OYA AND DEAN : Heartbroken

A/N: Castiel doesn't play around! all usual disclaimer! SPN belongs to its owners and Oya belongs to me

xxx

Oya fell asleep a few minutes after Dean and Sam left. She took her meds and quietly walked back to her bedroom. Truth was, the exchanges she had with Dean since she left him to follow that lead had not been pleasant. She had no idea of where they stood at except that he did care enough for her to stay nearby. He allowed her to be in the bunker, allowed her to recover inside safe walls. He allowed her presence around him but put a distance between the two of them. Understandable. She couldn't blame him for it but it sure didn't feel great to be the bad guy. She cursed under her breath for having held his hand and for the kiss she forced on him in a moment of panic. It was an impulsive move, one that came from her daydream about the moment of passion they shared during their hunt.

He didn't seem like his usual self. He could try to fool her all he wanted, Oya was cunning and she knew something was off. He didn't eat his food, skipped eating bacon -Dean, not eating bacon? very unlikely.-, looked like he received a severe beatdown and was at the end of his life. It scared Oya from the moment he came back and it didn't sit well with her. She was scared. From the outside, the African beauty might have looked like a looney, but she trusted her instincts. She was right about Dean. But more than that she was worried. The mere idea of losing him was driving her crazy but she couldn't process it just yet. She knew the hunter was a hothead and most likely would run towards danger if given the opportunity. She had the time to observe him and could recognize the common traits of someone who blamed themselves for all the evil in the world. He was carrying the world on his shoulder, the pain of the deaths surrounding him, the pain of being left alone and she.....obviously ripped open the wound. She drove him away and because of that, he would throw himself towards danger like he always did.

« You have to wake up Oya. It's time for your meds. » Castiel's voice pierced the silence. It was monotonous as usual but loud enough for her to actually open her eyes.

« Castiel.... You came. » Her voice was cold to the angel. He always welcomed her cold attitude with the classic stoic attitude he always displayed.

« Dean asked me to. »

« Yeah...I know. » She painfully sat on the bed and leaned against the headset. Castiel handed her the pills and a glass of water she chugged down swiftly.

It was stiff, it was uncomfortable between the two of them and Castiel never really asked her why she was so pissed off by his mere presence. He never did anything to her, they barely spoke but anytime he did open his mouth, the African hunter always rolled her eyes at the back of her eyesockets or grunted or came up with a snarky remark. She hated him, or so he thought but he didn't care much about her, he didn't care much about what the world thought of him unless the opinion came from people he truly valued like the Winchesters or his fellow angels. Castiel sat on a chair near the bed and stared at her blankly, which unsettled the hunter who looked away from him, at the window and the pitch black of the night. The brothers possibly have not arrived just yet, which was a temporary relief for the woman. Castiel didn't care much about her being cold to him because usually it only stopped at banter. She never attacked him physically or tried harder in her attempts at bickering. This time seemed to be the same so he shrugged it off.

Her mind was wandering off, towards Dean and the desire she felt for him. The shivers his touch sent to her spine, the goosebumps on her skin were evidence of her affection for the man. She craved these, she craved his lips on her skin, his arms around her waist and his voice in her ear cracking up jokes to make her laugh. She dreamed of her wearing his red tiled shirt and straddle him on a bed with a beer in their hands. She dreamed about an intimacy she lost when her fiancé died by her hands. And that was confusing the hell out of her. That was scaring her. It was silly but it exactly was the very same she had with Sam except for the sexual attraction and Sam was a friend. He was a friend right? So Dean was a friend with benefits.. so why feeling irrational about losing him? Her hands starting to move as anxiety overwhelmed her. Oya clenched and unclenched her fists as she tried to calm herself down to no use. Wendigos weren't easy enemies, quite the opposite and Dean looked like Death when she saw him that morning. Why did he go? Her legs shook but she tried to keep her mind focused on something else and glanced at the angel who was minding his own business ;

« We had sex. » It came out wrong, it came out too fast and it made her groan and blush. Castiel lifted a brow in genuine confusion but didn't ask about it. « Dean and I... We had sex that other day during our hunt. » She repeated, mostly talking to herself now. Her heart was racing and she held tight onto the sheets.

« I.. don't care? » He began with, eyeing the mortal in sheer incomprehension. « Why do you tell m-- »

« We had sex and it was.... mind-blowing and I didn't expect it to happen you know? »  She sounded excited as if she had discovered fire or something. He didn't really understand why she was telling him all of this or why, but he could feel a small relief from her which changed from the cold she welcomed him with. Besides.. Dean had sex with her? Castiel wasn't the type of being who would enjoy chatting about anyone's sexual life. Although he had a taste of it when he briefly was human, that didn't mean he would want to gossip about it, especially not when it was about the Winchesters. It still was quite the surprise given the loud and brash personality of this lady here. Castiel didn't think they would ever but it did happen.

« ….Okay? »

« No, you don't get it Castiel. It was warm, it was.... it felt like home. We didn't make love, I'd know if I was making love but it sure felt like it. We argued. »

« First, I don't need details. Then, you always argue with people. You argue with me constantly Oya. » He tried to stop her from talking by pointing the obvious but she shook her head and kept talking.

« I don't care! You don't get it! You don't get it... after all these years I thought it would never be possible...to feel this close to someone. I let him see me. I let him hear me. I let him touch me in ways nobody had in the past...I looked him in the eyes while I always made sure I didn't even put a face or a name on people I fucked before. I.. said his name Castiel. » She blushed harder and pressed her lips against her forefinger as she started to think.

« What do you want me to say? » He looked at her unsure of how to interpret her babbles. He wasn't her best friend, didn't want any detail, didn't even want to enter this conversation. All of it made him shrug. « Oya, listen. »

She wasn't listening, she wouldn't listen because she realized that the way she cared about Dean was a lot more complex than she first expected. Her heart was racing against her ribcage and she shook her head. No ! Oya didn't want to care about Dean that much. He couldn't come close to her heart, no one could. Those she cared about always died, like her mom who was killed by her possessed brother. Like her dead who was killed by cancer because he lost a son to a demon, he didn't notice. Like her fiance, she had to kill because he was possessed by a demon because he went on a hunt without her. Dean.. Dean was now rushing towards his death because of her. Because she betrayed him and he hunted alone.. because she hurt him and he didn't want to stay in the same place as her. Her eyes grew wide and she shook her head. Her fingers went through her black locks and she groaned loudly. Castiel straightened on his seat. What was wrong with Oya? She was a bit hard to follow and it might have a lot to do with him being unwilling to really getting to know her since she was so venomous whenever they talked together. But he wasn't heartless and he wasn't an ass so of course, he tried to know what was wrong.

