// Bäahal and Jaime discuss Bäahal's family "traditions" and the very urge she feels about leaving them.
xxxx
Jaime noticed something had changed in the way Bäahal behaved. Her face became somber, her features less relaxed. She was sitting on the sofa, her knee was starting to tap at a fast pace and she scrolled down her phone. He noticed the displeased rictus on her face and the crease on her forehead. Jaime walked toward her and sat on the couch next to her. He put his hand on the shaking leg, which prompted her to look at him. Her purple eyes were intensely staring at his face and she shrugged.
"Talk to me, Firecracker."
"I....." -Her eyes were wet and she couldn't stop shaking her knee. She put the phone on the screen and chewed at her bottom lip. She wanted to speak but didn't know just how she could start the conversation.-
"I'm here." -He simply said, his hand stroking her thigh. He had not seen her like this in a long while and Jaime didn't like to see her scared and upset. She was about to cry but was fighting back the tears. The only moments that had Bäahal feel like this were when her family was involved.-
"I...it's my family. One of my aunts had just released an interview in the newspapers. I have...I'm exhausted." -She confided in him and sighed deeply.- "She insulted my dad's legacy. She insulted my siblings... she insulted me." -She sighed and moistened her lips.- "In the good old fashion Targaryen way, so it wasn't direct."
"The old hag! Did she say something new?" -Bäahal sighed and ran her hand through her long silver locks. Jaime was barely containing his anger, but he chose not to let it pass through so she could focus on her own emotions instead of trying to calm him down.-
"She did...Most of my family just pretends I'm not really the biological child of my dad. They treat me like a stranger, like some adopted kid they kept because they could get cookie points. They could appear as noble saviors, and I should forever stick to the grateful child role they forced upon me." -She looked down, lowering her head so she could look at her knees.- "Jaime, I have a complicated family. You know it, I told you about them."
"Not everything, but I get it. They don't really like you." -She swallowed a lump and tucked some hair behind her ear-
"They hate me. I am the stain on the family history. My dad messed up when he fathered a child with an outsider. They could have forgiven him if I wasn't brought to the limelight."
"They wanted you to stay hidden. to pretend you didn't exist. That's cruel."
"My dad had many flaws, but he wouldn't have abandoned me. He couldn't and I am grateful that he didn't because when mom died, I was still a teenager and I would have been struggling." -She muffled a sob and yanked her head back so she could look at the ceiling.-
"Bäahal. What do you want me to do? Do you want to tell me about that article? or maybe you'd want me to make some tea? some hot cocoa?" -She wiped a couple tears off of her face and lowered her head to look at Jaime again. Green eyes stared at violet hues and she shook her head. right now, all she needed was for him to stay by her side.-
"I just need you to stay here with me. I'm so sorry, Jaime. I'm trying really hard not to cry but I can't help myself." -She curled on a ball and gently laid her head against his lap. Jaime's hands ran through the silver locks of the heiress. He massaged her scalp in order to soothe her so she would be more comfortable-
Jaime didn't speak for a while. Instead, he let Bäahal talk to him about how much she loathed her extended family. Things had started to warm up with her siblings, very slowly but at least Viserys was leaving her alone and Daenerys was far more pleasant to be around since she had started to date Jon Stark. The truth, however, was that the road towards reconciliation was actually very long and difficult. For each step forward, there were a thousand steps back. Her Aunt Visenya was a despicable human being. She was nostalgic for the old nobility, the old times when the Targaryens were absolute rulers of Westeros and she refused to accept anything different from the way things were before. Daenerys had fallen into disgrace in her eyes when she married Khal Drogo. She redeemed herself at the death of her husband and the ruthless way she was handling the family estate. She later lost all credibility for the Aunt when she started to warm up to that Stark boy.
The real grief, Bäahal suspected, was that Daenerys was starting to warm up to her. How could she accept the existence of Bäahal? How could she defend her sister in the press? How could she even allow Bäahal to have a life, to appear in newspapers, to be seen as if everything was normal? Bäahal was to be shunned, hidden, dismissed, and essentially not to be heard of. She was the child of sin, born out of wedlock between a Targaryen and an outsider. Of all the crimes Aerys II did, Bäahal sometimes wondered which one was the worst for them. Was it because it was an outsider? Was it because she wasn't pale as snow? Was it because Aerys II cheated on his wife? Which sin was the worst? Growing up, Bäahal thought that the color of her skin was the worst thing that could ever be because her step-mother associated it with the sin of her cheating father. It was proof of her never belonging to the family because she didn't look like them.
But she did. Bäahal was a gorgeous woman, who was the spitting image of her father. She was a gorgeous woman who couldn't be hidden or contained or treated worse than a pet; She wasn't responsible for the decisions of her father and she shouldn't be held accountable for these. She wasn't responsible for her existence and she did her best to exist and become a good person. Yet, her aunt Visenya made sure in that article to highlight the fact the rest of the family despised Bäahal and her socialite life. They considered she contributed nothing to society and was mostly parading around with her good looks, going from one scandal to another rather than being actually relevant. She lamented that her cousin, Aerys II couldn't foresee the issues his actions would bring to the family and blamed Daenerys, Viserys, and their late mother Rhaella, for not having done the right thing when the child came to their door. Of course, all of this had been hidden in plain sight with very pompous expressions that would be lost on most if not all of the readers, but it wasn't lost on Daenerys who texted her sister, frantically so and requested a moment with her siblings so they could gather and see how to respond to such insult.
"I am so exhausted...Jaime..." -She said, sobbing softly on his knees. "They like to boast about the long history of our family but sincerely, it's shit! It's fight after fight, after fight. They all want to come on top, to be the dominant family and this old hag has always hated dad. She has always hated me. During Christmas, she would not even acknowledge me. I should not care.."
"Bäahal. I understand why it would hurt. I don't share this family dynamic, but I can see why it would hurt. She's supposed to be family. She's supposed to welcome you but she doesn't. She not only rejects you when you're in private, but she also does it in public." -He kept massaging her scalp, trying to soothe her heart.- "She's not right, you know? All the things she said about you are nothing but lies. You are amazing, Bäahal. You are one of a kind! One of One! I've never met a woman like you. No matter where I look at, I've never met a woman like you. I've never met someone who makes my heart beat that fast. I've never met someone I would like to have with me, all the time. Bäahal, your family is complicated to say the very least but if there is one thing I know for sure, it's that they are wrong about you. They don't know you but I do." -He felt her shift on his lap, and he helped her sit back on the couch.
"Jaime...You are so kind. Thank you for your beautiful words." -She said, pressing a kiss to his in gentle kiss.- "I love you. I love you for thinking so well about me. I love you for being so kind to me. I love you for embracing me, as I am. You're right, she doesn't know me. She would never know me and she's wrong about my dad. He made a mistake and it hurt everyone, including him, but I wasn't a mistake. I refuse to see myself through her eyes. I refuse to see myself as less than. I don't care about this article. It doesn't matter. they don't matter..."
Jaime cupped both cheeks and gently pressed his lips to hers in a soft peck. He mouthed "I love you too." in between kisses and ended up pulling her into a hug and cradling her in his arms. She needed to have some comfort and he was going to bring it to her that night.
-TBC-
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