one more day

You think you're the beast and I'm the beauty
But I'm the beast and you're the beauty
Every time I wake up thinking that my day is maybe my last
But then I turn my head and I see your beautiful face

and it makes me think that maybe it's worth living one more day

Pride and Asma : Ares death

TRIGGER WARNING: Ares is a piece of shit. He's also the God of War so he does terrible things to people. Fortunately, he won't do any of his shit to Elpis but he'll still hurt her.:/

A/N: Before Olympus fell, Ares was one of the very first gods to die by the hands of Pride. Everybody thought it was planned and therefore it was even scarier, but truth was, it was an impulsive reaction to the SIN. Gluttony's presence and mind-games awoke this painful memory which in turns are misinterpreted by Asma.

Asma Jensen belongs to me

Pride/Superbia belongs to Nate my friend 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Very few things could make Pride angrier than usual. He usually was a cold entity, collected and composed and never lost his cold blood, not even in the face of threats. What should he be afraid of anyway? He was the most powerful being of the universe, capable of slaying gods themselves. He was feared among them, talked as if he was their boogeyman and relished in the fear he induced in their hearts and the slaughters he was responsible for after. At the very best he could be annoyed or upset but angry? It never happened up until this very day. They hadn't seen each other for quite some time due to Elpis fulfilling her duties as the Elder Goddess of Hope and walking the Earth. He knew from his minions that there was a war provoked by Ares, the Greek god of war and she usually met him and induced hope in the heart of brave soldiers, usually without picking a side. They had an agreement that they would work side by side without interrupting the other or intervene in human affairs. But she should have at least sent a messenger to tell Pride about the event. He received nothing which caught his attention.

He sent his minions in hopes that maybe she was exhausted and needed to recover for a while but became tensed as they reported she was not on the battlefield and so wasn't Ares, which was suspicious at the very least. He sent minions for more investigation before he decided to make a move. His mind was filled with theories and explanation. Something rational must have happened. Maybe Ares was tending to Elpis if she needed to rest after using her powers to their full extent but even he didn't buy his false narrative. Ares was known for two things: War and his treatment of women, goddesses or not. He was brutal, he was envious and he took what wasn't his, to begin with. Ares used to be one of Elpis suitors. He thought that they both were meant to be together because he was the god of War, one of the most powerful there was and she induced Hope, which benefited him since it led people to continue the fight. She was a tool in his hands, a coveted one at that given how popular and beautiful she was. But at this stage of Pride's relationship with Elpis, very few were aware of them being together. Elpis might have been in danger.

And she was. As soon as the war began, the pink haired goddess started to do her job as usual. She walked the battlefield and with a simple touch or her aura spreading around her, she induced Hope in the hearts of soldiers. It was exhausting her due to the sheer number of them and how strong other feelings such as fear or pain took over but she held on. It was at this moment she felt the towering presence of Ares behind her. She was short, barely reaching his sternum as he looked at her from above. Her soft and curvy body looked tantalizing from his point of view. Her short stature and warmth attracted the brutal god who couldn't help but put his hand on her shoulder. Freezing at his contact, the goddess of Hope furrowed her brows and as gentle as possible pushed his hand away.

« How long are you going to resist me? » He asked as he flipped her around so he could face her and relish in her uncomfortable expression. He tended to do that to the women he spent time with, aside from Aphrodite who didn't mind at all his brutality. Elpis took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before anything escalated quickly. Ares wasn't really the kind of person you could reason with. He was an animal, driven by rage, bloodthirst and the spoils of war. He was a brute that only knew to take and not to give. No wonder nobody wanted to bond with him. No matter that only Aphrodite could allow herself to debase herself for a man like him. It scared Elpis, deep down, to face him because she knew that she couldn't talk her way out of it and away from him. He was stronger than her in every way. His size, his strength, and her powers didn't affect him in the slightest when she was hopeful and good. Despair couldn't even come because fear was paralyzing her from head to toe so she was stuck there with a god who wanted to take her and her fear that prevented her to escape or think rationally.