« What's wrong Oya? »

« you have to help him Castiel! You have to go help him fight those Wendigos! »

« What are you talking about?  He has fought them before and he can handle them. » His tone was trying to remain his usual monotonous self but she was growing even more worried now.

« You haven't seen him Castiel! He looked like Death. Ever since he went to fight the witch on his own he came back wrong. He didn't eat his bacon this morning, he looked sick.. he.. he.. we argued... »

« Arguing is your second nature. How could that be unusual ?» He stood up and came close to her frame. It was a shot fired at her

« I swear on my life if something happens to him and you didn't go and help, I will kill you! »

« Stop! » He said firmly but Oya was worried and blinded by her fear, she refused to calm down. She pushed aside the sheets and put her feet on the floor. « Calm down, » he commanded, exasperated by her defiant attitude. « Right now! »

«NO !!! » She yelled at him, visibly furious that he didn't want to do as she requested. «  You don't get to tell me to calm down Angel! » It was his cue that she wasn't ready to listen to him. « I'm telling you that Dean is in danger and you are NOT listening! You are NEVER listening, you angels! You come around feeling haughty and powerful because you have a nice pair of wings and some white light but you are fucking poison! You're unable to manage your bloody place so monsters can sneak out like those Leviathans did or whatever it is you're hiding there! You look at us with disdain because we are so small! And we are here, left to suffer from not even some hope in our hearts! You're not listening! Is God even listening when we pray to him? » She forced herself back onto her feet, opening her wound in the process but she was angry and desperate because of Dean's situation. Castiel stiffened when she mentioned God but he still took a few steps forward so she would back down and sit on the bed, which she didn't.

«You are so full of yourself Oya. Look at you, playing the righteous hunter who gets to tell others what to do and what to say. You weren't there! You do not know of the sacrifices we all made! I lost several brothers and sisters because of Lucifer, because of Metatron, because of the Leviathans and all of the bloody creatures that roam the Earth. I experienced pain too and at a level, you can't even comprehend. You don't get to tell me who I am because you don't know me. Now I could care less about your opinion or even your presence but Dean asked me to keep an eye on you and that's what I'm going to do. I would not let your fears make me break a promise I made to him. » he pointed out, ignoring her question about God. He didn't want to think about their latest adventures, the Darkness and the near-end of the world. He didn't want to talk about how traumatic the whole event was.

« I don't care about you either ! You're a self-entitled asshole who goes around crying because you couldn't handle the power of God. Of course, you couldn't! look who's not going to help his friend while he can do something about it! » She spat at him, furious that he actually had a point in this heated argument. She clearly saw she hurt him

« I might be, but you're trying to boss people around like you own them. You are a suffocating self-absorbed bitch Oya. This is who you are. You're the one who broke your relationship with Dean, not me! I am not going to run around and fix your mess! You should work on it alone! » He spat back and it burned her hard. He didn't need to add anything to this burn because it was true. She invaded the Winchesters life and was trying to make it cozy for her. It might not have been true but she perceived herself this very way as he spoke, her anxiety only increasing by the seconds. Her fists clenched and unclenched at a steady pace despite them becoming stiff like wooden sticks. Her breathing became more labored and her eyes were filled with unshed tears.

« You are even worse than I thought you'd be. You're the one talking about me bossing around people and suffocating them when you're not even able to fucking speak your damn mind! I do, I make mistakes, I try to fix them and show it, but you're emotionally frigid! That's what you are and that's why you'll always be a pathetic and lonely loser !! shunned from your people forever » At this point, she wasn't even thinking anymore, she wanted to hurt him. She wanted him to feel her pain and coupled with her incoming panic attack, she was worse than usual, slamming the angel with all of her might. She wasn't saying the truth, or maybe a tiny bit of it, but Castiel wasn't lying though and maybe that was what hurt her the most.

« Ah! This is old news Oya, maybe you'll need something fresh and I'll deliver. Newsflash, you ruined your relationship with Dean when you ran away. Yes, you betrayed him and how is that? You didn't think about him when you took off. You are the reason for your own mess and there is no turning back. He's never going to trust you again, he's never going to open up to you again, he's never going to give you his heart! Do you think I hadn't noticed? You trying to pretend you're not falling for Dean? I stop you right here, don't. He won't give you. He never did before and never will. Give up that silly dream of yours and return to reality. You're suffocating him, that's what you're doing. You're not trusting him, you're entrapping him in a relationship he never wanted and never would. So I might be constipated emotionally, at least I do have a family. Sam and Dean are my family but you don't get to call them yours yet. »

It snapped inside of her. Oya was genuinely terrified about losing Dean and what he might represent to her. He was a chance at a new life with people she cared about. A family she could share her life with. Sam her and Dean would go hunting, they would drink beer. They would save the world and she would be with Dean.. as in.. she would have sex with him. She would make love to him. Flashes of his warm lips against her neck, of his forehead against her, of his hand into her hair or his body sleeping next to her in a spooning position. She coughed and shook her head. Castiel sucker punched her and she did have that panic attack. His words were a bitchslap to her and she realized that he was right. She wanted to say something but the words died at the back of her throat. Instead, she stood up and started to walk towards the dresser so she could pack. She wouldn't leave yet, maybe when she would recover, if she ever did. He was right, she shouldn't be around, she shouldn't...

« What are you doing? » He asked before she looked up to his face barely containing herself.

« Packing.. preparing my stuff. I'll be gone as soon as I have healed. » Her voice was broken, her heart was I shambles. Why was it hurting so bad? Oya didn't know. Castiel was defending himself and maybe was he driven by the need to snap back at her but he still did say the truth. She was a foreigner. She kept spending her time screaming at Dean or worrying over him. She broke his trust and now was convinced she would never get it back. He noticed she was shaking and decided to walk towards her and stop her from packing.

« I stepped out of line. » She looked at her back and sat on her heels. Her stomach was hurting but the wound didn't open itself which was a good sign.

