Pride x Elpis: I remember the first time

I remember the first time we met. I couldn't tear my eyes off of you. Creature of the night, I have never ever dreamed of you until you appeared in front of me. Curiosity took the best of me, I have to admit because when I should have walked away from you, I walked towards you.

I remember how it felt, the goosebumps, the heavy breathing, the heartbeats going faster. I remember the electric shock when our fingers touched for the first time, the purple glow in your blue eyes, the pressure in the air forcing me to be acutely aware of my surroundings.

How can I forget you, beloved? How can I, when you shattered the world around me with just one glance?

DOYA: I am family

"Hunting people, saving things... now wait, it's hunting things and saving people. That's your motto isn't it?" Oya whispered in his ear as they were trying to enjoy a meal at a local diner. Dean curbed a brow and shook his head.

"Something like that." He teased her with, making her shrug a little a nudge his sides. "Ow, you're violent tonight." He added, a grin betraying his mood. Oya chuckled and leaned her cheek against the warm palm of her hand. "What?"

"Nothing." She said, her other hand rested on his thigh. " I just really like it. But it's a family motto so I can't say it." She pouted but a smile betrayed her.

"Well.." Dean cleared his throat and gently wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "You're family, so you can say it."

"Am I?" She grinned and held onto his thigh harder.

"Yeah...you've been a pain in my butt for years now, of course, you are." He was grinning at her, half-teasing her, half-genuinely enjoying the moment. Oya knew she was part of this family, of 'Team Free Will' as he nicknamed them. It just never got old when Dean said it and she wanted to hear it from time to time.

"Why, thank you. I'm a Winchester by proxy." She chuckled and nuzzled his neck.

"I thought you were a full-time Winchester? You've got the looks, the skills..."

"But I don't have that charm you and your brothers seem to have. Remember, I tried it and almost got arrested." He gently pulled her into a hug and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"You also don't know how to cook." He whispered in her ear, making her huff and puff some air into her cheeks. "Oh come on, don't pout. it's not cute!"

"I AM cute!" She said, pouting harder. He planted another kiss and then took another bite of his food. "I am more than cute!" She pouted harder and then just leaned against him. "All jokes aside, I like my life right now, it doesn't suck too bad."

"Good."'

It was all he could say, but deep down Dean was happy she was happy here, with him, with this life. He was happy when she was happy and she was happy when she was with him.

-TBC-

Happy holidays 2018!

Here we go again! My favorite moment of the year, the Santa Thong new addition by LELIA.

2018 is almost over, I can't say how excited I am about it. This year felt like two years were crammed into one and still does, so excuse my French, but fuck yes! I can't wait to say goodbye to 2018!

Most of you know last year and at the beginning of this one, I had to battle facial paralysis! I might suffer from minor aftermaths until my last day on this planet but goddamn, I'm doing just fine! It was a very scary time, filled with doubt, panic, and insecurities and to be honest, I was convinced it couldn't get better...until it did. Ah man! The year started as a challenge but I was given so much love and support that it definitely helped.

I don't want to go on and on about what went wrong, because I think I've had enough stress as it is, already. Yes, the lows were very low, life-threatening lows but hey, I'm still breathing so I take it as a victory. I like the ring to it, « Victory. » There have been plenty of these this year and I want to celebrate that. I want to celebrate my friendships because this year definitely had me get closer to some people I really care about and it had me start new friendships as well. « Victory », because I was able to give love and support to my beloved family and friends, which is something I value a lot. To give and be given, I go by this motto. I give as much as I can when I can and I was definitely given a lot this year. A complete 360 in my life! « Victory » because I rekindled my love for writing, I struggled a lot with my book but soon I'll hit page 40. « Victory », because I am still healing from past traumas, and I've made huge progress with my mental health and my ability to speak about my MI and my emotions, especially the bad ones. The list could go on and on and on because, despite all the dread and tears, 2018 brought me something beautiful too, something stronger than any doubt, fear or pain I could have. It brought me, Love.

