Got (Modern): One step forward

// Bäahal and Jaime discuss Bäahal's family "traditions" and the very urge she feels about leaving them. 

xxxx

Jaime noticed something had changed in the way Bäahal behaved. Her face became somber, her features less relaxed. She was sitting on the sofa, her knee was starting to tap at a fast pace and she scrolled down her phone. He noticed the displeased rictus on her face and the crease on her forehead. Jaime walked toward her and sat on the couch next to her. He put his hand on the shaking leg, which prompted her to look at him. Her purple eyes were intensely staring at his face and she shrugged. 

"Talk to me, Firecracker."

"I....." -Her eyes were wet and she couldn't stop shaking her knee. She put the phone on the screen and chewed at her bottom lip. She wanted to speak but didn't know just how she could start the conversation.-

"I'm here." -He simply said, his hand stroking her thigh. He had not seen her like this in a long while and Jaime didn't like to see her scared and upset. She was about to cry but was fighting back the tears. The only moments that had Bäahal feel like this were when her family was involved.-

"I...it's my family. One of my aunts had just released an interview in the newspapers. I have...I'm exhausted." -She confided in him and sighed deeply.- "She insulted my dad's legacy. She insulted my siblings... she insulted me." -She sighed and moistened her lips.- "In the good old fashion Targaryen way, so it wasn't direct."

"The old hag! Did she say something new?" -Bäahal sighed and ran her hand through her long silver locks. Jaime was barely containing his anger, but he chose not to let it pass through so she could focus on her own emotions instead of trying to calm him down.-

"She did...Most of my family just pretends I'm not really the biological child of my dad. They treat me like a stranger, like some adopted kid they kept because they could get cookie points. They could appear as noble saviors, and I should forever stick to the grateful child role they forced upon me." -She looked down, lowering her head so she could look at her knees.- "Jaime, I have a complicated family. You know it, I told you about them."

"Not everything, but I get it. They don't really like you." -She swallowed a lump and tucked some hair behind her ear-

"They hate me. I am the stain on the family history. My dad messed up when he fathered a child with an outsider. They could have forgiven him if I wasn't brought to the limelight."

"They wanted you to stay hidden. to pretend you didn't exist. That's cruel."

"My dad had many flaws, but he wouldn't have abandoned me. He couldn't and I am grateful that he didn't because when mom died, I was still a teenager and I would have been struggling." -She muffled a sob and yanked her head back so she could look at the ceiling.-

"Bäahal. What do you want me to do? Do you want to tell me about that article? or maybe you'd want me to make some tea? some hot cocoa?" -She wiped a couple tears off of her face and lowered her head to look at Jaime again. Green eyes stared at violet hues and she shook her head. right now, all she needed was for him to stay by her side.-

"I just need you to stay here with me. I'm so sorry, Jaime. I'm trying really hard not to cry but I can't help myself." -She curled on a ball and gently laid her head against his lap. Jaime's hands ran through the silver locks of the heiress. He massaged her scalp in order to soothe her so she would be more comfortable- 

Jaime didn't speak for a while. Instead, he let Bäahal talk to him about how much she loathed her extended family. Things had started to warm up with her siblings, very slowly but at least Viserys was leaving her alone and Daenerys was far more pleasant to be around since she had started to date Jon Stark. The truth, however, was that the road towards reconciliation was actually very long and difficult. For each step forward, there were a thousand steps back. Her Aunt Visenya was a despicable human being. She was nostalgic for the old nobility, the old times when the Targaryens were absolute rulers of Westeros and she refused to accept anything different from the way things were before. Daenerys had fallen into disgrace in her eyes when she married Khal Drogo. She redeemed herself at the death of her husband and the ruthless way she was handling the family estate. She later lost all credibility for the Aunt when she started to warm up to that Stark boy. 

The real grief, Bäahal suspected, was that Daenerys was starting to warm up to her. How could she accept the existence of Bäahal? How could she defend her sister in the press? How could she even allow Bäahal to have a life, to appear in newspapers, to be seen as if everything was normal? Bäahal was to be shunned, hidden, dismissed, and essentially not to be heard of. She was the child of sin, born out of wedlock between a Targaryen and an outsider. Of all the crimes Aerys II did, Bäahal sometimes wondered which one was the worst for them. Was it because it was an outsider? Was it because she wasn't pale as snow? Was it because Aerys II cheated on his wife? Which sin was the worst? Growing up, Bäahal thought that the color of her skin was the worst thing that could ever be because her step-mother associated it with the sin of her cheating father. It was proof of her never belonging to the family because she didn't look like them. 

But she did. Bäahal was a gorgeous woman, who was the spitting image of her father. She was a gorgeous woman who couldn't be hidden or contained or treated worse than a pet; She wasn't responsible for the decisions of her father and she shouldn't be held accountable for these. She wasn't responsible for her existence and she did her best to exist and become a good person. Yet, her aunt Visenya made sure in that article to highlight the fact the rest of the family despised Bäahal and her socialite life. They considered she contributed nothing to society and was mostly parading around with her good looks, going from one scandal to another rather than being actually relevant. She lamented that her cousin, Aerys II couldn't foresee the issues his actions would bring to the family and blamed Daenerys, Viserys, and their late mother Rhaella, for not having done the right thing when the child came to their door.  Of course, all of this had been hidden in plain sight with very pompous expressions that would be lost on most if not all of the readers, but it wasn't lost on Daenerys who texted her sister, frantically so and requested a moment with her siblings so they could gather and see how to respond to such insult. 

"I am so exhausted...Jaime..." -She said, sobbing softly on his knees. "They like to boast about the long history of our family but sincerely, it's shit! It's fight after fight, after fight. They all want to come on top, to be the dominant family and this old hag has always hated dad. She has always hated me. During Christmas, she would not even acknowledge me. I should not care.."

"Bäahal. I understand why it would hurt. I don't share this family dynamic, but I can see why it would hurt. She's supposed to be family. She's supposed to welcome you but she doesn't. She not only rejects you when you're in private, but she also does it in public." -He kept massaging her scalp, trying to soothe her heart.- "She's not right, you know? All the things she said about you are nothing but lies. You are amazing, Bäahal. You are one of a kind! One of One! I've never met a woman like you. No matter where I look at, I've never met a woman like you. I've never met someone who makes my heart beat that fast. I've never met someone I would like to have with me, all the time. Bäahal, your family is complicated to say the very least but if there is one thing I know for sure, it's that they are wrong about you. They don't know you but I do." -He felt her shift on his lap, and he helped her sit back on the couch. 

"Jaime...You are so kind. Thank you for your beautiful words." -She said, pressing a kiss to his in gentle kiss.- "I love you. I love you for thinking so well about me. I love you for being so kind to me. I love you for embracing me, as I am. You're right, she doesn't know me. She would never know me and she's wrong about my dad. He made a mistake and it hurt everyone, including him, but I wasn't a mistake. I refuse to see myself through her eyes. I refuse to see myself as less than. I don't care about this article. It doesn't matter. they don't matter..."

 Jaime cupped both cheeks and gently pressed his lips to hers in a soft peck. He mouthed  "I love you too." in between kisses and ended up pulling her into a hug and cradling her in his arms. She needed to have some comfort and he was going to bring it to her that night. 

-TBC-

A vintage touch: "One hot night."

 // A little something with the two of them sleeping next to each other.  

xxxx

Arrow House, 1 AM:

Mary couldn't sleep. The night was one of the hottest they had known and despite their attempts at keeping the room fresh, Mary could feel her brown curl stick to her face, the sweat that made her nightgown cling to her curvaceous frame. Her green eyes were looking at the ceiling when she heard a slight shift on the bed. Tommy wasn't sleeping either, so she turned around, and laid on her sides while his cerulean eyes set upon her beautiful face.? He looked at the beauty spot above her upper lip and looked at her plump lips. Suddenly, all Tommy wanted to do was to kiss her, so he cupped her cheek. She gave him a soft smile and shifted on the bed, closing the distance between the two of them.  His big blue eyes stared at her intently, as if he wanted to see her soul and read all the secrets that were hidden there. He wanted to know how she was feeling if she was happy if he was doing things the right way. He didn't know she went to visit Johnny Dogs and Curly and she hoped that he wouldn't know the truth until she was ready.

She leaned into his touch, a smile gently graced her features, and she kept her eyes on him. She didn't mind the heat, not when she could stare into Tommy's eyes and feel safe. They were used to not finding sleep from time to time so it didn't bother them to be awake and look at each other in silence. The silence was comfortable. She couldn't hold back a warm smile and gently brought her hand to the back of his hand. She had been trying to surprise The Shelby by learning everything she could about horses. She loved animals and she picked up Tommy's love for horses. He was either riding a horse, either taking care of the horses back in the mansion's stables, or...He was still in contact with May Carleton, the beautiful horse trainer he met a while ago. Mary had never been around horses before and she wanted to properly know how to care for them but never had the opportunity to do so until a couple weeks ago. 

