She was, after all, the Monster among them. A cursed witch whose fate was to be hunted down and killed by every single living creature. She had no kin, so to speak, as the witches had forsaken her, the vampires were her natural enemies, the werewolves could smell her at a distance and humans were natural enemies of her kind. 

Mary wasn't a hypocrite. She couldn't blame Klaus for wanting to kill his enemies. She would even gladly protect him if push comes to shove. however, she couldn't allow him to go on a rampage. She couldn't allow him to lose himself, not when he was barely hanging on a thread.  Klaus was a multilayered being. that much, Mary knew because he was her kin. She knew how much pain he was in. She knew how much anger, disappointment, sadness, and self-loathing he felt because she felt the same.  So she would try to protect him. She would do anything to protect him. She loved him."

soa: my Home

(Soa)

"I found myself, in the least likely place to find it. I found myself when I made friends. I found myself when I settled and decided that from now on, Charming was my home. I found myself when I stopped running away from my emotions. I had to go through pain.  When people asked me while I used to drink myself to sleep. How could I tell them that it was a way for me to numb my pain? 

When I was drunk, I wasn't suffering anymore. I didn't remember the pain Oscar caused me. The sting of his punches. the bruises on my arms, and my legs that I had to hide. The blood on my scalp from his nails grazing my skin. I couldn't remember his tears after he had hurt me, or his cracking voice as he tried to apologize to me. He didn't mean his words. He just wanted to keep me under his control. 

When I was drunk. I didn't have to relive my trauma. Suddenly, he wasn't hurting me anymore. Suddenly, I wasn't crying in a puddle of my blood anymore. Suddenly, I forgot the sound of his voice or the features of his face. I didn't remember how he smelled, or why it was my fault. When I was drunk....when I was drunk... But I am not drunk anymore. I am free. I found myself again. I found myself again.....and I'll be damned if I got lost again."

COPG: Revenge on my mind

(Elpis) 

"Revenge had been on my mind for as long as I can remember. I guess that seeing my brother betray me the way he did, broke my heart into thousand pieces. I wanted to destroy him, and the whole pantheon for what they did to me. I wanted to destroy everything for everything I have lost.

I almost gambled on my ability to scratch the seal that kept me trapped in human beings. I held onto my promise to see Pride again, but even then, I wasn't sure I would find the one I left behind.  I was right, he was different. He had been unmade by Hades and remade into a new being. A new one. A different one...

Revenge was still on my mind. I still was getting ready to take my rightful place in this universe, yes. But Revenge wasn't the only thing now. I wanted to build my life with my Beloved. I wanted to see us seated on our thrones. I wanted to see a crown on top of his head. I wanted the world to acknowledge him as the rightful emperor of the universe. 

I am the goddess of Hope and  Light. I am hell-bent on destroying the pantheon but I am also a goddess in love. Have you ever felt it?  the overwhelming need to care, love, and support your significant other? Have you ever felt it? Your blood boiling at the thought something could happen to him.  I am His and he is mine. I am his protector and he protects me. We are two sides of the same coin, with a shared ambition and a shared love for each other."

Doya: I love you

"Love is the most powerful spell there is. A spell that is so powerful that it is said to be able to protect the loved one from death. In truth, Love cannot prevent you from dying. No matter how much I want it. Love can't protect you from everything, no matter how much I want to protect you. 

Love... I never thought that I could ever fall in love again. Years ago, I believed that my life would end once the Asanbosam was killed. I was reckless, and I felt that I couldn't be loved or understood. I felt lonely, vindictive, and empty. But I met you and you, Dean. I met you and my whole life took a turn I didn't anticipate.  I fell in love. I fell in love with you, with the life that you and I built together. I fell in love with our family. I fell in love with our lives. 

I grew as a person by your side. I became comfortable as a woman, as a hunter, as a friend, and as a lover. I became comfortable with my scars. I became comfortable with our routine, our little rituals, and the little things we do for each other. you're part of my life, Dean,  now and forever. you're part of my life and I cannot imagine it without you.  I love you and our life together. I love you, so much...so..much."

GoT short: Don't let me fool you

 "Don't let the smile fool you. Don't let my strength convince you that I do not need to be comforted. Do not let my ability to endure a lot of pain, blind you from the truth. The truth is that I am afraid. The truth is that I am sometimes exhausted. The truth is, I need to be held in your arms. I need to feel safe. I need... I need you.

I guess I never really wanted to admit it before, but the truth is that there are days when I do not want to be the Dragon Princess anymore. There are days when I don't want to carry the world on my shoulders and pretend that I am fine or strong or anything that would deprive me of your comfort. I am afraid. I am worried. I am exhausted, that is the truth.