Yes, Love. Would you look at that? It strengthened the relationship I have with my sisters, it reminded me of the love I already have with my lovelies, my posse, my inner circle. It highlighted the love people I couldn't think of, had for me. I was loved this year, more explicitly than in the previous ones and just thinking of it makes me tear up. I can never take this love for granted because it can come and go because whether we want it or not, we can mess up with someone, or it could stop because life said so. I am especially grateful to those who can endure me during my meltdowns, who can protect me from myself when things become too intense, who can allow me to breathe. I am especially grateful for having you in my life, and for being allowed in yours. I am forever grateful for the love you give me, the trust you have in me and the never ending support you always give me. This year might have been crap, but fuck it! I know I'm leaving 2018 behind and welcome 2019 with a renewed excitement, because of Love.

Happy Holidays !!!!

Doya + Pride and Elpis + Jaime and Bäahal

// Courtesy of my beloved Dean <3 Thank you!

Wherever you go, I go too. I've never been so certain of something in my life until you. I tried to deny the comfort I felt when I was by your sides, but it didn't work, did it? I couldn't hide the fact I loved borrowing your shirts, sleeping in them at night while you would hug me and stroke my hair. I couldn't hide the fact I was always looking for a good time with you, whether we were hunting monsters and I got some adrenaline kick out of it, or during our downtime, when there was nothing between the two of us. I love both. I love the adventure you and me are. I love the thrill of the hunts and the shivers you send down my spine when you look at me. I love when your powerful arms wrap around me and pull me into a hug, against you, where I feel safe. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything in the world. Don't you see? wherever you go, I go, because life means nothing, when you are not in it. Life means nothing....when you're not with me.

xxx

"People change. It is very true to human beings. They would change, become new people, reinvent themselves over the course of their lives. Us, gods, never changed. Or so I thought. We were supposed to remain the very same from the moment of our birth to the moment of our death. Case in point, my brother Leviathan had never once, been different from who he was. Arrogant, Selfish, violent, those traits never disappeared. He didn't even, consider himself as flawed and therefore wasn't inclined to become different. if he couldn't change, why would the others do it? Why would /I/ change and why would Pride change?

Pride had always been the same. Selfish, vain, arrogant. There was no room for growth, no room for change and yet, somehow, when he came to know me, I was able to smooth the angles. I was able to make him see life differently. I was able to make him....care for me. So he did grow, he did change. he did become someone new, someone, different. I loved him through his change, didn't I? I accepted he was different. So why was I confused and afraid we wouldn't like each other because we were different now?

"I will find you," I swore on my vanishing breath. I knew I would find him and I would love him regardless of how different he was and how different I was. People change, men and gods alike.

xxxx

"Are you even listening?"

Lord Tyrion looked at princess Bäahal whose gaze was focused on a rolled on a message she was holding onto her fingers. She wasn't listening to the Hand of the Queen because her mind was lost in the past. They were a couple of weeks before the war against Cersei and a strategy was absolutely needed to defeat the queen. Cersei realized that Daenerys dragons could be killed and had put her trust into a very dangerous man she made her hand. He was without a doubt, able to bring the dead back to life, so of course, he would be able to find ways to kill Rhaegal and Drogon. Therefore, they couldn't put the dragons at risk and had to use them very carefully. It was frustrating to say the very least but what was even more frustrating was the "disinterest" showed by the princess.

"I am listening to Lord Tyrion... I am."

Was all Bäahal could come up with. It was a lie, a very big one given how distracted by the message she was. Tyrion's green eyes set upon the woman and then quickly glanced at the note she was holding. He wasn't an idiot, he knew that since his brother left Winterfell with their sister, Bâahal had tried to get in touch with Lady Kyra, in hopes to hear from her. It was foolish, dangerous even and certainly, a faux-pas Tyrion had to cut down. He took a deep breath and walked towards the princess, his eyes planted into her purple hues.

"Under any other circumstances, I would have entertained the idea of you being friends with my little sister. I have seen how much you cared for her..."

"But?.." She looked away, quickly shuffling the paper in her hand.

"We are at war, princess. This... what you're doing right now, is a weakness we cannot afford to have. "

The truth was, Her mind was filled w with Jaime Lannister. How a nobleman and skilled warrior was to be lost because of Love. She was missing him, his presence in the castle, his sarcastic banter, and his blunt opinion. No matter how hard she tried to take the memory of him out of her mind, it was still coming back to her. He was still haunting her. Tyrion sensed it. He knew it and he knew that while she genuinely cared for Kyra, she dangerously cared for his brother too. Bäahal swallowed a lump and clenched her fists.