"Hey..." -She cooed to him.-

"Hey..." -He crooned- "The heat is properly killing me." -He joked a little before he leaned forward so their noses could brush against one another-

"The heat is killing me too.." -She whispered before she rubbed her nose to his- "Yet, you're still very close to me. Despite the heat."

"Despite the heat..." -He crooned, his thumb gently stroking the cheek of the young woman. She was beautiful, in the dim light of the bedroom. He couldn't tear his eyes off of her face, taking in the curves of her plump lips, the lovely beauty spot on top of her left eyebrow. He loved the way she was looking at him as if he was the most beautiful thing in the world-

Johnny dogs visited Arrow's house to see Tommy and Mary asked him to teach her about horses. She wanted to know all there was to know about them so she could take better care of the horses of Arrow House but also go on rides with Charlie instead of waiting for Tommy to be available. He questioned her because he could feel that she wasn't being fully honest with him and the young woman ended up admitting that she wanted to know how to ride horses so she could also go on rides with Tommy. She wanted to share something in common with Tommy, something that could help her connect better with Tommy. Horses calmed him and she wanted to be able to calm him in moments of need. Johnny was moved by her request and asked her to meet with him twice a week. He would take her to Charlie Strong so she would learn how to mount and proper care of a horse and he would teach her on her way there the fundamentals. 

It was taking its time, but she knew how to ride by now. She learned how to feed them and was now learning how to groom the horses. She wanted to be perfect, to have the knowledge needed to be a good companion for Tommy. She wanted to see the smile on his lips when she would suggest they'd go for a ride. Her heart started to beat faster, to the point that he could notice the change in her breathing. His eyes narrowed and he lifted a brow, questioning her in silence about the sudden change. She pressed her forehead against his and whispered. 

"I'm okay. Don't worry." -She gently cupped his cheek with one hand and she stroked his cheek.- "It is just a very hot night." -He pushed one of her heavy curls off of her face and smiled at her. She was telling the truth, which reassured him.- "Is it wrong that I want to kiss you right now?"

"Why don't you try and find out, eh?" -He crooned and cupped the back of her neck to keep her in place. She pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss, purring in between their lips as she gave him a tender kiss.-

He returned it in kind, not knowing her little plan or anticipating the way her little gesture would touch him. Mary was nurturing, She cared for Tommy in a way that he had never been cared for. She wanted him to feel loved, to know that there would be someone who would have his back no matter what. Little did she know that while she was planning something cute for the two of them, there had been people who didn't have their best interest in mind. Michael was one of them, but her mother -whom she wanted nothing to do with- was also fomenting plans to ruin her daughter's life and make her leave the UK. They were unaware and happy in their little bubble and that was all that mattered.

-TBC-

Witchy hour: Hometown glory

// I miss these sweet buns!

Mary stared at her reflection in the mirror, her hair was wet from the shower she had just taken. Klaus had been away for quite some time, and while the witch was used to being alone again, she couldn't stop thinking about him. Was he alright? Did he need some help? She had no idea; honestly, she didn't really have the time to think about it. Elijah came to Mystic Falls and she had already met him three times. Damon had discovered her true nature and she knew that it only was a matter of time before Elena's gang all knew about her. She also felt that there was a shift in the air, something darker was coming her way. She felt that she had to be prepared. She thought that she had to expect anything to happen to her and be prepared for a fight, perhaps the biggest she would have to do. She ran her hand through her wet hair and walked toward the bedroom. She sat on the bed and looked at her phone and noticed it was ringing. The name on it made her blink as she didn't expect to hear from him after so long. She picked up the phone.

"H...Hi..." -She blushed but couldn't contain her smile. She heard the chuckle of the hybrid over the phone-

"Hello, love." -He grinned and walked circles in the hotel room he was staying in. It was just a temporary hide-out until he found an apartment.- "Did you miss me?"

"Klaus... I--" -She swallowed hard and decided to wait a little bit before she answered him- "Where are you?"

"I can't say but I am not back, I can tell you that much." -He furrowed his brows- "You sound off, Mary. What happened?"

"I have missed you." -She conceded that much. Her golden eyes averted from her knees to the wall in front of her. She started to swing her legs in a way to self-soothe-

"But?" -He furrowed his brows- "What. Happened?" -He repeated, catching her breathing becoming uneven all of a sudden.- 

She was trying to hold information from him, which didn't please the hybrid at all. He knew it was something that was affecting her and he didn't like the way she sounded. She had missed Klaus a great deal, far more than she had anticipated. She had wished to see him again, after a couple weeks away from him. Seeing Elijah after Klaus went on his way had caused her a great deal of emotional distress. Elijah noticed that something was different, something in her attitude. She was far more defiant and direct than the last time they met. She knew the truth because Klaus had decided to tell her and instead of devastating her like the Original thought it would, it became harder to charm his way into her heart. Elijah was looking for Klaus, but he also had an interest in the witch and he didn't want to lose the control he had over her. She was an asset, something that could help his family and he didn't want to lose her. It started off really badly because she told him off, even used her magic to push him away and that was still making the witch shake to this day. 

"I have...Elijah's here, Klaus. He's looking for you. He talked to me three times already and it never went well." -She finally said in one big breath.- 

"Did he hurt you?" -That was his first reply to her, ignoring the fact his brother was looking for him (because he always was), Klaus was concerned with Elijah trying to hurt Mary. His brother would not resort to physical violence but Elijah didn't need violence to hurt or coerce people.-

"He didn't. for now." -She paused, her voice broke and she found herself trying to muffle a sob with the warm palm of her hand- "He is looking for you and he won't leave me alone until he knows where you are. I... something else happened."

"What?" - "his voice was tight, he was worried. Why was he worried? that would have to wait later-

"Damon Salvatore found out I was a witch. He came to my shop, confronting me about you. He forced me to use my powers on him..." -She heard Klaus growl over the phone.-

Everything was right before the Salvatore brothers decided to get involved. Elijah was already very difficult to get rid of but to have the brothers interfere with both her safety and tranquility? He couldn't have that. Mary could handle herself, he knew that, but he still didn't like the idea of having her bothered by the Salvatore brothers. He knew she might have other secrets, other enemies, perhaps she was even running away from a threat he had no idea of. It wouldn't distract him from his own mission and he wouldn't stop what he was doing to go back to Mystic falls. Still... he was bothered. 

"Did he threaten you?"

"I can handle myself, Klaus. He tried but I gave him a taste of my power he's not going to forget any time soon. however... my cover is blown and I am very sure that Elena and her gang would very often stop by my shop."

"Still, love, you sound worried." -He pointed out. She rolled her eyes and used her magic to dry her hair.- "I don't like the sound of it."

"I am...because it's a lot to deal with at the same time. I.....There are way too many supernatural creatures in the same town. There are witches hunting me and they would find me, Klaus. I can handle the Salvatore brothers. I can handle Elena and her gang...I am not sure I can handle the creatures that are hunting me down at the same time as facing everybody and their mama." -She chuckled and clenched her fingers on her towel- "I don't want to leave Mystic Falls. I don't want to give up on my peaceful life here."

"I will be back sooner than you know." -he couldn't say more than these words. He wanted to come back and hold her in his arms. It was a lot to deal with, some mess she didn't need to deal with, all because people were looking for him- "Hold on, love."

"Klaus...." -He stroked his chin and grunted.-

"Yes?" -She took a deep breath and put one foot on the bed. she wrapped her free arm around her leg and leaned her forehead against her knee-

"I miss you. I had to say it out loud. I fucking miss you...SO.. whatever happens, please, come back like you promised me." -She pinched the bridge of her nose and pushed her forehead harder against her knee-

"I am a man of my word, Mary. I will come back to Mystic Falls." -And he would deal with Elijah and any other stupid people who would try to bother the witch.-

"Thank you. Whatever you're doing right now, I hope it goes according to your plan. Goodnight."

"Goodnight" -He hung up the phone.-

The witch pulled her other leg up and wrapped both arms around her legs. She actually felt relief after hearing the voice of the hybrid. She also realized that she was missing him far more than she anticipated and she wanted to see him again. She didn't speak about everything, partly because he might not have had the time to listen to her -he was in the middle of his business!- but she was also trying to keep her out of her bullshit, so he wouldn't feel overwhelmed with her issues. Klaus wasn't stupid, he knew that she was worried, the tone in her voice betrayed that much. Given her history, he realized that there were enemies of hers that might potentially find her and disturb her peace. He couldn't take the risk to leave her to deal with danger on her own. This pesky little witch had enemies she'd been trying to escape from over the centuries, but he didn't want her to also deal with his brother and the Salvatore brothers. Klaus was bothered, but he decided to focus on his mission first. He would be back to her very soon. He would. Would he? 