« I did. And you were right.. all the way. » She grabbed a pair of boots and stuffed it in the bag. « I don't get to call them a family when the first thing I do is break the trust between Dean and me. I don't get to call them a family when my confused heart wants... we don't care about it. »

« He'll come around.  He always does for people he cares about. »

« He shouldn't.... You were right about something earlier. I am scared. I am scared about him dying Castiel. Everyone around me dies... my brother was possessed by a demon because we argued and he wanted to prove me wrong. He killed our mother. She died thinking her son wanted to kill her when in fact he died when the demon possessed him. She died because of me! Our father got cancer. He never could forgive himself for not having seen Kalusha was possessed.. for not saving mom.. for letting me down. I.. I... he died because of me. » She was sobbing uncontrollably. « My.. fiance. I thought I had earned myself some happiness you know? Someone who cared about me, who was okay with my job being this risky because he was a hunter too. Went on a hunt without me and came back possessed. I … /I/ had to endure him insulting me, saying hateful shit to my face.. /I/ had to kill him with my bare hands. I did it Castiel...So..Dean, maybe it's best if he never wants to see me again because I deserve it. » She started to bawl her eyes out « But please. please.. make sure he is okay. I don't care if he hates me. I don't care if I don't belong here.I just want him to be okay. » Castiel looked at her and didn't know how to comfort her. He put his hand on her shoulder.

« He's not going to die. I am very sure about it. You don't have to pack right now.  Get some sleep Oya. »

She nodded silently and cleaned her face with the back of her hand. Maybe it was a mistake to spend some time with Dean. She wanted Sam and him to be happy and live a little more like they deserved to. She wanted them to know peace, see the job from a different angle.. but they were too different. Her stomach was upset, she wanted to throw up but Castiel would have sworn he heard her heartbreak when he uttered those words he couldn' take back.

« I'm sorry Castiel. I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at angels in general. I was mean, horrible really... I'd understand if you don't want to see my face. » But before he could answer anything, she passed out from the pain she ignored for too long.

(TBC)

SPN: Sparkles

A/N: Just saying what went through her mind during that long week since she got injured. The conversation had a big impact on her and she wonders if she could fix what she broke, especially given her loud and brash personality. All usual disclaimers

xxx

One week later....

"Miss Olusegun? Miss Olusegun? you shouldn't be walking around just yet, you could tear off the stitches on your belly."

"I don't care." She didn't really. Her belly might be bleeding again for all she cared, her mind was focused on Dean and his terrible tendency of running towards danger.

"Well, we are here and we want you to fully recover! so you don't walk. not yet. you can sit on your bed but you can't walk."

".......Gee! I'll be alright! it's not my first rodeo!" She patted the nurse's arm and slapped a big fake smile on her lips to calm the man who helped her back into the bed. "I just wanted to stretch my legs."

"No. you've been pacing around like someone who's worried or upset. Yet, nobody visited you since you arrived."

It wasn't really true. Dean visited her. Yes, he sneaked around to find her room but he did visit her. She didn't expect him to visit, especially since he refused to return her text and answer her calls so why would he show up in another town? Oya wasn't able to wrap her head around his behavior. at least, at the beginning, but it took a conversation with him to finally understand that she wasn't very smart when she decided to follow that lead without Dean. She left him behind, even though her intentions were on the complete opposite side, she left him behind and it hurt. Their conversation wasn't the easiest she ever had with anyone because it forced the African hunter to actually open up to him and his feelings. She screwed up. It became crystal clear now and knowing she was the bad guy didn't sit well with the hunter.

At the beginning, when he kept dropping hints that her mistake was to leave a case they were working together to follow a lead /without/ him, she dismissed it for she was used to working either alone or with people who respected her efficiency but didn't like her approach to the hunter's life. Cultural differences if you'd like. But he repeated it and she still dismissed it. She left him to go work on their case with someone else. It was a major betrayal and it didn't hit her until he expressed it clearly. Once she understood, Oya felt filled with shame and guilt. Of course, he wouldn't want to talk to her, of course, he wouldn't trust her anymore.

"I can't stand being bed-ridden. I need to move.." Which wasn't a lie but wasn't exactly the reason of her impatience and nervous state of mind.

Oya wanted to fix her mistake and her relationship with Dean. She knew he needed time, but she also knew he was stubborn and straight up complicated. He opened up and she had to basically put a knife under his throat to get him to explain why he was acting the way he did. It revealed a lot about their relationship. She wasn't listening enough. Since Dean was more of a subtle case of worries, the kind who would hold back his feelings and hide from them, she needed to pay more attention to details. She needed to get a lot out of her usual ways and make the steps for the two of them. Was she ready to do it?

Dean was a friend. One of her best with Sam ever since she left her dear Cameroon where the hunter culture was much more different than in the west. She came here, hurt and obsessed with finding the demon who turned her brother into a monster and had him kill their mother and caused so much pain to their father. She came here feeling alone and scared to get close to anyone else since her fiancé was possessed by a demon and she had to kill him. It was too much, too painful, too complicated... too messy. She never thought she would be able to find a semblance of balance in her life. She never thought she could allow herself to settle somewhere, see familiar faces, spend time with people she didn't know before and bond with them. Alright, she didn't choose the Winchesters nor did they choose this loud mouth stubborn badass lady as their friend, but life brought them together. It had to be for a reason right?

"You keep on looking at your phone, are you waiting for someone to contact you?" The nurse tried to be nice and he did understand her level of stress but to him, she was just a lonely woman who waited for people who wouldn't be there. She looked like it anyway.

"I.. yes. I just have to make sure someone I care about is alive and well."

He had to be safe and sound. She did get a message stating that he located the witch they were chasing down and then nothing. He went to finish the mission and somehow, it was an evidence of him trying to meet her halfway there. He didn't shut the door completely on her, which was a relief. There was a chance she could make it better. She promised anyway that she would do her best to fix her mistake and do right by him. It wasn't just her words, she made a vow. She swore it on everything she held dear because she couldn't afford to lose her friends. Sure, Sam would always be hers and he did contact her to make sure she was okay, but Sam always puts himself in the middle because he liked both of them. Dean, however... As the nurse grabbed her phone and plugged in the battery charger so she could keep her phone charged, she clenched and unclenched her fists and closed her eyes.

"I'm sure that person would be alright. They would contact you soon enough. You have to rest Miss Olusegun. Tomorrow you're released so you better make sure you sleep well tonight."

"Thank you for your kindness. I'll try to rest." She would try indeed because Dean made her promise to and she didn't want to make him upset because he really could kick her ass if he ever learned she didn't take care of herself.

She glanced past the window and into the inner garden below. Kids were strolling with their nurses. The nurse left once he was sure she was doing alright. It never occurred to Oya what would happen if she actually lost her friendship to the brothers but since the "incident" between her and Dean, she started to realize that she really didn't want to imagine a future without them in it. She shared her concerns with Sam who told her to give Dean some time to come around. She would give him time and space but she would work hard to earn his trust again. She didn't know if it was the right way to do it but she would.

Sam came at the end of the week and took the hunter with him back to their bunker. She still needed to be careful because she wound needed to close itself naturally and the rest of her injuries to heal too. He would keep her at home and hide her gears so she wouldn't be tempted to go on solo missions or follow him. He warned her the minute she entered the car.

