Pride and Elpis: Come find me

What are you doing my love?

Are you thinking of me?

Are you thinking of us?

Do you remember when we met?

Do you remember the sparkle in my eyes?

Do you remember the passion in my voice?

And the arousal that laced my very words?

Do you remember the fear of losing you?

Do you remember the possessivity?

I do. OH. I remember everything!

What are you doing my love?

Are you looking for a way to set me free?

Are you trying to bring me back to you?

Are you going to avenge us for what they did?

Do you remember how much I love you?

Oh, I do remember, I remember everything.

I remember the clear blue eyes of yours

How anger turned them into purple hurricanes

How lust turned them purple like the sunset

How cold your body was when we were apart

How deep your voice was when you found me

I remember, Superbia, I remember.

What are you doing, my love?

I cannot wait to be free once again

I cannot wait to be able to touch you again

I cannot wait to be able to kiss you again

And make sure you are mine and mine only

That not even my vessel could keep you away

That not even the goddesses could touch you

I wouldn't let anybody lay their hands on you

For I am absolute in my love, determined even

For I am eternal in my love, devoted even

For I chose you when everything was against us

I chose you and it means something to me.

I could have turned away, ignore you, leave

I could have chosen someone else,

A better suitor, a more convenient one.

I didn't. I stood by your sides, I fought for us

I would do it all over again if I must.

I would fight for us, even if you are different.

Well, not so different from what you were before

A hardcore version, a colder version

One that would have been if I wasn't there.

I would conquer your heart, once again

Make you love me for who I became.

Yes, I am a balance of light and darkness,

Hope and Despair

Life and Death

The other side of the same coin

The Yin to your Yang

The Persephone to your Hades---- wrong choice

The daughter of Gaea who fell in love with a Sin

Elpis....Your love if you still want me

And even if you don't, I told you it's eternal

What are you doing my love?

Me?

I am waiting for you. Come find me.

Come find us

SoA: The fairy godmother

A/N: Jess being the best at what she does. I am not great at writing fun/funny scenes but I tried.

OST: « You're welcome » -Moana/Disney-

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

« Jess. I don't think he's going to pick me up.  I told him to come to your house, do you think he got my text right? He didn't text back. As a matter of fact, he didn't text me back at all!»

Asma was pacing around, clenching and unclenching her fists as she was feeling stress taking over her. Jessica was comfortably sitting on the most comfortable chair in the living room and while she didn't move a muscle, her eyes followed the stressed-out inker. It was D-Day and Jessica couldn't keep her excitement in check. She watched as her friend walked in circles and ran her hand through her wavy freshly-dyed pink locks. Her hair looked lovely, iron curled and arranged in a sweet bun to expose her gracile neck and the elegant and chiseled jaw Asma had. 

Jessica prepped Asma from the day her friend told her about the date to the final hour. She needed adventure and action and this budding romance had all the perfect ingredients for the best love story she'd ever witness save for her own. Jax came back a few days ago so Jessica thought she wouldn't be worried any longer -as if-. By the look on his face, the "business" he had to take care of was even more problematic than he let her know. It meant she would still be pulling her hair because she didn't know what would happen next. Jax would be fine, he assured her he would. He had to be, she refused to imagine raising her kids without Jax by her sides. 

"Asma, you're giving me a headache when you pace around like that." She mumbled and leaned into the chair some more. "I promise you that Tig is on his way. He wouldn't miss today."

"You sound so confident! I'm sorry about me walking like that but you know that I need to calm down. If I don't walk, then I won't be able to calm down... Please?"

"Okay but don't complain that I'm not paying attention because I'm not looking at you. It's making me dizzy to watch you spin around like that." Asma stopped and looked at Jessica with worried eyes.

"I know. I'm sorry about that but I can't seem to be able to calm down. He had not texted me yet and I don't know if he's coming anyway. Maybe he's not." She looked at all the work she's done on herself to look good and sighed deeply before she sat on the chair. "I'm terrified."

"I know you are. You have nothing to be worried about. I coached you, remember? I coached you real good." She said with a grin before she leaned into her chair. 

What Jessica didn't tell Asma, was that Tig came to her as soon as the gang came back home. He wanted to give Asma the perfect date but he didn't know her well enough to come up with the best plan. She remembered him avoiding her gaze as he talked about how he wanted that night to be awesome but he didn't know how to make it happen. Jess teased him for a while but ended up spilling the beans. Asma was very romantic, even if she didn't say so. 

She wanted to be treated to a nice restaurant for a nice dinner and have her date bring her flowers. They didn't have to be roses -sunflowers were her favorite flowers- but there had to be flowers. She wanted to be taken to a walk after they ate. A nice walk in the park so they could enjoy the fresh breeze of the night. She would want to dance, just the two of them under the artificial light of the park. She would then ask if he would want to take a coffee at her place and the rest of the night was something that didn't need to be told.

