A/N: Hello there, another challenge from the usual suspects :) This time, we chose the best first kiss. For my part, I decided to rewrite a scene this time using Matt and my oc Hayley. I'm still stretching my legs around this character, but I hope that I'll find her voice.
The context of this scene intervenes much later in their story. They know about their alter egos and have been working together to fight the H.A.N.D. This time, the H.A.N.D. took Melania, Hayley's co-worker, to bait Widowmaker to save her alone. Matt is having none of it and wants to be there for Hayley.
Disclaimers:
Daredevil, his supporting cast, and his universe (c) Marvel
Hayley Blackwood (c) mine
xxxx
"It doesn't get easier with time..."
Whispered Hayley, while she ran her hand through her black locks. Her grey eyes stared at Matt Murdock, dressed as Daredevil, who was crouched on her window. They argued all day long, mostly because Hayley didn't want him to follow her to Red Hook. When he left, Hayley took the time to think about their argument and realized that Matt had to go with her. It wasn't just because he was worried about her. It was also because the H.A.N.D. were his enemies, and they were responsible for the death of Elektra. She couldn't deny him his revenge. She also knew that despite her claims, she needed his help. The H.A.N.D. rarely worked in small numbers, and despite her skills, going in there blind and on her own was signing her death warrant. Hayley thought hard about the situation. Her priority was to save an innocent life. She wanted Melanie to survive the ordeal, and she knew that Daredevil would increase their chances.
If there had not been a hostage, then it would have been a different story. She would have gone on her own and probably would have died there. Matt was surprised, at first, when the stubborn Hayley asked for his help after having rejected his help so many times. When he came back to her, it was to apologize for being out of line when they had argued earlier that day. His words hurt her; he could tell because he saw tears in her eyes when she kicked him out of her office. What was he thinking? Telling her that going on a suicide mission would never wash the blood she had on her hands and calling her a hypocrite was the worst thing he could have said. He knew Hayley was trying to do some good. He knew that she was carrying a huge guilt for her past actions, and he also knew that she didn't choose to be an assassin. She was raised to become one.
"I know. Listen, Hayley, I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier. It was mean. It was awful." -He shook his head, ashamed- "I know you're trying your best.."
"You were right, though. I have too much blood on my hands. I would never be able to wash my ledger, it's just too red." -She swallowed a lump and pinched her plump lips together- "But I can risk my life to save an innocent. Melania doesn't deserve to die because of me. I want to save her... from me."
Hayley's voice cracked as she spoke. She tried to shake those emotions off and appear aloof and in control, but Matt had managed to break down her walls. She was unable to hide her vulnerability to him, no matter how hard she was trying. The night was a fresh one, and Hayley welcomed the nice breeze that was blowing on her boiling hot body. She hated the heat, tried to stay away from it because it was affecting her mood and made her crankier than usual. Matt could hear the sound of her heartbeat. She was a nervous wreck, maybe even more nervous than he was standing before her. He closed the distance between the two, and his nostrils were hit with her jasmine scent.
"It's not fair to you, Hayley. You were a child when they molded you into an assassin. I know their methods; Stick used to belong to them. He taught me to become a hero just like you were taught to become an assassin.. You broke free from them and you've dedicated your life to helping people." -He paused for a moment- "They're the ones who kidnapped Melania, not you. They're the ones who are trying to kill you; it's what it's about. They want your life! You need my support. Without a friend, you'll be easily overwhelmed."
"I don't need your pity, Matt!!" -She replied, furrowing her brow as she didn't like what he was saying to her. How could he, despite the horrors she was responsible for, find a way to be compassionate and understand her? How could he still see her humanity despite what she was... How could he still be so kind to her?-
"I don't pity you, Lee. I never pitied you, just like you never pitied me!" -He had a point. It was annoying, but she was still angry-
"Fuck you! You're still fucking looking at me like I deserve a second chance after all I did! You still think I can be redeemed!" -She wanted to turn on her heels and bare her back at him. She wanted this conversation to be over, but when Hayley started to turn on her heels, Matt grabbed her arm and pulled her against his hard chest.-
"Stop being stubborn! I never said I pitied you. I don't want you to die! What don't you understand, Lee? I don't want you to die because I would lose my fucking mind if you ever died!"