Don't let my joy mask the truth from your eyes. Don't let my voice fool you into thinking I am in control. Don't let my words convince you that I can endure this life without you. I can't. I love you. I love you and I want to scream it at the top of my lungs. I want to tell you the words in the warm confines of our bedroom. I want to lace my fingers with yours just so you could feel my heartbeats go harder. I am hopelessly in love with you and I am afraid it would come to an end someday.

So please.... please... Don't let me fool you into thinking I can do this without you. Please, please, hold me in your arms and tell me you love me too."

A vintage's touch: Another man

 // This is a little snippet I couldn't take off of my mind. It's just something

xxxxxx

Cerulean eyes set upon Mary as she rushed into his office. She heard about the commotion that took place hours ago and how restless Tommy had been ever since. Lizzie had tried to calm him but he refused to listen to her.  She reluctantly called for Mary to come to the office in order to calm Tommy and waited in the office. She smoked and felt relieved when the nurse came to the office. Polly usually got a good response from the man but she wasn't in the office. Lizzie had burned the bridge that linked each other when she slapped Mary out of frustration and Jealousy, so he wouldn't listen to her. Mary however, he listened to her. He let her get closer to him. The nurse thanked Lizzie upon arriving and rushed to Tommy's office where he was walking in cycle, a cigarette in hand. She sighed and removed her coat she put on the chair.  Tommy saw her, but didn't move from his spot. He observed the young woman. He watched as she quickly closed the distance between the two of them. 

"Are you hurt?" -She asked, her eyes studying his face to notice the slightest change. Mary couldn't do otherwise, she was a trained nurse, she had to look after the people she cared about. Tommy knew and let her do but he remained silent.- "Tom..."

Mary noticed the scratches, the coldness of his hands which meant that he recently washed them clean. She noticed the cuts on his fingers and the slight slump on his chest. A bruise maybe. She would have to take a better look when they would be alone in their room. By the looks of it, Tommy had a fight. He dismissed her concern and went to fetch himself a glass of whiskey. Mary furrowed her brows and walked towards the chair in front of his desk. She sat there and crossed her legs. Tommy followed her with his intense gaze. He knew all too well why she was there. Lizzie had called her in, in order to calm him down. She did right. The sight of Mary softened his features. 

"Come... Have a seat and tell me what happened."

"You wouldn't like it." -He protested but still complied to her request.- 

As he sat down, he put both arms on his lap and lowered his head. HOw could he look at this woman, this kind and innocent woman and tell her that he had killed a man? How could he confess that he had to do so because Alfie told him that she wasn't safe because some right-wingers had noticed she was the nurse of the Grace Shelby Institute and they were planning an attack on the woman. Their main goal was to kill her but if she ended up wounded and disabled, then they would have been happy. Alfie had been kind enough to share the information because he knew how important Mary was to Tommy. While many couldn't read the man, plenty have realized that he was, indeed, in love with this woman and would not take it kindly if someone ever threatened her, spoke ill of her, let alone uttered racial slurs at her. 

The Peaky Blinders paid a visit to the group. They advised them to stay clear from the Grace Shelby Institute and not to bring their hatred to their turfs. They played it nicely, pretended to be on the same page as the Peakys but deep down, they were working towards hurting Mary and anyone who would try and protect her. It didn't take long for Arthur to discover they were planning to attack in a few nights, Mary, first choosing to bomb the place but then switching plan to something that would only hurt the woman. A kidnapping and some torture. Who was she anyway? Who would miss her, right? The Peakys managed to break the minds of the would-be murderers  and beat them so badly they would always remember why they found themselves in such a situation. They let them go, all but the leader. Tommy had to know if there were more who were after Mary, so he started to talk to him, he was the one who threatened and broke this man's face. He was the one who let him know he was nothing but scum in this world.  Once he was sure that they were the only group after Mary, he was let go. 

This should have been his chance to live, but he chose violence instead. He chose to try and shoot at Tommy. Arthur was too far to intervene, Tommy managed to avoid the bullet, but that was enough to make him see red. his head went hot white and a shoot out started between the two men.  Quickly enough, Tommy managed to hit him in the chest. He walked closer to the man and shot him in the face, ensuring his death. That had traumatized him. The ambush, the shootout, the death. That had brought back memories of the war and he had not been able to calm down ever since. Instead, his hands were shaking. His face was parched, his features were tense. Mary noticed the unfocused gaze and then his hands. 

"Try me." -She whispered, pushing her chair closer to him-

"I got the shivers. I killed a man today. I didn't want to.  I didn't want to, but I ended up killing him. I've got shivers...i've got..."

"It's okay. It's okay...I'm here." -She gently interlaced her fingers with his and kneeled in front of him. She pressed her lips to his shaky hands and  slowly cupped his cheek. He felt her warmth and that slowly brought him back to the moment, to her.- "I'm here, Tommy. What you did, whatever you did, I know you did it for something good." -She stroked his cheek gently and pressed her lips to the back of his hand. "You didn't have a choice, they were trying to kill you." -She repeated. her warm cheek pressed to his colder skin."I am so sorry it came to it. Tommy...I'm sorry you had to do it again. I'm sorry you had to remember." 

