Jaime x Bäahal: Awkward conversation

"I left King"'s landing because I wanted to find you."

Bäahal had no idea that her words would last in the knight's mind nor that they would have an actual impact on him. What was supposed to be a pleasant conversation between two people trying to figure things out, turned into the worst experience for the Targaryen. Jaime, in his true fashion, forced her to be honest with the reasons that had her leave the safety of King's landing to roam the land without a dragon and with just two young guards. Why was she so insistent about helping him get back on his feet? why did she even want to help him? she didn't expect her heart to pour so fast and so strongly and yet, it did. without her being able to resist, she was left open up about the feelings she had for him.

Love. the joy of telling someone you were in love with him and the dreaded rejection that ensued had to destroy the young woman. it almost did, but her love was too strong for her to fall apart. his rejection was his very right, and she didn't expect a man like him, who had been in love with one person who died -and who he couldn't break up with-, would never return the princess feelings. Lord Tyrion told her so, Ser Varys warned her about the pain of a broken heart and yet, she still stubbornly claimed her love for him. not once, but twice.

She was a fool, she was aware of that. A fool who fell in love with a man who wasn't able to return her feelings. A fool who still wanted to help the man and would do her very best to help him get better. A fool, who realized she couldn't take her with him even if he wanted because his very head was needed on a spike by his many enemies. After all, he was of house Lannister and while Lady Kyra would do her best trying to restore the name of her family, Jaime Lannister was a hated man. how could they? Bâahal secretly wondered if she wasn't cursed. how come the first person she felt love for, turned out to not only be a former enemy, but also a man who wouldn't love her back? was she destined to be heartbroken? to never find love? was it because of the heinous way she was conceived? or was it simply what it was because fate willed so. Ah, Fate... fuck fate!

She would forever burn in her memory the face of the man she said she was in love with. An "old broken knight" as he called himself that day, who shouldn't be redeemed, was met with love instead of scorn. someone who knew who he was and what he did, and yet STILL wanted him. A woman who'd been rejected so hard it would have broken, the floor if the rejection was an object, and who still wanted him. a woman he made cry. A woman he hated to see cry. A woman he desperately wanted to protect, especially from him and his twisted ways. Here they were, sitting on the balcony, staring at the beautiful view of Highgarden...for the last time maybe.

Doya: New Year, Same Me

"New Year, same Me. Like the tacit agreement we always have, Dean and I would not give in to that "transformation" bullshit. We're good, thank you very much.

I wouldn't want to trade the Dickhead I have for someone "proper". I wouldn't want him to be different and if really I was pressed about him accommodating me, the only thing I'd want him to do less is to sacrifice himself for my greater good. I mean.. I don't want him dead, yo! The only issue is that it's usually part of who we are; he gives up on his life, I give up on mine, Hell, Sam even does it so how can we tell each other not to do what's in our DNA? I can't change him and he can't change me so... why change?

I'm part of his family and that's all I ever needed. He's part of mine (Sarah and Joshua Thomas are my only family left after all). That's all. that's all... It's even more than what I expected to have. This new year, I just want to spend more time with him, work more cases with him, keep on building what we are building because I like what we have and I don't want it to change. So, yeah, Happy New Year from Bitch and Dickhead. "

Happy New Year: Elpis and Pride

I welcome this new year with an optimistic vision. I know that it took us so long to finally find each other. I know you had to sacrifice a lot in order to have me back and now that you are back together as a different being, and I lost what we had in the past, I think that this new solstice year is going to help us build a stronger bond between the two of us.

I fell for this new version of you. Slowly, but surely, this new flame is going to be nurtured until it grows into a bright brasier. I would love you with eternal passion, undying loyalty and a constant need to push us further up. I fell in love with you a new "you" and despite being disappointed when I first realized it, I am embracing it. I stayed true to my vows tot he older version of you. I told him I would find you again and my love for you would never falter. Today, this is even truer because I love you more than I ever loved you before. I understand what Sitäa meant when she said that the love I had for older you was puppy love. This... right here, is the real deal, the type of love that would make me erase my own existence if that meant finding you and loving you again. I'm excited for the new year to come because we will enact our vengeance. it will finally happen and those who wronged us would only have their tears to cry. I'm very much looking forward to making it happen... with you.

I love you, Meus Rex;"

Baahal's letter to Daenerys 1

 fast-forwarding a tiny bit. but this is just for fun :)

Bäahal's letter

My dear sister. I penned this letter a couple weeks after I decided to leave King's Landing. I kept thinking of the way you looked at me when we departed and I know, deep down, that you were worried. I know I left very suddenly, without giving you the time to realize what was happening, but I genuinely thought that the royal affairs and your relationship with Jon Snow would take all the space in your heart; Besides, you do know why I did it. I needed to figure myself out, find a new purpose, understand myself better. All my life up until you won the crown back, I was merely molding myself after the wishes of those who had some sort of influence on my life. I tried to honor my mother, then my masters, then you when you set me free. I barely heard my voice and only the wishes of those around me. It was time to put an end to this and face my very own fears.

So I left. I left and I roamed the realm. Jon advised against going alone, so you gave me two guards and I have to say, I appreciate their company. You both were right about my safety, I found out that people truly hate Targaryens and some hate me more because I do have a different skin color than the ones they're used to. I have to face both the haters of the crown, those who hate our blood, those who hate my skin but for each angry soul, there is a good one. You also have supporters, in places you wouldn't believe. Many see you as you are, others changed their opinion over time because I got to talk to them. I think the idea I had to go to them and meet your people was a good one. No one ever did so and you wouldn't endanger your life with these trips. I'd say it's a very pleasant conclusion I drew. However, I have to say, being far away from you makes me realize that I do miss you a lot. I think of the times you combed my hair, and we'd talk about Jon Snow... Since he claimed his love for you and he is your consort, how did the nobles of king's landing and your allies react to it? I hear rumors of people hating on you two even harder now because you're changing too fast, too hard and they're not used to it. I think it's ridiculous of them to reason this way but I guess we have to win their hearts and minds to fully win the war. Do you consider war as over? or do you consider we still have one battle left to lead? I'm more onto the latter. I'm still cautious, please be careful, sister.

I have to go now, but I will write you another letter soon. I promise you that.

With love, your sister

Bäahal Targaryen."