"Princess..." Tyrion's voice was a little softer, although still firm. He put his hand on top of hers. "Princess,...I am sure you do understand. You need to let it go."

"I don't know what you are talking about Lord Tyrion. I am focused, my sister's goal is mine. Are you so afraid of me giving up on Dany for some confused emotions? I would never sacrifice her dream because of petty feelings."

Tyrion paused for a while, his hand still holding onto the princess. He squeezed harder and gave her a sigh.

"I know you are loyal to the queen and you would sacrifice your life to help her achieve her goal. I am not worried about your resolve. I am worried about your..."

"My heart?... What possible outcome should there be when you appreciate an enemy? I already know I shouldn't appreciate your brother. I shouldn't feel grateful for killing my father. I shouldn't feel sorry for him or...I shouldn't wish he wasn't in love with Cersei because she's wasting him away. I already know all of this."

"....Doesn't make it any easier to know it." Tyrion said with a shrug. "It actually makes it worse." He quietly said, patting her hand with his before he removed it. "I know we can't really choose what our hearts want, but I told you, Princess, pain is..."

"I'm used to pain, Lord Tyrion. What I would be afraid of, would be joy and pleasure. It would be.... happiness. This, is worse than any pain in the world because I don't know how to react to it. I don't know how to handle it. I don't even think I deserve it. This.. this is worse than pain. Don't worry about me and Lord Jaime. There is nothing to lose, nothing to be afraid of. There is...nothing, really, but respect and gratitude." She smiled at him and gently patted his shoulder. "It's just a shame he will die if he meets me, unless he kills me."

"It's a shame really."

we're not good with words (DOYA)

We're not really good with words, are we? I keep my feelings close to my heart, I whisper them to you when I think you're asleep, hints, bits, and pieces but never the full picture. It doesn't really matter because I know you know. You've always known, haven't you? from the moment you took me in and allowed me in your life, you always knew. I couldn't pinpoint exactly, how or when... but I know that the day I gave you that necklace, they existed.

We're not really good we words aren't we? You especially. It took me a while to get you, to understand you actually wanted me to stay in your life, to stop trying to run away from the Bunker, from you but once I got it, phew.. once I got it, I stayed. I knew.

We both know words can lie, most of them are lies anyway. You'd tell me you're fine but I will see you're not. I'd tell you I'm okay but you'll know I'm not. I cannot taint those feelings with words. I cannot believe yours if you told me. We've been deceived, used, abused even because we fell for sweet words so never again! never ever again. I don't need them, because you make me feel the way you do. You show me and I'm good with it. I'm good with you. There are days, yeah, it happens... I wonder if you understand how much I care for you? there are days I wonder if my actions and my presence in your life were enough.

I wonder if my hands in your hair, my lips to your neck, my heartbeat matching yours would be enough for you to understand. I wonder if you know how devastated I would be if you ever died, how all of my nightmares are about losing you, holding your dead body in my arms. How empty I would be if you ever left me... I wonder if you know or if I should say the words.

I think of it, but suddenly I forget when I feel your arms around my frame. I forget when you pull me against you as we go through our cases. I forget as you kiss me with all you have. I forget because I know you're giving me all of you, and I'm giving you all of me, And we're good....we're good because you make me happy.

Chronicles of the Primeval gods: Life and Death of Ayasha: "Love"

// She wanted to speak, so I let her. I <3 you.

Ayasha was staring at the fountain of truth which allowed her to watch the mortal realm. She knew by now that there was a chance close to zero that Pride and her sister show up on Earth, but it didn't matter to her at this instant. The quiet surroundings allowed for an introspection. Memories of her older sister, Sitäa the primeval goddess of Love, came back to haunt her mind.

She warned Ayasha about the power of love on her final breath. Despite hours of torture, the goddess still refused to tell her where Pride and the vessel Elpis' soul was sealed into were hiding. She endured unspeakable pain because she loved Elpis and wanted to protect her. Was Love, truly that powerful? Ayasha believed it was a weakness, it was what allowed Elpis to be cursed in the first place and what allowed Ayasha to manipulate their brother Ishtar. Love was the reason the pantheon destroyed itself from within and helped Ayasha claim the position she had today.