-TBC-

copg: Life and Death of gaea: what is to come?

 // Because the All Mother spoke to me. I had to make her speak a little bit. 

xxxx

Gaea looked at the beautiful landscape before her. She ran her hands over her arms as a fresh breeze brushed over her skin. It was true, she was losing power to her daughter and it became easier to notice. She could feel her energy deplete and noticed that she couldn't perform the same miracles that she used to before. That could only mean one thing, she was dying. Her brown eyes looked at the beautiful sea and she relished in the calming sound of the crashing waves in front of her, reminding her of her favorite son, Leviathan. They got along well, two gods who were complimentary. The oceans were home to Life, after all, and their untamable nature echoed Gaea's true nature. She couldn't be tamed, she couldn't be predictable. No matter how hard her offspring tried, they could never predict her next move. They could never control her. Life....couldn't be contained. 

Ayasha nearly succeeded in having her mother join their forces against Elpis and Pride. The goddess of knowledge had figured out the All-Mother rather quickly and exposed her truth to the ruthless goddess. Gaea was a coward who was more focused on staying alive than anything else. She was the most selfish of them all because she wanted to be worshipped and gave most of her attention to the creatures she made because they celebrated her, worshipped her, and they sacrificed each other for her sake. She was needed, unlike her children, she was needed by humans and that stroked her ego. Gaea was capricious and a hypocrite. She chastised her children for murdering her husband, but she knew what they were planning to do and still let it happen. She knew Ayasha had planned to kill Elpis and Ishtar couldn't bring himself to do it, and yet, she still let it happen. Khaos's death didn't matter. Nothing but Gaea really mattered to Gaea. 

Elpis was supposed to be the child born out of pure love between her parents. Gaea loved Khaos. He was the only being she eventually cared about besides herself. Gaea didn't need to give birth to one last child for the universe was already working without Hope, but her desire to show Khaos the depths of her love led the two of them to make a love child. Elpis was born, not because she was needed, but because she was wanted. Upon her birth, Gaea realized that she had birthed the very being that could destroy them all if she was made aware of her true potential. She was both Hope and Despair, both Light and Darkness, both Destruction and Creation. She was Balanced! She was Power and she scared her parents and the rest of the family.

Ignorance should have been bliss, but Ayasha knew the truth and if she didn't, she would find out because that was her true nature as the goddess of Knowledge. Hiding the truth would have backfired on Khaos and Gaea so they brought the children into the plan and altogether, they gaslighted and groomed Elpis into being a submissive and kind soul. How long would it last? gaea had no idea. Perhaps, her daughter would have awakened without the impulsion of Pride. Perhaps, she would have gone on a rampage, who knew? Gaea wanted to have nothing to do with it, so she hid among mortals. She hid well but Ayasha and Ishtar both found her and disrupted her peace. Both forced her to admit that she had always been scared of her daughter and had always tried to run away from her. Both forced her to acknowledge her weakness despite her many attempts to hide behind some bravado. Gaea was scared! 

Gaea was weak. She knew that it was a matter of time before Elpis became so powerful and so in tune with Life throughout Earth and the Universe, that Gaea would be nothing but the shell of the goddess she'd been before. Perhaps she should take the advice of Ayasha and join forces with them in one last bid to save her own skin. Perhaps she should accept their offer! Perhaps she should go and hold onto the Hope of her own survival. How ironic... Here she was, hoping for her survival and more than anything else, hoping for her daughter to forgive her for her cowardice. Would Elpis forgive her? Would she keep her alive? She had no idea of what was to come

-TBC-

musings: True love

" I don't know how I feel."

Chaos. There is chaos in one's head. Sometimes she didn't know what was going on in her head. She couldn't understand the pain that was holding her in a chokehold. She didn't know where it came from, and why it didn't stop. She didn't know how to soothe the ache in her heart nor how to describe it.  Chaos, there is chaos in one's head and the dreaded emptiness that swallowed everything inside her. It sucked the joy off of the memories she had, emphasized the distress of other memories, and sent her body into an acute "flight or fight mode." Where did the danger come from? what kind of danger was it? She was blinded by everything she was feeling at once and nothing at the same time. 

"I don't know how I feel, and I don't know what to do with it."

Sometimes there is no answer. Sometimes the only thing to do is to leave it alone. It's to accept that sometimes you would not be able to have an answer to everything. Sometimes, it doesn't matter, at least, not when chaos is happening. She thought that the only thing she could do was to seek the company of those she loved and those who loved her too. Talking to them, listening to them, and allowing them to embrace her heart and soul was the only thing that could soothe her heart. It was the only thing that could silence the voices in her head, and chase away the fear that had crept into her heart. 

Love. Love...How could someone love her? how could she find her place in this world? Everything felt as if she would be forgotten and thrown in a bin because she was too complicated, or too hard to handle. Sometimes, it felt as if the people she loved would end up hating her because she wasn't the person they loved anymore... or she had never been loved to begin with. Parasitic thoughts! Overwhelming thoughts. How could she reach out to those she loved when fear crippled her? How could she reach out and ask for a hug when the only thought she had in mind was how much she'd bother them and didn't deserve their love. 

Sometimes she hated her brain and the way it kept telling her that she should just be gone, permanently, so at least she wouldn't be a burden to the people she loved. So they could have a better life.. because yes, her brain was not rational. her brain was not logical. her brain was... her brain was her worst enemy. the worst at decoding her emotions. The worst at listening to the truth. the worst at loving her. She was the worst for herself and shame and guilt made it way too difficult for her to speak those words. Perhaps, perhaps they would feel better if I wasn't here. perhaps they didn't miss me. perhaps they would cheer when I'm gone. Why would they love / me/? why would they care about me? 

And the cycle of lies keeps going. 

And the cycle of self-hatred keeps going.

And she's tired of this, tired of herself, of everything. 

But love... love keeps her afloat. Love, true love, saves her. 

Love.. true love is everything she needs.

COPG: Life of Elpis: A Clean Slate

// Elpis is thinking... She is musing... She is not very happy. 

xxx

She was given a second chance at life. It was indubitable. Her pantheon had tried to erase her true self from the beginning. They manipulated her into living a subdued life so she wouldn't be a threat to her family and the other pantheons. They made sure she ignored her true powers so she wouldn't have the hunger for more. Her pantheon betrayed her, from Leviathan who wanted to claim her as his betrothed to Ayasha who wanted her dead, and Ishtar being unable to carry her plan out.  They tried to silence her. They tried to destroy her. They tried to erase her from all of existence and from the memory of mankind.

But they failed!

She was given a second chance at life and she felt lonely. Before her curse, the young goddess managed to get along well with other gods. She had friends among them, some of them even became her favorite like Hecate and Athena. Where were they when they regained the memory of her existence? They didn't even try to find her. they didn't even try to reach out to her. they didn't even try. Where were they? Yet, she couldn't help but wish she could see them again, rekindle her relationship with them. She hoped that since her return, she would be able to build strong and serious relations with her former friends. it couldn't happen, not anymore. 

But she failed!

Did she, though? The goddess knew that her association with Pride would seldom her friendships with other pantheons; They both were ambitious and they wanted to rule the universe. She fell in love with a creature that would either submit the gods to his will or snuff their existence for stepping in their way. She was no longer trying to keep her peaceful ways because the fire of Life that was burning inside her, pushed her forward, to a higher purpose. She was true balance and she genuinely cared for Life anywhere, so why would she hold herself back? why would she accept the judgment of others? 

They will fail! 

if they ever tried to stop her. If they ever try to keep her in her old lane. If they ever try to judge her for her actions. They will fail if they ever try to make her feel guilty for her choice, especially since they didn't even try to find her, and by erasing her from their memories, they made their choice. She wasn't their choice, and they wouldn't be hers. She was given a second chance and she would take it, seize it, eat it and make it hers. She would become what she was supposed to be: the All-Mother of all existence, the Empress of the universe. Elpis. 

-TBC-

Got (modern): Rumors Rumors on the wall

 Rumors had it that Bäahal Targaryen was seeing someone. She was amused by the reactions she got from the nosey people in her life. They all noticed that she was feeling more confident and looked bolder, sexier, and more invested in her charity work. Something was brewing in the air and they were excited to find out what. For years they had seen her reel from her breakup with Elias. She had focused on her charity work and tried her best to keep her personal life a secret. She appeared at parties and posted on social media but people didn't know more about the young woman. For years, they had seen her cry and look sad when she thought no one was looking at her, and people (especially tabloids) enjoyed seeing the sad heiress. Somehow, it brought her down to Earth, down to them. Somehow, she was also able to suffer and it both humanized her but also gave them some cruel satisfaction. 

