Jake Trivia: (From N.)
// For safekeeping!
Death: Jake has become familiar with death over the years. He experienced it firsthand for the first time when he witnessed the death of his mother. After that, he was taken on the road with his father and brothers, and John trained his son to kill all manner of creatures who were doling out death themselves.
He never enjoyed the killing, but eventually grew somewhat detached from the reality of death. It was a survival mechanism. The only way Jake could stomach standing over gruesome murder after gruesome murder was to distance himself from it. He stopped allowing himself to see the people behind the gore, stopping thinking about who they had been and what had been done to them. He stopped allowing himself to care because the caring was going to tear him apart. Hunting became a job, one he still does from time to time when he stumbles on a case, but more and more over the years, he has distanced himself from that world.
Jake has accepted his own death as an inevitability. He lives life to the fullest, denying himself little in the way of his own wants and desires, because he believes he is likely to die sooner rather than later anyway. So why the hell not enjoy the ride?
Love: Jake has been in love, once (pre-Lux). It did not end well. Love is not something that he has actively sought out since.
He believes it exists. He hasn't become so jaded that he denies the existence of love. Jake just doesn't see it as being in the cards for him. His life has been bloody and messy. It still is, still can be. It's not something he would want to drag someone into. Especially if he cared about them.
Jake deliberately keeps relationships superficial, casual. He doesn't look for romantic love.
There are a few people in his life he can't help but care for more deeply. His brothers, Dean and Sam, he loves, complicated at their relationships are complicated. His sister-in-law, Oya. He loves them, and this feeling terrifies him. The possibility of losing another loved one is too painful to contemplate. It is a fear that hides behind his easygoing demeanor and endless jokes.
Marriage: Jake has not thought much about marriage. Simply because he long ago dismissed it as not being in the cards for him. Never mind the legal complications: legally, he has been missing since the age of 12 and has long been assumed dead, Jake Winchester is an alias, and officially does not exist.
Jake keeps all of his relationships with women casual. He has not been looking for romantic involvement, much less thinking about marriage.
It has always been so far out of the realm of possibility for him that he doesn't even think about it.
Heartbreak: it takes many forms, and Jake is familiar with all of them. From the loss of his mother and his old life, the failure to save innocent lives, or having the one woman he loved betray him and smash his heart into a million pieces. Jake has been there, done that.
As far as dealing with it? Jake retreats into silence, withdraws into himself, and does little else but sit with the pain until time dulls it enough that he can move on. It never goes away, but eventually it can be tucked away somewhere in the back of his mind.
What other choice did he have when his mother was killed and he was thrown into the back of an impala, told to deny his old identity, deny knowledge of his mother, deny everything, and soldier on? His relationship with heartbreak and pain was formed then, and his habits have changed little in the years since.
Soothing/ addiction and coping mechanisms: We are going to combine these two topics, because when it comes to Jake, you can't talk about one without talking about the other.
Jake is a loner and has never turned to others for comfort or soothing. His mother, when he was young, but those days are long gone, and John berated that habit in him long ago.
Self-soothing is the way to go, and Jake long ago turned to alcohol and all manner of drugs to dull the pain.
He is an alcoholic, but masks it well. People see a singer who likes to party. No cause for alarm. He's a good time, and they move on. No one spends enough time around Jake to put two and two together, i.e., that the drinking never really stops.
It dulls the pain enough to let him carry on, too.
No comments:
Post a Comment