Doubt still crept into her mind because there was still something she couldn't really anticipate. Elpis and Pride. She knew her sister was determined but didn't take into consideration that the love she felt for the Sin would be this powerful. Did it really set her free or was his anger and bloodthirst? Could Love be anything more than just a weakness? She tapped her fingers onto the fountain and huffed some air into her blonde locks. Love couldn't be stronger than knowledge. Love couldn't possibly be a threat, especially a non-requited love.

All I want for Christmas: Part 2: Let me love you.

A/N: Finally, 2^nd and last part of that little bit between Asma and Jessica. <3

xxxxx

How long had Asma been in the kitchen? Jessica couldn't tell anymore. The quiet noise of the clock on the wall was becoming harder to handle. The brunette tapped her fingers against the table, impatiently waiting for her sister to return from the kitchen. Her blue eyes averted from the wall to the front door but Asma didn't come back. She laid her hand flat against the table and turned it around so she could stare at her blood-soaked palms. She had cleaned everything else before she came home, she always made sure to clean herself before she set foot in her house so her children wouldn't witness how much of a bloody mess their mother was and wouldn't suspect anything. She always did, but that night, she forgot to scrub her hands. Asma was aware of what she used to do -what she was still doing-, but Jessica didn't mention she was still killing.

Truth mattered to her, more than anything else, but she couldn't bring herself to be fully honest with the tattoo artist. The night she confessed about her past deeds was already risky. It could have gone sideways, Asma could have rejected her and Jessica remembered how nervous she was back then. Today was no different, her stomach was tied on a knot and she was holding her breath. She knew Asma would be mad for keeping the truth from her. Opie told Jessica how difficult it was for Asma to cope with her absence. She knew her sister tried to find answers and was frustrated by the silence and secrecy surrounding SAMCRO and the KNIGHTS. It was what it was, Jessica tried to rationalize. She couldn't tell the whole truth but that didn't mean she wasn't true. Wasn't it all that mattered? To be true to each other? Yes, it was...

Still...

Tonight, she wished the floor would open and swallow her whole. She ran her hand through her hair and held a fistful of honey locks, while her eyes were glued to the main door. Asma was washing her hands for a while now. They were clean already but she couldn't stop scrubbing her skin, to the point of irritating it. It wasn't so much the sight of blood that triggered her. It was the fact Jessica came home, seemingly unharmed and clean, only to leave a blood print on her skin. It felt like a white lie had been exposed. It felt like the truth jumped on her face and knocked her down. She was upset, her stomach was also tied on a knot while her mind was so filled with noise she couldn't hear her thoughts. Panic had her repeat the same gestures in order to calm her nerves but it was starting to hurt so she stopped the stream of hot water and bit her bottom lip. For a split second, she thought the blood was Jessica's and it wrecked a nerve. She still remembered that time they went to the hospital -how she hated hospitals- when they found a severely beaten up Jessica. She could have died that night if someone had not found her; She would have been dead and the whole family would have heard the bad news from very sorry doctors. Tonight just reminded her how mortal Jessica was. It also exposed the big fat ugly truth of Jessica still running around taking risky jobs and playing with her life every damn night.

Her lips were shaking and she hit the sink with her hand, making a noise that alarmed Jessica who straightened up on her chair. Asma ran her hand into her black locks and looked at the ceiling. She was pissed, but was she pissed because of the secrets, or was she pissed because she was worried? Her mind was still buzzing with noise, so she decided to act on instincts and let the words out. They had to talk, Since she returned from wherever she was, Jessica and Asma didn't have time to sit and have an actual conversation, so now was a perfect time. Asma nodded to herself and quickly left the kitchen. Jessica stood up, unable to sit still once her sister returned to her.