But it had been a while since Bäahal looked sad. it had been a while since she felt worried and lonely. Something had changed and they watched her blossom in real-time. She was glowing, and clearly in love which made internet sleuths already eager to find out who was the lucky one? It was a hard game but they were up to the challenge and the crazy rumors going on. OH, She was seen laughing with an actor at a party? He's her boyfriend! Oh, she was seen posing with that model for a photoshoot? Oh, he was certainly her boyfriend too. And let's not even talk about the girls she would hug, the ones who would kiss her cheeks or even wrap their arms around her waist. they were her girlfriends. There were no clues and all the clues at the same time, which made the whole internet buzz. 

It amused the young woman who couldn't stop giggling from time to time when she was scrolling down her social media. They didn't know the truth. they didn't know how she felt nor who she actually was dating. The world was not ready for the pipebomb her relationship with Jaime was. The world wasn't ready to take this news and she definitely didn't want to be called the  "Modern Day Romeo and Juliette". . She didn't want nosey people who would try to break the good thing going with Jaime. Either way, that didn't prevent her from enjoying dating Jaime, speaking of which, she probably should contact him. He didn't really comment on the way people thirsted on him. He didn't comment on the way people ogled on her on social media. However, she knew he would find it amusing. 

-TBC-

Got (regular): you're family.

// sometimes it's good to think about something positive :) 

"I'd like to think of something pleasant, Lord Tyrion, rather than all the dread and fear that are already holding my heart hostage." -She whispered, her purple eyes focused on the balcony of her bedroom.-

"What do you mean princess? What do you want to talk about?" -Tyrion walked towards the table that sat in the middle of the room near her bed and poured two glasses of wine for them. She tilted her head to the side and gave him a soft smile.-

"I want to talk about... we keep thinking about the doom and gloom and how dreadful a romance between Jaime and me would be. I think I know, I know just how awful things could be. I don't need to be reminded of it, every single day. So...." -She tapped her fingers against her chin- "How about, we pick something lighter to talk about and imagine a good outcome?"

"A good outcome? Are you talking about a wedding?" -She bit her bottom lip and nodded. The princess grabbed her glass and slowly took a sip- "Uh... A wedding mmhh? Have you ever thought about being married someday?" -She shook her head and  twirled a few of her silver locks- "But you've thought about getting married to Jaime already?"

"Aye... I have thought about it. I hated men. All my life they used me. They hurt me. I tried to protect my heart as much as I could, hardening it so they wouldn't hurt me. I really couldn't believe that I would eventually find someone like your brother."

"Jaime really has that type of impact on people. Some love him, most hate him." -Tyrion grinned and took a sip of his wine. She was right, after all, it would be a good thing to talk about something else. It felt good to see the princess smile for a change.- "I am surprised, however, that you love my brother enough to imagine your wedding to him. Do you have an idea of the people you want to invite to the ceremony? or the dress you'd wear?"

Bäahal blushed and bit her bottom lip. She kept playing with her silver hair and nodded at his questions. Yes, she has thought about her wedding day. She had thought about the dress she could wear. She wanted a long flowery dress with lovely cleavage and a little cape. She wanted it to have some lace or maybe some crepe and she wanted to have large sleeves. Her hair would be braided and she would wear light make-up. She wanted to carry a bouquet. Her eyes lit up and she put her hair in front of her face and under her nose. She wanted Daenerys to attend, Jon, Tyrion, and Lady Kyra as well  She wanted her loved ones to be there, and if she could get a hold of Missandei, she wanted to have her friend by her side and had often wondered what she was up to.

"I fell in love with your brother and didn't realize it up until I found him at Highgarden. It took him cornering me for me to realize that, yes... I fell in love with him. Jaime is a man of many wonders. He's devoted to his family and would do anything for you. He is loyal and a man I can trust. I want to share my life with him, regardless of how dangerous it could be for me. I want to... I want the gods to be our witnesses because I swear on the gods, old and new that I cannot live without him." -She took another sip of her drink and sat on the chair next to Tyrion.- "I... Aye. I have. I want the ceremony to be very intimate with just the people I love. I just want to have my family by my side and you... Lord Tyrion, are my family."

He looked at her, eyes wide open as he didn't expect her to say those words. It was the first time that Bäahal actually told him she considered him to be like family. It made sense, however, for her to think so. Marrying Jaime would also mean welcoming his family and it would make Kyra and Tyrion her siblings-in-law. The thought made him smile because he remembered their beginnings and the fact they weren't trusting each other.  They became closer after a while, friends even but to be considered family? That was new... that made him feel warm. Bäahal gently grabbed his hand and smiled at him. She tilted her head to the side, her purple eyes set upon Tyrion's green ones.

"Family?" -He blinked, he didn't know how to react and he felt his heartbeats go faster-

"Yes. You are. I like to think that the wedding would definitely make it more official." -She said, confident, determined with that very stubborn face she always had on- "Are you... Okay with it?" -She questioned, her silver brow furrowed a little bit-

"it is... No. It is an honor, princess. I...I couldn't. We didn't have a very easy relationship, now did we? I was content to be at your service. I was content to be your friend. What you are asking is.. different. you want me to be your family?" -She nodded- 

"Yes! Yes, I do. We didn't have a good start but we both earned each other's trust and that's all that matters to me. Tyrion...Tyrion... Over the years you've truly become a powerful ally and a trustworthy friend, and now that I laced my destiny with Jaime's, you are effectively a brother." -She held onto his hand tighter and nodded quietly.- "You care about me and you've worked tirelessly in order to help me get back on my feet. I have been so lost and confused before."

And lost and confused she had been. Since the siege and her return to King's Landing, Tyrion watched as the princess felt distressed over the reaction of her sister regarding her blossoming relationship with his brother. He watched as she stayed in her room, refused to share lunch or dinner with her family, and wept the water out of her body. He watched as she slowly left her room and went on long walks in the garden. He watched as she slowly rekindled her relationship with her family. She convinced him that the love between Jaime and her was genuine and something worth defending. Each and every time, Tyrion gave her some advice. He supported her through her grief, pushed her to talk to her relatives again, and even took her to the dragons so she could ride again. Tyrion was instrumental in her recovery.  

"I care about you. You have it right, Bäahal. I care about you and I honestly feel honored that you consider me like a brother. I will treat you as such, on top of being your friend and counselor. What say you?"

" I agree with it. On top of it all, you will be my brother and as such... for the wedding, I would love for you to give a speech. You know me in ways not even Jon does. You know Jaime better than he does. I would be honored if you speak about us during the celebrations after the ceremony."

"I am already working on a speech. For what is worth, princess, this might even be the best wedding I'll ever attend. " -he paused and removed his hands so he could grab his glass again.- "Let's drink to this, shall we?"

"Let's drink to this." -She grabbed her glass and raised it before she emptied it.-

It felt strange but further strengthened the bond between Tyrion and Bäahal. they had quite a journey, these two. From distrust to blindly trusting each other, they have been through a lot, but Tyrion realized that Bâahal was this person who he treated like a sister despite her not sharing his blood. He was pleased to see that she thought the same, no, moved to see that she felt the same. It felt bittersweet, however, because as good as it was, the situation was uncertain still. Perhaps, a wedding would never happen. Perhaps, there would be one. All they could do was hope. 

Discocombulated

 At times, there is peace and quiet in the dead of night. Ah! Peace and quiet both force me to pick my own brain and to watch the maze it has become in such a quick time. Depression is thy name, a Dedalus of incomprehensible mess made of toxic thoughts and dread. Depression is thy name and is holding me on a chokehold, marveling at my body struggling to shake my body free. It toys with me, allowing me to catch my breath back so I can regain some consciousness before it squeezes the life off of me again. At times there is peace and quiet in the dead of night and I can, yes, I can travel inside my mind.  I can travel the maze and look at the broken pieces of my soul. 

There are days when I find comfort in looking at my memories. Comfort I find in knowing I have survived the worst. There are days when I have enough strength in me that I can look at those memories and instead of reliving those traumas, I can take a step back and see how much of a warrior I actually am. I could have been gone. I could have been alone but I am both alive and I am not alone. Revisiting those moments is sometimes very difficult, but humbling at the same time because I am reminded of the cruel nature of humans, and also of the beautiful hearts some of them also have.  I am reminded of the choices I made, the lessons learned and the mistakes I would never make again. I find comfort, but only on days like these. 

There are days when I feel dread. I am not strong enough to keep the demons at bay. They talk louder and they talk over me. They are so overwhelming that I am suffocating under the crushing weight of my regrets. Walking down memory lane, on days like these, feel like torture. I couldn't stand myself, I couldn't keep going. I felt like I deserved those ignominies and should be punished more. On days like these.....oh On days like these, I reject the peace and quiet. I would do anything to fill the silence with noise. I would listen to music, I would write, and I would talk or even read. I would do anything but listen to myself or revisit the painful memories. This way I wouldn't allow toxic thoughts to creep into my brain. I wouldn't convince myself that I should have it worse. 