« I told you I do not want to be with you. » She said with a soft voice, still trying to appeal to his more reasonable self but Ares shrugged his shoulders and grabbed her wrists hard enough for her not to be able to escape from him and so he could drag her out of the battlefield and into his tent. A minion, inside the body of a human soldier, saw that and started to run away from the battlefield in order to notify Pride that Elpis was in danger. Unfortunately, Ares minions were also there and decided to ambush the minion to protect their god. Ares laughed as he saw small Elpis trying to escape from him. She squirmed, kicked and tried to bite him but he let her do, her teeth not being strong enough to hurt him effectively. He threw her onto the ground, where her white and gold toga got dirty because of the dust and the dried mud. It was a place with ancient spells that prevented Elpis from teleporting back to the Elder-realm. « What are you doing Ares? » She asked, her voice shaking at the thought of what he /might/ do to her. She knew Ares by reputation and knew that if she didn't find a way to leave, he would effectively hurt her. He was a sadist, one of the worst of all pantheons and he enjoyed seeing her try to escape from his tent. There was a throne he sat on, a large bed made of animals fur, bones and leather, and riches that were spread all over the place, along with weapons and a few women that laid on the side, bruised and seemingly in pain. « What did you do to them? » She asked horrified as she tried to touch one of them who barely breathed and induced hope within her heart so she could hold on. She touched the others and felt tears fill her eyes.

« Oh come on. Have you never been on a battlefield Elpis? This is part of the riches a man has the right too. Money, blood, and pussy. That's what I deserve to have. »

« You forced them... you can't force someone to have sex with you. » She said, her voice betraying her fear of him and forcing her to bite her bottom lip. « I am NOT staying here with you. » She said as she started to run towards the entrance of the tent, but something prevented her from moving further as soon as she reached it and Elpis understood that the spell he created effectively prevented her from leaving the space. She was trapped. Her eyes started to avert from left to right as she was looking for something else to do, but she couldn't think straight and started to shake even harder. Ares relished in the moment when they realized they wouldn't be able to avoid his brutal assaults. He wasn't considerate like any proper master towards their submissives. He didn't mind about his partner's comforts or limits. He didn't mind trying to have a dialogue or even to please them. He was a taker and that was all he did. Thrusts after thrusts after thrusts until he erupted within them regardless if they were literally destroyed after he was done. He ruined every single of the human women he raped. If they didn't die already due to the brutality of his assaults, they couldn't live normal lives after being raped by a god. It was the same with all the deities and demi-goddess he forced himself on. Ares was disgusting. Every fiber of her body hated him and yet feared him because she realized she couldn't hurt him. « You are disgusting Ares.. whatever it is you want from me, you won't have. I will never mate with you. I will never choose you. Do you hear me? Fuck yy-- »

« Shut up Elpis, you are boring when you talk. Listen instead. » He said as he grabbed her by the neck. It wasn't pleasant like it was with Pride. It hurt and it made her cry a couple of tears but she grunted and still had this fighting light in her gaze, which annoyed Ares who brought her face closer to his. « I don't care if you will want me or not. We are gods and gods laws are that if you lose your virginity to me, you belong to me. I am going to take it from you so you would become mine whether you want it or not! » He said with a grin. Her eyes stared at him and she couldn't help but laugh at him. « Why are you laughing? It's no laughing matter! » He said as she kept laughing louder and louder.

« Ahahahahaha you are way too late for that Ares. I have been claimed already. I have been taken by someone who isn't you and someone I am loyal to. Ahahahahah you're wasting your time with me so you better release me because if he learns that you tried to force your stinky ass on me, he's going to rip you a new one! » She thought it was her solace. He didn't know about Pride so she would use it on him. It seemed to work given the confusion on Ares' face so he released her neck as he tried to collect his thoughts.She kept laughing, this time clearly mocking him. It didn't sit well with the god who looked at her with a flaming red gaze.

« What did you say? » He asked as he grabbed her arm. She struggled, this time scared of the giant god who was standing in front of her. He bruised her arm and she knew by the strength he was using against her that it only was the beginning. « Someone took you? Who IS HE? » He asked.