So, Tig knew he had to come over with flowers to give Asma, a nice walk after they ate and a dance in the park. That was cheesy but he didn't mind. It wasn't difficult to make happen and they would both be happy. He wasn't much of a dancer, so they would probably just sway a little bit while holding each other. He could make it happen, definitely. 

Jessica couldn't wait to see Asma's face lit up when she would see the flowers but she had to keep a poker face so the surprise would actually not be ruined. Asma kept thanking her from the moment they chose the dress, to the moment Asma started to get dressed, had her makeup done and polished her nails. She thanked her sister, calling her the fairy godmother because she truly ensured everything was alright and that Asma was psychologically ready to go on a date, except, that part still needed some more work.

"Asma. I promise you that he's coming." She actually kept getting texts from a panicked Tig who didn't know which bouquet was the prettiest and kept sending pictures to Jessica so she could help him choose the best one. Asma assumed she was talking to Jax and didn't bother to ask Jessica questions about the texts she kept getting. "He wants to see you tonight."

"Are you sure?" The tattoo artist finally sat on the chair in front of Jessica and leaned her head against it. "I would understand if he didn't want to come. He's not ready for something serious."

"And are you?" Asma shook her head. "That's what I thought. None of you is ready to start over but you're both trying."

"........................Maybe."

"Asma?! don't bail on me! Don't bail on him too! I need my budding romance and you promised to tell me all the juicy details of that night!"

"There is still time to stop it altogether and go on our merry ways." Panic had Asma speak. She was now considering that yes, Alex "Tig" Trager was actually coming to take her out on a date. she scratched the skin of her neck and rubbed it as if she was suffocating. Jessica realized that Asma was low-key having a panic attack so she shifted on her seat and outstretched her hand and gently stroked Asma's back of the hand.

"You both deserve to be happy. You know I am your fan N°1 and I want you to be happy Azzy-kin. The night would be great. He's coming and you will have a fancy dinner, a nice digestive walk and you're going to fuck like there's no tomorrow."

"You said the magic words!" Asma chuckled and pulled Jessica's hand to her lips for a gentle kiss. "I do want to get fucked hard."

"Ahahaha. .. Of course! but you do want something else too. You don't need to hide behind "sex" for me to know that what you really mean is that..." She trailed off on purpose, making Asma smile again and distracting her from her meltdown. Her hand held tighter on Asma's and she gave her a warm soft grin.

"I want Tig to hold me in his arms...I just want to wake up to him and think that everything would be alright and the day is a beautiful one. I want to wake up to him....It's been in my mind for some time. I know it's very fast and it's probably too early to know what's going on but I want that. The night we spent was beautiful but I dread getting to know him and realize that we're not meant to...be."

"It's just a dinner. It's just one step forward. Tomorrow if all went well, you'll take another step forward and see each other again. Is that better if I tell you that you don't have to run a marathon but just take it one step at a time? He's just like you, uncertain about tomorrow. I think you both owe it to yourselves to try and see if it works because if it does..." Asma was on the verge of crying, mostly because she was still riding her anxiety attack and she was grateful to have a friend like Jessica.

"If it does?"

"If it does, then I would be the happiest lady in the world because of my best friend here.." She said cupping Asma's cheek and wiping the tears off of it. "My best friend here is finally going to be loved like she deserves to be. Tig's an intense guy. He loves you or he doesn't and for having seen him fall head over heels someone, I can assure you that if he actually is into you, then he really is. He's going to treat you like royalty."

"Royalty?" Jessica nodded.

"You're our princess you know? Princess Cuddles is how the kids call you. Princess Peach is how your 'PiePie' calls you and I call you Princess Courage because you're sweet and brave."

"If I am a princess then you're my fairy godmother! I feel like Cinderella about to hit the club and---"

It rang outside and they both knew it was Tig who came a little late. Jessica squeezed Asma's hand tighter and stood up to go open the door despite Asma's protests. She chuckled when she saw Tig looking dashing in a nice tiled shirt, fitting denim jeans and leather shoes.

"Finally! She was going crazy with you not texting her." She poked his arm and cleared her throat. "ASMA? I think your ride is here!"

"I'm coming, Fairy Godmother! " Asma's voice echoed through the room as she made sure her hair looked perfect, her lips were plump and juicy and her dress looked impeccable.

-TBC-

Take a piece

Take a piece of me, a little bit each time we see each other.
Take a piece of me, strip me off of myself
Take the parts I can't stand, chew on them, devour them until there's nothing left.
Take the parts I can't stand, make them disappear so I would never have to look at them.


I feel trapped in there, even more than I used to feel before.
I thought I could claw my way out of that pit of darkness but I fooled myself
I am doomed in there, forever trying to swim back to the surface
Only to be pulled down, deeper into the pit.

