S.o.A: Unrequited Love
A/N: What the title says. Elias and Asma both belong to me. That's the kind of stories I do best.
Xxx
He took a quick shower that morning and quickly put his shirt back on. She was sitting on the bed, with the sheets messily thrown over her lap and her hair cascading onto her chest. Elias always made sure he would leave when she was sleeping so they would not the awkward morning conversations, but he was very tired from last night and slept longer than intended. She didn't look at him but rather focused on the wall to her left. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears he decided to ignore. He wouldn't see them. He wouldn't talk about them. Last night was a disaster but she made it look like it wasn't. Like she could brush off the fact he called the name of his late wife while they were having sex. That it made him stop because he couldn't go on and that instead he smoked and they talked about her business as if nothing happened. He wasn't in love with her. He told her so since the very first day they met. His heart and soul were devoted to his late family. To the wife he would never kiss again, to the child he would never hold again. He told Asma. He did.
That morning was painful to experience because Asma didn't sleep. She stayed awake all night long and blankly stared at the wall. He would never love her. She knew it. She could never have a place in his heart, not when it was inhabited with the dead love of his life and his child. She didn't want to compete for his heart because he should never forget about his loved ones. She wouldn't want it. Yet, her heart, in spite of every warning triggers that rang over and over again, decided to fall in love with him. All of this because he treated her like no one truly ever did. Mostly because he helped her cope with her brother's death, with her broken dreams, with her demons. He made her straighten the line, clear the path so she could become a decent human being again. But that was it.
He didn't love her. He would never.
Her heart was swollen and aching but she refused to let him know about it. Telling him would mean the end. Telling him would mean he would walk away from her and Asma wanted to stall a little longer, have a little more of this fake love he was giving her and be a better person before she ruined their future with three little words. And it was tearing her soul apart because, for the first time in years, she was seeing brightly again. She was seeing a future for herself and he was giving her all of that. He was giving her a way out of her destructive path. But he didn't love her. He never will. Elias put his pants on and laced his shoes. She stared at him, thinking of how nice he really was to her and how lonely she actually felt in her life.
Elias noticed she wasn't speaking and quietly sat on the bed. She shifted a bit and coyly looked at him. Her heartbeats became faster and she tried to smile but her lips were trembling way too much so instead, she just tucked some hair behind her ear shifted on the bed again. Elias sighed and reached out to her knee.
« I apologize for yesterday. » His voice came out raspy but she picked up the warmth.
« You don't need to. It happens. » She said with a soft voice before removing her knee from his touch.
« I mean it. I don't know why I said her name. I don't... »
« You don't have to do it Elias. You don't have to explain to me what I already know. I... I know. I know I promise. I know. » He looked at her and scratched the back of his head.
« I want to make it right for us. » To which she replied with a soft smile. She cupped his cheek and leaned her forehead against hers. He leaned into her touch and grunted.
« I'll be alright. I'll be alright Elias. » She ran her fingers through his hair and gently kissed the tip of his nose. « Don't worry. » She meant her words.
He didn't have to worry about her for these were just petty feelings that would be gone or at least dealt with by herself. Elias decided to believe her, for it was easier for him to cope with whatever ordeal he was making her go through. Maybe it was because he genuinely cared at that point or maybe it was because he didn't want to be the reason she was hurting. She nodded at him, once again and quietly released him.
« Are you sure? » He asked, furrowing his brows for a brief second. How could she say she was okay while she was looking this sad? How could she pretend to be okay when he could see her crushing soul? She was hurting and yet, she shut him down, like always. What should he do?
«Positive. I'm just tired, I didn't sleep all night. » She faked a yawn and slipped under her sheets, which he finally took as his cue to leave. He might have misread her, after all, she was a piece of work so Elias didn't mind anymore. His mind was cleared, his heart was light.
« See you for a coffee someday soon then? »
« I'll text you. » She replied with a fake sing-along voice. He bought it and left her house. Now alone in her bed, Asma curled into a ball. He was the best she could have. A widower with a dead child, hellbent on trying to make sense of their deaths. He was mourning and she was simply giving him some comfort, some company. maybe helping him clear the road to recovery. She was a means to his well-being, nothing more and nothing less and he never let her believe otherwise. It was all again in her head and in her heart. Why do you stay? Why don't you quit? Quit ? Yes maybe that was a solution, but if she ever did what would she have left? A city with people she didn't know and who didn't like her, an insane man who was still looking for her, nobody she could fully trust to open up to. She did it to herself and she wasn't willing to blame anyone for this, but real feelings in such a troubled time was a luxury she couldn't afford. Her heart sunk as she remembered the painful cry he gave when he said his wife's name. Her heart sunk as she remembered his face when he saw the pain in her eyes and stopped making love to her. The humiliation that he saw her in such a vulnerable moment and learned a truth she wanted to bury deep inside of her.
He didn't love her. He never will.
And yet she was falling for him.
