Pandora Box

I opened the Pandora Box, without really trying.
It just happened out of the blue, in the middle of a conversation.
Everything was fine, we were joking and laughing and then suddenly it wasn't.
All because I said those few words.

I opened the Pandora Box
but maybe it had to happen, it was the right time for them to hear it.
I keep telling myself that at some point, I just had to be honest, but it's just to find an excuse.
All because I said those few words.

What did I think would happen if I spoke?
Truth to be told, I expected way worse than what I had.
A little comment here, the birth of a concern there before it all vanished to nothingness
Good thing I was prepared.

I know my words would stay in their head.
It would fester and invade the back of their thoughts and they would question every word I would say
They would question everything I would do because they had a glimpse of the darkness in my head.
All because I said those few words.

I could have kept my mouth shut, that was my go-to behavior.
Unhealthy coping mechanism to the pressure of a life I don't want to live or "endure" as I would put it
I could have kept my mouth shut, but words wanted out, so I let them out.
And now they expect the worst from me. And now they are worried.

I opened the Pandora Box, maybe I've just trapped myself a little more
In an attempt to escape the misery that living in my head is, I tried to break free and come clean.
I might have broken it, the status quo, the peace of mind of my loved ones.
Or maybe I set myself free, cleaned the slate to start over once again.

I have no fucking clue. I am confused.

All that is left inside of my mind is that ever-growing panic that doesn't want to keep quiet.

I opened the Pandora Box

Why did I do this?