She then stood up slowly, catching his attention so he would look at her again. Warmth. He felt warmth in his heart. Mary's gentleness felt like forgiveness. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she gently wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her fingers through the thick black locks of his head. In the darkness he found his light. He found her, bright and warm in a way he had never seen a person be. Tommy was able to find some peace with Grace, but somehow he had always kept her away from his heart and the truth of his actions. He had never felt comfortable like he did tonight. He had never felt like he  could be fully himself, with a woman who knew everything about him and was still standing with him. He held her as tight as he could, making sure that she would not leave and they stayed like this in silence, until Tommy was ready to leave his office and come home. 

-TBC-

Klasma: third encounter with Elijah

 // Because they keep on running into each other. This time, maybe they'll be able to hold a conversation.

xx

Mary's eyes grew wide open as she felt the familiar supernatural presence enter her shop. She was at the store's reserve, looking for the ingredients that would serve in her new unguent when she felt Elijah's presence. Her golden eyes shifted from left to right as she was wondering how she could react to his visit. The last two had not ended well, with her lashing out at the Original and him being his usual stiff vampire self. She moistened her lips and put her hand on the wall in front of her. She couldn't end all of their interactions the same way. Elijah would always return and she couldn't bring Elena's gang's attention to her. Damon had already come to her twice and he discovered her true nature almost by accident. It was already difficult to keep people at a distance, it would become even more difficult to deal with a vampire, and one of the worst of them at that. 

Mary was petrified. She didn't want to see  Elijah because she knew their conversation would always hurt her. He did apologize for his shortcomings and wished to rekindle his relationship with the witch. Was it the reason that led him to her shop again? Mary wasn't sure. Her eyes shifted from left to right and she put her warm palm around her lips. She felt him enter the reserve but didn't flinch as he closed the distance between the two of them. A flick of her wrist closed the door behind him but she didn't turn around to face him. Tension arose and the witch became stiff. Elijah cleared his throat and  adjusted his necktie. Mary tilted her head to the side, her heavy pink locks fell onto her chest and her fingers fidgeted with her dress.

"Mary..." -He tried to move closer but she shook her head-

"Don't... please. Don't come closer." -She pleaded with him, still not looking at her old friend.- "Just say your piece.and leave."

"Are you still angry at me?" -He asked with a softer tone. She shook her head and ran her hand over her arm-

"I am not mad anymore. You realized the pain you caused me. I have made my peace with the past."

"Have you? Mary..." -She shushed him by lifting a finger up. She didn't want to dwell on their past, not after it took her so long to move forward. Elijah did admit his wrongs. Mary didn't want to be hurt again and she didn't want to open fresh scars.- "mmhh."

"I am not mad at you, however it still hurts me to see you. So, I'll ask you a question: What do you need this time?"

That hurt. Elijah bit his inner cheek and put his fingers on his chin. He hated the feeling it gave him. The Witch didn't see a friend in him anymore, however, she repeated back to his face his old behaviour. He shouldn't feel guilty, perhaps he wasn't even feeling guilty, but the Original didn't like his image. He didn't like to see his mistakes nor the disdain in the way she spoke to him. yet, once again, she was right. He came to her because he needed her help but asking for it now felt.. wrong. 

"I just need to talk to you. I did have something I wanted to request from you but now that I see you again? I just want to talk."

"We've never talked before. I am not sure you're interested in talking to me, Elijah." -She sonded resigned. Mary sighed and held her arms together.- "Elijah, listen. I know you're worried about Klaus and so am I. Yet, I trust that if he needed help, I would have felt it. What happened between Klaus and I is only for us. However, I can tell you that we are close and I have his best interest at heart."

"I believe you. I know you're not going to hurt my brother. I never thought you would. I --- I wanted to warn you about him. I wanted to let you know that he could hurt you, even if he doesn't mean to. It's not my place to try and tell you what you do."- She turned around to look at him and crossed her arms above her chest.-

"I know who he is. I know him, Elijah, far more than you think I do. I am not expecting something impossible from him. I know who he is." -She furrowed her brows and rubbed her arms a little harder- "You didn't possibly come all this way just to warn me about your brother." -He shook his head- "You didn't come here to apologize again." -He nodded.- "Then... why are you here?"

"I wanted to ask you for dinner. I wanted to have a chance to make things right. Is it... something you'd like to do?"

She nodded and put her hand over her chest. Elijah gave her a faint smile and quietly walked away from her shop. She was giving her a chance to make things right and that was warming his heart. Perhaps, something good could come out of it. Perhaps, a friendship. A real one. 

-TBC-

got Regular: Yearning

 // It's a little hawt, sorry, not sorry. 

xxxx

The Red Keep, past noon. 