What a fool I was!


Take a piece of me, a little bit each time we see each other
Take a piece of me, destroy my whole being
Take the parts I deem unworthy, those parts of me that make a failure out of me.
Take the parts I can't stand, make me forget my shame, make me forget my pain

I am suffocating in there, dying a little bit each passing day
And I don't know if I can even hope for something better.
Take a piece of me, I beg of you, take one off each time we see each other
Take a piece of me, make it stop, make it vanish, that ever-lasting pain I can't shake off.

Put an end to my misery

Le tendre

Qu'il était tendre ce grand gaillard!

La main sur le cœur et le cœur sur la main, il vous faisait fondre sur place.

Il avait un sourire qui réchauffait les cœurs, une poigne franche et un regard enjôleur.

Il aimait la vie et la vie le lui rendait bien. Du moins en apparence.

Qu'il était tendre ce grand gaillard!

Il aimait donner autours de lui, de l'amour, de l'attention en veux-tu en voilà!

Et il en avait des amis, des vrais, de très gentils et des un peu cons tout comme lui.

Ils aimaient la vie aussi, alors ils riaient très souvent tous ensembles.

Qu'il était tendre ce doux idiot!

Naïf qu'il était avec les filles, se laissant entraîner par la première venue pourvue qu'elle lui sourit.

Elles lui auront brisé le coeur et parfois malgré sa candeur il n'était pas en reste aussi.
Oui, il en avait fait souffrir car parfois l'amour ne suffit pas, mais il espérait trouver un équilibre

Il était tendre, il aimait la vie mais il se sentait bien seul, c'était vrai aussi! 

Il n'avait pas remarqué la jolie Julie.

Une tête de linotte qui égarait souvent ses affaires. Qu'elle était maladroite cette Julie!

Elle était discrète avec un petit sourire timide au coin des lèvres qu'il n'avait jamais remarqué.

Elle aimait les gens aussi, mais à petite dose. introvertie la petite Julie? Apparemment oui!

Julie, elle était secrète et très petite, c'était à peine s'il se souvenait d'elle. 

Elle avait l'air mystérieux, mais elle ne l'était pas du tout, au contraire! Julie était facile à cerner.

Elle aimait les choses carrées, la routine de tous les jours et la discrétion absolue.

Ses romances et ses peines, elle les vivait recluse, ne mettant que ses amis dans la confidence.

Alors il ne s'était pas rendu compte du rapprochement.

Car la mini-Julie, elle l'avait remarqué ce grand dadais.

Elle s'était rapprochée tout doucement, faisant en sorte de rentrer dans sa vie en toute discrétion.

Point de fanfares, point de scandales. Ils passaient du temps ensemble et sans le savoir, Changement!

En effet, de l'autre bout du canapé, elle avait finit par se rapprocher de lui, se tenant à ses côtés.

Et un soir, alors qu'ils étaient en train de se parler le soir du nouvel an.

Elle sortit du gui pour ensuite l'embrasser à pleine bouche. Sacrée  petite Julie! 

Julie la discrète, Julie la mignonne, Julie la casse-cou! Elle en a pris du risque cette soirée là.

Et pourtant son baiser, il lui a rendu, se sentant nigaud de l'avoir ignoré toutes ces années.

Qu'il était tendre ce grand gaillard! 

Le sourire aux lèvres toute la journée, une chanson dans le cœur tous les matins.

Il aimait les gens, il aimait la vie et il savait que sa jolie femme Julie aimait cela à petite dose.

Alors ils se laissaient vivre leur vie, se retrouvant dans le nid douillet qu'ils s'étaient construits.

Et jamais, ô jamais, Julie ne rejetait les bras de son mari.

Car le grand tendre qu'il était, ce géant au grand cœur, le nigaud plein d'espoir

Pouvait enfin donner à celle qu'il aimait des embrassades dignes des grands aurevoirs

Chaque jour qui pouvait se lever était un jour de plus en plein bonheur.

Malgré les nuages qui se dressaient et les orages qui s'abattait, ces murs ci étaient bien solides.

Pandora Box

I opened the Pandora Box, without really trying.
It just happened out of the blue, in the middle of a conversation.
Everything was fine, we were joking and laughing and then suddenly it wasn't.
All because I said those few words.

I opened the Pandora Box
but maybe it had to happen, it was the right time for them to hear it.
I keep telling myself that at some point, I just had to be honest, but it's just to find an excuse.
All because I said those few words.

What did I think would happen if I spoke?
Truth to be told, I expected way worse than what I had.
A little comment here, the birth of a concern there before it all vanished to nothingness
Good thing I was prepared.

I know my words would stay in their head.
It would fester and invade the back of their thoughts and they would question every word I would say
They would question everything I would do because they had a glimpse of the darkness in my head.
All because I said those few words.

