Quote of the day: Don't expect people to love you like you do.

Quote of the day: "Don't expect people to love you like you do. Expect them to love you the best they can do. Expect them to give you room to breathe and to have the curtsy to leave when you're not compatible anymore. Expect them to be themselves when they are with you, even if it doesn't fit your ideals, especially when it doesn't fit. The most beautiful gift friends, family (chosen or by blood), and romantic relations can give you, is to be their authentic selves. it's to feel safe enough with you that they love you honestly. It's to feel safe enough with you, to love you without artifices but to give you their love, raw, unfiltered, authentic. Don't expect people to love you like you do. Expect them to be authentic with you."

<--- brought to you by my friend C. We've been discussing emotions, love, and relationships and we've noticed that our best relationships were the most authentic ones. It wouldn't always be rainbows, it wouldn't always be fun. It would sometimes be hard, difficult, and scary because life is messy. But it would be authentic and honest and real. As long as people are true to themselves and to you, then it doesn't matter how they love you. 

Lots of words to just say that I love you and appreciate the way you show me your affection. Thank you 🙂

Growing old

You know, I used to believe that gray hair was something to be ashamed of and to try and hide. Everywhere I looked, it was seen as something to avoid at all costs, the same with wrinkles, the same with any sign of you growing older. I was made to think that the best years of my life would be before I reached 30 so I dreaded turning 30. I thought that if I didn't have my life figured out by then, I would have missed everything and would have failed at life. 

I'll turn 35 in a couple of months and frankly... All of those worries are bullshit to me. I have gray hair, and I kinda like it, I even joke about turning into Storm (although it'll take some time before I get there) because I like these. I know it's the stress causing my hair to turn grey but I decided to welcome the change. (not gonna lie, that took some work. the first gray hair had me crying over it for a while).  I'm at that age where I'm living my best life -so to speak- and doing things I would never even dream of when I was younger. 

I have met amazing women, all in their 40s who are kicking ass and taking names! Therapy, medication and a great support system help(ed) me get into a better mental space and I have learned to sever toxic ties and start to put myself first. Getting older is not a dread anymore, because aside from my desire to go to bed earlier, to be tucked in my bed by 10, to avoid nightclubs because I don't see the appeal anymore, and to try new things, it's not a punishment. Is it? Getting older means knowing yourself better and if anything, I like the person I am now compared to the one I used to be. I love the friends I have now and the opportunities I can welcome. 

So yeah, I'm now curious about the person I'll be when I turn 40. Perhaps I would finally dye my hair pink! (or wear more pink wigs! because damnit!)  Perhaps I would bleach my hair and let it be silver, so I would be like Storm. Hopefully, my book would FINALLY be out! who knows? Life doesn't end by 40, it just begins. that's what I learned by getting older and I wish, I really wish I would have known it when I was younger.

Be kind to yourself

be kind to yourself, 

I realized how harsh and self-destructive I was when I was asked to say out loud what crosses my mind. I had to imagine myself speaking to a child and I broke down. It's so easy to fall into a cycle of abuse towards ourselves as if growing old stops us from feeling compassion for ourselves. We act as if we can handle everything because we're supposed to. We're supposed to set goals as high as possible and berate ourselves if we can't reach them. 

We're supposed to follow a path because others have done it because that's "how it's supposed to be" and we don't listen to ourselves or our own needs. Someone told me that we were our worst bullies, and it is true. we speak so effortlessly horrible words that either were spoken to us by someone else, or we created based on expectations we couldn't meet. 

In the long run, we forget that we're no less deserving of kindness. We're no less deserving of being treated right, even by ourselves, especially by ourselves. In the long run, we forget to cut ourselves some slack and to stop and breathe. We don't meet our needs. So, we have to rekindle our connection with ourselves. We have to make sure we meet our needs. We have to make sure we listen to ourselves again and give ourselves the grace of failure and growth. 

it's probably word salad because I can't seem to find my words today, but I hope that at least some of it could reach out to someone out there 🙂

Doya: Her proposal

She never thought Dean would accept her proposal. But she was extremely happy that he did. Her proposal happened in the most mundane way. He was watching TV with her, she turned to him and simply said: "Marry Me." Oya never thought she would be the type to do so, but she realized that there was no template, and no rules to follow. there was no right way to do things just their way. She loved him. She loved him more than anything and to be able to take his name and let the whole world that they were together was the cherry on top. 

headcanon sara

 Affection and Sara: 

"Baby, do you love me? 

Are you going to protect me? 

All of those who claimed they loved me lied to me. 

They wanted something from me, my fame, my money or the sex I could give.

Yet, none of them truly wanted Unnamed Girl. None of them cared. None of them but me. 

I guess I would keep on loving me, keep on saving me, but baby I'm lonely. 

Baby, Do you love me? 

Are you going to break my heart too? 

Are you going to burn my soul too?

All I ever wanted was to be loved, to be seen, to be cared for. 

All I ever wanted was to find my other half, my other me, my better me.

Yet, All I got was blood and tears. All I got was dust and wind... All I got was nothing. 

But I love you, see? 

I love you. I'm willing to bet on you. 

I'm willing to let you come close, willing to let you hurt me. 

Only if that means, I get a chance at being happy. 

otherwise, they'll organize two funerals, yours and mine, so baby... baby, please, love me."

SoA: Headcanon: Self-esteem

 Mary self-esteem had been eaten away by the abusive relationship she had with her ex-fiance Oscar. She used to be extremely confident and excited about her future. She would have been an astronaut. She would have helped take care of her mother with dementia and would have given her the best. She would have done so many things, maybe even become a mother to a decent man, if Oscar had been true to her. But he wasn't. He chipped at her self-esteem and isolated her from her friends in order to manipulate the woman better. 

When she met Maya, Mary was a mess but she was trying to stay sober. her light was dimmed but she seemed to be pretty content with the life she was leading. Upon meeting (at a supermarket), she just witnessed Maya stand her ground against a bigger and more aggressive man who was hitting on her. Impressed and curious,  Mary walked to her and told her she thought she was cool.  That was the first brick of their friendship. Fast forward a couple years and Mary now considers Maya like her sister. Maya is the only woman who knows her. She knows her fear, she knows her hopes and dreams. She is able to embrace Mary as she is, as her authentic self, and that boosted Mary's self-esteem. 

Maya's happiness is Mary's main concern. She wants her friend to be happy. She wants her friend to be safe. She wants her friend to finally have the life she dreams of, a life out of Charming, violence, and death. She wants Maya to have a chance to live a normal life, (as normal as can be), without pain, without all the nebulous connections of doom the club is plagued with. She wishes Maya could face her past and heal from those wounds (old and new) in order to start a healthier life with her soulmate Nakota. Mary's extremely happy that Nak is in Maya's life because she can see her friend light up when she's talking about him (although he also has his own bag of issues and problems to carry over his shoulder). Together, they feel real love, they want to support each other and Mary feels good knowing her friend is in honest and genuine hands. 

Mary's self-esteem improved with the friendship she has with Maya. She's a woman who now can imagine a future for herself, a quiet life at Charming where she can keep on doing her work. She feels even better knowing her friend will protect her from her awful ex, Oscar, and that Maya wants her happiness. Mary could give anything, including her own life, for Maya because she doesn't imagine a life without her friend and because she wants to give her a chance to live a better life. A life Mary, at least, was able to know before she met Oscar. 

modern Got Headcanon: Best friend

 Bäahal never had a best friend before she met Kyra. For most of her life, she was either ignored by her own family (except for her father and her late mother and later on by Rhaegar before his death), or Daenerys sycophants approached her in hopes to be noticed by her sister. Bäahal accepted their presence because she felt it was better to meet people than to be on her own. Besides, some of them were heirs of wealthy and noble families her sister wanted to conduct business with. Needless to say that the relationships weren't good. They were quite the opposite. The lack of sincerity from the socialites she had in her entourage forced Bäahal into believing that she could never meet genuine people and make genuine friendships, so she gave up on these. That was until she met Kyra Lannister at a fundraiser. 

Bäahal fell in love with her, in a platonic sense of the word (and only because she was already romantically linked with Jaime Lannister at the time of their meeting). Kyra's kindness on the day they met knocked down some of the walls she put up in order to protect her heart. Bäahal instantly wanted to become friends with Kyra, going as far as to introduce her (through the pictures on her phone) to her dogs, Rhaegal, Viseryon, and Drogon. Bäahal was very nervous after the fundraiser because she believed Kyra would never want to see her again and was only nice to her because of the circumstances of their first meeting, so imagine how delighted she was when she was proven wrong? Kyra was sincere, and she showed the young woman some interest. 