«Asma... »

« Every damn night... » -Asma started.- « Every damn night I wake up from a nightmare I have about Alex, about you...Every night I wonder if you will come back in one piece or if I will have to attend your funerals. »

« Asma... » Jessica lowered her head, her eyes shifty-eyed from left to right. « That's the-- »

« That's the life, I know! I have always known. I am not stupid! » She said, as she rested her hands on her waist. « I knew long before you told me about your past that you were doing this kind of shit! I had a brother, remember? He was a sixty niners, so I knew deep down that you were in the same business, that Jax was in that business too. » Jessica felt cornered. What could she actually say when she knew Asma was right? She didn't want to argue, not right now, so she decided to ask a question and get this over with.

« Are you mad at me? » -She anticipated the answer but still wished it was a 'no'. -

«YES! Yes, I am! I am mad because you all decided I shouldn't know the truth about you. I am mad because you willingly left me in the dark, all of you. I have patched the boys several times already. Bullet wounds, stabbing wounds, you fucking name it. Do you think I didn't do the maths? Do you think I didn't know what was going on? I did ! I fucking did but I said nothing because I wanted /you/ to tell me. Then.. then Jessica you disappeared on us. For weeks we didn't know where you've been! Jax was going crazy here! He was scared for you, anxious, nervous, empty without you! How do you think I felt ??? »

« Asma... I really couldn't tell Jax where I was. If I can't tell Jax, I can't tell anyone else.» She honestly could not have. In order to protect her family, she had to keep her mission a secret. Hearing Asma's finally vomiting her emotions hurt Jessica. She knew it was to happen, somehow, someday, but she had not anticipated it to be this early and even less to be this violent. She could see the pain on her sister's face, the fear that transpired in her shaky voice, the defensive posture she took to protect herself, her heart. Jessica knew Asma was mad at her, but hearing the words felt like a slap in the face. So she lowered her head again and took a deep breath.

« You could have told me when you came back! You should have. You should have told me you were still working so I didn't discover it by accident! You should have told me with your words and you should have trusted me! You don't, not even today, not even after all we went through. You do /not/ trust /my/ love for you Jessica. And it hurts you know that? It does... hurt...so... much. » She said, finally sobbing as words escaped from her lips. Jessica was shocked at the words, for they have been far from the truth. Of course, she trusted her, why would she ask her to keep the kids if she didn't trust her? Her eyes were wide open and stared at the sobbing woman in front of her.

« I didn't want to hurt you. Asma, I tried to tell you, I rehearsed in my head the words I was going to say but I just could not. » She said, as she pulled Asma into a hug. Her arms wrapped around the inker's shoulders and her head, while Asma's arms wrapped around her waist and kept her close. For a few minutes, the only noise that filled the room was Asma's sobs. Jessica comforted her the best she could but emotions got to her, the guilt she tried to rationalize yet again. Did she really behave in a way that would make Asma think she didn't trust her enough to tell her the truth? Her mind was racing, trying to understand the situation and walk in Asma's shoes. If Jax had been pulling this shit on her, Jessica knew she would have reacted like this, even worse than Asma did. « Look how worried you were when I didn't tell you what I was doing. Imagine how worried you'd be if you knew everything? I didn't want you to live with fear in your guts, like when Oscar was still alive. »

« It's not up to you to decide for me, Jessica. We're family and I mean my words. That also means I have to know what's going on. » Asma managed to say in between sobs. « I know that the less I know, the better it is. I understand that. I don't need you to tell me everything, I just need you to be true to me Jessica, please. » She said as she pulled away from her to look into her blue eyes.

«I know... » What more could she say? Asma had a point, she had to be true, but sometimes the whole truth could cause more damage than a little bit of it. She knew Asma meant well, but there was still a chance that she would leave. Her eyes were filled with fear and her body stiffened as she stared at her sister. Asma moistened her lips and gently cupped Jessica's cheeks.

« I'm not going anywhere, Jessica. I know you're afraid that knowing the truth would tear us apart, but it cannot because I know you. It cannot bring us apart because I know that life. My brother was part of it, my father was military so I know what it is to put your life on the line and for your loved ones to be worried about you. I know that life. » She said stroking Jessica's pale cheeks. « I need you to be true to me, so I can love all of you, including that part. » She said, as she gave her a smile through her tears. « So please, let me love you just as you are. » She whispered, her hazel eyes stared into Jessica's who opened them wide and chewed at her bottom lip.