The princess had been debating with herself whether or not she should leave her bedroom. She had wanted to welcome Jaime Lannister after all those weeks spent apart from each other. She knew that if she knocked at the door and if he let her in, she would never be able to leave his room. She gasped softly, as the face of Jaime crossed her thoughts. She focused on his smile, the one that always dissolved her resolve. She couldn't help but daydream about his smile, an endearing smile, a charming smile that sent a shiver down her spine.  She always started by imagining his smile, then what his mouth could do to her. It always gave her goosebumps, to imagine Jaime nibbling on her neck. She could feel her lips tremble at the sensation of his lips pressed against the sensitive skin of her collarbone, her belly, and her inner thighs.  the thought made her moan softly and put her warm palm against the door. 

The princess and the Golden Lion had only shared a kiss. They had never gone further, not even when they were sleeping on the same bed together. Jaime wanted to do things properly, he wanted to earn the right to be with the princess and do anything in his power, so it wouldn't happen. They wouldn't consummate their love, which was leaving Bäahal yearning for his touch. The princess admitted to herself that sometimes, she imagined him in between her legs, putting his mouth to work the best way he could. She imagined he would want her to be ready for him. He would want to have a state of her and to make it happen, he would lick her sensitive folds, tease her sensitive button and praise her. his voice would rumble and send vibrations through her skin, and she would moan again.

Bäahal had always hated sex. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't given the opportunity to appreciate it. All the men in her life had always taken all they wanted from her, regardless of what she wanted or desired. They took and left her on her own, wrapped in her own shame and disgust. She learned to make it less painful, to tame and retain control of her body and what she wanted to take and do. Bäahal had always hated it and she found relief as soon as she set herself free. She had hated it until she met with Jaime.  Since their first kiss, the woman couldn't stop thinking about him. She could feel her blood boiling whenever she thought of him. She wanted it from Jaime. She craved it from Jaime. She craved him. 

The princess pinched her lips together and tried to stop herself from panting. How could she? When Jaime was so close to her? She knew that if she opened her door and went to his, she would want to feel more than his mouth. She would want to see his emerald eyes focused on her face as he would slide his fingers inside her. she could hear his groans and moans. She could feel the strong and calloused digits of his tease the soft and wet walls. She wanted him to marvel at her taste. She wanted to hear his praises, his desire, oh she wanted to hear him claim his love for her and his desire to fill her with it. Jaime would drive her to her climax, something she had managed to discover by herself. He would make her hunger for him get stronger, so much so that his fingers would not be enough. 

His fingers would never be enough just like hers couldn't satisfy her anymore. The princess had tried. She had tried so many nights to no avail. Just now her fingers were glistening with her juices, her impatient love juices. She had wanted to get rid of the tension that grew from the moment she saw him return from his mission. It failed because instead of calming her desires, it only fanned the flames of Eros. She had never seen Jaime naked, but by the seven gods, had she wished she did. She could only let her imagination run wild, replace herself with his length, try and imagine with what she had experienced before, how it could be turned into pleasure. She wanted to hold his cheeks with both of her hands and stare at him as he would claim her body. She wanted to kiss his skin, no matter where just to let him know how much she loved him. She wanted to run her fingers through his blonde locks and massage his scalp while he would make her his. 

Was she greedy? Was she able to stop thinking about it? Bäahal wasn't sure she could nor that she wanted. She knew that exciting her imagination would make it difficult for her to stop, but it was way too late now. It had been years. It had been years since they first met and passion was overwhelming her. She groaned, hitting her door as she wanted to stop herself from opening the door but Bäahal had to admit that she couldn't. She had to open the door. She had to see him. Daenerys be damned. Punishment be damned. She was craving Jaime and she didn't want to wait any longer. She had to see him. She had to see him. So she opened the door and crossed the hall until she found Jaime's door. A soft knock on the door followed by the following sentence. 

"Jaime. Jaime, open the door. "

-TBC-

got modern: Are you ready?

 // Just a little moment between Bäahal and herself. is she ready for public attention? 

xxxx

Bäahal was lying on the bed, her face staring at her bedroom ceiling. Just moments ago she had been with Jaime Lannister, all cuddled up on his couch so they could watch a movie together. the moment was soft, warm, and desperately needed for the two of them. Jaime was dealing with Cersei's marital issues -mostly just listening to her and giving her some piece of advice- and he had to deal with even more business meetings since it was nearly the end of the fiscal year.  Bäahal, on the other hand, had to deal with a very nasty relative who had tried to destroy her family's reputation and the legacy of her father. For the first time in a long while, the three siblings managed to get along together but the rumors that went on, especially about Bäahal, ended up hurting the young woman. So she found herself needing comfort. Jaime had obliged her and had welcomed the young woman in his arms for the weekend. 