Bäahal lowered her walls upon their second meeting, deciding that Kyra had passed her test and proved herself to be true to her. She enjoyed her company and allowed herself to imagine spending her time with Kyra for the rest of her life. She felt that she could confide in the blonde woman. She felt that Kyra could give her support, affection, and understanding, all the things she has always lacked in her life. She believed that she could listen to Kyra, give her some support (especially when it comes to her career but also her romantic life if needs to be), but also hang out and do mundane things like going to a restaurant, to a nightclub, to the movies without worrying about whether or not the person she's with is lying through her teeth. 

This friendship is very new and very beautiful to Bâahal who is afraid she would not be good enough to remain friends with Kyra. She worries her spontaneity and her tendency to run her mouth without thinking or get excited would overwhelm her calmer and more collected friend and dread being left behind. Bäahal doesn't believe that she can maintain relationships or be a good friend to people since she had not been given the opportunity to be one. So she's very excited about her friendship with Kyra but also very cautious because she worries Kyra would get tired of her and want to leave. Maybe with some time, she'd be more confident in her ability to be a good friend to Kyra. 

TB: Headcanon: The Orphanage years

TB: Headcanon: The Orphanage years

 // A little tidbit of information about Sara's time at the orphanage.

xxx

Sara rarely speaks about her time at the Orphanage. What could she say aside from the very obvious: "That's where she found her true calling"? She had always felt alone and was always on high alert in such a cut-throat environment. She hated the system and that turned her into a more self-serving and selfish person. She still, managed to feel empathy for children because she knew firsthand how vulnerable they were. That's where she learned she could sing and could use it to placate feelings and save herself from being bullied or worse. Still, she hates those years there. 

She realized that the only adults who cared but were overworked and powerless were the social workers. They were the only ones who gave her some sympathy after the murder of her parents. The administrator of the orphanage was a sadistic bitch who hated kids and ran the place like a prison. Entertainment was considered a privilege and kids had to work hard in order to earn it. Sara had been bullied for a year by older teenagers. Girls cut her hair, burned some of it, threw paint, and bleach, and sometimes stuck chewing gums in her hair. Guys picked her apart because she was curvier than the rest of the kids and looked older. 

Some tried to break her self-esteem by insulting her for her freckles and her curves, while others tried to take advantage of her by fondling her or forcing kisses onto her.  She rarely slept the first year. Instead, she watched what was unfolding in the facility. She watched people get beaten for the littlest slight perceived. She watched them get their possessions stolen or destroyed in front of them. She saw kids taunting others about their dead relatives and how nobody would ever want to adopt them. She, herself, suffered from the fact her own family didn't want her and had to endure being laughed at. Still, the years spent at the Orphanage weren't all useless. Sara learned a lot there. 

She learned to protect herself better by using her brain and her sex appeal to manipulate others. She realized she was bisexual when she fell in love with a girl from the facility, whom she dated for six months before the cruel environment introduced her to drugs and had her escape from the orphanage.  She learned about sex, the good, and the less good, and how she could weaponize it through various hook-ups. She discovered her skills as a singer and used them to avoid beatings and coax people into being at her service. Sara realized she had something special, something that could help her survive in the world, and started to cultivate the desire to become a singer.  She met Dotty a few months before she turned 18 because the woman wanted to see if she could adopt a kid. She visited the orphanage and upon learning she was a celebrity agent, Sara wooed her by singing very loudly. We can say that it was one of the best things/ days she ever had. someone had noticed her. Someone wanted to take her out of this miserable place and someone was promising her a bright future. 

TB: Family Feud: The younger years

 // This is a little flashback, just a little way to introduce her extended family and the day she turned 18 and paid them her last visit. 

xxxx

Sara was nervously waiting in front of her aunt's door. She was fidgeting with the hem of her purple sweater, patiently waiting for someone to answer the door. What led her there? She still had flashbacks of her as a younger teenager, when social services called her aunts and uncles in order to find a foster home for the girl. The social worker had put the calls on speakers to allow the teen to speak to her family should they wish to. None of them wanted her. None. Sara remembered the names they used to call her: "Deviant", "Satan's spawn", and "Monster" all because she became super and had powers. All because she was different from them. They disavowed her and considered that her parents paid the price for striking a deal with the devil.  Sara sat still, crying silent tears and vowing to never piss on them if they ever caught fire. 

Still... here she was, recently freed from the system (or kicked out if you considered things differently) and noticed by Dotty, who agreed to become her manager and signed a long contract with the future megastar. She wanted to tell the aunt closest to the orphanage that she was going and that whatever fame she might get, they would get nothing from her.  But.. She also wanted to see if the many years that went by, somehow, healed the old wounds and that perhaps, she would be welcomed into her family again. Silly hope leads to despair but she still hoped the outcome would be different this time. She sighed and stroked the strap of her bag. Finally, the door opened and an older woman came to the door. It was her mother's sister. She was dressed in a large blue dress that swallowed her bony figure and made her look like a witch. 

"Who are you?" -Her tone was dry, but she recognized her. Those freckles, that skin, those black eyes... it could only be her niece, Sara.-

"It's... Sara." -The teenager looked at her aunt, a hopeful smile crossing her face- 

"Sara? Oh..." -Sara furrowed her brows and tried to make a step forward but the Aunt put her hand before her, stopping her net in her tracks- "Don't come closer. I thought you died or were adopted! What are you doing here?"

"Well... I haven't been adopted and as you can see, I'm not dead yet. I wanted to tell the family that I'm back and that I can take care of myself. I have signed a contract with a manager and I'll become a singer. I just... wanted to know if you could take me in?"

The old woman laughed. She called for her children to come, those were around Sara's age, maybe a tad older than her. Two young men and a teenage girl joined their mother and they looked at Sara as if she was a freak. Sara knew this gaze all too well. They stared at her freckles, stared at her chubby frame and they laughed. She clenched her fists and a flash of purple crossed her eyes. She wanted to use her telekinesis and stone them to death. She wanted to ruin their faces and bash their brains out. She wanted to make them stop laughing and pointing their fingers at her. She gritted her teeth and felt blood rush to her cheeks. Her eyes swelled up and she could feel tears pooling there. 

"You want to be part of this family? Baby, haven't you heard? We said NO! We don't want a freak like you! I don't know why my sister thought it was a good idea, but nobody on her side wants you. I don't know why your father let you turn into this... thing, but even on his side, they all said they didn't want your ass! you have the nerve to come back years after we said no to you and show your ass here and ask to be part of the family? Get the fuck out here! We don't want you, Sara! You died when they turned you into a demon! Go away and never come back! we don't claim you!"

The whole family started to point at her and yell their hatred at the teenager. in the cacophony that their voices made, Sara could only hear the same words over and over again. "monster" "We don't claim you" and "Get out". She tried to take a step towards them but one of her cousins threw the book he was holding at her face, which she dodged using her power. This only fueled their anger and Sara slowly started to back up. She pointed her index finger at them and yelled. 

"I'm never coming to get you! You're dead to me! you hear me?!!! you're dead to me! I'll become rich and famous and you won't get a dime out of me! I'm the one who rejects you! I reject you!! You're just a bunch of heartless fuckers! you don't know shit about me! You left me to rot in that place!!! You left me to be hurt there! I hate you! I fucking hate you! You hear me?!!!"

It was a promise she wanted to keep. A promise she would do anything to keep. She would NOT allow them to break her heart again or hurt her the way they did. She would keep her promise and become so famous she would be inevitable. She would succeed and be happy. They wished she was gone from their lives? oh, she was petty and she wanted revenge. She would make it so anything they might enjoy would have her in. She promised and the tears she cried that day would be the last ones she would cry for her. 

-TBC-

TB: Impromptu meeting -angst-

 TB: Impromptu meeting -angst-

// Trying to explain the tumultuous relationship Sara had with her ex Brett and how much of an asshole he actually is.  She dated Brett Howard for 3 years. They broke up when she was 23 and she had been single ever since.

xxxxx

Unnamed Girl's private room. 

Dotty was applying the finishing touches on her protégée's face. She had noticed that her left eye was swollen and bruised. Sara had tried to cover it up with her make-up but the blonde voluptuous woman knew too much about this type of injury to not have noticed it. Usually, she would wait for Sara to speak first and tell her what was happening, but this time she couldn't keep it to herself. A concerned voice broke the silence and she cupped the young woman's chin. 

