we're not good with words (DOYA)

We're not really good with words, are we? I keep my feelings close to my heart, I whisper them to you when I think you're asleep, hints, bits, and pieces but never the full picture. It doesn't really matter because I know you know. You've always known, haven't you? from the moment you took me in and allowed me in your life, you always knew. I couldn't pinpoint exactly, how or when... but I know that the day I gave you that necklace, they existed.

We're not really good we words aren't we? You especially. It took me a while to get you, to understand you actually wanted me to stay in your life, to stop trying to run away from the Bunker, from you but once I got it, phew.. once I got it, I stayed. I knew.

We both know words can lie, most of them are lies anyway. You'd tell me you're fine but I will see you're not. I'd tell you I'm okay but you'll know I'm not. I cannot taint those feelings with words. I cannot believe yours if you told me. We've been deceived, used, abused even because we fell for sweet words so never again! never ever again. I don't need them, because you make me feel the way you do. You show me and I'm good with it. I'm good with you. There are days, yeah, it happens... I wonder if you understand how much I care for you? there are days I wonder if my actions and my presence in your life were enough.

I wonder if my hands in your hair, my lips to your neck, my heartbeat matching yours would be enough for you to understand. I wonder if you know how devastated I would be if you ever died, how all of my nightmares are about losing you, holding your dead body in my arms. How empty I would be if you ever left me... I wonder if you know or if I should say the words.

I think of it, but suddenly I forget when I feel your arms around my frame. I forget when you pull me against you as we go through our cases. I forget as you kiss me with all you have. I forget because I know you're giving me all of you, and I'm giving you all of me, And we're good....we're good because you make me happy.