Jaime Lannister...It became clear that Bäahal had been longing for the two of them to come clean and be out in public. She slowly started to get impatient to take him out to dinner, or to any of her dance competitions. She wanted to share her life, without thinking twice about what she could do and what she couldn't do. Bäahal ran her hands through her silver locks and closed her eyes. Jaime was... Jaime had a violent streak she had not suspected he had. She already went through a very jealous Jaime, who didn't like the fact Bronn called him to tell all of his raunchy thoughts about the heiress. He had stopped talking to her and waited until a couple weeks to answer her text.  That already hurt. The Lannister had a sharp tongue too, one she couldn't forget about because his words cut deeply.

That was okay. She could handle him. What she had not anticipated, however, was Jaime's potential for violence. After she narrowly escaped an assault at a party, Jaime decided to beat the senses back into that man. He went to see him a couple days after. The conversation turned into confrontation and Jaime came back with his fists soaked in blood and blood stains on his shirt. Bäahal was horrified, mostly because she realized how hot-headed Jaime was and how he could get into trouble because he acted before thinking. He could have gotten injured, maybe something worse but more than anything, the level of anger he unleashed that day had been unheard of. 

She was scared, for a while. Memories of her own abuse at the hands of her brother came back. She remembered when he would lash out at her and beat the living crap out of her and flashes of her own blood on his fists, on the floor, on her clothes came back. Could Jaime be violent with her? Could he lose his temper one day and hit her like he did that man? Jaime realized that she was scared, both for him and because of him, so he quickly tried to reassure her. He had washed his arms, changed his clothes, and cleaned his face. he had talked to her, most of the night just so she could see that he wouldn't hurt her. He lost his temper, yes, he lost it because someone had tried to hurt her and he wasn't there to protect her. He loved her, and because he did, he had to make sure that this creep would never hurt her again.  

That was okay. She could work with it. Jaime was a hothead. He was impulsive, but he was loving. He cared for her. He loved her and she found comfort in knowing that. She loved him too and she didn't mind this personality trait. After all, weren't they all flawed individuals? He didn't kill that man and he wasn't out for blood, so she was alright. She bit her bottom lip and ran her hands over her face. She wanted Jaime. She loved him with all of her heart and she felt she was ready to go public with him. At least, in her heart. He asked her to keep things for themselves for the time being because Tywin wouldn't let up. He wouldn't approve of this relationship nor would Daenerys and Viserys approve of it. Maybe it was a good thing to keep to themselves for the time being. 

Maybe...

-TBC-

Doya: Sam and Oya: Comfort

/// I miss these two idiots. So here you are, some siblings' shenanigans. 

xxx

Sam was busy reading one of Oya's spellbooks. He had taken a liking to discover new cultures and since he was not well-versed in African spells and teratology, he wanted to learn. He looked at his phone and noticed that he had received a lovely text from Eilein, his girlfriend -could they even consider each other as such?-. He couldn't help but smile upon reading her name and did not notice Oya who snuck up on him and sat on the couch he was laying at. He groaned as the young woman pulled the book off of his hands and rolled his eyes as she gave him a sheepish look. 

"What are you doing, Gremlin?" -She gently ran her hand over his arm.- "What??"

"I'm bothering you. Bookworm." -She giggled before her hazel eyes set upon the phone.- "Is that Eileen? Did she text you? Would you see her soon?"

"Oya. You're asking way too many questions." -She shrugged and crossed her arms above her chest. - "Don't sulk, please."

"I'm not sulking. I haven't seen you in a while so I was curious, Sammy." -She said, smiling warmly. The book was closed and put on her lap for the time being. - "I see you've been reading my spellbook. Anything nice in there?"

"You know I love learning new spells. There is plenty to learn here." -He smiled at her and gently patted her back.- "It's true we haven't seen each other in a while. I know you're busy working with my brother."

"That doesn't mean I can't have time for you, Sam. I have missed you. I have missed spending time with you and Castiel at the bunker."

"Work never stops, now, does it?" -He asked but it was a rhetorical question. There were always monsters to stop, demons and angels to stop, and sometimes humans as well. Earth was their playground and hunters were doing their best to save as many souls as they could. Oya shook her head and sucked on her bottom lip.- "O. Can I ask you a question?" -She nodded- "Okay... I just... I wanted to... How do you deal with hunting with Dean? Aren't you scared that something might happen to him?"

The question had the hunter freeze. She blinked several times and chewed at her bottom lip. As a matter of fact, Oya had been paranoid about losing Dean. She knew she would do anything to protect him and the rest of the family with all she had. So far, she had been the one who nearly died, twice and they always came to her rescue. Yet, Dean was known for striking deals with demons, pairing himself up with backstabbing bitches who would not hesitate to manipulate his desire to save his family and the world and use it against Dean. So, Oya took it upon herself to watch him, guide him, and comfort him when they were hunting together.  The young woman put her hand over her heart, feeling it beat faster than usual and she sighed deeply.

"I am always scared, Sammy. I've never realized how scared of losing him I was until I was attacked by Pluto."