I could have kept my mouth shut, that was my go-to behavior.
Unhealthy coping mechanism to the pressure of a life I don't want to live or "endure" as I would put it
I could have kept my mouth shut, but words wanted out, so I let them out.
And now they expect the worst from me. And now they are worried.

I opened the Pandora Box, maybe I've just trapped myself a little more
In an attempt to escape the misery that living in my head is, I tried to break free and come clean.
I might have broken it, the status quo, the peace of mind of my loved ones.
Or maybe I set myself free, cleaned the slate to start over once again.

I have no fucking clue. I am confused.

All that is left inside of my mind is that ever-growing panic that doesn't want to keep quiet.

I opened the Pandora Box

Why did I do this?

Pride and Elpis -Two sides of the same coin

// All usual disclaimer!//

It was a matter of time before the Sumerian Pantheon met its end. Every other pantheon knew that the Primeval gods would never allow being disrespected the way that pantheon did. It was one thing to criticize the elder gods and another to threaten to take their place. Most knew that without the primeval god Chaos, they would not have existed. And while Chaos was content with ensuring the creation and destruction of whole universes, he was starting to feel irritated at the constant defiance of the Sumerian Pantheon. Every other god knew that they were to be slaughtered but nobody expected it to be by the hand of the goddess of Hope: Elpis. 

She was known as the youngest goddess born from Chaos and Gaea. She was known to be as beautiful as she was sweet and innocent and was coveted by many gods, especially the gods of war from another pantheon for the decisive rôle she played in their duty. Her power fueled the heart of mortals who waged wars in their names over the millennia. She induced hope in the heart of people and other gods and was pivotal during the wars that broke between pantheons. She was known for her pure beauty that only matched the kindness of her soul and the softness of her actions, when out of the battlefield. Elpis did comfort thousands of gods from different pantheons. She was kind and sweet, not a threat in the least, at least up until she met Pride.

Pride changed everything inside of her. She was introduced to pure darkness, pure « evil » as they called it. While she softened his edges and he hardened hers. Over the millennia spent together, she quickly felt the attraction towards darkness she had, grow stronger to the point of subtly revealing the darkness within her. Like everything, there was a good and a bad side and the darker side of Hope was Despair. Just like he discovered within himself, a « softer » side that actually cared for someone else but himself, she discovered a « darker » side of her that actually destroyed rather than created. And he witnessed it in its full glory. Elpis came to their secret spot on Earth where she built a bed made of wood, flowers, grass, and plants that made it a comfortable resting place. He was baring his back at her, interested in the raw beauty of this virgin place where no man had ever set foot.

He recognized her aura but it was tainted with darkness. As a matter of fact, he couldn't find the kindness that used to define Elpis. Nothing but bloodthirst was pervading the air. He turned on his heels to face her and lifted a brow at the sight before him. She came straight from the ruins of the Sumerian pantheon and didn't even think of cleaning herself. He saw the blood-soaked Axe she was holding drop onto the floor and soil the flowers that were at her feet. He didn't flinch for he was awestruck by the vision before him. Her hair was disheveled and soaked with the blood he knew wasn't hers. Her white floral togas she usually wore was turned crimson because of the blood and the brains and viscera that splattered the fabric. Her arms were soaked with blood and he noticed she was holding a huge heart in the hand that wasn't holding the ax. Her eyes were pools of golden light and her face was remarkably untouched by the blood. She looked beautiful, probably the most beautiful he'd ever seen her so far. How could she not?

She reeked of death and destruction and the satisfaction of being the one responsible for it. She was powerful and he could feel the levels of her power spread over their paradise but he knew it was confined within the limits their combined magic traced. Nobody would ever feel the amount of energy or find them because the sin and the goddess made sure to keep this place out of reach for Ayasha. Nobody but them knew of its existence and could feel each other. Elpis was breathing erratically and he picked up anger, excitement, and adrenaline slowly dropping as she was regaining her consciousness. He could tell she entered a blind rage and given the energy of the heart that was still beating in her hands, Pride understood she slaughtered the Sumerian Pantheon. That energy signature was very unique to their All-fathers so he knew. And she knew he did and grinned ever more widely as he seemed to be approving of it.  She closed her eyes and trapped the heart in a magical metal box she sent back to her chambers at the Primeval gods' pantheon and then looked at her lover with eyes wide open.


Pride was curious but not shocked. If anything, seeing her in all of her murderous glory made her even look more beautiful to him than he expected. The goddess was perfect the way she presented herself. Her aura was deliciously Maleficent, the blood-soaked fabric that clung to her curvaceous frame was even more attractive and the sinister grin she had on her lips achieved to turn the sin on. He walked closer to her frame, his face betraying the questions he wanted to ask and she simply let out an ominous chuckle, as if to confirm what he already knew. Yes, Elpis had just killed. She had slaughtered an entire pantheon all by herself and he could feel the dying souls following her, tormented by the horrifying deaths they'd just experienced. He grinned and pressed his lips against her plump ones and stroked her cheek. She put both of her blood-soaked hands on his cheeks and looked up at his face with a grin. The sin's hands wrapped around her waist and he pulled her closer to his frame. Her hands ran through his hair, she stained with blood and he gently swayed her, to a rhythm that only he knew.