« Superbia! » She said firmly, believing that it would at least buy her some time. It didn't induce fear in the god of war, all the opposite. He hadn't met Pride just yet and didn't really know the full extent of the SIN's power. He heard stories about him but that was it. A dark chuckle escaped from his dry lips which made Elpis shake harder. It didn't calm him, now he was laughing and she didn't like the sound of it. She thought mentioning the forbidden name would at least make him think twice but all it did was anger him even more. « Why... why are you laughing Ares? » She dared ask the god whose eyes were now fully red due to his anger towards her.

« You debased yourself with a SIN? You could have chosen a god but you gave yourself to a weapon? It's. it's laughable Elpis. It's a disgrace. You are filthy, you need to be cleansed. »

He said, an evil grin on his lips. She realized he still wanted to take her but now with different motivations. Panicked, she started to punch his chest. He took the hits, laughing at her pitiful attempts at saving herself and even aroused by her combativity. « Go ahead. fight me. It would be even better when I will make you scream my name! » He said punching her in the stomach. Elpis eyes grew wide as the pain was going through her body and she couldn't help but spit golden blood on the floor. He released her arm to watch her take a few steps back, wiping the blood on her chin with the back of her hand and then running to the other side of the tent, he pushed her, forcing her to hit the throne and fall on her side, but she didn't stay there and grabbed the throne to lift herself up. He laughed again, watching Elpis fighting him until she couldn't arouse him even more.

« Get....away... from me. Ares. If Ishtar learns. He would-- »

« He would thank me! Your brother is like me Elpis! What do you think he would do if he learns you let a filthy creature fuck you? He would want to cleanse you himself, with his cock in your tight cunt! Is it even tight anymore? » He taunted her but she spat blood on his face as he bent forward her. « CUNT! » He said punching her face, making her spit more blood onto the floor and hit her face against the throne again. She was disheveled, bleeding internally as he started to kick her belly and thighs but she didn't break.

« Pride would find you.. and when he does, he's going to k, ll you Ares... He isn't a filthy animal.. he's even more refined than you are. He would never force me to give myself to him. He would never hit me... I am not scared of you. You think your cock would do anything to me? You're just prowling on mankind battlefields because you ain't shit in your pantheon and even less in mine. Go ahead.I won't even scream! » She said as he lifted her by her hair.

« Ah really?  What if I do this? »

He said, even angrier than before. She wasn't breaking even though she was scared of him. Her body couldn't hide her fear, her skin was covered in goosebumps, she whimpered and painfully moaned, she still looked at him straight in his eyes even though her lips were trembling. Now that he tore open her toga and exposed her supple breasts to him, she should have been ashamed and tried to cover herself but she dropped her arms and just waited for him to do his deed. Her golden orbs were gleaming in full force because she still hoped Pride would come to her rescue or would at least avenge her if he didn't know. She had hopes that Ares would die or at least would be punished for what he was about to do. She was scared beyond reason, preparing mentally for the pain she would experience by the hand of the god but she still had hope. it didn't die in her eye and the fact she compared him to Pride and considered him, Ares, inferior to the SIN achieved to blind him with rage.

While Elpis was being taunted and tortured by Ares, the minion of the Underworld succeeded in beating the minions of Ares and found his master. He informed him of what he saw and gave him the location so Pride could intervene. The sin lost patience, to say the very least. His minion saw his master unleash a large amount of power nobody ever saw before. His eyes were glowing purple, like turbulent oceans. He watched as his aura expanded in his office and suffocated him. He was scared of his master but he knew that whoever pissed him off would be in a worse shape than the minion was. How dared ARES take his beloved? How dared him TOUCH Elpis? Pride transported himself to the battlefield and walked without caring for the human lives he interfered with. As he walked they simply couldn't stand the pressure he created around them and exploded, partially or completely depending on how exposed to him they were and if they touched him. Bones, flesh, viscera, and brains were splattering everywhere around Pride who didn't care for a minute about his toga being soiled by human garbage. He found the tent and looked around, noticing the protective spells Ares cast there. So the bastard trapped Elpis inside? Was it how he operated? He heard the noises from within the tent, Ares grunts, slap and moist sounds and Elpis grumbles. From an outside point of view, it sounded as if Ares was already forcing himself on the goddess while in reality, he was trying to humiliate and break her mind with punches and slaps. He was punching her belly, still holding her wrists with one hand and lifting her body so he could reach out to her tender bruised belly. Beating her into submission managed to turn him on since her mockery earlier on killed his arousal and he was ready to go to the second part of his plan when Pride succeeded in breaking the spells he knew by heart.

