// it's been a while. I missed them.
xxxx
Daenerys put her hand on Bäahal's, preventing her from leaving the dinner table. The silver princess looked at her sister and sat back on her chair. It was clear that Daenerys wanted to talk to her once the whole room would be cleared, so she patiently waited for the two of them to be left alone, in a freshly cleaned dining room. She looked at her sister and leaned into her chair. Daenerys smiled at her and put both hands on her lap. Her purple eyes stared at her sister's violet ones and she smiled at Bäahal.
"I wanted to speak with you sister. It had been a while since our last conversation." -Daenerys felt her sister tense a little, so she quickly held Bäahal's wrist- "Don't fret. I am not going to lash out at you."
"You're not?" -Bäahal's voice was meek, as she was still testing the waters. She was still walking on eggs around Daenerys who was tired of inducing fear in the heart of her sister. She realized that she'd been way too hard on her and should have tackled the issue a bit differently than he did. Dany nodded and gently stroked the back of her hand in order to soothe her sister.- "Alright. I just.. we didn't really have the best conversations as of late."
"I have been way too harsh on you. I couldn't see past my anger. I couldn't see past my fears. You walked on eggs for weeks because of me, when all you wanted to do was talk to me."
"You were worried, and you are a queen before being a sister. I can't blame you for your first reactions. I don't blame you for them."
"But you blame me for not trying to meet you halfway, don't you?" -Bäahal shrugged and finally nodded after a while- "I understand. I am your sister and you wanted to have an honest conversation between sisters. I denied you before, I don't want to deny you now."
"You would not want to talk about Jaime. I have so much to say about him, but I am not going to overstep your boundaries. If I could just say one thing about it, it's that I worry about Jon and about Jaime. This mission is very difficult and I know they would have to work together in order to find the truth and see if the people who attacked me and you by extension, are truly the ones I pointed at. I wouldn't want to cause a diplomatic incident. I wouldn't want to cause you more trouble already." -Bäahal chose to keep walking on eggs with her sister.-
She wasn't sure that Daenerys wanted to hear about the knight so she chose to redirect the conversation to the plan, the very reason for their decision to leave. this way she hoped to soothe any potential anger before it had time to form in the heart of her sister, but Daenerys understood and a soft smile graced her features. She removed her hand from Bäahal's and put it back on the table in front of her.
"I trust them, Bäahal. I trust Jon. It is his plan after all and he knows what he is doing. It must have been incredibly difficult for you to bid farewell to the knight." -Bäahal bit her bottom lip and nodded quietly. It was hard, perhaps the hardest thing she had to do, watch the man she loved left her to his potential death-
"We managed." -She paused, her purple hues averted from her sister's face and set upon the window.- "I trust Jon and Jaime to come back to us and this is all I'm looking forward to, sister. Them, alive and home."
"Bäahal, you are right about something. I do not want to talk about Jaime....yet. However, I would like to talk about you." -She moistened her lips- "I want to know how you feel since the siege. I want to talk about you discovering Love for the first time. I want to know if you've ever dreamed about having your own family, getting married... having children."
"Are you serious Dany? Do you really want to know all of this?" -Daenerys nodded-
Bäahal was dumbfounded. She didn't know that her sister wanted to start a conversation about her inner thoughts, her dreams, and desires. She didn't know where to start or how to talk about things without mentioning Jaime. Daenerys was ready to make a step forward, she was prepared to meet her sister halfway but she wasn't ready to speak about Jaime. It would come, in time. Bäahal blinked and then lowered her head. She could feel her cheeks turn red and she found her fingers fidgeting with some of her silver locks. She had never really thought about a happy married life before. How could she when she was still enslaved? How could she when there was no hope for her? Men disgusted her because they only saw her as something to own, something to use, something to flatter their ego. She dreamed of freedom and nothing else, but since Mereen... did she think about a future?