"Behold, the Elder Goddess of Despair." She whispered to his ear. Pride held her tighter and kissed her lips. "The Sumerian pantheon is no more." She said with a sinister grin.

"I like the goddess of Despair. I very much like her." He said as he pressed another kiss to her lips. Elpis licked her bottom lip and pulled away enough to look at him.

"I think you would like it even more after I'm done with you." Her voice turned into a purr. He realized that she was aroused from all of her destruction. He quirked a brow and bit her bottom lip before he pulled her into a searing kiss.

-TBC-

SoA : He believed he could fly. -Tig x Asma-

// All the usual disclaimer! Let the man be infatuated! I'm probably butchering him and I'm sorry for this.//

[Hey Bella. We're done with our business. I was just giving you heads up before we hit the road. I'll call you when I'm in town so we can pick up a date for our dinner.]

Tig sent a text, but Asma wasn't near her phone for she was working on a client. He sent another one after a while, unsure about her reading the first one or not. After all, maybe she was working and he was interrupting her or maybe she wasn't and she didn't want to see him. Tig was not certain and he didn't like it. He liked to know where he was going in terms of relationships no matter the nature of them. He liked to think that his brothers at SAMCRO were most of the time honest with him -Even though he knew secrets were a common thing among all members of the crew- He liked to think he trusted them enough to put his life in line to protect them. Aside from the occasional snitch and backstabber, the group was pretty tight. Since Jessica arrived, they were able to clear the ranks of SAMCRO and get rid of the bad apples. In business, family or love, Tig loved to know what things were exactly. Well... he liked to think he did.

With Asma, he was swimming in troubled waters and was unable to predict her next move. She was a broken ladder, someone who knew hell and went through it almost her whole life. Sure, he was used to broken birds and screwed-up. He himself was a broken ladder like Asma would put it. Both were. Both went through shit in their lives, made mistakes, had a lot to make amends for and a lot to fix and yet, he was caught up in this whirlwind that Asma was. He believed he could fly. Her pink haired caught his attention, her smile made his bulge swell-up, but it really was the way she behaved with Jess, their blooming friendship and the bits of her story he caught here and there that achieved to make him infatuated with her. No, wait. It wasn't just that. It was the night they spent together. That « Holy shit we're really fucking each other » kind of night. They went at it until the sun rose up, taking breaks in between and being affectionate towards one another. Tig felt rusty, he hadn't been this intimate with a woman in quite a while, let alone this sweet. It still gave him shivers just thinking about the moment she turned around and gave him a hug.

It was after the second romp. He went to take some water in her fridge for both of them and found her rolled under the sheets and hugging them tightly. He sat on the bed next to her feet and handed her the bottle of water so she could refresh herself. She looked at him and sat on the bed too, the sheets up to her chest. After a quick tug of her hair behind her ear and Asma grabbed the bottle and drank some water. He looked at her in silence, contemplating what he wanted to say and how he wanted to deliver it. It happened so fast that he still was trying to let it sink in. Yes! She was attractive and yes, he had his eyes on her for quite some time now. It was real, it became real and he realized that he wanted more than just sex. At this moment, she became more than a booty call. His primal urge was sated, despite them being insatiable but he didn't want to fuck her just right now. He didn't want to disappear into her wet and welcoming folds or to hear her sultry silky voice. No. He didn't know what he wanted just yet, but he would say something because he noticed she wasn't comfortable around him anymore.

« I would call you back. I'm going out of town with the club tomorrow but I would call you back and see you again. And another day after that. And another one. »

« Why are you telling me this? » She asked, confused with his words. « I thought you had what you wanted. Why would you come back? »

« I like you, that's why. » She blushed and tugged some hair behind her ear. Her body was covered with a thin layer of sweat and she didn't know if she could gather the strength to look at him straight in the eyes.

« What ? » you meant what you said? I thought it was a pick-up line. » She confessed, finally setting her hazel eyes on his blue orbs. Tig laughed and shook his head.

« No. You're not a booty call. I wouldn't have played dirty like that. You're Jess' friend. You're under the protection of the club. You're quite special you know? »

« Because I know the lady of the boss? » Asma sneered and pulled her legs up so her chin could rest on her kneecaps.

« Not just because of that, Bella. » He stepped a little closer, making her move back and hit the bed headrest.