"You know you're not going to hunt until you've completely healed right?"

"I can't, my bike is still in that other town."

"I took care of it, it's home now." He told her with a grin. She looked at him and smiled.

"You're a gift! Thanks, Sam. I don't know how I would do without my baby...." She sighed and leaned her head against the window. "How's Dean?"

"Haven't heard of him in a couple of days. He found the witch though." As he turned the engine on, he watched her shrug and put her hand on her belly. "He's gonna be alright! he always comes back."

"He better..... " She wanted to give him a hug and kiss all over his face but this was something she would never do in real life because she wasn't used to be this open anymore and he didn't seem to be very receptive to it anyway.

Silence fell back in the car as Sam drove them back home but he didn't miss her worrying over her phone and the lack of texts. He took a deep breath and searched for words he could tell her to make her feel better but didn't find them so he kept on driving.

"I care about you guys. I'm clumsy as fuck but I care about you..." It was a statement given how solemn she sounded. Sam looked at her and furrowed her brows, why did she say it out of the blue like that?

"Yeah.. we know."

"Not enough. You don't know it enough." She turned on her other side and glanced at him.

"Is it because of Dean? He'll come around Oya. He'll forgive you."

"I am not sure he would. I screwed up pretty bad Sam. Made him believe the shit that doesn't exist.."

"He'll come around." He tried to soothe her worries but he knew it didn't work well, at least not now. She was grateful that he tried to make her feel better, but it wasn't her guilt she was concerned about.

"You're family okay?.." She sounded sleepy and he knew her meds would kick her right back into a slumber so he simply nodded and put his hand on her thigh.

"Rest now Oya. It's a long trip home."

And he took her home. The whole package.

Pride and Asma : Resolve

A//N: All usual disclaimers:

xxx xxx

In a land of Gods and Monsters... She was an Angel.

Asma was very aware of the responsibility she had towards the World. Now that Hope made itself known, she had to release it to the world, no matter what was at stake. In stories like these, usually it was a life for another life and Elpis' was more valuable than hers.

If at the beginning it sounded easy because Fate still had a hold onto the mortal, it didn't sound this way anymore. She wanted to live. She wanted to experience more than the monotone life she used to live. She wanted to dare and hope, and fall and rise again. She wanted to love and she did. She loved like she never did before.

It was forbidden but she hoped, she sincerely hoped that Pride would "see her". She wanted him to see more than just a meatsuit, more than just a burden he had to deal with until Elpis would be free. She wanted him to feel her love. She wanted to give, regardless of what she received.

Well, did she? did she give him herself completely? No. Asma was still afraid of opening up to him. She was cautious because she realized that the pain she already felt because he was out of reach, would only increase if she gave her all. but it was there, lingering in the shadows. The need to let him in her heart and mind. The need to share more than just their bodies, the need to get him to open up to her too and trust her enough so he could tell her what was going on in his life.

She wanted more of Pride than just kisses. she wanted more than just him watching her and making sure she was safe. She wanted to build something with him. to let him see her in moments of panic, of fear, of worries or anger. Since their last argument about how unfair her situation was, Asma kept everything to herself and dedicated the few moments they had together to make it go smoothly and to please him but this /wasn't/ building a relationship. this /wasn't/ were real. this /wasn't/ what she wanted.

She wanted more. She dreaded it but she wanted it. She knew that the game was rigged and she wasn't his endgame. She knew that Elpis was there and mattered more than anything else to the sin and the world. Who was she if not a simple mortal? who was she if not a hostage of a situation she didn't ask for? But did it matter? Hope was driving her now and she hoped for Pride to see her too. She hoped for him to notice her and walk halfway towards her too.

In the land of gods and monsters, she was an Angel.

Love was the sun Icarus tried to reach. Pride was the sun and she was Icarus. She knew that her wings made of wax would melt away if she grew closer to him but she still wanted to. So she decided to give it a try and shade away every layer of protection so she could be true to him. He might not notice, he might not want it, but she would do it nonetheless.

Ah, foolish heart!

Pride x Elpis : Haunted

A/N: Definitely comes from our latest conversation! You were right, he's in a very tight a complicated spot. I think this issue is at the back of his head but doesn't come forward too often. I also addressed the fact he is different from Elpis memories and that might make him « nervous » about seeing her again. I chose to go with a narration that we can't trust regarding his feelings because I assume (and that's my headcanon XD I can be totally wrong) that he's trying to think rationally and give himself reasons to feel a certain way about seeing Elpis again.

xxx

What would Elpis say if she were able to set herself free from Asma? What would she say if she realized that the sin cared for the human more than he even wanted to? She hadn't changed over millennia. Her memories of him were the only version of Pride she knew and the only thing she could hold onto. Her family betrayed her and cursed the deity into a never-ending reincarnation cycle. Everyone forgot about her existence, a world without Hope transformed humans into apathetic creatures who stopped dreaming and worshipped Fate as their one and only god. Gods forgot about her, even the primeval gods who started a war among themselves to punish Ishtar for condemning his sister into an eternity of torment. They fought for a reason they didn't remember, the seven sins forgot as well, which was for the best given how those who were aware of Pride's relationship with Elpis wanted to use her as leverage against Pride. But she breached her seal. They remembered now. He remembered her.

How could he forget after all this time? How could he catch up millennia of lives without her? Too much happened since she was gone and because of the curse, he never « met » her. She never influenced his life. He was forged in the depths of Tartarus, perfected as the ultimate weapon and used as such to slay entire pantheons. Pride wasn't kind. He wasn't loving. He was evil. In his core and his heart, Pride was evil. He had to be any way to slay his father and take his place as ruler of the Underworld. He had to be in order to fight his siblings who tried to overthrow him any chance they got. He had to be, in order to face the enemies of the seven sins and keep his people in check and obedient. He had to be...

But knowing that he could have become more and used to be more overwhelmed him with anger. Losing Elpis was unfair to him, cruel even. He never genuinely smiled, never even compromised with anyone around him and yet he had memories of him smiling when he was with her. He had memories of him building something greater with her. He had memories of him feeling grander than he ever had been. It felt alien to the Sin since he never got to experience it -memories might have been real, but this was a life he never lived, or at least it felt like it.-. It felt.....painful as well. Pride knew that he would never be the same man as he used to be with Elpis. This Pride was dead and gone and as far as he was concerned, this Pride never existed. He could have and it felt as if he was at a better place than Pride actually was in, but this was a life he could never get back.