They went from one war to another right after the defeat of Cersei and the crowning of Daenerys. Bäahal didn't really have the time to stop and contemplate her life. There was too much going on, from the mourning of Viserion to the desire to find Jaime Lannister (alive if possible), and her desire to become her sister's ambassador. She had to adjust to her freedom, welcome this new life and strengthen her bonds with her family. It was a lot to deal with in such a little time so how could the princess truly have time to think about her desires? Well... she did. As a matter of fact, she did when she was looking for Jaime. She wished he was alive and they would find each other again. She wished he was alive so she could claim her love for him and expected that maybe, this would kickstart something.
What was really the plan at Highgarden? Did she really think Jaime would follow her and go back to King's landing as if there were no consequences? Did she really think that nothing would happen to him? that Daenerys would accept with arms wide open this newfound love? Of course not! It wouldn't have happened that way, yet, for a moment, the princess believed it could. She thought about getting married to him. She imagined the dress, the flowers, the smiles. She imagined the vows and the kisses. she imagined her life after the wedding, the pregnancies, the children she would give him. She wanted a child. She wanted a child? Her cheeks turned redder and she chewed at her bottom lip while her eyes looked at her sister.
"Well... it's not off the table. I want to have his children. It didn't last long but I imagined myself with a round belly and another child on my hips. I want to give him a boy, a girl, and perhaps a third child. I want to see him smile and fall in love with our children. I... want to fall in love with my children. little "him and me". -She couldn't help but smile to herself as the thoughts crept on her lips- "Can you imagine me, sister, can you imagine me as a mother?"
"You would be the best mother I've ever known. You are very sweet, Bäahal, very loving, so brave and so strong. I am sure you would be a wonderful mother. I am pleased to see that you have thought about a future that would make you happy. You are my sister, yes, and you have a duty as the princess of the seven kingdoms but, you are your own person, you have your own dreams and I wanted to make sure that you are happy."
"Thank you, Dany. It means the world to me. I really appreciate your confidence in me. " -She smiled at her sister and gently patted her hand- "I've never thought about being married or having children before him. I never thought I could be a good mother. I never thought someone would love me so much that they would want to marry me. It just didn't occur to me." -She twirled some more of her hair and bit her bottom lip.- "Have you ever felt it, sister? Is your heart beating fast and hard against your ribcage? the desire to see your loved ones and to feel them hold you in their arms? I cannot stop thinking about my lover. I can never stop wanting to see him. He.. makes my heart flutter and...I feel shivers go down my spine when I set my eyes upon his."
"I do. I do, when I look at Jon this is what I feel. I did, when I looked at my first husband, my Khal. I feel euphoric, to be honest. I feel as if I was walking on clouds." -She said with a warm smile on her lips.- "If I was able to bear children, I would have had Jon's. I want to." -She sighed and shrugged- "Pregnancy isn't easy, you will feel sick but to think that a little soul is growing inside you. Oh...Bäahal. I really wish for you to experience this. I really wish you can..." -She chuckled softly and then ran her hand over her face.- "I really wish we can get better. I want us to have a better relationship. To resume being sisters."
"We never stopped being sisters, Dany. we never stopped." -Bäahal laid her hands on her lap- "I just... I understand why you'd be worried about me. I almost died during the siege. You almost lost me. I can't really imagine the fear that went through your heart. I can only tell you that I didn't want to leave you behind. I didn't want to lose you. I just wanted to come home, to you." -She yanked her head back and started to massage her scalp- "I miss you. that's the truth here... But I am positive we're getting somewhere better."
"It will work." -Daenerys smiled at her sister, confident this time and Bäahal nodded in agreement-
It will work, it was just a matter of time and patience. Daenerys was pleased to see that the two of them had started talking about more general topics such as love, and motherhood and it was a fresh start. It was something positive and Bäahal hoped that it would help Jaime and her in the long run if Daenerys could see the love they both shared.
-TBC-
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