My love is serene

A little poem for tonight :) A very special one :)

"I took a risk that night when I opened up to you for the first time. I anticipated what to expect, what you would say, I ran plans into my head in case things went sideways so it wouldn't hurt too much because that's what I used to do. Love, for me, was always a slippery slope. It led to disappointments, and pain and rejection. That was what I used to know, well, until you. I remember the words I said 'Is it possible to miss someone you've never hugged before?'. I remember words left my lips without me realizing and you simply said: "I miss you too." Neat! simple! true. You read into me like an open book, cracked the code and oh, I know I wanted to hug you that night like never before.

I remember our first "I love you". Said one night before I fell asleep on you. my fingertips itched all night because I wanted to say those words to you, knowing full well that you would understand them the way I meant them. You were part of my life, you were a dear friend, a loved one. I stuck my neck out there, closing my eyes as tight as I could because I was afraid you'd shut yourself down, but you didn't. You said them back. You said.... oh.. I remember. Love was taking a different meaning. It wasn't so much about pain and fear. You taught me otherwise. Well, I learned otherwise.

My love is serene. my love is certain. I grew into the feelings I have for you. They are endless, boundless, and complete. A love I never thought I could ever experience someday. You're my friend, my best friend, my family. You're my soulmate. I know it. And we walk the path of life and all I ever want for you is to be happy, And I know you love me too, which is a luxury I never thought I would have. I remember, "Allow me to love you too." you said, when that one very bad night, I was convinced it was over when my mind got the best of me over something petty. "Allow me to be there for you," you said that day too. "I will be there." And you are still. Holding the heart I carefully put in your hands. Caring for me in ways I never thought I deserved. I allowed you in and you never left.

This is it, that Love I was looking for. Serene and certain. Because you might not be a man of many words, but you always showed up. You always showed me. You simply are and I couldn't wish you to be any different. I love all of you. Like you love all of me. And I long for the days I could say these words in your ear so you could know in the secrets of our whispers, just how much I think the world of you. "