« Now that you have stopped comparing me to that SIN scumbag, maybe It's time I rip your pussy open and teach you what a true god is made of. » He said dropping her onto the floor and watching her still trying to move away from him. He laughed and walked towards her with a hand on his loincloth when he felt the presence of Pride. His aura was threatening and suffocating and forced the Olympian god to turn around to face his opponent. « Finally! Here you are! » He said, eyes still fully red from anger.

« Don't look at me. » Elpis whimpered as she painfully curled into a ball in shame. He noticed the top of her toga was gone, he noticed her blood a little bit everywhere on the floor, he noticed the blood on Ares' fists and it was enough to drive him crazy with anger. Nobody witnessed Superbia's wrath and survived to tell.

« Elpis is mine and mine alone. Mine to touch, mine to cherish and mine to protect. How DARE you lay one of your filthy fingers on my beloved. » He began calmly, but he wasn't calm. She knew his voice and the tone he used was deeper than usual, which made her lift her head to look at him and notice his aura invading the tent. She had to protect the humans who were left for dead in the tent but Ares beat her up so hard that she wasn't able to crawl her way up towards them. She noticed as they started to whimper and beg for sweet release and mercy and started to cry as she knew it was only a matter of seconds before their wish was granted to them.

« This dumb bitch chose you over a god like me! It's like throwing caviar to pigs! You're nothing SIN, I am not afraid of you! » He said summoning his battleax. Pride hated two things in the world. Those who disrespected him and those who disrespected Elpis. It was a crime he wasn't willing to forgive so he wouldn't. His eyes were like tempests, always moving like tormented water. His anger was so huge that even his hair, once blonde, took a purple shade. He walked towards the God who started to laugh nervously because he thought that whoever tried to attack him without a weapon was stupid or suicidal. He jumped on Pride who stopped him mid-air with a flick of his hand, effectively paralyzing the god who started to growl. « What? What have you.. what have you done? »

« You shouldn't have laid a hand on Elpis. You shouldn't have insulted her. You shouldn't have brutalized her. » He said, his voice reaching several levels deeper. Elpis was still watching, curious as she never saw him angry.

« I should have raped her first! So you would have found your precious goddess soiled by someone else's spunk! Ahahaha if it's not me, trust me others would do the minute they learn she went with you! »

He was wrong, it was all him and the folks like him typical behavior. If anything, most of the gods wanted this union to work so maybe it would give them an opportunity of a truce. Others hated this relationship and wanted the SIN to die or Elpis to be punished for fraternizing with the enemy but never a sane god would have wanted to rape the goddess. Even among them, it was seen as a vile crime. Beings like Zeus, Ares, at times Appolo resorted to this crime more often than not, but not every god and goddess were like them. But at this point, Pride didn't want to know what was the truth and what wasn't. The simple thought of having Ares put his nauseous hands on his beloved body made his blood boil. The simple thought of him forcing himself on her, the pain he would bring her was unbearable. It drove him mad.

« So this is what you wanted to do to her? Rape Elpis? » As he spoke, the humans couldn't bear his aura that increased in strength and pleaded louder for mercy for those who could still speak.

« Cleansing would suit it better. »

Ares said with a smug grin. « I wanted her to take a real big cock, not some engineered cock. I wanted her to scream as I tore her tight little pussy apart. I am sure this is what you like to do to her. Does it feel good? This debased goddess pussy? Does it feel good? » He was taunting Pride, in hopes that he would make a mistake and release him but Pride didn't. His body color changed, gradually becoming purple along with his hair that now was like a purple flame. He was going mid-true form, only releasing a fraction of his actual power. Ares noticed he could actually move and landed onto the ground as Pride didn't flinch a muscle. But he was tensed and Ares noticed the difference in strength and power and felt his body still paralyzed but this time, not because of the Sin. Instead, it was natural. His body was experiencing fear. Pride relishing in the sight of realization from Ares, that he would not survive his encounter with the SIN. The aura was too much for the women who disintegrated themselves and died a merciful death.