It felt painful because they robbed him of a future he could have had. The primeval gods deprived Pride of « happiness » as he thought it was. Someone genuinely cared about him, someone trusted him with their life. Someone genuinely loved him and saw more than a weapon or death itself when they looked at him. He could still feel the warm gaze she always set on him, the smiles, the laughter and the softness of her body pressed against his. He remembered her heart racing inside of her ribcage whenever he said her name or stroked her cheek. Pride wasn't like that anymore, the mere thought of touching someone made him shrug and wrinkle his nostrils in disgust. The mere thought of smiling genuinely to another being and being concerned about them was unsettling to him. Love, of all feelings, was seen as a waste of time and energy. But more importantly, he didn't understand it anymore. He didn't feel it anymore. It was gone. Or he kept telling himself so.

So why did he want her back? Was it out of spite? Was it because he wanted to avenge himself from a wrong that was done to him? Was it because he wanted to save her from a destiny worse than death that was inflicted upon her because of « him »? She made a promise she kept. She fought for them for millennia and he found her. Maybe he simply wanted to keep his word. Or maybe it was even more selfish than that. Maybe he wanted to feel the same way he did millennia ago. He wanted to have someone who cared about him and was loyal to him. He wanted someone who loved him the way Elpis did. He did it for himself. Did he know how to set her free? Not yet, but if he did, would he? Pride never answered the question. He never thought about it. Why did he truly want Elpis out? What would he do once she would be free? He wasn't the same anymore but she remembered a version of him that was no more. Shame ? Was it a shame that overwhelmed him or guilt? How could he stand before the goddess who sacrificed so much for them and tell her straight in the eye that he didn't feel the same way anymore and she shouldn't expect him to? He would lie his ass off if given the chance to see her again. He would lie but she would tell. She always knew how to read into him and she would know.

Maybe the problem wasn't that he didn't know what to say to her or how to react. He might be able to lie but he couldn't fake feelings so what would be the point in lying to her? Pride would be honest with her. He would set her free because he gave her his word to find her but he was unable to return her feelings the way he used to because it was robbed from him. He never had a chance to mourn for her or try his best to find her again. He never had the change to live and nurture the relationship they had, the feelings he discovered. It was all gone and never to happen again. At least that was his current mindset, his belief. In this reality where he never met her. Telling her wasn't the issue. Breaking her heart was. The more Pride thought about it, the more he realized he didn't want to make her suffer. It didn't matter that he didn't feel the same way about Elpis, he didn't want her to suffer.

This included his relationship with Asma. She fell asleep on his lap and he decided not to bother the human and remain on his leather chair for the night. He had wrapped his arms around her frame and from time to time planted a kiss on top of her head from time to time. She had a very rough night, filled with nightmares of an unknown future and a potential death. He wouldn't have cared less about her if she wasn't the vessel of Elpis. He wouldn't have acknowledged her existence if he didn't need her. He needed her alive for sure and at the beginning, she simply was a tool for him but he came to know her. It didn't help that she looked exactly like Elpis and acted almost the same. She wasn't a clone per say, but it was the only way he had to be close to Elpis again. Learn as much as possible to maybe be able to return the goddess feelings. Oh, wait... That was an excuse. It was an excuse for the Sin so he wouldn't acknowledge he was actually truly caring about Asma. Yes, Asma! If at the beginning, when they went outside and someone else was trying to flirt with Asma, he saw Elpis and refused to let anyone get any closer to « HIS » beloved. It was a knee-jerk reaction from the sin, an urge to protect what was his and the memories attached to Elpis. Now, it became complicated because it wasn't Elpis he saw whenever someone came too close to Asma. It was Asma herself.

He'd kissed several goddesses and deities over the millennia, from Aphrodite to Lust they all had a taste of him. He'd fucked them too and took all the pleasure he could from these romps. But he didn't care for any of them, not even Lust. He didn't have the lingering urge to kiss them and protect them. He didn't have the need of their company or question whether or not they felt good or safe or if they trusted him still. He never felt shivers go down his spine whenever he looked at them or the urge to smile at them the way he did whenever he looked at Asma and she smiled at him.  She made him feel all of this and it was confusing for the sin who thought it was a huge mistake. All of this. Her very existence. It was confusing that she looked like Elpis and was human. It was confusing for him to want to hold her hand when they walked outside or feel smug about her calling him her « boyfriend » even if it was playing pretend.

It was confusing for him to feel jealous over someone else who could potentially take her away from him. It was even more confusing for Pride to try not to make her upset or distressed because of him or even want to lift her mood up so she would still be smiling. He CARED! Yes, he did! Yes, he knew. Even now as she was sleeping on his lap, he was taking care of her. It wasn't because he had to, it was because he wanted to. It felt very similar to his memories with Elpis except it was another woman. Another soul and that didn't look great from his perspective. Asma stormed into his heart and that was something he didn't know how to deal with because now he refused that she died. He refused to sacrifice her life and he refused to hurt her as well. But he wouldn't take the chance to lose Elpis twice. He knew how she would react if she knew about Asma.He was in a tight spot and honestly, one wouldn't blame him for wanting peace. He was too busy fighting his siblings and hers to bother himself with questions he didn't want to answer right now. All he knew for the moment and all that mattered was that he would protect Asma and set Elpis free. He was « fine » with caring about Asma as long as it didn't prevent him from reaching his goal.

She opened her eyes, briefly because she felt him shift and gently cupped his cheek so he could look into her eyes. A soft smile crept on the human lips as she whispered.

« Hey... »

« Hey. » He replied in kind, while she pulled his face towards hers for a brief kiss on his lips. « Ho do you feel? »

« Rested at last. Thank you for watching me. » Her voice sounded tired since she'd just barely escaped from Morpheus embrace. He enjoyed the affection and the quietness of the living room. His trail of thoughts took him through the next day without him even noticing it but it didn't matter because he didn't need to sleep. All that mattered was the sound of her soothing voice, the warmth of her hand and the smile on her lips.

It was all that mattered indeed.

(TBC)

Pride and Asma : The photographer

A/N: Another sweet moment between the two of them! Ah ! I love them! I wanted to give them a bit of levity but damn drama waiting in the corner XD well, not a lot of it. She's just super confused. He's confused too. everyone is confused XD BUT this is still a nice moment between the two of them :p I promise I'll have less complicated moments and more genuine stress-free moments! but this is how this one turned out! blame those babies! 

xxx

Pride decided to stay a little longer with Asma. The situation in the Underworld seemed to have improved in his favor. Indeed, since his siblings tried to kill him, Lust and Pride started to retaliate in kind and slowly but surely he regained some measure of control. He scared his minions by staging executions of known traitors. He became more creative in his punishments of the souls who were sent to the Underworld but more importantly he made sure to find the rats who snitched to his brothers and helped ambush him. Everyone knew about Elpis existence once again, due to the primeval goddess scratching the seal but due to the curse, nobody had any idea of where she could be. Lust, however, started to connect the dots about Pride's frequent trips to Earth and assumed that the goddess might be on Earth but hidden. It gave Elpis and her vessel Asma a little bit of rest until they found a way to set the goddess free.