"Baby, what's going on?"

"I'm fine, Dot. Please, just... keep at it. I have to look good on screen." -She tried to deflect the conversation, but her lips started to shake. Dotty furrowed her blonde brows and released Sara's chin to resume applying makeup to her eye- "Dot... Don't worry. I'm fine."

"Sara. I know a black eye when I see one. Who did this to you? Brett?" -Sara flinched and chewed at her bottom lip in order to hold back a painful moan.- "Fine! You don't have to tell me it's him, I know it's him.  why? Why did he do this?"

Sara panicked and shrugged her shoulders. How could she tell Dotty what Brett was putting her through? She quickly became a superstar. Her career launched when she was 18 and reached new levels since its beginning. Unnamed Girl was what many called a megastar. She was invited everywhere in the world and filled whole stadiums with her unique performances. She had her hardcore fans who called themselves the Unknown and who dedicated internet shrines and blogs and fan clubs to this young girl. Her "long-time" boyfriend, Brett, was but a C-List superhero who leeched off of her fame. He was charming, at first, really charming and she fell for his fake kind persona. She fell head over heels for him and tried to please him in any way she could. yet, Brett wasn't satisfied. 

He was controlling once they were together. She had to dress a certain way, behave a certain way, and talk to him a certain way. If she failed to do as he requested, he would remind her. Usually, his words were enough, he would demean her, and criticize her every move. He'd tell her she wasn't pretty enough, wasn't good enough, and couldn't be loved by her fans if she didn't change things as he saw fit. She loved him so much that she didn't realize at first what he was trying to do and his words started to impact her and Sara ended up believing them. Brett had never been physical with her until a couple days ago. he lost his patience because she didn't do as he asked. She didn't cover her freckles before going out on a date with him and he decided that she was defiant and disobedient. She argued her case, hoping he would understand that she wanted a quiet night at their favorite joint but he didn't like it. so he punched her face and told her she looked disgusting. 

"I didn't....put my makeup on. I know... I know he told me to cover up when we're together but that night, I wanted to let my skin breathe. I wanted privacy. There was my mistake, I wanted something I knew he didn't want." -She said, trying to justify his reaction. Dotty's face turned livid as a cold fury started to wash through her body. How could he get away with this behavior for so long? How come she did not see it happening? Dotty shifted the blame on him, refusing to take it on herself and she let her fingers run over her client and pulled her into a hug. "What... are you doing? Dot... I'm fine."

"This isn't fine, Sara. Don't you see? Don't you see he's trying to take from you? Come on, baby. You have to set yourself free from that man or you'll be living your life in a prison like at the Orphanage. Do you want to live your life like that?" -Sara was struggling with keeping her emotions to herself. She was about to cry and ruin the makeup Dotty had put on her face. She wanted to scream and ask for her help because she didn't know how to escape her boyfriend but words died at the back of her throat.  Instead, she held onto Dotty's arms and tried to swallow her sobs back. 

It didn't last long, for she felt it, the air turned colder and she realized that Brett was in the building. He used to create Ice on his path, enough to turn the atmosphere in the room or building extremely cold. This way, Sara would know he was around and she would behave before he opened the door. He enjoyed seeing her shake before him and recoil to a corner of the room he entered. He enjoyed seeing her try to placate him because that made him feel powerful and in control.  She blinked and shifted her eyes from left to right before her faint voice came out, issuing a warning to her manager. 

"Leave. Please. He's coming..."

"No. I won't lea--"

"Dot! For the love of god, Leave the room. Brett doesn't like you and I can't... Deal with him if I also have to make sure you're okay. Leave. I'll be fine. I'll have to perform."

She watched as a conflicted older woman struggled to move away from her and sighed in relief as Dotty finally left her private room. The air was still getting colder, so cold that when she exhaled, she could see the fog coming out of her mouth. Brett was very near, and she had to be on her best behavior if she didn't want to upset him. She would gather the strength to leave him, surely she would, in the future. She wanted to believe that her desire to be safe and alive would supersede her desire to be loved. Brett didn't love her, he used her. He used her for everything come to think of it. He needed her fame to bring some focus on him too. He needed her love because he damn well knew that he couldn't be loved like she did. he needed her affection and her dedication to him to give meaning to his fucking life. He needed her money to keep living a lavish life. he needed her for everything and held her in the palm of his hand because he convinced her that nobody loved her and nobody could love her like he did. 

Sara had already had her heart broken by her ex Tara. She didn't want to lose Brett because she felt that if she did, then she would be on her own forever. She had survived the orphanage and the violence she witnessed there and suffered from. She had survived her parents and their lack of love...but she couldn't survive -in her mind, at the time- another breakup.  Yet, her heart was beating fast against her ribcage. What if he got angry? what if he hurt her again? She stroked her cheek and bit her thumb anxiously.  That night, Brett would lovebomb her. He would treat her like his princess and would smother her with his affection to drown the little noise in the back of her head. It would work and she would not see it coming when Brett would very publicly break up with her, humiliating her in the process and shredding her confidence to pieces and the idea that maybe someone, somewhere could be decent enough to want her, honestly want her and treat her right. Brett was that type of man, brutal, manipulative... a real sociopath who tried (but failed) to destroy Sara in hopes she would never be able to move on from him.  He noticed she still lived in their old apartment and she still had her little habits and he decided to very soon pay her a visit and see what he could get from her again. 

-TBC-

Regular profile: regular human Hayley Blackwood

►𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒

Main Faceclaim: Aja Naomi King 

Other FC: TBD

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Hayley Blackwood

𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞(𝐬): Honey, Holly, Lee, Pearl

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 30 years old

𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐎𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Heterosexual

𝐎𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: She owns an antique shop. 

𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲: American

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐬: Human

►𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧: Houston, Texas. 

𝐄𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: High school diploma.

►𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋

𝐄𝐲𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫: Hazel

𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫: Black.

𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭: 170 cm

𝐖𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭: 65 kg

𝐓𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐬, 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬, 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐞𝐭𝐜: She is blind. She suffered a degenerative eye condition that left her blind in her teens.

►𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒

𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫: Charlotte Blackwood  (deceased)

𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫:   Johnny Blackwood (deceased)

►𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒

𝐄𝐱-𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫(𝐬):

-Anthony Brooks (he broke up with her because she refused to stop working.)

𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫:

Single.

►𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

Hayley is a very soft and fun woman. She's very cute and funny and enjoys making bad jokes to lighten the mood. Her friends consider her to be bright and warm and are very careful around her. She doesn't mind people being protective but she doesn't like when they feel she can't handle herself. After years of growing into being blind, she can manage pretty well and is very autonomous. Hayley is balanced and vulnerable. She's very naive when it comes to interpersonal relationships and is an open heart, which sometimes caused her trouble. She's very upbeat but she also is melancholic, mostly because she misses her parents and wishes to at least make them proud with her life choices.

►𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒

𝐁𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭: She was adopted by the Blackwood when she was an infant. She discovered that her father murdered her mother shortly after she gave birth to her in a fit of rage. Her parents kept it from her because they didn't want to hurt her.

► 𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘

𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐭: Hayley had a joyful childhood with loving parents. She was able to complete her education in spite of the degenerative eye condition that left her blind and managed to make a life for herself.  her parents died in a car accident when she was 25 years old, which prompted her to leave her childhood house and move from Texas to start over. She had a few issues while setting up her shop, but quickly managed to gain the sympathy and the affection of her clients. She had a few relationships that ended either because she chose to or because they left her but she doesn't hold a grudge towards them. She took them as an opportunity to learn and grow. 

𝐍𝐨𝐰: her life is uneventful for the moment. 

SOA profile (revamp)

Mary Colson (SoA)

►𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒

Faceclaim: 

other FC: 

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Mary Colson

𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞(𝐬): Mar, Ma. (Nakota and Maya)

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 30 years old

𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐎𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Heterosexual

𝐎𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

- Tattoo artist / Tattoo parlor owner.

𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲: American

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐬: Human

►𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧: Boston

𝐄𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: She owns a master's degree in spatial science, and she also owns a tattoo license. 

𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬: Charming, California

►𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋

𝐄𝐲𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫: Hazel

𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫: Black but she sometimes dyes it Pink or Orange.

𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭: 165 cm

𝐖𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭: 70 kg

𝐓𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐬, 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬, 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐞𝐭𝐜: She has a phoenix tattoo on her calf and a heart tattoo on her forefinger.

►𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒

𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫: Shannon Colson (deceased)

𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫:  Jeremiah Colson (deceased) 

Brother: Cody Colson (deceased) was a member of a Charming gang. He helped Mary hide in Charming and the two reconciled before he was killed during a shoot-out with the Sons.

►𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒

𝐄𝐱-𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫(𝐬):

- Oscar Mendez (He is a psychopath and an abuser, who is trying to force her back with him or would kill her if she rejects him) 

𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫:

No one.

►𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

Mary is a vibrant and confident woman who overcame a lot of adversity in order to make a life for herself. She is kind, loving, and mischievous.  Mary is very funny, she loves to be silly and to make jokes with her friends. Mary's resilient, given the living hell she endured, her life, and her desire to do better for herself. She's made a life for herself, opened her shop, made friends, and found a family. While she is nurturing and gives her attention and affection to others, willingly offering her shoulders to rest on, she hides her pain and hides it well. She used to drown her sorrow with alcohol but the death of her brother was the trigger to her path of recovery and a healthier life. Mary doesn't like to talk about herself, she doesn't want to open up about her issues because she thinks they are too much to deal with. 

►𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒

𝐁𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭: She is a survivor of domestic violence and a recovering alcoholic. She has suffered so much at the hands of her former fiancé, Oscar, that she sustains a slight limp due to him throwing her off of the stairs. She's been running away from him ever since, going from one town to another in hopes of finding a safe haven where he would not find her. 

A vintage's touch: Kick me out -smut-

A vintage's touch: Kick me out -smut-

// I think that it's going to be a very intense Colby session.  Both are very upset. I mused about what could happen if/when he fucks that nazi bitch and she tells Mary to her face.

xxxxxxxxxx

« Is it what you want? » -Tommy's voice echoed through their bedroom.-

 Mary looked at him, her green eyes were staring at his hard face. his jaw was clenched, and his eyes were cold but in truth, Tommy could feel his heartbeats shatter his ribcage. He felt hot, furious at Mary that she dared say she wanted to leave. He realized that she was not provoking him like she usually did, she meant those words and each of them hurt him like daggers. Truth be told, he knew that he messed up. He knew that what he did couldn't be forgiven but had to be done if he wanted his plan to come to fruition. it was a dangerous gamble and he was now reaping what he sowed. 

« Yes! » -Her voice was barely there, almost a whisper. Her eyes were wet from unshed tears and she clenched her fists. She was beyond hurt, her chin was trembling, tears threatened to roll down her cheeks and her nose was wet. She was on the verge of breaking down.-

« You want me to tell you to leave? » -He asked again, trying to convince himself that it was what he wanted to do. In vain. He didn't want Mary to leave. How could he when she was the one who held him together-

« Yes !!!»  -She sounded desperate, well, she was desperate to put an end to it.- 

Learning that the man she loved had an affair with a nazi sympathizer? To be told right in her face that she was a lucky woman to have that man at home as if she didn't deserve to be with Tommy? To see that he didn't respect their vows, and their promise to be faithful and loyal to the other? It was so painful for Mary that she had to leave the dining room of their house to run and cry in their bedroom. Once the guests left the house, he rushed to his bedroom to find Mary who was starting to pack her bags-

« Is IT WHAT YOU WANT? » -He screamed at her, almost spitting in her face as he was trying to work himself up to do it- 

It was pointless, he knew that deep inside he couldn't ask her to leave. He didn't want her to leave! She held his heart in her hands, fuck, she did! why would he kick her out of her house? why would he want to be on his own, left to his own device and to the cold of the bedroom? He didn't want to be alone and he didn't want to make excuses for what he did SHe deserved more than lies.

« DO IT !!! DO IT !!!  Kick me out, Tommy!! » -She screamed and cried.- « Do it, Tom...Please! Please !... » -He wrinkled his nose and tried to speak but he couldn't. Mary was waiting for him to scream at her to leave his fucking house, to scream at her that he didn't love her and never did and that she wasn't Grace and he wouldn't love her at this level. She needed a reason to leave, a reason to kill any hope left in her heart, but when she realized he wouldn't speak, it made her scream and she slapped him- « COWARD !! You're a fucking coward TOM !!!! ONE JOB! I'm asking for ONE FUCKING JOB !! the EASIEST FOR YOU! And you're SCREWING THIS UP! » -She tried to hit him again but he grabbed her hand and pinned it hard against the wall.-

« FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU MARY! Don't you dare come to me and ask me to kick you out!  Don't ask me to tell you a lie! I won't tell you that I don't love you. I won't tell you that I want you to leave our house! I ain't a liar!  You hear me? I ain't that kind of guy!»

« Why did you so easily fuck that nazi bitch? Am I not enough for you? Don't I make you happy? » She asked, her eyes searching for his. « Why can't you push me away? » She really didn't understand and he realized she couldn't if he didn't make it clear that he loved her and wanted her. He wasn't a man of many words so he didn't know how to tell her what she meant for him. Instead, he grabbed her neck and crashed his lips against hers.

Mary's eyes were wide open as suddenly, his emotions became easy for her to read since Tommy was projecting like crazy. His anguish, his sadness, and his worries about her were overwhelming the nurse who barely processed the flow of information. She could feel his anger at the situation, at his powerlessness to make her feel better, at his love for her that grew without him being able to stop it. She knew Tommy hated what he did to her, he didn't want to fuck this blonde woman but he still did it for his business.  It was so overwhelming that Mary could only reply in kind and kissed him hard. Their kiss was a bruising one, that took their breaths away. The Shelby wrapped his powerful arms around her waist and lifted her up, allowing Mary to wrap her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Tommy felt her pleasant weight against his body, her warmth and soft plumpness that aroused him even more. As they broke the kiss to catch their breaths, Mary grabbed his jaw and held it tight.

« You're a fucking pussy. Not kicking me out because you're in love with me. Tommy.. you better make up for it. You better make up for fucking with that nazi bitch and breaking my heart.» She said in a teasing tone. She was upset, but still willing to give him a chance to make up for the heartbreak he caused her.

He noticed that her dress was fluid enough for him to easily grab her bare skin,  and Tom relished in the softness of her flesh against his hard one. She grabbed a fist of his salt and pepper hair and yanked his head back. Sure! he would show her that he wasn't a pussy and he would show it to her so much she would break beneath him. He pulled her off of the wall and sat at the edge of the bed, this time fully feeling her weight on top of him.

« Quit saying I'm a pussy, Mary! » He grunted but it made her laugh and she ran her hand through her brown locks.-

« I call you a pussy when I feel like it. Right now it does have a nice sound to it. » -She said, biting her bottom lip.-

It felt strange to her, deep inside, she knew that she was angry. She wanted to tell him that she was hurting, to discover that he was able to give his body to someone else, an enemy really! How could he do this to her? How could he do this without telling her? She had to discover the truth by the mouth of the woman he fucked, in front of several people. how humiliating! Mary was ready to disappear or so she thought. Truth be told, she wasn't ready at all. She didn't want to leave Tommy. She didn't want to leave him and Charlie behind, but she wanted him to know he broke her trust. He broke her heart and she was not going to give it back to him as easily as before. Tommy felt the familiar weight of hers on him and moistened his lips in anticipation of what would come next. Mary massaged his scalp and shifted her weight on top of him, making sure she pressed herself against his crotch. She was taunting him, he could tell. She was reminding him about her sinful body, and her wicked mind. The rush of adrenaline caused by the whole situation was driving him crazy and he needed to let go of the overwhelming feelings. 

He picked up her arousal and guessed she wanted some. Who was he to refuse? In one swift motion, his wife removed her dress, exposing her perfect ample breasts and brown nipples, rock hard from the adrenaline rush and the cold of the room. Tommy sighed, taken aback by her beauty before he allowed his left hand to grope and knead her breast, eliciting a moan from her. The brunette rolled her head to the side and rocked her hips back and forth as she desperately wanted to feel him.

« Say it one more time and you won't be laughing. » He warned her, half-teasing, half-aroused.-

She felt good against him but he felt the urge to feel her flesh so he switched their positions. The gangster laid the nurse on her back and knelt in front of her right in between her legs. Her brown hair was messy around her face, and she was panting in anticipation. His hand was still kneading her breast, feeling its weight in his palm, and making her moan. Mary looked at him with lust filling her eyes and an underlying feeling of gratitude she couldn't even articulate. The older man removed his shirt, exposing his muscular torso to her greedy eyes, and he unzipped his pants eagerly. He felt her legs wrap around his waist and she reached out to his arm, pulling him towards her as her growing need for him took over.

