What a mess

What a mess this life is!
Confused and terrified I am watching as my life unfolds in front of me.
People I met, people who know me, people who want to stick with me and those who don't.
The solitude that overwhelms my heart and makes me wonder if all of this is real.
Do they want to be with me?

What a mess this life is,
When nothing actually works the way it is supposed to.
When everything is blurred and all that transpires is fear?
I don't know why it is that way.But it is.
I am confused, to be honest. Confused and horrified at the idea that maybe, just maybe I'd be alone.

What a mess this life is,
When nothing really matters, to the point that we don't know how to react.
When everything is scary, especially the potential happiness at the tip of your fingers.
When everything seems to be deceitful with no inch of truth whatsoever.What is real?
He said he was in love with me but was he?

Or is everything just a game, just a means to an end?
He thought he could tell me everything and I would fall for it? Please!
I am expecting the worse at every turn, I am expecting for the other shoe to fall and hit and hurt me
Nothing really matters......

Nothing. really does, especially not me.