It had been months now since Asma met Pride and her feelings for him quickly evolved over time. She used to see him as a monster. A cold and violent creature that would never hesitate to kill her once she would no longer serve him. The human thought she owed her life only to the fact that he didn't know how to achieve his goal yet and tolerated her presence next to his. After all, he kept telling her how much he loathed humanity and didn't see the point in anything she wanted to do. Christmas, Valentine's day, Easter and all the other holidays didn't mean anything to him. They still didn't but he started to go out of his way to allow her to celebrate whatever she wanted to and however, she pleased. He kept her happy. That was new.

Of course, she grew closer to him. She started to feel less and less scared of the Sin and more and more attracted. To her, it was love. Truth be told, it could have been anything at this point. Her judgment might have been biased and clouded due to her living on her own with him as a sole company. It might have actually been true and genuine since she already knew about him and his true nature. It was confused and confusing, even for him and his feeling. Pride cared for the human a little more genuine than at the beginning. To which extent did he care? That was nebulous and complicated to answer but he did care about her, as a person rather than just a vessel. Maybe that explained why he decided to surprise her on that quiet afternoon. She had been talking almost non-stop for a few weeks about an artistic event taking place in the town they chose to settle in. There would be paintings exhibited, photographers taking pictures of pretty random visitors and great food.

« Fine. You're going but I am going with you. » It wasn't negotiable and Asma was aware of that. The only way for her not to be noticed by any of the gods who were after her was to be near Pride whose aura would be impossible to trace. She also realized that it would be one of the very few days they allowed themselves to be outside and just exist, which excited the mortal even more. The sin realized that he liked to see her face lit up at the new. Pride grinned, an automatic response to her smile and gently stroked her cheek as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

« Thank you! Thank you so much !!! I'm going to take my own camera so I can make beautiful memories of us outside! »

She smiled at him and quickly removed her hands from him. He chuckled and let her go change her clothes. Pride's smile lingered a little bit as he reflecting about making her a little happier through her time with him. After all, it didn't cost him that much to bring a smile up to the human. It wasn't just when they were about to have sex, which he greatly enjoyed. Asma revealed herself to be enthusiastic, demanding, eager to please and to be pleased that he couldn't help but desire her. It went beyond the carnal needs. They've been arguing less and less in the last few weeks mostly because he wasn't home often and when he was, they had sex most of the time. Pride didn't miss how relaxed the atmosphere was at home when they weren't fucking. She was more creative, more willing to share and talk about what she liked to do or the things she wished to experience one day and always, her face lit up and she kept talking. It warmed his heart, the way it did when Elpis was talking about mankind and its wonders or was amazed at the beauty of Nature surrounding them. Her face always lit up and her voice was so soothing that it never missed bringing a smile to his lips.

Asma wasn't Elpis though. He noticed as she came back from the stairs dressed in a skin-tight silver dress and flat boots. She had braided her hair and wore sunglasses and a black calves-length black coat. She had her camera secured against her chest and a big grin on her lips. It took him a second to bask in her beauty before Pride motioned for her to come closer so they could teleport at the location. She wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned her head against his shoulder as he snapped his fingers and took them out of the safe house. Pride was impeccably dressed as usual. A slick grey suit with a tie and a nice black coat that reached his knees to fit in since they still were in winter and people were covered. It wasn't snowing and it wasn't freezing cold but the air was fresh and he didn't want Asma to catch a cold or worse. There were a lot of people around which didn't make Pride very comfortable. Humans were icky and disgusting and being forced to walk among them was something that crawled under the sin's skin. He hated it but she didn't.

She led him forward, visiting the small exhibitions here and there and taking pictures of the attendees. There was a variation of people from age, size, skin colors and fashion style much to Asma's happiness. They would become models for future drawings. She had an easy contact with others, of course, made easier because the event was art-related so she felt in her comfort zone. While looking for models to photograph, she reached out a tent where a very famous American photographer, Jared Lebowski was taking pictures of people he picked at random. It was a great honor to be chosen to pose for the renowned artist so of course when he stopped her, she gasped and instinctively held onto Pride's hand. He noticed she didn't feel safe for a brief minute and he was about to destroy the man for making her feel that way until she screamed her appreciation and surprise. The Sin relaxed and smiled to himself as her first reaction was to seek for him. He kept his fingers entwined with hers as she gushed over the big beautiful Jared Lebowski. He was a tall man, quite toned with broad shoulders and a broad torso and toned legs. He was blonde and blue-eyed with his hair cut short. Pride didn't like him. He reeked of a strong ego and Pride disliked it.

« Well well well, what do we have here? » He said to Asma as he grabbed her hand for a handshake and pulled it against his mouth so he could fancy-kiss it.

« Mr. Lebowksi ?? I love your work! You have a real knack for making your work so unique and so real. Whenever I look at a picture of your landscapes, it's as if I was already there! » She genuinely complimented him and released Pride's hand so she could put her free hand other his.

« Well, I'm the one honored to meet a beauty like you. »

« A beauty like....me? » There she was, falling for this guy's charm right under Pride's nose. He didn't like it. He didn't like the guy touching Asma as if she already was his.

Pride was jealous.It was in his nature to be possessive but he never actually had any reason to be possessive over Asma. She was human, she was a vessel and his true beloved was trapped within her. Why on Earth would he care about a meatsuit? Well, unlucky for him he realized he did care. It wasn't « Elpis » he saw when that Jared came forward. It was Asma. Naive and sweet and funny woman who was swept away by this punk-ass bitch of a photographer. Of course, he said words she didn't hear often. Of course, she would fall for this. Pride growled lowly and wrapped his arm around her waist to clearly inform the photographer that he would not let him parade away with HIS Asma.

« Uh..yes a beauty like you. Oh, You're the boyfriend? I haven't even noticed you. She's magnificent and I sincerely want to take a few pictures of you both. » He tried to defuse the bomb and suggested the should pose together.

« I think this is a beautiful idea! I would love to take a couple of pictures with my.... »

She trailed off and looked at Pride. The ridiculous idea of him being her boyfriend made her blush so hard that her golden highlights in her eyes seemed to flash briefly. Pride's jaw was tight and hard as he didn't really like the way the man was looking at Asma but he did enjoy that he acknowledged the fact she was his girlfriend. It had a nice ring to it. The photographer imagined that the boyfriend would get tired after two or three shots and would want to move on or at least let her pose as much as she wanted. It worked before, why wouldn't it work now? Jared wasn't a bad guy per say. He wasn't vicious but Asma's beauty struck him.