« You're a pussy! You can't even fuck me properly. » She whispered in his ear, while he nibbled her neck. Tommy furrowed his brows, his ego picked on and his arousal growing to the point he was really trapped within his pants. Mary was playing with his nerves on purpose and relished seeing him angry and upset that she was insulting him. He realized that she too wanted to blow some steam off, express with her body how intense she felt during their confrontation earlier. "You even have to go fuck someone else because you can't handle me!"

« I'm a pussy huh? » He asked, it was a rhetorical question of course. He needed her to confirm.

« Yeah! A big pussy! I'm going to fuck you like you deserve!! » She spat at him with a playful grin on her lips.

« A pussy uh? » He repeated louder, quickly pulling his pants down so his swollen cock would be free. He looked down to the underline of her black panties and tossed them aside, exposing her slick and warm pussy to his hungry eyes. She didn't move, instead, she bit at her forefinger as she knew he would show no mercy at all. Tommy put his large hand on her soft belly, feeling its softness and her increased breathing before he slipped two fingers into her awaiting core without a warning.

« Aaaahh NN-Gh hh !!! »-She moaned and closed her eyes, overwhelmed by his digits in her tight crevice.- 

Every single night when she was on her own, she would imagine his fingers inside of her, his lips all over her body, his hands around her neck, or slapping her ass. But Tommy had been away, more and more and she had been missing her husband for a long time now. So it felt like a relief. He fingered her, fast and relentlessly without waiting for her to catch her breath. His fingers hit her sensitive spot, making her squirm beneath him, eyes closed, body undulating like a snake as she couldn't help but moan.

« You don't get too close your eyes. » He said to her, commanding, angry at her attempt to be kicked out by him. She shook her head and bit her inner arm, embarrassed suddenly to have him look into her eyes and to what he could find if he did. « Look at me! » He ordered, the harshness of his voice made her moan louder and she opened her eyes, only to stare at him with wet green eyes. 

He smirked, while his other hand jerked him off so he could be rock-hard and ready to ravage her. The tension in the room was reaching its peak and the scent of arousal was hitting his nostrils, only fueling his own desire. He felt how tight she contracted against his digits and grinned with a mischievous gaze.

« Ahhh... NN-Gh hh Don't stop! » She breathlessly said, yanking her head back and moaning louder as he kept pistoning and hitting her g-spot. He was quite skilled in bed and relished in seeing her cream on his fingers and melt beneath him. « Y-Yes !! Yes !! Fuck! Tommy !! » She called his name, over and over again as he kept fingering the ebony beauty at a steady pace.

« Who's a pussy now? » He asked with a chuckle. She replied in kind and bit harder at her bottom lip as her hips were matching his fingers. His grin widened as he saw her still trying to banter with him. In vain.

« You still are. » She said. « You still weren't able to fucking kick me out when I begged you to. Where is your virility? I don't see it! » She teased him but he went harder on her, forcing her to grab the sheets. « Fuck! Bastard! Stop teasing me like that! Fuck !!! Tom! I can't !!!!» She barked at him, shifting her waist as she couldn't keep it in place. Her eyes were now wide open and she stared at him, confused and desperate to find relief.

« I told you that you didn't have to leave! I told you that you're my wife! you're my fucking wife and you don't get to leave me! » He whispered while removing his fingers as brutally as he inserted them. Mary gasped and was shocked at being empty once again. He grinned as she stared at him, panting with lust-filled eyes. "I will fuck you if I want to!"

« You can't even do that! » She groaned, crossing her arms below her chest, mind-absently pushing her cleavage a little bit more into his face. Tommy chuckled darkly before he grabbed her legs and spread them wide open. Towering her with his large body, the gangster was staring at her with the very same lust she had, which had her groan a little bit in defiance.

« I'm not the one dripping wet here. » -He said, with a smirk. He knew she'd protest and maybe blush a little.-

« I'm not Dr---AAAH! » He thrust into her pulsating pussy, cutting her short in her rants. Tommy let a grunt escape from his lips as he relished in the warmth and slickness of her soft folds. Mary wrapped her arms around his shoulders and sunk her nails into his hard flesh. Drawing blood to her fingers and making him groan in discomfort « Y-Y-Yes! » She moaned as he was mercilessly pistoned her cunt. She had her eyes closed as it was becoming hard to handle.

It felt like a relief for both of them. Acceptance as well. Who knew? He wanted to make her pay somehow for what she put him through, but also for being in his life and haunting his heart and mind. He fucking loved her and this love made him feel ashamed for what he did with the nazi blonde.  His love for her made him choke on the idea of losing her. He punished her in his very own way, fucking her into oblivion as she wasn't able to speak anymore. He pumped hard into her, hitting the bottom of her petite core while his fingers were sunk into her fleshy waist to hold her in place. The nurse welcomed it, his roughness, for it was what she was looking for. She needed to feel alive, desired, and also forgiven for suggesting to leave. So she took his assaults on her and encouraged him to go harder. 

The bed cracked and threatened to break under their weight but none of them cared. She bit his shoulder, hard enough to draw blood to her lips, and scratched his back to leave her mark on him so he wouldn't forget her in the morning. It wasn't making love, they weren't making love at this exact moment. He was punishing her and she was redeeming herself.  but he was apologizing and she was accepting his apologies. After a while, Mary took his hand and wrapped it around her neck, as she felt herself being close to release and he complied. His hand gently squeezed her delicate neck and he grunted as he felt her tighten around his cock.

« Fuck you, Tommy! Fuck you...haaaannn » She let him know, her hand cupping his cheek in a soft caress while her legs wrapped tighter around his waist. « .....so fucking close... punish me... » She trailed off, her eyes so wet, so bright that he knew she was overwhelmed with the pleasure he made her experience. He wasn't too far away either as he felt his climax building up to the point of non-return. Tommy never thought the word « Punish » would be that arousing but it was all he needed to completely let loose.

His thrusts were slow and hard as he hit the bottom of her velvety core. He made the bed shift and crack harder than before and along with it, he made her scream. Mary didn't care that night. Tommy gave himself to her at this exact moment, indulging her every request with his hand around her neck squeezing just enough so she could feel its weight but not enough to hurt the nurse. She forgave him... he knew it. She forgave him but he wanted to make up to her. He wanted to treat her better and reassure her. Mary was his wife, the woman he chose to be with. That nazi blonde was not something he enjoyed. He had to. He had to do it if he wanted to achieve his goal but by doing so, he insulted his wife. He insulted their couple. He had to make up to her.

 She came, shaking and choking on her tears as pleasure was unbearable. And he stopped for a while so he could stroke her cheeks and plant several kisses all over her face. Mary sighed and cupped his face with her hands so she could look into his eyes. Her lips were trembling and her eyes were teary when she decided to kiss him softly, on a whim. The widely opened his eyes, not expecting the kiss to be this soft and to feel this good but he kissed her back, this time caringly. His thrusts were slower and softer as he wanted her to keep riding her orgasm and for him to reach his. He swiftly dragged her along with him into a sitting position where she would be on top of him and would move at her own pace. The nurse kept moving up and down, at the same soft and loving pace he just set earlier and gave him a sheepish smile in between kisses. He ran his fingers through her brown mane with his left hand and wrapped the other around her waist until finally, he felt the familiar spasm in his groin and his sweet release inside of her. She moaned at the sensation of him filling her with his warm essence. Both were spent and panting, both were mind-blown by the experience they just shared. The gangster pulled away some brown locks that were clinging to her face and gently pushed them behind her ear.

For the very first time, they were looking at each other. He saw her in her true glory and she saw him in his most vulnerable.  Mary was scared of losing her husband, she was scared of him getting tired of her because she wasn't in the business and wasn't able to support him in his maneuvers. She feared not being suitable anymore, but she realized he was scared too. He didn't want to lose her either because she was the only one able to keep him together. She was the only one able to bring him peace at night. that he couldn't imagine the world without her. They were looking at each other with fear in their eyes and love for the other for a while, without a word. Mary gave him a tight smile and leaned her forehead against his as he was going limp inside of her.

« I'm glad you didn't kick me out. »

« Yeah.. me too. » He kept stroking her hair, petting it in order to soothe her heart. "I'll never let you go, Mary. I can't... I'll make it up to you. What happened meant nothing to me. I don't love that woman. I didn't enjoy the time with her... I don't want to lose you."