She widely opened her eyes, the grey orbs seemed to come alight as she was shocked. Hayley didn't expect Matt to actually do this. They met three months ago and barely touched each other. Tonight, it was different. Tonight, he wanted to touch her. She could feel his warm breath over her skin and hear the low growls he couldn't contain. The ebony assassin didn't know how to react and blankly stared at him. She didn't move, barely breathed, but she kept her eyes on him as if she couldn't do otherwise. Her mind told her that it would be clever to leave, to push him away, but something else prevented her from doing it.
Instead, the young woman stayed there, nearly pressed against his torso, with only his red spandex and her blue silky bathrobe between them. Since they met, Matt has never had the opportunity to "see" her face. He knew and memorized her rich, feminine voice, her heartbeat, and even the sound of her footsteps. Matt could tell that she was athletic, curvy, and probably beautiful. His nostrils were full of her scent, Jasmine, a light but very pleasant scent. Matt was familiar with all of this, but he never touched her...he never tasted her. For the first time in ages, the man without fears was slightly shivering in front of that woman. He wanted to "see" her, but didn't know how to ask for her permission. Hayley gasped and covered her mouth with her warm palm. She'd just felt the urge he was fighting against, and it was confusing her.
It wasn't difficult for her to notice. She could tell by the way he was holding her wrist. She could tell by the heavy breathing against her face. She could see his chest heaving up and down at a fast pace. His face was close to hers. His tantalizing scent was quickly overwhelming her and elicited a soft moan from her. She bit her bottom lip and bent a bit forward so her forehead could press against his chest. She then quickly pulled back and looked at his hand that was holding her wrist. Her hand softly held it. None of them wanted to speak, and they were holding their breaths. Hayley took his hand to her face and gently rubbed her cheek against his palm.
"Lee..."
"Shhh...." -She silenced him with her forefinger on his lips and took his other hand to her other cheek.- "Go ahead..."
His calloused fingers felt the softness of her skin; it was so soft that he couldn't believe she was a fighter. His curious and greedy fingers ran through her face, stroked her nose, her high cheekbones, her eyes, and forehead. Matt then lost his hands in her glorious black mane. It was soft, even softer than he thought. She let him do as he pleased, her hands still on his wrists and her gaze still very intense. Matt felt she was looking at him, and given her fast heartbeat, he could tell she was a bit overwhelmed with what was happening. As long as the woman didn't push him away, that meant she didn't mind him touching her, so he moved his fingers down to her jaw and gently rubbed his thumbs over her lips. He loved her features. She was African, that much he knew because she told him. Her breathing became labored as he was now touching her graceful neck, and she took his hand off her face.
"We should stop here..." -She whispered to him, blushing slightly. He noticed and nodded.-
"I'm already grateful you let me touch your face. I like to know who I'm talking to. Karen was right about you."
"What did she tell you?" -She asked, hands still holding his wrists. Matt didn't flinch and simply replied.
"That you were very beautiful." -He replied with a slight smirk on his lips. Hayley was dumbfounded by his words and shook her head.-
"Pffft, you weren't well informed, and it shouldn't matter anyway! I am /not/ beautiful."-He shushed her, and she swallowed back her words.-
"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder..." -He could feel that something had changed between the two of them. He could feel the spark between them, an electricity that drew them together. She enjoyed it when he touched her, and he enjoyed the sensation of her skin under his fingers-
"Easy to say for someone who can't see.." -She sneered, upset that he told her she was beautiful, confused because she didn't know how to reply, and also because they were supposed to be upset.-
"I /can/ see. It might not be with the eyes, but who needs eyes when all that matters is the inside? As far as I'm concerned, I think you're not evil at all. You save people, you protect those in need, and you are kind to others. You also contain the rage, the sorrow, the sadness, and all of these human feelings you forbid yourself to feel."