"What makes you...keep hunting with him then?"

"Can the world exist without the sun?" -She replied with a grin and patted her heart with her warm palm.- "We both take the risk to die every single day when we step out of the bunker to work on a case. Death is part of Life and we cannot avoid it. We just have to live. I want to have as many memories as I can with him and I want him to have as many memories with me as possible. I want us to live, Sammy and I know that you want Eileen to live as well." -She gently smiled at him and leaned her cheek against her shoulders as she looked at the younger Winchester-

Sam blushed hard but shrugged as he looked at his phone. Oya had caught him red-handed. Of course, he was seeing Eileen but both were considering whether or not they should take their relationship to another level, and make it a serious one. Sam had lost a lot of people in his life, especially the ones he loved. Could he really take the risk to lose yet another lover? He loved Eileen and it seemed to be something far more intense and far more serious than his previous relationship. They were both kind souls who wanted to save as many people as possible. They had been through a lot, in ways that only Eileen could understand. Of course, she did not know about his time in Hell, the whole "true vessel of Lucifer" story but she knew how it felt to be different. She could relate to him in ways very few could. Besides, she was very appreciated by his brother and Oya almost gave her blessings to Sam. So what was holding him back? 

"I don't think I could handle losing someone else. O. It's been difficult when we thought we were losing you. I don't think I could." -She cupped his cheek and stroked it gently. his eyes grew wide but he leaned into her touch. "O..."

"You will always care for her like you will always care for us. Whether you hunt with her or not, you will always worry for her. So that argument is a little moot, don't you think?" -He sighed but didn't reply- "Besides...I told you that I want us to live. Sam, you've been denying yourself the right to be happy for far too long. After all, you've been through, don't you think that it would be good for you to be loved and to have someone to love? Eileen is a good person, and you are a good person... Dean and I both love her so... what's holding you back?"

"I don't know. I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to lose her. I... I want to protect her but she can handle herself very well, so...I don't..."

"You can have her back. That's what you do. You have her back like Dean has mine. He trusts me. He believes in me and more importantly, we look after each other. The same fear that Dean carries in his heart, I carry with me, so of course, I would always be careful when he's around. There is... something I can't quite describe when you live and work with someone who does the same job as you. It's freeing, Sammy. It's freeing to be with someone who can understand you. Don't run away from Love. Don't...run away from Life." -She repeated while she stroked his cheek with her thumb one last time before she removed her hand and put it back on her lap-

Sam listened to her words and strangely enough, found comfort in them. Oya was right. They had to live their lives. As the younger Winchester was considering Oya's words, he realized that he had been sacrificing himself most of his life. He didn't have a normal childhood, and he couldn't have normal relationships because the women he loved ended up dying. Sam wanted to have a family. He wanted to find a companion who could understand and respect his line of work, someone who would know what it was to be devoted to the work and who wouldn't ask him to choose between a white-picket-fenced life and the life of a hunter. He smiled at Oya and gave her his most sheepish smile. 

"You're right. I will write back to her. She's been asking me to hunt with her but I have always pushed it back. I really want it to work, you know? I want to have what you and Dean have. I've never seen my brother happy like this before and yet since he's met you, he is himself. Since he met you... He is happy. I want the same." -She nodded and crossed her legs together.-

"You deserve this and even more, Sammy.... remember, you're never alone and if you need support, you can always text me or give me a call." -She grinned widely and giggled.- "I can't believe I've just suggested becoming your wingman, but I totally wanna be your wingman now."

"Get outta there!" -Sammy was now red, blushing hard as the prospect of having a wingman, especially Oya was making him feel like a teenager again. "I know how to flirt. but.... I'll make sure to talk to you if I need anything. I promise."

Oya smiled at him and gently nestled on the couch next to him. She opened the spellbook and pointed at her favorite spell. They talked about magic for a while, then she encouraged him to write to Eileen before the hunter fell asleep next to Sam. He looked at her as her breathing became steady and her features relaxed.  She really was cute when she was sleeping. He called Dean to come and pick up his girl because he couldn't move from the couch and then resumed reading the book. The conversation they just had made Sam feel warm inside. Oya never let up. It was only fair for him to expect her to keep pushing until he was convinced to text that woman. He couldn't be mad at Oya, he just couldn't.

-TBC-

GoT: The heiress and the playboy

The heiress had been thinking about her relationship with Jaime. She knew that if she asked, he would go public. He would not hesitate to claim his love for her and call her his girlfriend. However, she was still trying to figure out if she was ready. 

She loved everything about him but there was a side of him that she had not completely grasped. Jaime was impulsive, which sometimes could make him do violently stupid things. he did punch into a pulp the man who tried to assault her. She saw him with his fists soaked with blood. And he scared her that night. 

He scared her because she knew he could get hurt or kill someone.  Was she ready to put him in a situation where he would act impulsively? Was she ready to put him in danger? Why was she seeing this situation like this? like she was the issue?

Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life and Death of Ayasha: Builder

Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life and Death of Ayasha: Builder

// She's talking to me, so I'm letting her speak.

Ayasha fell to her knees. She was sweating profusely as the heat in the forge was intense. her blonde locks were stuck on her face and her back and big drops of sweat fell onto her fists. Her green eyes were glowing brightly as she was excited about the weapon she'd just built. It was a golden whip, infused with her essence, a weapon capable of killing another god. It took the Goddess of knowledge some time to come up with the right technic and the right spell to ensure her weapon would be able to defeat Sins and Gods alike and to ensure that only she could wield it. Upon seeing the perfection that her whip was, the goddess broke down into laughter that turned into sobs and tears. Could it be it? the solution she was so eager to find? Could it be it? The weapon she needed to kill her sister and unmake the sin? Her lips trembled and she ran her hand through her luscious blonde hair.  It was about time! 

It was about time! Ayasha had nearly lost her mind since the death of Leviathan. It had been impossible for her to locate her sister and her plan to destroy the relationship between the sin and her sister failed. Besides, her relationship with Ishtar worsened to the point that she feared he might kill her in a fit of rage. She was faced with something new, Ayasha didn't know what to do and it was the first time she had ever felt like this. Her first reaction had been to lock herself up in her room, for fear of receiving the visit of a black butterfly. It didn't come and the goddess of knowledge was forced to regain her composure. She still had a possibility to win the war against her sister. Ayasha couldn't accept that she had Hope in her heart. She couldn't accept that even then and there,  her sister still had some influence over her. Ayasha's tears fell on the hot floor of the forge and she wiped them with the back of her hand. 

There was a lot left to do. A whip would not be enough to face the threat that her sister and her beloved, both were. She would need to have armor, something solid and strong to contain the rage of her assailants. She would need something powerful enough to destroy her enemies. Spells, perhaps, to bind the goddess to her will. Ayasha was hopeful. It wasn't her end. She wasn't going to die. There was a chance that she could turn the tides in her favor. Gaea refused to join them, despite her best efforts, but that wouldn't deter Ayasha from trying to force the All-Mother to join their sides. She would find the solution to her issue. She always came up with solutions after the wall. Her dream of ruling over the universe wasn't going to disappear, not when she was so close to her goal.  The golden-haired goddess found comfort in knowledge. Hope dried her tears and made her look forward. There was no other choice but to move on. 

-TBC-

Trivia and Headcanon: Mary edition

•  Mary is currently 30 years old.

• Colby is the name of her ship with Tommy (but nobody calls them that). 

• Mary would always check on Tommy's wounds. Her, looking at his cuts and bruises, patching him up, making sure all is alright is her love language.

• Mary takes care of and raises Charlie. They live together with Tommy at Arrow House.

• She started to sleep in his bedroom on her 30th birthday.

• She is loyal to Tommy. Do not try to seduce her, do not try to trash Tommy in front of her or make her believe that he is cheating on her. 

• She is going to be the head nurse of the Grace Shelby Institute. For now, she is a nurse and is taking care of orphans.

• Her mother is White British and her father was Black Jamaican. He died during the first world war and her mother dumped Mary at an orphanage.

• She used to be abused by the racist nurses of the Orphanage she was dumped at. She still carries the whips and belts scars on her back. 

• Mary has two beauty spots, one above her lip and the other under her left eye. 

• She calls Tommy her "Black Stallion"

• Mary has brown skin, with green eyes. (inherited from her mother)

• Mary used to be a singer. She met the Peaky Blinders when she requested to become a singer at the Garrison Pub. 

• Everyone (including Tommy) knows that Mary is in love with Tommy. Nobody knows when it started, but it was sometime before John died. 

• She learned how to ride horses, so she could take care of the one at Arrow House, spend time with Uncle Charlie and Curly, and spend even more time with Tommy, doing something he loves. 

• She is a very stubborn woman. Her determination is so intense that she never gives up and it takes a lot to make her change her mind. Especially if someone she loves is sick or injured.

• She just wants to take care of those she loves. Mary doesn't think she is loveable given the years of abuse at the hands of the nurses of her orphanage and her husband. Yet, she still wants to give her love to those who'd want it. 

• Mary doesn't believe Tommy can ever love her. She thinks he's not over Grace's death yet and thinks he would want to replace her for his son. He hasn't shown her yet that he cared for her "like that". Besides, the fact he could very much have sex with someone else is putting her off. who would cheat on someone they claim to love? Lizzie really messed things up for them (but Tommy did too, by sleeping with Lizzie)

• Mary doesn’t want to die. She doesn’t want any of the people she loves, to die. She isn’t a suicidal character. However, people around her tend to die and she’s very worried about it. She lost her child at birth; she lost her husband to murder, and she doesn’t want to lose Tommy (and the rest of his family). John’s death truly hurt her, and she hasn’t recovered from it just yet.