Here I am today, in the peace and quiet of my room. I see the maze, and I walk through it. I see the memories, and the fear and the Hope and the joy and all those emotions that are being mixed in that brain of mine. here I am today, comfortable in my skin -those days do exist as well-, comfortable in watching my story unfold before my eyes. I loved, I lost, I suffered, I learned... In a way, I have been through everything and anything. I lived. That's the thing I see today. I lived. I live! Life is messy. Life is so fucking messy but I am slowly starting to see the beauty of it.

A vintage's touch: A game of thrones

// I love 

There was a kingdom and there was a king. Birmingham was Tommy's Kingdom and he was the one who wore the crown. Everybody knew about the Peaky Blinders and everybody knew about Tommy Shelby OBE. Michael didn't find sleep that night. Gina was sleeping next to him, relieved and satisfied after the demonstration of love that her husband gave her. Michael couldn't sleep mostly because he couldn't shake the immense rage he was feeling towards Tommy fucking Shelby. Michael felt robbed of his promising life. He had a future, he was destined for greatness from birth. Michael was a Shelby, the son of the Gypsy princess Polly Gray. He was clever and cunning and on top of it all, he had guts and a vision. He could have led the family to new heights. Polly warned him before he went to the USA. There would be a war between Tommy and him. One of them would die but she couldn't tell who. Michael was certain that Tommy hated him from the moment he knew of his existence. Tommy and his mother were close, and Michael suspected that he saw Polly as a substitute for his late mother. In a way, Thomas had stolen his life and refused to give Michael what was his due. He couldn't bear the thought of having Polly share her love and affection with someone else and that could explain why he was so hellbent on destroying Michael's life to the point of starting a war. 

Michael tilted his head to look at his beautiful young wife who was baring her back at him. He told her before that he was with her when they were in bed. He told her that he was fucking her and when she wasn't home, he was thinking about her. Lies! Lies! He was lying his ass off. He liked Gina. She was gorgeous, she was wild and she knew how to talk to him and stroke his ego. She was the one who made him feel invincible as if nothing could ever happen to him. She was the one who made him realize that he had something to bring to his family and that he should be the Future of the Shelby Family. Yet... Yet, Michael couldn't help but covet Mary. When his cock was deep inside Gina, he imagined that he was with Mary instead. When he was holding her neck while his hips snapped hard into the slender blonde, he was thinking about the curvy brown nurse of  Birmingham. Mary drove him crazy! Mary caught his attention in a way that no other woman could. It was something about her voice that sent shivers down his spine when he heard her. It was sultry when she spoke, soft and silky when she sang and he had wished to listen to it when he had her. He imagined her moans, he imagined his fingers holding a fistful of her brown locks, and he wanted to lock his blue gaze into her green ones.  It was something about her curves. Most women he knew were slim, especially the ones of his childhood village. They were skinny and most looked alike but Mary stood out. 

She should have been his. Michael knew it! He saw her first when Tommy had only eyes on Grace. He was the first to see Mary's true potential. Her beauty, her charm, and how good of a wife she could be. He was the first to be smitten with her voice and genuinely fell in love with her upon meeting her. Tommy knew, he even teased him about it but you know, in the way Tommy always did -without really caring about who Mary was- But she was too closed off and worried to give him a minute of her time. Mary didn't see Michael as a potential suitor. She laughed with him, she teased him, she talked to him but she wasn't with him. She rejected his demands. She never went on a date with him, somehow, he felt that she didn't see his worth. Instead, Tommy came through. Tommy, with Grace dead, decided to set his eyes on Mary and he convinced the rest of the family to root for them and make sure they ended up together. Tommy, again! Tommy the King! Tommy the fucking God of the Peaky Blinders and the Shelby Family! Michael couldn't help but clenched his fists and roll on his sides so he wouldn't look at his wife. She couldn't see how upset he was, not after such an intimate moment together. she would ask him questions, and he didn't want her to be upset with him. So he hid. 

He hid like he hid his true plans from his mother. Polly couldn't be brought into this war because she sat in the middle of it. While her loyalty was to her son, he didn't want to put her through the pain of choosing between him and the other Shelbys. He held no grudges against Arthur, Ada, and Finn. He wanted them alive, they were his family after all. The only one he wanted to overthrow was Tommy Shelby. He expected his deal with Archibald to be a good idea and to help sort this situation out. Archibald would take the Gin Distillery from Tommy, he might even shake things up with Mary and take her away from Tommy. It was a risk, something that didn't sit well with him, that she would fall for Archer but at least she wouldn't be with Tommy, and Michael was fine with it.  He was fine with it. He was fine, right? He was his own person. He proved he could handle himself well. He married into one of the biggest crime families and Uncle Jack was not to be trifled with. He had power through alliance. He had a legitimate business in the USA and he helped his family to earn money. lots of it. So much so that they could burn some of it at their leisure and would still remain rich.  But he was using drugs and he was drinking too much, and he was partying with his wife. Was he miserable? 

Well, yes. He was, because, despite all the power and the booze he could have access to, he was missing something crucial. He was missing his home. He wanted to come back home and settle in the UK. He wanted to go back home, to his mother and step up as the next heir of the Shelby empire. He wanted to go back home and to listen to Mary's voice, to use her as he wished so she could pay for all those years she had been ignoring him. He wanted her, not because he loved her -that love was dead and gone by now- but because he thought he deserved her and he should have. He wanted her to become his and to keep her around him. She'd been pining over Tommy for years, eh? why wouldn't she do the same for him then? why wouldn't she? He wanted to go home. That's what he wanted and that was what he would manage to have. Tommy is damned.

-TBC-

Doya: Patching her up

 // A little moment between these two darlings.  I love and miss Doya. 

"Are you done?" -Oya's voice broke the silence between the two of them. Dean had been focused on stitching her up after she hurt herself during a case they worked. it was a moment of recklessness, caused by her excitement over the fight against the monster of the week. -

"Be patient. I am almost done." -He chuckled and looked up at her face. Oya was pointing, pretending that she was in pain and hated the moment spent being sewn up. The truth was, she enjoyed it when Dean took care of her, especially when he was taking his time to make it look good and pretty.-

"You were supposed to be done already." -She pouted and snarled.- "Ouch! be careful."

"O! You're a toddler! I am sure you're not feeling anything! Stop complaining!" -He grinned and she puffed some air into her cheeks- "I will reward you if you stay still." -Her face lit up "Yeah. For real! I wanted to buy you ice cream when I'm done. You like Ice-cream uh?"

"Of course I do! Duh!!! Okay, you know which one I like." -She pouted and snarled as he was stitching her up again.- "Okay... Okay... I will be alright. I'll stop pretending. I just don't know why you want it to look pretty instead of functional?"

"I wanted to take my time because you've been reckless." -She lifted a brow.- "Awesome, yes! but Reckless! You got hurt because you got too excited and it could have been avoided."

"Seriously? You're lecturing me, Dickhead?" -She furrowed her brows and pouted but couldn't help but smile afterward.- "Thank you.  I gotta admit, I couldn't stop myself. It's been a while since I had so much fun. I...Thank you..." -She cupped his cheek and gently started to stroke his stubbled skin- "You are always looking after me. I appreciate it..."

"I've got you. Always." -He leaned into her touch and finished stitching her.- "I'm all done. Let me wrap some gauze around your waist and you'll be all set up for the night."

He didn't need her to thank him. They both had each other's backs and have had it for years now. Ever since Oya came into his life, years ago, Dean found incredible pleasure in working cases with her. Oya was great to watch. She was great to watch because she was passionate about hunting and she had mad skills. She was invested, curious, and did all the reading he didn't want to do. On top of everything, he enjoyed the aftermath, when they both took care of each other. Oya gave him the best cuddles, made sure he wasn't hurt and patched him up when it was needed because she wanted to. Oya loved to search for the ugly items she loved to shop for him and he loved to go with her when he could. Dean would care for her in the ways he knew of and they would sleep content and satisfied. 

-TBC-

Klasma: Why would you come back to her?

 // I miss these two. 

xxxxx

Klaus leaned against the counter of the bar he stopped to drink at. It had been a while since he left Mystic Falls and yet, he couldn't stop but think about that place. What could possibly make him want to come back to this place? Everything about the town irked the hybrid in ways he couldn't describe. He hated Mystic Falls. It covered his skin with goosebumps every time he had to think about it. This town was a supernatural hub where every enemy he seemed to have ended up finding themselves. New Orleans was another supernatural hub that Klaus preferred over Mystic Falls because he could at least entertain himself, but Mystic Falls always seemed to attract his family and ultimately him.  What was it, this time, that kept the dirty blonde hybrid thinking about that place? Was it the presence of Mary? Was it the Witch's presence in there that made him want to return to that place? Or was it his promise to her? 