She never realized how beautiful she actually was, never bothered herself with it before because she was quite withdrawn. Now with Pride in her life and influencing Asma, going out became a necessity, being more open, more talkative and it resulted in her charm working its way without her realizing it. Jared wanted her. As he directed the two of them to take a pose, his mind wandered off. He wanted to take her away on a date and this might simply have been the influence of Pride who as literally a few feet away from the man. Funny how things worked when a sin influenced people around him. Asma didn't notice, she was oblivious to everything, especially the growing attraction of the famous photographer towards her.

« Hold onto her as if she was going to escape and you didn't want to let her go. » Directed Jared, not catching the irony of his words. Pride, who had removed his coat and his vest, was holding Asma's wide hips hard enough for her to notice he meant it. He didn't want to let go of her. She looked up at his face and noticed how somber it was.

« What's wrong with you? » She asked in a worried voice. His aura had changed, his body became colder so she knew he was angry.

« I don't like the way he's looking at you. »

« He's not looking at me in any way suspicious Pride! He's a famous photographer! An icon even! He noticed me! Do you know how many people I would have killed to have him look my way? Now he's taking pictures of us.. of me! I couldn't have dreamed better! » She said with a wide grin.

« I want to kill him. » Pride whispered to her, noticing just how much lust and weird attraction came off of the guy. He was romantically interested in Asma and if the photographer's carnal desire already was too much for Pride, the desire to basically date Asma and wife her drove him crazy. Was it because he could very much lose her to someone else ? no. NO WAY! He never could! She told him he was her world so of course, he was. But anyone else could snatch her away and a world without her became harder to think of. What was wrong with him?

« You won't kill him! He's just taking a couple of pictures of us! Come on, play my boyfriend! »

She said in an encouraging tone while Pride pressed himself closer to her frame. She felt good against him, warm and comforting, which distracted the sin enough from the man. She wanted to play girlfriend/boyfriend? He would act as such. He grabbed her cheek and pulled her face up so he could kiss her and force Jared to take pictures of the two sharing a kiss. It made the photographer uncomfortable The kiss was slow, tender and Asma found herself forgetting about the world around her as she kissed the sin. She was so small compared to him, to soft and felt so good. Her eyes were closed as she relished in his taste and when she opened them again, she found herself blushing a little more. Why did he kiss her like he cared? Her eyes grew wide but she was distracted again by Jared who snapped some more pictures and encouraged her to come forward, distancing herself from the sin.

« Alright! I think we have enough pictures of you two together. Now I need a picture with the Miss only. » He said as he held her arm.

« No. » Pride said as he grabbed the man's hand and pushed it away from her. « I think we're done here. »

« I think I can do as I damn please! I photograph the most beautiful landscapes and the most beautiful women I see. She is rare and I want her, so get off of me and let me take her portraits! »

« I said. No. » Pride insisted as he grabbed Jared's arm and squeezed harder, nearly breaking the bone.

« I think it's alright! We'll be going now. » Asma said quickly as she noticed Pride might become violent to the human if she wasn't careful. « Thank you for your time and thank you so much for noticing me Mr. Lebowski. »

« You're welcome, Miss. » The photographer replied, shocked about what just happened. As she put her coat back and Pride got dressed back she asked.

« Is there a way I could get the pictures? » He nodded and took her e-mail address and sent her the pictures. « Thank you again! We're on our way! »

As soon as they left the tent, Asma held Pride's hand and walked faster towards an empty spot in between tents.

« What the hell was that? » She angrily yelled at him. « What did you think you were doing? »

« I was the jealous boyfriend. You asked me to play the boyfriend am I right? Well, you got what you asked for! » She was dumbfounded and looked at him with eyes wide open.

« Come again? » He chuckled and then put his hands on her shoulders. He let his hands feel the weight of her heavy pink locks on them and leaned his forehead against hers. « Pride! I'm angry at you. Don't come all seductive at me! »

« I'm not doing anything. » He grinned. It was a tactic to dodge her questions and subdue her anger but Asma was still angry and was persistent.

« I am very serious! I don't follow you. You're with me because Elpis is trapped inside of me, I get it. I really get it! I remember when you told me you couldn't say you loved me back because of her. I remember !! » She swallowed hard. « I am trapped between the wall and the stone and I don't want to be anymore. Someone, a good guy, noticed me! I was thinking that maybe once we find a way to set your beloved free, then I could find a way to go on with my life and rebuild myself. Because of you.. you're huge! You're super huge and super invasive like a virus! I'm infected with you! I'm head over heels about you okay ?! But it's painful too... because it's impossible. And you acted like a jealous boyfriend while we're not even dating and we never will! Do you want me unhappy? Do you want me unhappy because you did it! Congratulations ! » She tried to remove him from her but he held himself there, forcing her to hit his chest before she just shut her eyes and let a couple of tears roll down.

Pride looked at her intently. Not knowing what to say after such a speech. He didn't want to question himself even though it was clear in his heart and mind. He didn't want to say anything that could hurt her even more but he heard her. He saw the pain in her face, he heard it in her cracked voice. He wanted to make an effort to the day would be memorable in a good way, for her, but he had a misstep and he didn't like it. He liked being with her earlier, was flattered at the idea of being her boyfriend, maybe a little more than flattered. He was jealous that someone tried to be with her, but at the same time, he was Pride. Somehow, at the back of his head, the Sin thought that he was rediscovering with Asma some of the things he discovered when he was with Elpis and forgot about. He grabbed her cheeks and stroked them with his larger hands.

« I don't want you un-happy Asma. This is not true. I took you there because I thought it would make you happy. I walked the Earth with you and among humans because I thought it would make you happy. I don't care about those cockroaches, but I care about you. You might have the feeling I am playing with your heart but I am not. I.. went out of line with this guy because I didn't like the way he looked at you. I didn't like to see the lust in his eyes, I didn't want him to hurt you. I didn't want him to take you away from me. That's the truth. » He admitted before he leaned his forehead against hers. « I still want you to have the time of your life and I kinda liked the idea of being your jealous boyfriend for a day. Keeping you safe from potential serial lovers.» He went OUT of his way to make a joke about a situation that wasn't funny at all. He wasn't a man who joked around but he understood she needed humor to at least smile again. They both knew he didn't answer her in the all honesty but at this moment in time, it was his truth. It was the truth. Beyond the need to have her alive and by his sides, there was the need of her company.

