Here we go again! My favorite moment of the year, the Santa Thong new addition by LELIA.
2018 is almost over, I can't say how excited I am about it. This year felt like two years were crammed into one and still does, so excuse my French, but fuck yes! I can't wait to say goodbye to 2018!
Most of you know last year and at the beginning of this one, I had to battle facial paralysis! I might suffer from minor aftermaths until my last day on this planet but goddamn, I'm doing just fine! It was a very scary time, filled with doubt, panic, and insecurities and to be honest, I was convinced it couldn't get better...until it did. Ah man! The year started as a challenge but I was given so much love and support that it definitely helped.
I don't want to go on and on about what went wrong, because I think I've had enough stress as it is, already. Yes, the lows were very low, life-threatening lows but hey, I'm still breathing so I take it as a victory. I like the ring to it, « Victory. » There have been plenty of these this year and I want to celebrate that. I want to celebrate my friendships because this year definitely had me get closer to some people I really care about and it had me start new friendships as well. « Victory », because I was able to give love and support to my beloved family and friends, which is something I value a lot. To give and be given, I go by this motto. I give as much as I can when I can and I was definitely given a lot this year. A complete 360 in my life! « Victory » because I rekindled my love for writing, I struggled a lot with my book but soon I'll hit page 40. « Victory », because I am still healing from past traumas, and I've made huge progress with my mental health and my ability to speak about my MI and my emotions, especially the bad ones. The list could go on and on and on because, despite all the dread and tears, 2018 brought me something beautiful too, something stronger than any doubt, fear or pain I could have. It brought me, Love.
Yes, Love. Would you look at that? It strengthened the relationship I have with my sisters, it reminded me of the love I already have with my lovelies, my posse, my inner circle. It highlighted the love people I couldn't think of, had for me. I was loved this year, more explicitly than in the previous ones and just thinking of it makes me tear up. I can never take this love for granted because it can come and go because whether we want it or not, we can mess up with someone, or it could stop because life said so. I am especially grateful to those who can endure me during my meltdowns, who can protect me from myself when things become too intense, who can allow me to breathe. I am especially grateful for having you in my life, and for being allowed in yours. I am forever grateful for the love you give me, the trust you have in me and the never ending support you always give me. This year might have been crap, but fuck it! I know I'm leaving 2018 behind and welcome 2019 with a renewed excitement, because of Love.
Happy Holidays !!!!
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