What prompted Klaus to promise that woman that he would return to the old town? Klaus refused to dig deeper into his thoughts. He didn't know how to handle the fact he had met someone who defied all odds. Someone who didn't seek his company because she needed anything from him. She was strange, perhaps stranger than anyone he'd ever met in his "thousand years" life. She was supposed to be his natural predator, a natural enemy of his very being. She was supposed to hate his guts and wish for his death. It boggled his mind to have her feel anything other than the desire to kill him. After all, she was a victim of his rampage centuries ago. He slaughtered her family and didn't even remember the carnage he was responsible for. She should have hated him and she did for centuries until she chose to change. 

She chose to transform the rage that was burning inside her into something positive. Who did that? Who did that? She truly didn't need anything from him. Immortality? she had it. Power? She had it. Protection? She didn't need it. No. She wanted his company and she clearly said so. It took him aback. It still did. It had been so long since someone ever wanted to know Klaus, the real Klaus, not the monster or the sire. She wanted to know the real him, not the Mikaelson, not the sibling of Elijah, but just him. How could he process it? How could he process the fact someone finally could understand him and felt like kin? Besides, he promised her that he would help her with his brother. He would put her to safety and if there was one thing people had to know, it was that Klaus was a man of his word and he would protect her. 

Her face came to his mind, and flashes of her smile interrupted his trail of thoughts. How curious! It made him feel just like when she was speaking. Mary had the tendency to trail off when she spoke and that was something he thought both endearing and peculiar. Her face, her smile, her tears. He learned a lot about her and the fact she didn't lie and didn't hide how she felt was something he wasn't used to. She was his complete opposite and yet, and yet, his thoughts brought him back to Mystic Falls and to Mary. He wanted to see her. He wanted to meet her again. He had to keep his promise because he was a man of his word and... perhaps he wanted to see her again because he genuinely liked her company. 

Where was the truth? 

-TBC-

PB: Mary and Tommy appreciation post: The nightingale and the Black Stallion

 PB: Mary and Tommy: The nightingale and the Black Stallion: 

Our latest and newest endeavour together! (I stole your line because you put it so damn well.) I am obsessed with them. Legit obsessed. And it doesn’t help that people keep telling me that they are so good together XD they made people watch the show, they made people fall in love with Tommy or discovered him again. I couldn’t help but praise you. Because let me tell you this: You have tommy’s voice. You have him alright! You nailed his mannerism! You nailed his verbatim and the way he speaks! You understand him in a way that  very few people can. (and I have seen it, trust me. Some even found me on fb and requested me... :/)  You understand his flaws, his fears, his trauma, his thoughts, his devouring ambition. You understand him in a way I love. You and I, we have that thing about  caring for the character and their psyche. We love to pick their brains, and I empathize with him. Perhaps that’s why it works so well between us. We both empathize with your boys. We both pick their brains. We both care for them. I am so fucking glad that we so nonchalantly spoke about the show. I am so happy we got to watch it together and catch up with the show together. I am so happy we got to enjoy this universe together. SO glad! Because I am having the most fun ever with you. I have so much fun I can’t believe my eyes. 

They are the nurse and the soldier. The black stallion and the Nightingale. Two people who are hurting and found comfort with each other. They clicked so fucking well, I couldn’t believe my eyes upon seeing it. From the little banters, the way she automatically goes to try and heal him when he’s injured. The way she will always look after him, try to help him feel better. Try to heal him and comfort him. That’s who she is. She can’t help herself but try to help those around her. She does so because nobody was there for her when she grew up. The nurses brutalized and abused her. Her husband took advantage on her and hurt her. She lost her son, and nobody was there to help her grieve and move forward. She hurt. She hurt really bad, so she decided to give back. Saving lives, healing people, caring for kids is her true calling and the way she could make sure that nobody can feel the same way that she did.  She is a wounded nurse, with a bleeding heart who found her family with the Shelbys. They gave her something she’d never had before, love. She found people who care for her, people who welcomed her in their inner circle and who want to protect her. She found a man. She found a man she fell in love with and who she will be patient with. The soldier. Because he is a soldier. Still traumatized by the first world war and the horrors he went through and witnessed. He’s a man who despite his desire to move forward from the battlefield and build a life for himself, a better life where he would climb the ladders of society. Despite this, he still is stuck in that tunnel. He’s still in France. He’s still there and he’s expecting to die. He’s expecting to find the man who can put an end to his life (and suffering) AND yet, he’s still fighting to stay alive. (to me, this is depression, you know? With suicidal ideations… something I understand because I fucking live through this… that’s why Tommy’s my baby. I relate to him).  Tommy loves his family and he wants to help them, save them, protect them and ensure they have the best life possible. Tommy loses himself in his business because it gives him a purpose. It gives him motivation. It keeps the nightmares at bay because he has something to focus on. Hence why he goes from one enemy to another. With Grace, he had some respite, but she’s gone. And I am sure that in our storyline, the nightmares came back. 

Mary isn’t trying to change Tommy. She doesn’t want him to be a “good man” or a “legitimate man”. She doesn’t want him to come clean. She knows his deal. She knows what he’s doing. However, she wants him to be happier. She wants him to live. To stop and breathe a little. She doesn’t want him to miss seeing his son growing up. She doesn’t want him to miss moments of happiness. Yes, he would take big risks, especially as his war with Michael would escalate and Uncle Jack is also here and a big asshole. And she wouldn’t want him to be hurt, to be reckless, to lose his footing. She just wants him to live. She wants to take care of him because nobody does (except for Polly). Mary however, oh Mary.  She’s a broken bird you know? Tommy in his own way is actually the one who could best understand her. He knows what it is to feel alone, despite having people around you. He knows what it is to be worried, to look past your shoulder, because she’s been there.  He knows what it is to be rejected, or mocked, or even have some fucking racists coming after him. He knows some of her plights. And he sees her. Not the fact she’s a mixed woman. Not the fact she can sing. Not even the fact she’s pretty. He sees past her stoic face, he sees her pain. He can see when she’s drinking too much and he can bring her comfort. Moreover, he also lets her care for him. It’s so huge. To have someone allow her to be genuinely sweet and cuddly with them? To have someone who trusts her enough to care for his son? 

Mary is desperately in love with Tommy. With everything that he is. She is scared that he still wants to replace Grace with her, as if she was the consolation prize since his wife died. She is scared to just be here to care for his son, bring him comfort when he needs it and not for her.  She has already had to confront haters like Lizzie and would soon have to deal with a rivalry she didn’t want to be a part of (Archie) and her mother would make her feel less than. (which might hurt her even more but would help her emancipate herself as well from her past). These two, I agree with you, they are set up to become a great thing, perhaps, the greatest story we could write! (no offense to the others, I love them to bits). Because we have two humans here, with their fears, their traumas, their pain, their love and their determination who will care for one another and protect each other. They are going to become a power couple and they would experience new things, important things, good or bad.  There is this softness, kinkiness, adorableness and something so raw about these two that I love. I love them. I know each smile, each good moment would be earned. I know that each tears, each shock, each headache or tommy’s seizure would bring something to the table. They are carving their path, and I really hope that we would be lucky enough to follow them through it all.  I love them. I love them so much. I love you. 

 

JB appreciation post: The golden lion and the Firecracker

 *JB  appreciation post: The golden lion and the Firecracker: 

(regular) The golden Lion. Oh the second we started to write them, I just felt something. I didn’t intend to write Bäahal as more than just a character to help boost the storyline of others. I was so scared to write in that universe, mostly because I thought I wasn’t good enough. But we started to write and something just magical happened! That confirmed to me that our wonderful connection went beyond Doya and Elpis and Pride. NO matter the universe, we would always have some chemistry no matter the universe we write in. Jaime.. I love that you were able to show me his true colours. I love how you make me fall in love with him. I love how you made me see him for who he really is. He’s a man who cares so much about the people he loves. He’s determined, stubborn, and loving. He knows her as she really is. Not the slave, not the princess, not the sacrificial lamb, and not even the warrior.  HE saw her as the young, stubborn, genuine and good person and he treated her as just Bäahal. It’s so important to her to be seen. He sees her and he loves her for who she is. Nobody ever did, they all wanted to own her, use her, and manipulate her into doing their bidding but no one ever loved her in a romantic way.  She fell for Jaime because she saw who he was, through his eyes and his actions. She knows that despite all the despicable things he did, the horrors he’s responsible for and the bad decisions he made, Jaime is a man driven by love. He’s loyal, and has sacrificed everything for others. She is stubborn, this is true. She refuses to give up on Jaime. This is also true. 

