Got (regular verse): stay with me a little longer

 Got (regular verse): stay with me a little longer

 

#I remember Missandei's eyes when she asked me about the Golden Lion. I remember her fear. #

 

Bäahal opened the window of her bedroom, she was staring at the quiet landscape of King's Landing. It was quiet and if it wasn't for Drogon and Rhaegal screeches, silence would have been deafening. Today was yet another day where she wasn't able to convince her sister to give her blessings. Today was yet another day where she was not able to truly be herself because way too many people hated the Golden Lion. Jaime warned her, the whole kingdom wanted him dead. He was an oath breaker, a traitor who didn't hesitate to kill his king. He was a man who could not be trusted and a man who went as far as entertaining an incestuous relationship with his twin sister. Bäahal realized that she wouldn't be able to convince those Jaime wronged in the past, including those hurt by the Lannister. Jon might have seen her truth and claimed that all he wanted was for her to be happy, she knew that the rest of the Starks wouldn't see eye to eye with her and the ire she would draw towards her would become more and more difficult to deal with.

 

#She didn't tell me that very day, how scared she was for me. Why would she try and take Jaime away from me when she knew it was the only thought I took with me at night? #

 

Bäahal felt the fresh wind whip her face and closed her eyes as tight as she could. She had not anticipated how hurt she would be because of the situation. She still remembered the promise she made Jaime, back at Casterly Roc, that she would fight All the seven gods for him if it was what it took to be happy. Her resolve didn’t dissolve over time. She was determined to protect him at all cost, even if that meant she couldn’t speak with him a whole day. She was determined to keep her promise to Kyra and stay away from him if that meant he wouldn’t be hurt by Daenerys or Jon. She was determined to sacrifice her own happiness if that meant he wouldn’t die. She was upset, however, even more now that she couldn’t shake off the bitter taste of pain. Her last conversation with Daenerys kept playing in her head, as a cruel reminder that perhaps, she wasn’t meant to be happy and would always have to lose something to make sure her beloved was happy. She would always have to lose something.

 

It became clear for her at this instant, that this love story would end up with her losing something to ensure her beloved was safe. Her mother sacrificed her life to ensure she wouldn’t die when their masters discovered they wanted to escape. She had to let Missandei leave King’s landing to start a new and better life with her beloved. For someone who had nothing, it was the most she could give and now, now that she finally had something just for herself, something she could fight for, something she had earned, Bäahal might have to sacrifice it to ensure Jaime’s safety. The thought had her jaw shake again and her eyes started to fill themselves with fresh unshed tears. There were very few options offered to her, very few she had already discussed with Jaime. If her sister gave them her blessings, then they would be able to live a decent life and at least walk with pride together. If Daenerys didn’t, then they would have to be separated. Bäahal tried to remain positive and drew strength and hope from Tyrion’s words of wisdom. He told her to lay low for a while and give the silver queen some time to digest the news. She had to think things through, make the best decision for both her kingdom, allies, and herself.

 

Bäahal tried her best to share his optimism, after all, if he was convinced of the genuine feelings Jaime shared with the princess, then perhaps the queen would be too. But it was a big “perhaps” and being the pessimist she was, the silver princess understood that it was most likely to never happen. She had to prepare herself to a life of misery, to the endless pain of missing her beloved, to never being fulfilled again. She had done it in the past, hadn’t she? She had always given herself to others, to ensure their goals were met, to protect their lives and dreams. She gave her very life to Daenerys’ cause and would so in a heartbeat if her sister asked her to. Was it selfish for her to ask for this simple thing? For her to freely love the Golden Lion? Was it selfish for her to ask for a little bit of love? Could Dany understand? Bäahal wasn’t sure of that and this uncertainty certainly brought tears to her eyes and weighed down on her shoulders. It was an excruciating pain that refused to calm down, akin to an open wound that was rubbed with salt. She prayed for an answer. Any answer.

 

 

#Here I am, alone among the wolves. I didn’t anticipate how difficult the situation would be. I am…so exhausted. Missandei seemed to know more about love than I do myself. She knew the hardships ahead of me before I even admitted I fell in love with Jaime. I couldn’t understand why she was worried, not when her congratulations were heartfelt. She was genuinely happy for me… and genuinely scared too. How strange! #

 

 

 

The noise of the bedroom’s door had her turn around and face whoever wanted to enter. Part of her wasn’t willing to face her sister at this moment. Indeed, Daenerys didn’t want to listen to her. She was way too upset to understand the love Bäahal had for the Lannister. While the silver queen respected Jaime for what he did for them -sacrificing his life to fight for the living against the night king- she hated him for the suffering he brought onto others, especially the Stark family. Given how things went this morning, Bäahal wasn’t interested in yet another lecture from her sister. She didn’t want to be “reasoned” with or to be told she was betraying her family and allies by loving the wrong person. Yet, the princess expected it to be her sister or perhaps her Hand, Tyrion Lannister.  The door finally opened, and Jaime crossed it. That made her sigh in relief and shake her head. It wasn’t Dany! It was Jaime

 

“Jaime….” -She leaned against the wall and looked at his intense green eyes. -

 

Their eyes locked for a moment, enough for him to see how exhausted she had been and how much she cried. Her eyes were puffy and red and white dried streaks were covering her cheeks. Those weren’t just mere tears; those were testimonies of her sobbing her heart out

 

“Princess.” He closed the door behind him, -. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop by earlier. I was with...”  

 

“I understand, Jaime.” She cut him short and closed the distance between the two of them. She didn’t need to hear him say more, at least not now. As soon as he entered the room, it was suddenly filled with his presence. The room became warmer all of a sudden and for a brief moment, the princess didn’t feel alone. she didn’t hide her tears, nor the slight shivers that were going down her spine. She was relieved to see him with her. She was relieved to hear his voice and akin to light piercing through the darkness, Jaime saved her from her own misery. “I understand. please stay with me for a while.” She begged, hugging him as tight as she could.

 

“How could I not indulge such a request?” he asked with a soft smile on his lips.

 

How could he?

 

-TBC-