Growing old

You know, I used to believe that gray hair was something to be ashamed of and to try and hide. Everywhere I looked, it was seen as something to avoid at all costs, the same with wrinkles, the same with any sign of you growing older. I was made to think that the best years of my life would be before I reached 30 so I dreaded turning 30. I thought that if I didn't have my life figured out by then, I would have missed everything and would have failed at life. 

I'll turn 35 in a couple of months and frankly... All of those worries are bullshit to me. I have gray hair, and I kinda like it, I even joke about turning into Storm (although it'll take some time before I get there) because I like these. I know it's the stress causing my hair to turn grey but I decided to welcome the change. (not gonna lie, that took some work. the first gray hair had me crying over it for a while).  I'm at that age where I'm living my best life -so to speak- and doing things I would never even dream of when I was younger. 

I have met amazing women, all in their 40s who are kicking ass and taking names! Therapy, medication and a great support system help(ed) me get into a better mental space and I have learned to sever toxic ties and start to put myself first. Getting older is not a dread anymore, because aside from my desire to go to bed earlier, to be tucked in my bed by 10, to avoid nightclubs because I don't see the appeal anymore, and to try new things, it's not a punishment. Is it? Getting older means knowing yourself better and if anything, I like the person I am now compared to the one I used to be. I love the friends I have now and the opportunities I can welcome. 

So yeah, I'm now curious about the person I'll be when I turn 40. Perhaps I would finally dye my hair pink! (or wear more pink wigs! because damnit!)  Perhaps I would bleach my hair and let it be silver, so I would be like Storm. Hopefully, my book would FINALLY be out! who knows? Life doesn't end by 40, it just begins. that's what I learned by getting older and I wish, I really wish I would have known it when I was younger.