« Bella? That's new and lame! » She said as she chuckled a little bit, feeling less tense. « Mmmhh.. Go ahead. Why would you want to see me again then? »

« You're funny, smart and cute when you're around Jessica. You're genuine and you don't have a hidden agenda. It's refreshing to see. You've changed too, for what I know, hanging out with peeps like me would have been a big no-no for you before. Look at you having sex with a biker. » He was speaking in a joking tone but she knew he was serious. It made her chuckle and she grabbed a pillow she used to hit him with.

« You just want to make me blush. »

« Are you blushing right now? » He asked, grinning at her and making her grin back. »There you go. You're smiling again. You barely smile when you're not around Jessica so I have been wondering where your smiles were hidden. » He grabbed her cheek with his large hand and stroked it with his thumb. Asma chewed at her bottom lip and looked at him with a wet gaze.

« I can't figure you out, Tig. »

« So confusion is making you smile? Gotcha ! »

« Fuck you! I'm serious. I can't figure you out. Why would you be interested in me like you pretend you are? » She wrapped her tiny hand around his wrist.

« Why not? » He retorted, forcing her to groan and scratch a little the skin of his wrist.

« Asshole! You're the one who's supposed to answer me, not ask me another question. Why are you doing this? »

« Doing what? Fucking you? Well, you're beautiful that's why. » He was messing around in order to make her laugh and release some tension. It half-worked since it pissed her off a little bit so she smacked his shoulder. It didn't hurt but he pretended it did. « Ouch violent lady! You hurt me! »

« I'm serious. Why are you doing this? Treating me like I'm a person and not a couple of holes? » She went for the vulgar comparison because she knew he would get her instantly and he did. His large hand held onto her cheek tighter.

« You deserve to be treated like one. I saw the way Elias treated you and I hated it. We weren't close back in the days so I couldn't step in. I ain't like that piece of shit Asma. » he then placed his other hand on her other cheek and looked into her eyes. He was intense, she could feel it in the air. He was almost solemn in the way he spoke which made her shiver.

« I am a recovering alcoholic. I have a limp...how could y-- »

« So what? We all have our demons. I don't know all of yours and you don't know all of mine but I want you. It's not stopping me from wanting you. »

Her eyes grew wide and she looked at him in silence for a solid minute while he still stroked her cheeks before she dropped her arms, allowing the sheets to fall on her waist and gave him a sheepish smile. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he leaned his forehead against hers.

« Fuck you and your big words. » She groaned softly while he chuckled and ran his hands through her pink curly hair.

« Fuck you too....very soon. » She rolled her eyes and held him tighter, this time holding onto Tig as if her life depended on it. « You're beautiful Asma. » She didn't say anything but held him tighter against her

Back to the present, Tig was thinking about that moment. The walls he put around her became a little shorter as she was slowly allowing him to get close to her. She hugged him, let her hands go into his hair and massaged his scalp. Silence settled for a while, allowing both of them to savor the moment and catch up their breath, up until Asma broke the silence with a cute joke about resuming their activities. Her laughter, the ones that came after this moment were the sweetest he'd ever heard and he wanted to hear them again. Unfortunately, she wasn't texting him back. He wouldn't force it on her and rode his bike without a sound. When they stopped at the diner, he already had made up his mind about Asma. She probably didn't want to see him back. He waited too long before he called her. He should have answered her texts when she was still interested. Distracted by his thoughts, he didn't notice that she texted him back. It's only when he saw Jax pick up the phone and call Jessica that he decided to check on his phone. To his surprise, there was a text from Asma.

[Sorry, I was busy at work. Gotcha ! I'll be waiting for that text Tig. Don't fuck up ! ]

She then texted another one which lit a fire in Tig's heart.

[I have missed you. Come back soon.]

And once again, he believed he could fly.

-TBC-

Doya: Walking circles

A/N: Just to close the case and have them return home (to match where we're at now). The whole mission would be from Oya's pov of course.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She was walking in circles because she had not heard from any of the Winchesters since they finally went hunting and exterminate the vampire nest they finally located. Of course, she should be used to Dean and Sam taking on powerful enemies, especially the vampires who were a real pain in the ass to kill when it was the night. They could have caught them off guard by attacking during the day, but the minute they figured out that the nest was indeed out of town and they had to drive to get there, it already was the night. Oya, who was already stressed because of her injury, was even more stressed not to be outside and hunt with the brothers.

Part of it was because hunting was in her DNA. She was a hunter whose whole life was about dealing with monsters, either by killing them when they were nefarious, or protecting them when they were protectors. (they were a few of them but they did exist). She missed being on the field, following leads, fighting enemies and of course killing them. Maybe it came with the hunting culture but she was missing the adrenaline of a good hunt, the thrill of the fight. It was a side she did show but with restraint because she didn't know how much Dean and Sam were into hunting since they were thrown into this world against their will.