« You think you are smart or better than any of us? You think that you are mighty and deserving of the power bestowed upon you? Ares, look at you, look at your peers. There is a reason my siblings and I were created and it was to cleanse the world from scumbags like you. » He started with before he extended both hands from each side of his body. «  You simply accelerated your death by taking what is mine and treating Elpis the way you did. Nobody hurts the woman I love! » He claimed, much to the goddess surprise and the confusion of the god of war who couldn't believe his ears. Pride then grunted and the front of his body started to shapeshift. It became some sort of void from where purple tentacles escaped from. Elpis could see teeth the size of Ares battleax and blinked as she couldn't believe her eyes but did understand what was going on. He was going to eat him. A la Gluttony. He was going to eat the god which was a worse punishment than a quick death.

« No ! Get off me! Don't touch me! » Howled Ares who tried to escape but couldn't. He was pulled into Pride by the tentacles that wrapped around his limbs and face. Pride's face was still human and he laughed darkly at the sight of the scared god before him.

« Now you are afraid, I bet you never experienced fear before. Lucky for you, I am here and I feel benevolent today. You will be slowly digested, for millennia inside of me and you will only feel pain and hear everything I do to Elpis. You will hear that goddess you coveted for so long gasp and moan as I make love to her or fuck her depending on our moods. You will hear her say my name instead of yours. You will endure the eternal pain until I have decided I had enough of you and digest you completely. Now COME TO ME ARES GOD OF WAR! » He yelled as he absorbed the god inside of himself. The void closed and he returned to his normal figure. Satisfied with the punishment he gave Ares, he rubbed his taut belly for a while and took a short while to let his anger subside and allow himself to return to his more friendly appearance.  His skin returned to being human pink, his hair returned to being blonde and his aura became smaller and smaller until Elpis could breathe again. She was laid on her sides, unable to move as the pain was taking over but she felt her beloved arms gently scoop her from the floor. She opened her only valid eye while the rest of her body was recovering.

« You came..... »

« Of course. » He said as for the first time she saw his worried gaze. It scanned her from head to toe, noting all of her injuries and groaned out of anger at the sight of her. She looked away and whispered in a broken voice.

« I am sorry... I tried to fight him off but he put spells and my powers couldn't hurt him and.. and I couldn't induce despair in his heart because I was scared. I tried to taunt him but it only angered him so much. I am sorry Superb-- » He shushed her and nuzzled her face.

It was an affectionate gesture he would never display outside of their intimacy but he felt relieved she was alive, and even more that Ares didn't go through with his plan. She fought hard, he knew it, otherwise, why would Ares lash out at her the way he did? And even if she didn't, he didn't blame her for what happened and would never. She wasn't the strongest physically and even less a warrior goddess. She was kind and soft and made others feel important and loved. She was delicate in a way, despite her foul mouth, despite her inner strength, despite her resilience, she still was delicate and he felt an urge to protect her even more so nothing happened to her.

« It's not your fault. You did what you were supposed to do. You've been doing this for millennia with him and with other gods! He decided to behave this way with you and it's his fault and his fault only do you hear me? » She nodded and closed her eyes. « I will tend to your injuries until you've recovered. Your eye might heal faster than the rest of your body. »

« I was so scared... » She said, finally sobbing as allowed herself to address her fear. He held her tighter, swearing to himself that he would never let her alone anymore, especially since the word would spread that she chose a SIN for a mate. He would protect her and would slaughter whole pantheons if he had to.

« I dealt with him. He is never going to touch you again. Nobody will. » He told her, holding her firmly but softly.

He snapped his fingers, teleporting them back to his headquarters where he would take care of Elpis until she recovered. It was the first time Superbia realized he could lose Elpis as simple as it was to sigh or snap his finger. She was a target and took the risk because of her love for him. He realized she might have sacrificed a lot just to be with him, much more than what he could if his siblings thrown themselves into the mix. He realized how harmed she could have been but how instead of driving her away from him, it only strengthened her feelings for him. Their relationship was forged in fire whether he wanted it or not but the more he looked at her and her loyalty, the more he wanted to fight to keep her in his life. As she fell asleep quickly due to her exhaustion, Pride petted her hair and kissed the top of her head « I love you » whispered at the tip of his tongue as he summoned a desk in his room to work from there while his servants tended to her injuries and he kept an eye on her. Ares warned him, he was the first, but Pride was ready to take on the others. He would destroy the pantheon as his father requested but this time it would be personal.