But Jaime is the first man she ever loved. The first she wants to be with. It’s literally the only thing (now that Viserion is dead), that she wants for herself. She can give everything to her family and sister. Here life, her sword, her love and her loyalty, but love? Love?.. something for herself? It’s the only thing she wants and she can’t give up on it.  Jaime deserves a second chance and my Bäahal believes so. She knows that anyone, including him, could come back from the errors he made. She knows that his soul isn’t tainted. She knows that he can do good things and she wants to help and protect him too. Jaime is the first person she wants to give everything to. She wants to give him her heart, her body and her soul. She wants to have a family with him -although, she doesn’t know it yet yet- She wants to protect him from everything, including his impulsive nature and would always make sure that no one is trying to talk him down, threaten him, disrespect him. I can see just how much care you give into Jaime and how complex he is as a man as well. I love writing with him and I love when you play him because he has many layers. He’s so awesome! So real! So fucking raw. I swear, I cried more than once because of him. ‘(Highgarden confession? Casterly roc confession? Whenever he says he should be dead or he doesn’t deserve love or second chances? I cry every fucking time!) I love him. I love the way he can make us (Bäahal and I) so many things. I love that he makes us care for him and makes us want him to be happy. His smile is  our reward. His heart being full and them being at peace makes me smile too. 

I know it’s a slow burn and fuck, that shit’s good! The heartbreak, the heart ache, the desire for more and for better for them is overwhelming me and is so dang powerful. You play Jaime beautifully and I won’t mind to have him be the only character left if you were to choose among them all. I love your Jaime. I respect your Jaime. I’m concerned for him and I’m invested in him. Bäahal as well. 

• JB (modern): 

The Golden Lion! I Love him so fucking much. I love Modern JB. I have never expected to write them in such a setting, but I am so so glad we gave it a try. Just like you said, they are freeing. I feel that we can give them the world, the  one they deserve. In modern verse, we can have them have fun. They can let loose. They can choose to be together without the same issues their regular counterparts have. I love that when Bäahal wants to see Jaime, she just can. I love that she can tease him, and he can take it. They are hot, so fucking hot, I can’t believe it. I love that they clicked so well from the first time. Oh, that scene in the club is legendary! I keep coming back to it if I have to be honest here. I keep going back to it because Your Jaime’s sexier and more playful side is a joy to see. It’s so good. I can’t really get enough of them, right? They have that chemistry we can’t really  deny.  I love that Jaime isn’t afraid to give his opinion. He isn’t afraid to tease her, to let her know just how much he wants her (when Jaime says he wants to fuck her, this is so hot. Like, Yes King, please speak dirty to her! she loves it!  When he teases her about what she can do and lets her be either hot, either in charge or a bottom? I love that they can just be themselves and be erotic, soft, sweet, romantic and even a little fluffy. I love that he cooks for her,  I love that she doesn’t let him finish cooking at times XD I love that she always dresses so good he can’t really keep his hands in his pockets. I love when he gives her presents, and when he reassures her. I love that for them. I love that they can be like this without being afraid they could be put to death / seen as traitors like the regular verse.  He cares for her. He desires her. He can dance too! Oh my god, I love that he is confident in his sex-appeal. That he knows his skills, his strength, his charisma… I love that he doesn’t hesitate to be impulsive, to guide her when he wants to. I love that he doesn’t mind showing his discomfort or how upset he was at Bronn for speaking of his girl like she was some kind of meat. We can have them do virtually anything and I love that about us. They are so exciting and comforting to write and yes, we have been thinking about the only pairing we could keep, and we chose JB. They have that chemistry that just goes beyond anything I’ve ever seen. It just happened! It just is. They just are. I love them so much, you have no idea. I am really glad we decided to write these two and to be able to have those moments they can’t have yet in regular verse. I am glad they exist. I am glad that even here, Bäahal can’t help but fall in love with him. Quickly.. deeply.. madly. 

Witch!Mary/ Asma x Klaus appreciation post : The Witch and the Hybrid

 (Witch) Mary/ Asma x Klaus: 

This one is going to be shorter than the rest of them, mostly because we haven’t had the  opportunity to write as much with the two of them but we have written quite a bit so I can at least say something about them. I love all of our phases, you know? The “let’s muse about the possibilities” to “let’s write them down” to “We’re on a break but we’re thinking about what could come next.” You’re right about something, they prove to us that we never miss.  No matter the universe, we just click, and we have so much fun writing together. It’s us. It’s us at our finest when our brains are colliding and creating something extraordinary. I love writing with you. So much. I love to have you as my writing partner because we are having so much fun. I didn’t expect to have Klaus speak to you like this. He just came through and I love how you write him. He's just so natural, and so real and so raw and you make me want to see more of him. I love that my witch can trail-off mid-sentence. I love how KLaus makes her lose her mind. -She's a bit obsessed with him, isn't she?- I love how he can make her feel a lot of emotions, from anger to joy, to desire- I love that he surprises me and Mary/ Asma any chance he gets. He is surprising, charming, charismatic and damn sexy!  I didn’t expect us to be writing in this universe. I have tried so many times with my witch and it never really clicked before. The Damon, the Klaus or even the Stefans I wrote with were  very superficial and didn’t really care about the characters. It was way too easy for them because they thought “hey, they’re hot, we can have all the girls with just being hot.” Type of writers. You're not like this, and you will never be like this so of course we can have fun. 

Yet, we started to muse, and they started to speak to us both in such a strong way. I love them already. I love Klasma (the name sounds so good in French). I love their chemistry. It just hit me like  a brick. You understand Klaus. Just like Dean, he is a complex character. One with more than just one layer and you can bring that out of him. I get to see the nuance I crave in characters. I get to see him express joy, fun, anger,  and I love him even when he’s cold and doesn’t feel anything. He… he honestly is amazing and the way you write him is amazing and makes me want to see more of him and more of them. I love that Klasma is not conventional. She’s a witch, cursed at that with eternal life, cursed to feel pain when she’s upset or anything negative, cursed to share the same weaknesses as vampires, werewolves and witches. She’s been alone for so long and the irony of her to find some sort of kinship in the person she used to hate before isn’t lost on me. She can understand part of what Klaus went through. She can understand him and can take the time to listen to him. She genuinely wants to know him better  and is already missing him. I love how you can bring any character of mine out of her shed. You can make them exist, and you can make me excited about it. About what we can write together. I love that they’re not conventional and that they can actually become a great story. After all, they are two cursed people who have been alone for quite some time, who don’t believe that they can be loved, who have lost everything and are in desperate need for being seen as who they are. I love that they’re going to try and give themselves a chance at being happy. If they can go past their nature. If they can welcome their differences, their traumas, their temper.  God, I love them so much. 

Oya and Dean Appreciation post: The broken birds

Oya and Dean Appreciation post: 

The badass hunters. Our tragic babies. Our broken birds. You said that Oya has saved Dean and you and It was the biggest compliment I have ever had from roleplay. Truth is, this pairing means the world to me because we became closer through writing them together. You opened up to me, explained me more about your past and some of the very nasty memories you had of writing Dean. You trusted me and I wanted nothing more but to protect you from all of the nasty things you’ve been through before. I wanted to because I’ve been there too. I love your Dean. I love how much you understand him. How much you care for this traumatized darling. Dean is a complex man. He’s been through hell (both literally and figuratively.) He’s suffered a lot and the fact he kept going, he kept trying to save the world, even when he couldn’t save himself is one of the reasons I can’t let go of him. He still is a good soul, despite all the shit he’s been through. This is something I can relate to. This is also the reason why I wanted your Dean to actually have someone to be there for him. Someone who can understand him. Someone who can help him too. 

I love writing solos about these two, where I show just how important they are for each other. They’ve been through so much and yet still were able to trust one another. Dean loves Oya as she is. He can take her little obsessions (ahem, the aprons and ugly sweaters). He can calm her down (and very few people can. ) He can take good care of her in ways nobody ever had. (the breakfasts and meals he cooks? The fact he patches her up after an intense hunt? The fact he plays the guitar for her at times? Or just the fact he trusts her and lets her be in charge?) He is the one who can appreciate her beauty, in an out and who doesn’t ask her to be who she isn’t. He didn’t want to mold her into someone else. He didn’t want her to reject her past or accommodate him. She is true. She is real. She is raw with him and he takes it and he gives back too. She fell in love with him and despite not being married or whatever, she considers them as her soulmate. He is her soulmate, her “husband” in acts and not legally. He is the soul she feels the most comfortable with. He is her everything. There is no world without Dean. There is no way she could live without him. 

Besides, yes, he’s hot! We know it! Oya knows it! She appreciates it! She lets him know it. Yes they are two broken people but they managed to build something over time and with trust. I can’t be prouder of them two. They can rely on each other and Oya trusts  Dean with her life. She’s been deceived before with words but with Dean, she can see through actions just how much he truly cares about her. He cares, he protects, he trusts her, and he gives her his true self. It is the best gift he could ever give her. I love that he can allow her to care for him, to unburden him from the weight of the world. He can peel off the layers of his armor with her and let her take care of him. Can you imagine that? Someone who can trust her with his most precious treasure? His heart? He trusted her when she wasn’t sure she could make someone happy. He let her love him when nobody did. He made her forget her guilt with his kindness and love. He helps her feel less self-conscious about her scars by kissing them.