Part of it was also because she needed to feel useful. Being forced to stay home wasn't exactly how Oya envisioned her life. She needed to move, to keep her mind busy and to find ways not to sit around and think. She had nightmares more frequently when Dean was away and while he did ask how she was holding up when he was not with her, she always managed to tell him she was okay. She kinda was, she kept herself busy reading about monsters she'd never encountered before and rituals she hadn't heard of to keep her mind sharp and expand her knowledge Yet, it really was the silence that freaked her out.

Oya hated being on her own for that reason, coupled with nightmares that only entertained the flame of her guilt alive. It happened less and less when she was outside, doing her job with Dean or Sam or even Castiel when the latter showed up. She could focus on her mission, put her whole mind into the monster of the week so when there was none of that at home? She could only be thinking of her loss and tragedies. She could only be thinking of her family that wasn't around anymore to see her be happy.

She could only be thinking of how hard it was for her to be on her own while Dean still had siblings and children. For a guy who was « alone », he certainly wasn't that much. He had family that didn't stop at Sam or Castiel and while the ebony hunter was thrilled with the idea of meeting new members of the family, she had none to introduce him to, at least, not the closest. She still had a surviving cousin in Europe. His name was Jean-Christophe and he was one of the most fearless people she'd ever met. They spent their childhood together until Jean-Christophe's mother decided to leave

Cameroon and settle in France instead because her husband, who was not a hunter, was hired by a French company. They lost contact until very recently. She heard Jean-Christophe's mother died of natural causes and found his contact details so she could send him an email. He had not responded yet, which prompted the woman to believe that he hated her for causing the death of her family. Cameroon was a relatively small country, everyone knew everyone and given the reputation Oya's family had, it was just a matter of time before the whole diaspora learned what happened to the Nzi Mulenge and how her incompetence caused the possession of her brother and the consequences that followed.

The situation fueled her guilt, making it clear to her eyes that she couldn't be fully redeemed for the situation, while it was just her imagination playing tricks on her mind. Her being restless and feeling inadequate because she was injured was doing a number to Oya who decided to focus on Dean and Sam and helping them with their mission. It was nice to be able to be their « guy in the chair » and do all the research they usually would on their own. She felt as if she was part of the mission (and she was, to some extent) but now that it was action-time, Oya realized that she cruelly was missing being in action. So she paced around.

Her hand mind-absently patted her patched-up wound as she strutted in the room. It was an interesting case with vampires not acting like usual. They thought that maybe if they were hunting outside of their comfort zone then nobody would be able to link the murders to their nest. And they were half-right. Police would have eventually pieced things together but they would be fresh blood supplies for the vampires. It was a hunter's job and hunters would have found them even if it took longer to get there. Oya and Sam brainstormed last time at the restaurant and it became obvious. Come on Oya! Trust the boys a little more! They would be back home before you even had the time to say a « thank you ».

She stopped pacing around and bit her thumb as stress as taking over. Calm down. You can calm down Oya. Dean's safe! Dean and Sam are coming home! She kept telling this to herself in order to fight her anxiety. Her hands were clenching and unclenching rapidly as she tried to control her breathing but it was becoming harder for the ebony hunter who realized that nothing at this point could help her and she needed to sit and let her tears roll down her cheeks. She had to cry. So she sat back on the bed, crossed her legs in a meditative pose and put the TV in the motel room on to cover the noises she would make while sobbing.

She hated to be like this, eaten up by her own nightmares and restless nights, weakened by her guilt and the loneliness induced by being on her own for weeks now. Of course, Dean stopped by to rest some, eat better and pack again and she enjoyed the moments they were together but everything felt ruined because of that gunshot. Yes! Oya knew it was being irrational to think that /this/ particular gunshot would ruin her hunter's life but since she couldn't leave that damn bunker and now that damn room, her anxiety blew up. She ran her hands through her curly black hair and wiped the tears off of her face. She killed the Asanbosam, she avenged her family!

Her brother Kalusha got himself in this situation and she couldn't have helped him even if she was there. Possession happens really fast, Asanbosam are quite difficult to kill on your own so she couldn't have helped him or killed him on the spot. He went hunting on his own so it wasn't on /her/. Banters happen all the time and words you end up regretting too. Yes she did regret spitting at his face that he wasn't a real hunter without her and yes, it did encourage him to go on his own but if he truly knew better, he wouldn't have gone.

She missed her family. She wished she could introduce them to Dean the way she kept on « bumping » into his family. She hoped they would consider her as part of their family after a while but you could never know these kinds of things. And who knew? Maybe she wouldn't even last that long with Dean after all. It had only been a year and a few months since she met the brothers. Sure, they did spend INTENSE days together but it only was a year. Sure, in Hunters lives, a year felt like an eternity but it still wasn't enough to write it on stone.