Pride and Asma : Gluttony's revenge : part1

A/N: dun dun dun! Enters Gluttony. Smooth and sexy looking creature with a short temper and a need for power. He's just observing for the time being but he would make a dramatic entrance that's for sure. He's envious, jealous of everything Pride has so, of course, he would try to take it for himself ;)

xxx xxx

Gluttony went to a barber shop at the corner of the street where Asma and Pride's house was. He'd been following the pair for quite some time now, perfectly blended with the humans living in the area. Gluttony, unlike most of the sins, didn't hate going to the mortal realm. It offered him more possibilities to thrive and enjoy himself than the Underworld. Here, he wasn't constantly under the thumb of his elder brother, Pride. Being one of the latest SINS to be created, he was one of the weakest as well, but also one of the most resourceful too. When they were still their father's weapons, he had the false comforting thought of being an equal to his siblings. They all were used by their father, they all were useful to his plan and they only answered to him. It was fine for Gluttony for a while. He'd always been unpredictable hence why Hades had a tight control on him and focused his attention on several missions as well as allowing him to remain on Earth instead of the Underworld so he could feel fulfilled.

When their father was betrayed by Pride who killed him and took over the Underworld, everything changed for the SIN. He had always resented Pride from the very beginning of his creation. He was the « perfect » SIN, the very first. Gluttony felt inferior due to the great difference of power between the two. Pride was the strongest, the most feared of the siblings and even Gluttony couldn't help himself but be terrified by his sibling when he was angry. Yet, being Gluttony, he was compelled to wanting more. Without Hades to keep him in check the SIN wanted more and more and more and it included power. He wanted to get rid of Pride so he could reign over the Underworld instead and it became his main goal. He wanted everything Pride had, was envious of every ounce of power kept by his elder sibling. He wanted to wipe the smug grin off of Pride's face whenever the two of them were interacting. Pride scared the hell out of him but angered him enough to make the SIN plot against him. Unlike some of his siblings who would actually work together to bring Pride down like Sloth and Wrath, He would work alone, because who to trust if not himself only?

How could he take over a creature as Perfect and as prepared as Pride? Fate gave him an opportunity. When Elpis awoke, she inevitably was also remembered by the SINS who came to know about her. Not all of them were aware of her existence millennia ago, even when she visited the underworld, she managed to always appear in Pride's private quarters, that were protected enough to hide her presence from the rest of his siblings. But he did see her several times when she became curious about the place and wanted to see it for herself. He also followed them on Earth, not to their secret hideout but when they did walk on Earth among humans. She was beautiful, the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. She was soft and kind and everything the SINS weren't supposed to be. He saw how she influenced his brother, seemingly softening him which gave Gluttony the idea that maybe she was Pride's weakness. Truth be told, she wasn't but Gluttony had no idea. Pride wasn't weak, he simply opened up to her and chose to behave softly with her. It was a choice, but Gluttony didn't see things this way. He couldn't. He didn't even know Elpis enough to realize that if he angered her, she wouldn't be as sweet and soft as she appeared to be but there again, Gluttony didn't see things that way.

He talked to her once. Millenia ago. She was walking the Earth on her own and he happened to be there too. He first tried to seduce her, thinking that maybe it wasn't Pride she wanted but just a forbidden fruit, a SIN, to mingle with. She turned him down quite fast, hurting his ego to the point he nearly wanted to physically hurt her but refrained from doing so. Hurting her wasn't the right way he could hurt Pride in return. Hurting her would make his brother angrier than anything else so he didn't. Instead, he changed his tactics and tried to make her change her mind over Pride. He told her about the countless horrors the SIN did in the name of their father. He tried to appeal to her innocent and compassionate primeval goddess heart so she would be disgusted by her lover and dump him. It didn't work! Elpis knew Pride. She knew everything he was and everything he did because he told her and unlike many other primeval gods or gods from other pantheons, she accepted them as the deeds her lover did because he was meant to. It was who he was and she couldn't judge him on that. He was a different person with her, different enough to love her and share his soul with her and it was all that mattered. Provoked and angry, Elpis dismissed Gluttony's warnings and threatened to talk about their conversation to Pride himself if he kept trying to break their relationship. He growled at this failure and left in a snap of a finger.