• Mary has never been in love until she met Tommy. She had never been loved before, not by her mother (her father never knew about her, before the war), she had lost her son and the nuns whipped her to blood. Her husband never loved her, and he never protected her, never showed her comfort, love, and sweetness. She only saw her value as someone who could be used, or valuable. With Tommy and his family, she’s feeling something different. She discovered what True love was and her strong desire to be loyal, caring, loving, and nurturing to the man she loved. He treats her differently and she now has someone who cares for her. With Tommy, she can see a second chance at being happy, with someone who truly loves her and who considers her family. It’s something she’s never had before, and she considers it very precious. Tommy is her everything and he would get sides of her that nobody else knows. He would be loved in ways he’d never before. He is her everything and his happiness is her main goal.

• Mary doesn’t really show her anger with words. However, when she is angry, she will give you the silent treatment, the angry/ shocked gaze full of judgment, and would put some distance between you and her. (I.e; physically she’d take steps back. Or she’d call you by your last name.

• Mary drinks. She had sex and alcohol to cope with the pain of being a teenage bride, a teenage mother of a dead child. She usually copes by taking care of others.

• She tends to become silent and shoot a very intense look at the person she's upset with.  She also tends to drink her way out of sorrow. She also likes to curse Tommy when he's making her feel good.

• Mary is a curvy young woman. She hasn't really lost the curves she gained when she became a mother and doesn't want to lose them. She loves those curves.

• Mary's only child, Paul, died after living for 30 minutes.  It devastated her. 

• Michael is obsessed with Mary. Long before he met Gina he fell in love with Mary but she rejected him due to her own feelings for Tommy. He never forgot about her, and even thought about her while fucking his wife. Michael no longer wants to wed Mary, but he wants to take her away from Tommy (who is the root of all of his issues, according to Michael)

• He sent an old friend of his Archibald "Archer" Worthington III after Mary, in a gambit that would see Tommy lose his most prolific business and have him lose the woman he loves in one swell swoop. 

• Mary's former husband, Carter, was a former gangster who tried to escape his former mob. He seduced and abused Mary when she was just 14 years old, put a child in her, and borrowed money for the funerals of their son without telling her. He used to be very abusive with her and put her life in danger in the following years which led her to Birmingham.  She doesn't want to live anything close to what she did with Carter and she hates the man for what he did to her.

• Mary isn't afraid of the life of a gangster, what she wants, however, is someone true to her. She wants someone who is genuine in their feelings and who would love her back. 

• She considers Polly gray like a mother. 

• She loved John like he was her brother and was devastated when he died. 

• She considers Ada her sister and Arthur her brother and cares for them accordingly.

• She is a beautiful woman and an uncanny beauty. She was very popular as the singer of the Garrison. 

• She is not afraid of Arthur's violent actions. She knows he would never hurt her. They became closer after the death of John because she was there for him when Tommy was more and more distant.

• Mary's resilient and far stronger than she is given credit for. Despite all that had happened to her, she still looks before her for a brighter future. 

• Polly and Ada both had to convince her to stay with Tommy, but while Polly tried to put her expertise on matters of the heart, Ada tried to suggest Mary let loose a little bit. 

• Her mother lives in London and for now, is having Mary watched but would, later on, try to get her killed to secure a marriage with an MP. 

• Mary loves to dance. She hasn't danced with Tommy yet, but it's a matter of time before the two of them share one.

• Tommy doesn't like the idea of someone else sweeping Mary off of her feet. Still, he doesn't really do anything to show her that he actually wants her, which is frustrating at times. Mary loves him, and he really is lucky she is not interested in looking elsewhere.

• Mary is naive. She sometimes takes at face value whatever is said to her. She also doesn't realize when someone is hitting on her and wouldn't notice when Archer would try to seduce her.

• Mary once witnessed Arthur break the faces of people who tried to hurt her. 

• Mary isn't involved in any illegitimate business. Tommy doesn't want her to know, and the rest of the family doesn't want her to know so she could be spared and protected from Police and scandals.

• However, Mary knows he's a gangster and while at times she's not happy with being kept in the dark, she still supports whatever the family wants to do. 

• Ada calls her an "honorary Shelby" as an endearing way to let her know she's family.

• Lizzie doesn't like Mary (she hates her) and she would behave antagonistically against her several times. The worst she did was slap her out of anger but given the lecture she received from Tommy afterward, she would swallow her bile and slowly but surely move on. (including treating Mary better) 

• Linda doesn't like Mary, but there again, who does Linda like? 

• Mary is very cuddly when she's sleeping next to Tommy. 

• Charlie had called Mary "Mom" once. It's something that would happen so much that he would stop trying to correct himself as soon as he grows older. 

• When Duke would appear in the story, Mary would adopt him without a second thought. 

-TBC-