Maybe, she simply didn't want to lose this new family of hers, she found so randomly? The fear of being alone like that again was tugging at her heartstrings and she sobbed a little more. That was silly, this meltdown was silly.. everything was si---- The door opened to a very exhausted and bloody Dean who closed it behind him. He saw his girlfriend too caught up with her own tears to notice he was back. He put his bag quietly on the chair and sat on the bed, next to her. Oya felt his presence and looked up to his face, visibly relieved.

« You are back! » She said with a soft smile on her lips while she cleaned her face with the fabric of her shirt.

« That I am. In one piece, alive and well. » He pressed his lips against hers and stroked her cheek. « What's wrong? »

« Lack of sleep, babe. I haven't slept very well since I got shot.» She smiled at him and leaned her head on his shoulder, while he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

« Nightmares? » She nodded and he understood. She always was very cranky after having a nightmare and if it had been going for quite some time, there was no surprise that it would affect her the way it did. « I'm here now. »

« I know.. » She said, wrapping her arm around his waist. « Are you injured? »

« A lil' bit. Nothing a good shower can't fix. » He said planting a kiss on her forehead. « Maybe you'd be happier if you joined me under the shower? »

« Is this an invitation? » She purred, a grin creeping on her plump lips. »

« Maybe.... You are injured still, so we're very limited in what we can do. But I was thinking, hugging and kissing under the shower would lift up your mood? »

« You thought well. Let's do this then. I might even quickly fall asleep like that. »

She said standing back up and outstretching her hand to him so he could grab it. Dean smiled at her, satisfied that with just a couple of words he was able to improve his girlfriend's mood. He understood how she felt, being unable to go on a hunt had to suck a lot, especially for someone who enjoyed hunting like she did. He knew she wanted to be useful and took her on this hunt after she asked repeatedly because he knew it would help her feel at least, less bored. He wouldn't take her on many hunts -maybe this even was the exception- but at least he enjoyed this one. The older Winchester brother stood up and walked towards the bathroom for a very nice and sweet intimate moment with Oya where he would feel her warm skin and give her some sweet loving before they hit the bed and sleep like rocks.

-TBC- 

What a mess

What a mess this life is!
Confused and terrified I am watching as my life unfolds in front of me.
People I met, people who know me, people who want to stick with me and those who don't.
The solitude that overwhelms my heart and makes me wonder if all of this is real.
Do they want to be with me?

What a mess this life is,
When nothing actually works the way it is supposed to.
When everything is blurred and all that transpires is fear?
I don't know why it is that way.But it is.
I am confused, to be honest. Confused and horrified at the idea that maybe, just maybe I'd be alone.

What a mess this life is,
When nothing really matters, to the point that we don't know how to react.
When everything is scary, especially the potential happiness at the tip of your fingers.
When everything seems to be deceitful with no inch of truth whatsoever.What is real?
He said he was in love with me but was he?

Or is everything just a game, just a means to an end?
He thought he could tell me everything and I would fall for it? Please!
I am expecting the worse at every turn, I am expecting for the other shoe to fall and hit and hurt me
Nothing really matters......

Nothing. really does, especially not me.

DOYA: And then there was you

And then there was you. You proved me wrong so many times Dean, that I don't want to be right about anything.

I don't want to be right about you not loving me.

I don't want to be right about me being a danger.

I don't want to be right about you dying on me.

I don't want to be right about me hurting you.

I don't want to be right about losing "us"

I wouldn't survive this. It feels strange to speak those words but you know how I feel. I found you. I found Sam and Castiel. I found a new family. More than that, I found you and it scares me to lose you.

You are one of the best things that ever happened to me. I found solace by your sides, comfort and love and part of me don't want to get too used to it in case I wake up to nothing.

I relish in the feeling I have those mornings when you are sleeping next to me and I can feel your quiet heartbeat and breathing. When you're at peace for just a little longer before you wake up. I love seeing people stare at you with desire, knowing full well that you are tied to me, that we belong together and you don't even see them. I savor the fact you're focused on me, loyal to a fault dare I say and that I only have eyes for you. I love to fight anyone who dares try to steal you from me because One, I love to fight and two, I think you're worth fighting for.

I could go on and on about what I love about you, from your drop-dead gorgeous face to your smiles and your soft kisses. That I love being in your arms because I feel safe and I love when we hunt together because the adrenaline is kicking in.

Yeah, I could spend time talking about it.

But I want to talk about something else. I was always drawn to you because you were honest. You always told the truth. you were always very honest with how you felt -minus about being in love with me. you had to come around, you had to spit the words because I pushed you to but you know what I mean.- I know that whatever you say, you mean it and I trust you because of that.

Damnit, I really love you don't I? Here I was, wishing I could talk about how sexy you are instead but I ended up speaking "Shakespeare" to you.

I love you dickhead! Like crazy..you hear me?