« So.. you're going to be a fake boyfriend for me for a whole day? » She asked, pouting still but thrilled by the suggestion. He nodded. « A jealous boyfriend who wouldn't want guys to try to snatch me from you? » -He nodded again, noticing her smile as she was starting to be more receptive to his suggestion. After all, they had a day together, why waste it being sad while you could be sad and mope around at home for weeks? She wrinkled her nose and cleaned her cheeks with the back of her hand.

« Very jealous boyfriend, if I can get to punish someone for just glancing at you. »

« Does that mean you're going to have a --- »

She was caught off guard as Pride pressed his lips against hers in a spontaneous kiss. He had been wanting to kiss her again ever since they shared that kiss at the photographer tent and he knew that a kiss would work better than words he couldn't quite say. It was a soft kiss, one that took its sweet time so they could taste one another. Asma dropped her arms on each side of her frame while Pride cupped both of her cheeks and kissed her plump lips. Asma softly moaned into the kiss and opened her eyes to see he had closed his, which was rare and indicated to the young woman that he was indeed trying to enjoy the kiss. She put her hands on his and gently pulled away from him.

« What was that for? » She asked with a short breath, her head spinning around because of the kiss.

« I'm the jealous boyfriend remember? » Was his way not to say 'because I really wanted to kiss you again.'. Asma shrugged her shoulders and got along with this explanation. « Come on, let's keep going. There are plenty of artists you haven't seen and you should keep on taking pictures of random strangers, right? »

She nodded and wrapped her coat around her frame and took her camera back. Asma was still shaken up by the kiss she'd just shared with Pride but glanced at him when she felt his hand holding hers nonchalantly. He committed to the rôle, she couldn't have said less than that. She held his hand and the two resumed their visit to the festival. Asma's heart was conflicted about it but he gave her something she strongly believed she would never have and for this taste of paradise, she was grateful. Walking around hand in hand with Pride, making him taste new food, chasing around models for her and buying a couple of books and art supplies truly made her happy. Seeing her with a big grin on her face every time she met an idol of hers made him smile in return and although he made it sound like it was annoying, playing pretend was actually fun. As fun as it could get. The best moments were when he did offer her a couple of things she had always wanted to have and she instinctively kissed him. Pride enjoyed her proximity, her tenderness and her genuine affection towards him. He kept an eye open for a potential threat but this day was uncanny for both of them since none of their enemies were on their tails. After a couple of hours walking around, Asma got tired and hungry.

« Can we go home? » She asked a very relieved Pride who teleported them back home. He put all her stuff on the chair and went to fetch himself some bourbon to forget about the human scum he was forced to mingle with when she stopped him mid-walk with a surprise hug from behind. He didn't move and looked down at his waist where her arms were wrapped around and he smiled briefly.

« I'm not going anywhere Asma, just at the bar to drink something. »

« I know... I just.. I wanted to thank you for the day. »

« There's no need to. You needed to go out after all. I kept you indoors for way too long. » He said with a grin before he tried to move again but she held him tighter.

« Thank you for playing pretend with me today too. It felt... it felt nice to have this kind of interaction again. » She removed her hands and turned around to bare her back at him.

« I know the situation you live in isn't ideal. »

Pride acknowledged, knowing full well that it wasn't the 'situation' that was the problem. Her feelings for him were because they weren't shared. He was aware he was both the reason she felt safe but also the reason she was in distress and Pride didn't like this at all. He could make her forget if he wanted to. He could make it all a distant memory or a dream or anything he liked really. It was at the tip of his fingertip and just snapping them would make it work. She would never have been in love with him, she wouldn't be in pain because he couldn't return the feelings. It was just there, just a finger snap away.

« It's what it is... there's nothing we can do to change it eh? Even if we could. I guess I wouldn't want to forget about you. » She said, chewing at her bottom lip. Pride eyes glowed intensely at her words.

« You would keep on feeling the way you do about me? Despite.. »

« Yes! Despite.. the pain that comes with it. » She turned on her heels. « It's a gift to be able to feel anything.I wouldn't want me unable to. I take the good, and the bad and the ugly because this is human. We have to go through this. I lashed out at you earlier because the pain was unbearable and I don't have much choice but to stay with you until I served my purpose. I was thinking about the aftermath. About how I could rebuild myself without you.... » She clenched her fists and sighed. « And I perceived your actions as forbidding me to move on from you....I would have to. If you move on with Elpis, which is how things are supposed to be, then I shall move on too. » She felt his hands on her shoulders and closed her eyes. « I will never forget you Pride, it's impossible eh ?.. but I want to live. I need to live. I need to mo-- » He kissed her again, both to silence her for reasons he didn't know just yet but mostly to reassure her that she wasn't just a meatsuit serving a purpose.

In a world where Fate was an absolute master, Hope had the nerves to reincarnate inside of a mere mortal. In the old world, Asma would have shrugged it off, everything would just be « Fate's will » and she would have gotten along without an ounce of regret. She would have been a sheep. She would have been lifeless almost. But because Hope inhabited her, she dared think of another way to live her life and experienced her feelings at the maximum of her ability. She had dreams she wanted to fulfill, fears she experienced by Pride's sides, a curiosity she wanted to satisfy. This kiss was no exception. It soothed her instantly and she kissed him back. It wasn't an urgent kiss like they often shared when they had sex. This one was patient, soft and tender. He poured his worries into it but also the fact he cared about her more than he would ever admit. Asma turned around so she could kiss him better and put her hands on his chest while he wrapped his around her waist. When he pulled away, both smiled.

« Stop talking as if you were going to die. Not on my watch, not ever. » He began with. « And... I am not trying to prevent you from living your life. I wanted to keep you safe from this man. See how well your jealous boyfriend acted when we kept walking? Wasn't I the best boyfriend you ever had? »

« I think the day isn't over yet. You're still my boyfriend until tomorrow. » She joked, her infectious smile coming back to her face. Pride grinned at her, relieved that she was calm and more receptive to him again AND not talking about her feelings. Pride wasn't dodging reality, he was fully aware of how things were on her side, but he never stopped to truly think this through ever since he brought her along with him. His family attacked him, he still didn't know how to set Elpis free and now Asma had feelings for him and he realized he cared about her and it didn't look great from his perspective. He still had to figure out if he wanted Elpis out of her prison, out of spite or because he felt something for her so imagine if he actually grew feelings for this human? Messy. That would be messy and Pride hated messy. So he would not address any of this until he was sure of how his world was turning around. He would not encourage her to be in love with him because it would be easier for her if she wasn't. But you couldn't manipulate feelings. So he couldn't manipulate hers.

Not even his.

(TBC)