I love that they care about each other. I love that they are here for each other. Oya would never leve him. She would never leave Team Free Will because they are her family. I am so happy for her, to have found them and him. I am so happy because she can be herself with all of them. She can be caring, mothering (she does mother Castiel and Sam at times), sexy, stubborn, and full of life with them. Dean had seen her in her worst moments and he’s still there and I have never thought I could write in this universe and yet here I am. Writing these two darlings I Love more than I can say. Here I am, loving them because of what they embody for me. You trusted me with Oya. You trusted me as a friend. We managed to write these two and no matter how long it is before they come back, I know they are loving each other and kicking monsters’ asses somewhere.

Elpis and Pride: Appreciation post: The Emperor and his Empress

 Elpis and Pride: Appreciation post: 

*Elpis and Pride: The OG! Our OG! The Emperor and His Empress!!  Writing with them has always been something I couldn’t really describe. They were our first big storyline and just like you did, I would only focus on the goddess herself. (Big love to her vessel Asma!). Elpis and Pride have set me free, and they were the ones with whom we explored our roleplay.  We’ve written everything with them, drama, action, angst, sexy… we’ve written everything and pushed each other to become better writers.  I love this story. The elegance of it, the darkness about it, the Light too. We’re talking about literal deities who can conquer and shape the world at their image. They always inspire me, and I have a very special bond with Pride. Nobody can understand Elpis like Pride does. He saw her true potential, her true nature long before she ever did. He is the only one who understood her, and he went to rescue her as soon as he remembered her existence. 

Pride is the only and true family she ever had. She realized that her so-called family was nothing but shackles to her wrists. They were scared of her, possessive of her, and only saw her as a trophy to own. (Ahem... Leviathan) but Pride saw her for who she was. He inspires her, he motivates her, he challenges her! She loves being in his presence because he always pushes her to become stronger, more daring, and I would dare say: Free. He is a free spirit, a force of nature that can’t be contained and she understands that nature about him. She fell in love -and that was not a puppy love like the first time- with Pride and He is the only one fit to be her Emperor, her Beloved. Pride has been her first and will be her only lover. She doesn’t want anything else. She doesn’t need anyone else but him. He is her future. He is her whole life, and he is the only one who can embrace her for exactly who she is.  With her kind heart, with her bloodlust, with her stubborn and playful nature. She loves it when he wants to protect her and she loves it even more when they get to be in synch together (ahem.. those blood orgies they sometimes partake in)

I love Pride so much, because of his determination, his ambition and his irresistible charisma.  He is /so/ charismatic that If He were real and an actor, I would have been a super fan :p He is intense, he is scary at times, he commands respect. He is handsome (and fuck, nothing can make me think otherwise) and he is perfect!  Elpis appreciates being the one he can anchor himself to. She enjoys being the voice of reason and of balance. His darkness feeds her Light and he also has some Light in him. I can see them as a complimentary couple. I can see them as a royal couple whose destiny is to rule over the fucking universe. He’s playful, he’s charming, he’s sooooo complex and always keeps us (Elpis and I) on our toes because we never know when he’ll snap or when he’ll be happy and at peace. Elpis worships him, because she knows him. It’s not just because  he’s physically perfect. It’s not just because his eyes turn purple when he’s feeling intense emotions (oh she loves that!). It’s not just because of their very sexy power play. (and they are sexy, believe me! I had to pause at times when reading them because they are very hot). It’s because he cares for her and he shows it. He’s a man who keeps his promises. He has a vision, a goal, and this version of him, is far superior to the older version of Pride. I love how they’re evolving and how they keep showing us their true colours. Elpis has this possessive streak. She loves to have people drool or even worship her emperor, but she’s the one who can have a taste, who can give him the most important praises, who can sit by his sides as his empress. And nobody, trust me, NOBODY, can hurt the Emperor. She would smite them, if they ever tried to do so. 

CHARACTER ANALYSIS: Mary (updated)

 CHARACTER ANALYSIS:  Mary (updated)

Living... in post-WWI Birmingham, England, a widow. Currently living at Arrow House, Tommy’s house. 

Profession... She has medical training and is a certified nurse who worked at the orphanage she grew up in. Therefore, she’s now the head nurse of the Grace Shelby Institute and she takes care of the orphans. Tommy told her that she would become the headmistress of the institute should something happen to him.

Interests... Drinking and dancing. Mary doesn’t have many vices, but alcohol helped her numb the pain. She also loves animals and sometimes watches racetracks (Be careful with how she drinks. She can quickly get drunk and she’s not a happy drunkard.)

Relationship Status... single but is currently madly in love with Tommy Shelby and wants a life with him. As his date, perhaps his fiancée, and frankly -but it seems to be so out of reach- his wife. If she has nothing of it, as long as she can take care of Charlie and Tommy, she’s fine with it. 

Challenge... Staying alive and out of illegal activities. So far, she is clean. She can, however, become a target if her relationship with Tommy becomes public and people know she’s his girl. She also has to navigate between her fears, and the bad ideas people like Lizzie could put in her head when she’s at her most vulnerable. She wants to grieve for her son and move forward as well. She wants to be loved but doesn’t allow it just yet.  She also would have to deal with people who don’t want her to sit as an equal (some pub owners), those who see her as a trophy (Michael, Archibald), or those who don’t want her to exist at all (her mother).

Personality... Victoria is intelligent, cunning, witty, and stoic (not to Tommy’s extent, but she’s tough to read). She is trying to protect herself from pain as her life had been nothing but a destructive cycle. Deep down she’s actually very soft and desperate for love but looks in the wrong places. She is not above killing someone if that meant she could protect others (or herself). She’s been traumatized by the loss of her baby, the abandonment of her mother, and the abuse at the hands of the nuns who « raised her ». She wears on her back the stigmata of the whipping she received at their hands. All she wants is a happy life, but she tends to self-sabotage because she doesn’t believe she’s worth loving. However, since she met Tommy, something has started to change in her. She found a family in the peaky blinders and with them built back some of her strength and self-esteem. She has a family to come back to. She has people who care about her, and she would fiercely protect them.  She has also unleashed a very sensual side of herself and is owning her sex appeal even more now but only in private and only with Tommy. 

CHARACTER ANALYSIS: Mary TVD

 CHARACTER ANALYSIS: Mary TVD

Living... At Mystic Falls

Profession... She has a shop. We can call her a naturopath or a herbalist.

Interests... She enjoys animals. She loves helping others, she would genuinely go out of her way to help people regardless of their nature. She loves going to fine restaurants or a bar and she loves to laugh and have long conversations. She’s been touch-deprived for centuries and is also very lonely due to her curse and the danger she represents. So she compensated for her solitude by reading and watching tv shows.

Relationship Status... She and Klaus are… getting somewhere. At least she realized she wanted to build a life with him. It’s very recent but they have clicked very well. 

Challenge... building relationships in a world where humans, werewolves, vampires, witches, and vampires are her natural enemies? Who could she trust? When Elijah had times and times again broken her heart? When Klaus with whom she has a genuine connection tends to disappear at will and come back when he sees fit? She can’t stay in the same place for too long before something goes off.  She doesn’t trust people and she doesn’t trust herself because most of the time, there is a trail of death where she lives. People always turn on her, and people always try to kill her. So she doesn’t build relationships. Elijah was the only one and even he treated her more like an asset than a person. She doesn’t open up very easily and usually retreats to her usual coldness when she feels hurt. Also, she has anger issues, (because of how painful that curse is) and every day is very difficult to spend without letting anger overwhelm her. (when she feels anger or any negative emotion, the curse activates, and she suffers physically. She is tormented by the souls of the coven that was sacrificed for the curse to be cast) She doesn’t trust she can ever be happy again but has decided that helping others would be her saving grace. 

Personality... Mary is aloof. She tends to keep people away from her. She’s been hurt, mostly because she kept losing everything she had. Her family was slaughtered by Klaus. Her coven cursed her when she helped the Mikaelsons (which she believes is unfair and undeserved). She lost her coven because of that curse, and she lost the ability to blend in and make friends because of it too. All the people she tried to befriend either ended up dead (killed by her in self-defense because they turned on her or killed by other people because they helped her). Elijah, who was the only being who visited her over those centuries spent alone didn’t care that deeply about her. He never bothered bonding with her despite being the reason for her curse. So, she’s upset, angry, and hurt. She also tends to keep to herself unless asked a question (she’s blunt and wouldn’t hesitate to say truths to your face without sugar-coating it.)  She’s sincere, determined, cautious, and akin to a cat, really.  But she has a lot of love to give despite everything and she believes in second chances.