"I have unleashed so much pain on this world. I hurt so much inside..." -She said in a whisper. He put one hand on her shoulder-
"You are beautiful...you really are." -He said, his face now closer to hers-
"I'm sorry about this morning. I was so upset that I didn't think straight."-She said with a shaky voice, fresh, unshed tears filled her eyes-
"I was out of my mind this morning. I wanted to hurt you, which was childish and stupid."
"I deserved it....You are right, I can't repent for what I did. I took these innocent lives, and I can't undo it, but I can decide what I want to do, and I want to save people. I want to do good, Matt. I want to do good. This is."
"You can be more than that, Lee." -He replied, holding her shoulder tighter. Hayley rolled her head from left to right, and Matt rubbed his fingers against her cheek.-
"I love my life, Matt...I can't see myself being more than what I already am." -Daredevil shook his head and brought her fingers to his face.-
"Don't be so one-sided...You see things with your eyes and your mind. You should feel them with your heart, Hayley." -He removed his mask in one swift motion and added. "Close your eyes, let your fingers feel my face, and tell me what you see."
She swallowed hard and closed her eyes. Her shaking fingers feathered over his strong jaw, high cheekbones, and thin nose. It made her smile softly, and she tilted her head to the side. He held both her wrists, just as she had earlier, and pulled her fingers up to his eyes. Still scared to hurt him, the assassin was shaking, but he rubbed the back of her hands with his thumbs.
"You won't hurt me..." -He assured her.- "I trust you."
"How can you be so sure?..." -She asked, in a softer tone. His soft caresses made her feel better, and she slowly stopped shaking.-
"I trust you...this is all you need to know, Hayley. The why or the how... It doesn't matter here."
"I am still sorry to have been so mean this morning. I need your hel--'' -He shushed her with a finger on her lips and leaned his forehead against hers.-
'What do you see?"
"W..What?"
"What do you feel? When you don't see with your eyes, what do you see?"
"Y--you are...I can see you...Your strength, your warmth... I can feel your scars, your sadness...I can feel that you are not scared. You barely tensed when I touched you."
"I knew you were about to touch me, I'm not that comfortable around people." -He replied with a slight smile on his face. Matt released her wrists, but Hayley still cupped his cheeks. "I wanted you to open yourself to anything new that could come your way. You can be more than you already are."
"How?..." -She asked, her fingers now rubbing his lips.-
"Find something to fight for, something or someone you want to protect. If you have something to fight for, you would allow yourself the right to live your life."
She blinked several times, confused about what he was trying to say. She could feel it, the tension between the two of them, his desire for more. Could he want the same thing as her? Was he saying that he wanted to be with her? He wanted her to have a future, to be more than just an assassin or a vigilante. He wanted her to have a second chance at life -which was typical of Matt's catholic beliefs- He wanted her to have a life with him? Was he asking her out? She couldn't think straight, so instead, Hayley kissed his lips with such force that it bruised his lips. He tasted good, like menthol and cinnamon.
Matt wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to his strong and hard frame. She broke their kiss after a while, when the need to breathe took over. Hayley looked up at his face, her eyes searching for answers to questions she hadn't asked yet. Matt seemed to have the answers to his questions. This kiss was what he had been yearning for three months now. This kiss was exactly what he wanted and needed. He wanted her. He cared for her, and that kiss, so electric, so intense, felt right. The man without fears stroked her back and slowly pulled away from her. He smiled at her, content about the way her heart was racing against her ribcage, and yet, she felt comfortable and relaxed. It was a first step. It was /the/ only step that mattered for him. He simply wished that the rescue mission would be a success. His gaze lingered on her face, waiting for her to make the next move. He even tried to pull away from him, but she held onto his arms.
"Stay..."
-TBC-
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