"You won't... You won't... but you broke my heart, Tom... you broke it. I forgive you, and I love you. I love you so much... Please, keep it in mind."

-TBC-

TB Headcanon: Their Haters

Headcanon: Their Haters

A/N: I'll tackle the difficult topic of them not being liked at all "in-universe". Of course, there are people who absolutely love them (more than their haters) 

xxxxxxxxxxx

Sara and Homelander worked really hard for their relationship to be as stable as it was today. It wasn't because they didn't have feelings for each other. Feelings were definitely here from the very beginning. Sometimes feelings weren't enough. Sara was terrified of being abandoned yet again. She had a fair share of bad relationships filled with people who either used her or didn't care for her. It made her crave attention. it made her crave crumbs of affection. She needed someone who would be focused on her and her only. Someone who wouldn't feel threatened by her fame and who wouldn't want to mold her into who she wasn't. As plagued as she was and as hard as Sara was trying to work on herself, it didn't stop Homelander from trying to do right by her. 

After all, he was plagued with insecurities of his own. He had been worried about this new relationship. After having been unlucky with women for as long as he could remember, Homelander didn't want to fall for a woman who would backstab him or who would manipulate him like the others did. he didn't want to be replaced by someone else, something else (her fans? pffftt he didn't like that so many people could set their eyes on his girl. He didn't like that they required her attention so much. ) and he didn't want to be heartbroken again. Madelyne broke his heart and Stormfront killed herself rather than stay with him. but together they worked just fine and found common ground and at the end of the day, Sara and Homelander always found a way to bounce back together.

So where was the issue? What was the problem? The others were. Everyone felt entitled to shove their opinion down the couple's throats. It didn't matter when these were positive and encouraging words. Dotty, her manager, was shipping them really hard and always tried to know everything, especially the very intimate and spicy details. It was a way for her to know how to sell her "product" to investors but also, a way for her to keep tabs on her protegée. Ashley was also very excited! She knew that this relationship would be positive for the Supe. He chose a well-known megastar who came from a minority group (so of course, that was great for the diversity points) and who had a sad background (her parents had been murdered and she was forced into an orphanage). For her, the pairing was a match made in heaven and she couldn't help but « gush » about it, in her very own way. That, again, was alright for Sara and Homelander.

What wasn't, was the negative reactions they got from people. It was beyond anything they could have thought of. Some of the fans hated the couple. Her fans didn't like this pairing because they thought she was settling for less. They thought of her as a goddess and he was a murderous nutjob who wasn't worth her time. He was a man-child, someone unreliable who would hurt Sara in the long run.  If it wasn't enough, some of her fans thought that he would force her to stop her career and immediately hated the guy. They didn't want Sara to stop singing and performing to become a superhero wife. She didn't care about their opinion, mostly because she knew she would keep singing. It was her career, what she was made for. He couldn't take it away from her because then, she wouldn't be happy. He didn't want her to be unhappy because that meant, she wouldn't be willing to care for him. 

 Sara had to deal with Homelander's fans. Oh, these fools... these fools who came from the cesspools Stormfront found them.  They accused her of distracting their Lord and saviors. They hated her so much, so loudly and so vocally that she sometimes was affected by what she read online.  Everywhere they read insults coming her way, from her being a freak,  A stupid singer, to her being a black woman. « She's not attractive enough for Homelander ». « I didn't know he could be with someone like her. They so don't match. », « I thought he had better tastes, she looks like a man. » « Why is she so dark ? » or « It's just some jungle fever, once he'll get over it, he'll dump her ass I'm pretty sure. » It was just the tip of the iceberg of the disgrace humanity could be. Sara had a lot of trouble handling the hateful comments on her social media or on the streets. It was even harder when she tried to spend some time with Homie outside. 

She often treated them to a nice restaurant or to a nice bar where they could share a couple of beers. Before they dated, she had a couple of joints she liked and she was known at and they always ended up in one of these because, in most regular bars or restaurants, they would look at them as if they were aliens and in this time and age, people would openly disrespect her in front of him. Sara had to control herself not to burst into anger and attack these humans and she had to calm down Homelander so he didn't laser their brains either. It became frustrating but it only had them even more determined to make their relationship work. It would take more than an angry mob to make Homelander stop dating Sara and the same went for her. They survive the worst that could have happened to both of them. 

Their love was forged through fire and would still go strong regardless of how many people agreed or disagreed with it. She was the only woman who made him feel that way, the only one he wanted to look at and love, the only one to give him goosebumps whenever he stared at her, and the only smile on the planet who killed his very own demons. She thought he was a rock in her ocean, the light in her darkness, and that infectious smile of his never failed to make her smile too. He was everything she dreamed of having one day and even more. Homelander might not have been a good person, he was a nutjob, a murderer and sometimes she was afraid of him BUT... He loved her. He tried his best with her and that was the most important for her. Yes. Together they experienced what it was to love and be loved without limits. They experienced how it felt to live without the other. Together, they learned how they could move mountains and that they never want to live in a world without one another.

You could hate them all you want, it didn't matter.

It never mattered, to begin with.

A vintage's touch: Rumours Rumours... - Tommy x Polly-

A vintage's touch: Rumours  Rumours... - Tommy x Polly-

// Just Tommy talking with Polly. They're discussing business, Michael but also Mary. 

xxxx

"Tommy...Tommy!...Tom!" -Polly's dry tone pulled Tommy Shelby out of his own brain. He was thinking, deeply thinking after an exchange he had with Alfie, a couple days before.  The Jewish gangster, while conducting business with Tommy, told him that a man was frequently visiting Mary at the Grace Institute. He described the man to Tommy and even told him that the streets said the stranger was also looking for Tommy, for business purposes.-

"Polly." -Tommy said her name, in order to give his brain some time to adjust to the present. She had noticed that her nephew was nervous, he was smoking cigarette after cigarette and was barely holding his anger in check. What could have possibly put him in such a mood? She puffed out some smoke and bent a little forward. Tommy's blue eyes looked down, where her elbows met the table and he narrowed his eyes.-

"You've said nothing ever since I set foot here. Nothing, except for my name. Talk to me."

"There's nothing to discuss right now." -She shrugged and shook her head- "Just... rumours I won't waste my time on."

"Are you sure?" -He didn't answer which made her lift a brow- "Just as I thought. You're going to mop around all day or you're going to tell me what this is about?" -She asked while inhaling some smoke.-

"There's a guy who's been visiting Mary more than once. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. Rumours are saying that he's trying to woo her and she's way too oblivious to do it, she thinks he's a potential new donor. Rumour has it that he's also trying to do business with me."

"Yet, you seem more worried about him visiting Mary than about him wanting to conduct business with you. So which is truly on your mind?"

He looked at the woman with a light frown on his forehead. How could he tell her that he suspected her son, his cousin, Michael, to be doing something against him? It was no secret that Michael wanted to take Tommy's throne. He wanted to be the new King of Birmingham and wanted to be at the head of the Peaky Blinders... of the Family. Polly had warned her boys about a potential war between the two of them and had advised that they each went their separate ways. She agreed to help Tommy if Michael was to be sent to America. She wanted to protect her child, Tommy could understand that, and he was courteous enough to allow Michael his exile to the new world. However, Tommy knew he kept sending letters to his Mary and he didn't like it. 

Michael used to like Mary, that was a secret to no one. She never returned his feelings and what was genuine attraction turned into an obsession. Mary became a symbol. She became Tommy's weakness in the eyes of Michael and he wanted to take her from him. Mary never wrote back to him, but that didn't deter the young man from writing letters to her. He'd tell her about the things he knew about her, things he learned from his mother or, as Tommy suspected, from potential spies. Either way, he didn't confront Polly about it, because he knew she'd find all the excuses in the world for her boy.  Tommy's jaw clenched and he ground his teeth. Polly puffed out her smoke and pointed a cigarette at him. 

"I don't like the fact he's seeing Mary that much. He's not interested in investing money. Clearly. Besides, if he wanted to conduct business with me, he knows where to find me."

"Do you have a name?" -Polly asked, an eyebrow lifted as she was probing her nephew with questions. She knew he would not tell her everything that was crossing his mind, but she also knew that he would want to alleviate his mind. Of course, he knew, Tommy knew everything that came and went in Birmingham. He would know the name of the man who was looking for his girl and who was stalking her -let's, not mince words here- The Shelby rubbed his chin and groaned lowly. 