It seemed like nothing at first, A couple of words, but it was enough to have Jessica tear up. She suddenly realized she had been holding her breath for so long and sighed in relief. A tear rolled onto her cheeks but was quickly wiped out by Asma's thumb. Her hands held onto the ebony inker's wrists and she nodded again. It seemed like nothing at first, but now that the truth came out, it felt like a rebirth.

-TBC-

My love is serene

A little poem for tonight :) A very special one :)

"I took a risk that night when I opened up to you for the first time. I anticipated what to expect, what you would say, I ran plans into my head in case things went sideways so it wouldn't hurt too much because that's what I used to do. Love, for me, was always a slippery slope. It led to disappointments, and pain and rejection. That was what I used to know, well, until you. I remember the words I said 'Is it possible to miss someone you've never hugged before?'. I remember words left my lips without me realizing and you simply said: "I miss you too." Neat! simple! true. You read into me like an open book, cracked the code and oh, I know I wanted to hug you that night like never before.

I remember our first "I love you". Said one night before I fell asleep on you. my fingertips itched all night because I wanted to say those words to you, knowing full well that you would understand them the way I meant them. You were part of my life, you were a dear friend, a loved one. I stuck my neck out there, closing my eyes as tight as I could because I was afraid you'd shut yourself down, but you didn't. You said them back. You said.... oh.. I remember. Love was taking a different meaning. It wasn't so much about pain and fear. You taught me otherwise. Well, I learned otherwise.

My love is serene. my love is certain. I grew into the feelings I have for you. They are endless, boundless, and complete. A love I never thought I could ever experience someday. You're my friend, my best friend, my family. You're my soulmate. I know it. And we walk the path of life and all I ever want for you is to be happy, And I know you love me too, which is a luxury I never thought I would have. I remember, "Allow me to love you too." you said, when that one very bad night, I was convinced it was over when my mind got the best of me over something petty. "Allow me to be there for you," you said that day too. "I will be there." And you are still. Holding the heart I carefully put in your hands. Caring for me in ways I never thought I deserved. I allowed you in and you never left.

This is it, that Love I was looking for. Serene and certain. Because you might not be a man of many words, but you always showed up. You always showed me. You simply are and I couldn't wish you to be any different. I love all of you. Like you love all of me. And I long for the days I could say these words in your ear so you could know in the secrets of our whispers, just how much I think the world of you. "

doya: christmas

You'd think that with her love for ugly aprons and corny t-shirts, Oya would enjoy Christmas. It couldn't be more wrong. She hated the holiday ever since she was a kid. She never enjoyed the big family reunion with people she never met before, It became even harder for her after the slaughter of her family. Christmas was less about "Santa" than about "Jesus and how he was born and the angels and the whole savior shit." Indeed, it was about God and despite the death of the Asambosam, Oya was still bitter and traumatized by the death of her family. She was avoiding the Thomas' home for the holidays because they would be celebrating. You bet they would. Joshua was now engaged to his former girlfriend. Sarah had a family with toddler twins, they were bound to celebrate Christmas and Oya wanted no part in that. She was grateful the Winchesters weren't big on holidays because for every year in the last 3 she spent with them, they always skipped Christmas.

Dean would take her to work a case so they could spend time together while saving people and he would keep her mind busy. It was a small gesture, but she was grateful he never let her be on her own around Christmas. He never did, just like she managed to be there with the brothers during the anniversaries of their parents' deaths. A small gesture that meant the world to each other.

This year was the same as the previous ones. She already was crankier than usual, silent and withdrawn. She already was being reckless when she fought monsters, willing to take unnecessary risks that could cost her her life because she wanted to punish herself for her family's slaughter. Dean understood her guilt. he understood the unhealthy ways she was coping with her loss because it mirrored his. He understood the unspoken words of horror and grief, for he spoke the same language and maybe, because it was her and because he had the power to make her feel better, Dean decided to take her with him, so she would feel better; Happier.

He wanted her happy.

And she was when she was with him.

Always.