"Archibald Worthington III. He has a fucking pompous name! he's British but he travels to the USA. I'm still looking into him because I refuse to believe that it's a coincidence that he goes around to Mary and wants to meet me at the same time! It sounds like a trap!"

"Do you honestly think that this is a plot against you?" -Polly lifted a brow- "Come on. Can't you believe that he wants to do business with you and he met Mary and fell for her?" -Tommy scoffed and rubbed his forehead- 

"He goes to the USA!  Polly! He's turning around Mary! I can't believe that it's not your son's doing!" he accused, waging his finger at the older woman. Polly gasped and inhaled some smoke. She was pissed off by the accusation, hurt that he brought it up again and accused her son to conspire against him again.-

"You're paranoid! Tommy! Michael is thriving in the USA! He is married and they're trying to have a child! Why do you think he's going to ruin your life? Do you think he's going to ruin your life when you're the one ruining your life???" She accused, her tone was dry and that ruffled his feathers. He stood up, hit the table with the palm of his hands and waged his finger at her. 

"I know what I'm doing! Polly! You can't fucking look at me and tell me that your son is not trying to steal my spot! He wants to be the king! He has always wanted to have what I have, to be who I am but he never will be! Mary is mine! Mary's fucking MINE!"

"Then GO CLAIM HER!" She yelled, running her hand through her hair. "How can you look at me and accuse my son of doing something he has no interest in? How can you look me in the eye and insult my son in front of me??? You're insulting me! You keep telling me that you don't care about Mary, that I'm wrong and that I didn't clock you from the moment you set your eyes on her! You pretend you're not into her and yet you're losing your mind because someone is trying to woo your girl!" -Tommy shut down again, his eyes wide open, staring at the woman before him with fury in his heart-

She was right. He was even more upset about the fact this stranger was stalking Mary than the fact he wanted to do business with him. He didn't like the idea that the young woman was vulnerable and it irritated him even more to learn that he was trying to seduce her. It was fear lingering at the back of his head, that someone would come and sweep her off of her feet. He didn't want her to meet with someone who could give her all the right things, all the things he couldn't give her. he looked at Polly who was defiantly staring at him. He was fuming, and blood was flooding his cheeks, but he grabbed a cigarette instead and lit it.

"I don't want to have an argument with you Polly. I don't want to insult you. I just don't like when new players come and try to take away what I've built so hard. I don't like this Archie guy and I don't feel good to know that he's visiting Mary. She's naive, she would not see him coming. If he wants to meet me, then so will he. I'll arrange for a meeting."

"Point taken." -Polly didn't forgive him but she decided to move forward. She resumed smoking her cigarette. She pointed her finger at him and nodded quietly.- "However, Tommy. If you want to make a move, you better make it fast. Mary might be naive, she also needs to know where you stand with her. She won't wait for you forever." She said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I'll have our people keep an eye on this Archibald. Perhaps he has another motive and perhaps he might become an enemy of the family."

"Thank you, Polly."

"Don't mention it, Tom." 

-TBC-

Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life and Death of Ishtar: What was to come?

Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life and Death of Ishtar: What was to come? 

// he's slowly acknowledging the fear he feels because of Pride.

What was to come? Death, certainly. Death was to expect. Was it for him? Was it for Ayesha? Was it for his sister and her disgusting lover? He could feel Death coming but wasn’t certain of the outcome of the upcoming war. Since when did the god of war feel fear? He wished that he could wrap his hands around his sister's throat. He wanted Elpis to beg for her life and to apologize to him. He needed her to repent for her old ways and bad decisions. He needed her to repent and become his. Even now. Even now as all hope was lost, the new All-father was hoping for Elpis to relinquish her love for the sin and come back to her family. Was it really the feelings he had or wasn’t he just trying to avoid war? How ridiculous! He thrived when there was a war. He was the most powerful when there was a war. He was molded by it, was the embodiment of it, why would he be afraid? 

Still! Ishtar could feel Death coming and he had no idea if it was his own. He had never thought about his own mortality and believed that he could live forever. Who would have been powerful enough to defeat him? He closed his eyes and ran his hand through his black mane. He did not regret his decisions. He did not regret his betrayal, because if he did, then Ishtar would have lost all of his resolve. He wouldn't have been able to face her. Deep down, fear had settled into his heart. The God of war was afraid of Sin. He didn't want to die and be sent to oblivion. He didn't want to be trapped within the sword of sin, forced to serve him until all of Eternity. He didn't want to...What was to come? No matter where he looked, there was Death awaiting at the end of the line. The God of War was determined to make the best of the situation and to be the one who would claim his sister's life. he was determined to be victorious, even if there was nothing else but HIM in existence. He would be ready for that war! Let them come! 

GoT: The house always wins

GoT: The house always wins

// I love these two, so so so much.

The princess was sitting in front of her vanity fair. A maid was brushing her hair and preparing it for the hairdo of the day. Her heart was heavy and she was upset to be unable to share with anyone how she felt, truly felt about the situation. With her former best friend, Missandei, she could at least allow her mind to wander away. She could think about a better future for herself and even voice wishes into the wind, hoping that they could somehow come to life. Her best friend was gone. Her sister held her future in her hands and the brother of the lover could not entertain conversations about Jaime. He couldn’t because he didn’t want to hurt Baahal by telling her to avoid keeping her hopes high. 

So the princess was left on her own, with her kind maid who was brushing her painstakingly long silver hair. Her eyes set upon her hands as they nervously tapped the wooden table of the vanity. She wanted to talk about Hope, about a future where she could marry Jaime. She wanted to talk about having a child of her own and how much she wanted to raise a happy little family with the Lannister. Of course, reality was worse than fiction. She knew that the minute they would tell the world they were together, the world would try to separate them. Jaime Lannister was the most hated man in Westeros and the princess was the most sought-after princess. She had suitors, plenty of them who wanted to circumvent the fact the queen married a bastard. She was an asset. She was a tool for them and they could not accept that someone else put his hands on her. 

Jaime And Baahal would need to fight tooth and nail to preserve their piece. She knew it, still, she imagined a world where she could have children with Jaime. She saw them with two kids. An older sister and a younger brother. She imagined their beautiful eyes. Perhaps purple, perhaps green… she had no idea. It changed all the time. They would be light blonde almost silver-haired. The little girl would look more like Jaime, a true Lannister beauty. She would have his energy, his cunning mind. She would be sweet and probably reserved. She would inherit a lot of her father's traits and Baahal would think she is the most perfect little girl in the world. The little boy would look more like her, perhaps he would have a darker skin color than his sister. He would be spunky, feisty, and probably very stubborn like she was. And he would be the most precious little boy ever. She could see it, she wanted it. She wanted to give Jaime the chance to be a father too and in her fantasy, she always imagined him there, training his kids, teaching them when he had the time to do so. He would be a good father, a better father than Tywin. He would be there for his children and the thought made Baahal shed a tear.

She wiped it off of her face and took a big sigh. What if….. what if the gods didn’t bless her with children? What if they denied her this joy? Maybe Tyrion was right and Baahal shouldn’t entertain a future with Jaime. Maybe she couldn’t allow herself to feel this way and picture a different life for herself. Still….. she wanted it. She needed it, more than anything in the whole world. A life with Jaime. The love of her life….. the moon to her stars. She couldn’t go against her sister's wishes and she couldn’t go against the gods. She made an oath. She was loyal to the house Targaryen and if her house wanted something from her, she would give it to the house. After all, the House always wins. 

Kyreris: A bee in the trap

Slender fingers tapped against the wooden table of the restaurant he dined at. Sharp purple eyes stared at the waiter who anxiously waited for him to order. Viserys wasn’t alone, Angel his “best friend” was sitting across the table with him. It was quite a contrast, to see the neat suit-wearing, tall silver-haired pale man next to a man who looked like he belonged to a grunge band. Long black wet hair, rings on all of his fingers, a five o’clock beard he didn’t care about, and his fingers were a little bit blackened by the use of cigarettes and other drugs. His teeth weren’t aligned anymore due to fights and bad dental hygiene. He didn’t look like a bum, more like Ozzy Osborn in his worst years. Still, he tagged along with Viserys. He was his best friend after all, and his lead musician. 

He was the one who insisted on having dinner with Viserys. He was upset that his friend had been MIA for months

 now. Oh, they talked over the phone, through texts and whatnot but Vis didn’t attend the parties anymore. He didn’t get shitfaced with his band anymore. He didn’t live the same lifestyle and that became a problem for Angel. There clearly was a woman involved and if the tabloids were right about it, that woman was a famous one. Strangely enough, Viserys didn’t talk about her, he didn’t mention her, which prompted Angel to suggest they had dinner together. 

Viserys was oblivious to his friend’s scorn. He didn’t see life in a negative way anymore. Why would he, when he had found bliss in the arms of Kyra Lannister? Why would he when he was slowly becoming the best version of himself? He had stopped doing hard drugs and while he had the occasional weed blunt, he still worked on weaning himself off of it too. He had a clear mind, better skin, and better physical condition as a whole but on top of it, what really made the Dragon King Happy was the love of his life. Kyra made him happy. She made a man out of him and his thoughts were mostly focused on her. 

She was the impulse he needed to become a better brother. It was hard, honestly hard to make up for his past behavior. Baahal forgave him, but he could see the pain he had inflicted upon her. He could see how nervous she was around him and how sad he made her. He had to take it, after all, he had to see the pain and distress he had caused if he wanted to do better by his sisters. At least he was doing it right. His sisters forgave him. He just needed to win them over and earn their trust and this was something he would be doing.  Kyra was the impulse he needed to snap out of his destructive behavior and truly become the Dragon King. He loved to imagine what she’d think of him that night. He was wearing a red suit, with hints of black and gold. He was wearing her colors and he made sure she knew how good he looked that night. 

“Mister….” He looked at the name tag of the waiter. “Alexander! A friend suggested I try your establishment. It’s said to be one of the finest on the block. I expect impeccable service, I don’t take no for an answer and, you must never speak when I don’t allow you to. Unless it’s for something urgent and I can’t stress it enough. If the whole place isn’t on fire, wait until I call you to say something. Do you understand?” The waiter nodded and managed to say a weak “yes”. Viserys flashed him a wolffish grin before he focused his gaze on his friend. 

“You’re unbelievable, Vis. I’ve never seen you in such a setting.”

“We never got the chance to do it, A. There is a first time for everything right?” He then furrowed his brows and tilted his head to the side, now facing him completely. “Why did you want to see me?” 

“We don’t see you around anymore, Vis. What happened? Is the band still okay?” 

“I didn’t give up on you. I just needed a break. We’re good Angel. I’m good! Better than good.”

“Then prove it, Vis. Let’s put on a new show. Let’s get together and write and sing.” He encouraged. Viserys didn’t see any malice from his friend, but in truth, Angel was being afraid to lose the hold he had on Viserys. If he didn’t do drugs anymore how could he be manipulated? “Rumors have it that you’re seeing someone?” Vis shrugged. 

“With those rumors, I am dating a thousand women per day. Don’t listen to the paps, A. I’m just figuring things out with my family that’s all.” He didn’t like to lie but he wanted to protect her safety and it was best if their relationship was just between the two of them. His lips hurt though because he wanted to tell his best friend all about how great Kyra was and how much he loved her but he had to swallow those words down.

Angel didn’t believe him. Vis had tried rehab a long time ago and he always failed. If it worked, someone might have a hand in this and he was determined to find who. Viserys, oblivious as he was, was simply daydreaming about his girl. About the wonderful dress, she would be wearing or the next photo shoot she’d have.  He realized that he was missing her, the sound of her voice, her laughter, and even more, her warmth. She was away and he fought the desire to call her. Instead, he grabbed his phone and typed:

[text: Lionness]

“I miss you, Kitten. I am with my bestie tonight. Remind me to introduce you to him if you feel comfortable about it. I just want to hug you and fall asleep on you. TMI? Love you. Enjoy yourself 🐉

The Boys: The Bold and the Beautiful

The Boys: The Bold and the Beautiful

// These two toxic beans! I love them. 

Sara sat on her bed. Her silky black mane fell onto her chest and her black eyes adjusted to the light of her bedroom. What were you doing, girl? She berated herself for being unable to keep Homelander out of her thoughts. How could she be able to do something like this? He came into her life when she thought she was content with the way it was. She liked to believe that she had moved forward with her life and was able to spend time with herself. She had a nice routine: Laundry, reading, eating at restaurants, or cooking at home. She was fine with her own company and could freely be herself and that was it. Her fans gave her some love, and her job gave her some love... 

So why would she bother with finding someone? Why would she bother with having someone in her life? Well... Sucks to be you, Sara, because Homelander wrecked everything like a wrecking ball. He came into her life and made her crave his company. She realized that she wasn't feeling so good on her own and she wanted affection, attention, and love. She wanted to be loved and she wanted to give her love to someone. Homelander awoke that feeling inside her and since then, she couldn't take him off of her mind. Any other sane person would have told her that she was not picking the right partner, mostly because Homelander was a nutjob. He was a psychopath, a man who had killed people who had just slighted him. He was a man who on the one hand wanted to be loved and on the other didn't care if he killed them all. 

Still... He was not a nutjob with her. That was the most important for her. He wasn't a nutjob with her. he was into her and she could tell that he had not anticipated it either. She could relate to him, after all, she had tried to forget about him. She thought that it was just a one-time thing. Still, she wasn't able to do it. She was craving his touch, his laugh, his relaxed face. She was craving his company and his attention. She bought a lot of things for him: changing clothes, pajamas, and underwear! She anticipate his return to her place and was excited about seeing him again.  She was bold, he was beautiful. She was soft and loving and so fucking self-serving -but could we blame her?- She was attached to the man and nothing could make it go away. Sara was a bit worried, she didn't want to meet another "Brett". She didn't want to have another person trying to demean her or envy her career and fame. She didn't want someone who didn't love her. But did he love her? Would he be able to feel anything for her? Did she really care if he did or as long as he got her what she wanted, was she satisfied?"

-TBC-

Klasma: Magic in the air

"Magic wasn't fading. She could still feel it run through her veins. She could still use it and draw power from her ancestors and the lives sacrificed in order to curse her. However, she felt it, a shift in the astral plane. A shift in the air. She could feel it, the rise of another deity, the perversion of pure Magic. 

Evil was on the rise once again and the witch had to find a way to put an end to it. Magic wasn't fading, but its purity was in danger, and with the impending danger the rogue witches were, she had to leave Mystic Falls in order to escape them"

xxxx

Nëela didn't keep her feelings to herself. her curse made it so that she couldn't hold back lest she wanted to suffer. She usually would let them flow, let her heart speak, and her emotions would never be hidden. Nëela wasn't a liar, and if anything, you could trust a word she said because she would tell you the absolute truth, even when that truth hurt. 

Doya: Honeymoon on Mars

Doya: Honeymoon on Mars

 // I love these darlings. I love them very much. While the muse is dormant for the moment, I love to imagine them going on hunts, eating burgers, and spending time together.

xxxx

She was on cloud 9, something Oya couldn't really explain if she was asked about it. She felt this way because now, she was officially part of the family. Long before she proposed to Dean, they were already living as a married couple because they both knew they were "it".  Still, she was on cloud 9. Dean suggested they should go to the south, close to the beach. It wasn't because of the beach. By Chuck, Dean hated the beach and so did Oya. They did enjoy the smell of the sea and the fresh wind that beat their faces. They did enjoy eating ice creams and he knew that Oya would enjoy hunting monsters they didn't have up North. They didn't have to stop an impending apocalypse. It was just the two of them and that made them happy. 

Oya tilted her head to the left, so she could look at Dean who was lost in his thoughts. She couldn't help but smile at him and bent forward to kiss his shoulder. He tilted his head to glance at her and smiled back. She was cute, extremely cute since she proposed and Dean enjoyed watching her be excited to spend time with him. It'd been 5 years now since they met and Oya never tired of spending time with him. She was the best partner he could have asked for, the best hunter to work cases with, and the best lover he ever had. Oya had always made him feel loved. She had always made him laugh and feel loved. She had always been able to welcome him, no matter how complex he was, how scared he was, and how difficult it was for him at times. She welcomed him and stood by him over the years. 

He was on cloud 9, something he couldn't really explain if he was asked about it. He felt this way because she was by his side. She was faithful, loyal, kind, and loving. She was fun and told him that he was her priority. Oya was showing him. She didn't leave him, even when he was at his worst, even when he was pushing her away, even when he didn't have the words to tell how he truly felt. She understood him, she was patient with him, and she genuinely loved him. He was safe with her, he was safe with her.