Elpis and Pride: Revenge

Revenge was nothing if the loss was insignificant. The bigger the loss, the more rewarding the revenge. In Elpis' case, Revenge would feel like a rebirth. Long before she was born her path was decided. She would become the sweet love child of Gaea and Khaos. She would become a goddess who would serve and satisfy her family's desires. She was built to serve, comfort, soothe and induce enough willpower into the hearts of the mighty that they would never stop. Hope was meant to keep them powerful, drive their hearts, maintain the faith of their worshippers at all-time highs. She was a tool and nothing else, whether or not her siblings loved her was beside the point. She couldn't choose.

Until she could.

Meeting Pride was akin to setting a bomb off. It destroyed everything. The goddess was set free, from her golden cage. she was liberated from the control forced upon her by her peers and for the first time could choose for herself.

She chose Pride, of course. She chose Love. For the first time since she was born, she felt a true connection with another being. Pride was complicated, he always had been, but she still was able to build something with him. They were strong, they were powerful, they couldn't have been stopped and because their love stroke fears in the heart of her family, they were denied their love. She was cursed and erased from every being's memories and he was unmade and remade. She lost the Sin she was in love with; She lost the life she was promised, the one she so fiercely thought to protect and live. She was betrayed by her siblings, both in the past and millennia later. The allies she had died by the hands of her enemies, Khrön, Sitäa... and the several other siblings she had were all killed by Ishtar and Ayasha. Nothing was left but dust and bones. Nothing was left

But she was reborn. She was back into the mortal realm and she was hell-bent on reclaiming all that was stolen away from her. All... including Pride.

All I want for Christmas: Part 1: Are we good?

All I want for Christmas: Part 1: Are we good?

xxxxx

"Jess...."

Asma said her name, her eyes still heavy from the sleep that was interrupted. She had barely slept that night, mostly because she kept an eye on the kids while Jessica and Jax weren't home doing God knew what. It always was stressful for the tattoo artist, because she never knew if they would come back home or how they would come back home. While the kids kept her busy, screaming, playing, crying and laughing, she was busy thinking of her family. She could feel her insides churn at the thought of them not coming back, and felt nauseous at the thought of them bleeding from various injuries. It was to be expected after all. it was the job. They would be hurt and sometimes so hard that stitches weren't enough. But not every night, not all the time and maybe, eventually, tonight they wouldn't be. She was hoping for this.

"Asma?"

Jessica fetched herself a cup of coffee and gave Asma her own. She was grateful her sister took on babysitting duties without hesitating but couldn't help but see how worried she was. Her forehead creased like it always did when she was upset. The brunette sat next to her friend and gently put her alabaster hand above the shaking ebony's hand. Her eyes were warm, far warmer than they were moments ago but she cursed under her breath once she realized that she had not cleaned her hands before. They were still soaked with blood and it just covered the skin of the inker's hand. tic...tac.. tic..tac, the only noise that filled the room was the clock on the wall. a silence filled with anxious looks Jessica's blue orbs gave Asma. She still was unpredictable and Jessica swallowed hard. Asma glanced at her hand and stared at the blood smeared all over her skin. She then looked at Jessica again, this time checking for injuries.

"Yours?" She asked. her voice shaking. Jessica shook her head, but Asma insisted. "Are you injured?"

"No. No Asma I'm not. I'm fine. I promise." She was tense, her breathing was shorter and she barely could feel her body move. "It's not mine, I promise" she added before her eyes looked away for a brief second.

"I see..." -Asma trailed off and stood up.- "I'll need to wash this then."

"Asma..." Jessica's voice was full of questions she couldn't ask. She didn't understand Asma's reaction and couldn't decide whether or not her sister was alright with all of this. "Talk to me."

"We're good Jess. We're good. I'll just wash my hands and I'll come back and we'll talk about.." She paused "I forgot. we'll talk about what I wanted to say."

"Y-Yeah. We'll do that. Was it about Christmas?" Jessica was hesitant still. Asma turned on her heels.

"Something like that! I'll be---"

"Are we really good??" Jessica stood up and turned around to face Asma who stopped mid-way and turned around. "You're not saying this now and then change your mind later?"

"Jess....No! No of course not. I just...I'll wash my hands and I'll be back. We're good. I promise you that, we're good."

And she disappeared into the kitchen, leaving a mortified Jessica alone in the living room.

-TBC-

// <3 <3 <3 It didn't want to leave my mind until it was written. so here it is. I promise, no drama <3 just a long overdue conversation.