Now that he remembered her since her awakening and once he realized how much had changed over the millennia, Gluttony thought that maybe it was his time to shine. He followed Pride and since he was excellent at tracking his opponents (siblings included) he was able to find him on Earth. He saw Asma and he realized that although she wasn't as bright and as beautiful as her goddess counterpart, she still looked pretty much like her. An actual doppelgänger which confirmed that whatever was going on, Elpis was on Earth and it had something to do with this human. He spent weeks tailing his sibling and watching his behavior the rare moments he and Asma were outside. He was tensed, careful, cast spells to protect the human and hide her from celestial creatures. They were on the run! It hit Gluttony like an epiphany. They were running away from gods! No matter how much he was trying to protect that human, Pride couldn't stay with her for so long. There would be a moment when he would need to return to the Underworld and rule. There was Gluttony's chance to hit him where it hurt.

He would observe the human and decide for the right time to kidnap her. She was frail and powerless against a SIN so it wouldn't cause him too much trouble. Besides, unlike Elpis who was a strong-willed individual, Asma wasn't. She was human and easy to manipulate. He would mess up with her, frighten her, make her see why she should be afraid of the SINS and Pride in peculiar. He thought about maybe claiming the human as his so Pride wouldn't want her, the idea crossed his mind but he wasn't decided yet. He had many ways to toy with the human before Pride came to her rescue and he intended to hurt HIM more than he would imagine. Gluttony was always thought to be a wild card, one that needed to be monitored harsher than the rest of his siblings due to his thirst for power and now that he was unleashed and his resentment for his brother reached its peak, he would prove to Pride that he should be the one ruling instead and he should be the one spoilt with the most beautiful creature on his lap. He would strike two birds with one stone.

Forgive Yourself

 Forgive yourself,

A/N: I am too exhausted to explain. I am sorry. 

Forgive yourself for the days you weren't strong enough, (Because we can't always be strong)

Forgive yourself for the days you gave up (I'm glad you're still alive)

Forgive yourself for not loving yourself enough (You will learn)

Forgive yourself for not being « that person », (you are your person)

Forgive yourself for your suicidal tendencies (because you're not doing it for attention)

Forgive yourself for not wanting to be under the spotlight (sometimes it's good to be acknowledged)

Forgive yourself for having weaknesses (we're both strengths and weaknesses. Don't be ashamed)

Forgive yourself for needing help (Even Goliaths need help)

Forgive yourself for not trying to ask for it, when you clearly need it (You will be able to someday)

Forgive yourself for not reaching your goals (it happens)

Forgive yourself for not meeting up your impossible expectations (You're too hard on yourself)

Forgive yourself for being different (you are unique)

Forgive yourself for being afraid of the unknown (You could have it good too)

Forgive yourself for being afraid of those things you do know (end the harmful patterns)

Forgive yourself for having meltdowns (you can't help them)

Forgive yourself for sometimes forgetting to take care of yourself (Eat, drink, take your meds)

Forgive yourself for your insomnia (how can one sleep when one hears their thoughts?)

Forgive yourself for your lack of trust in yourself (you will learn)

Forgive yourself for your lack of trust in others (You will learn)

Forgive yourself for your PTSD (You can't help it)

Forgive yourself for wanting yourself dead and your suicidal tendencies (Because you matter !)

Forgive yourself for your failures (and learn from them)

Forgive yourself for blaming yourself for the abuse you were a victim of (it is not your fault)

Forgive yourself for thinking you deserve to be punished for simply existing (you do not!)

Forgive yourself for thinking you will never be enough (because you are)

Forgive yourself for thinking you are ugly (your heart isn't darkness, you take care of your body)

Forgive yourself for repeating the same destructive path (this text is proof you're fighting!)

Forgive yourself for ignoring your own needs (including your own sexual desires, cause they exist)

Forgive yourself for ignoring the good you do (because you are not the summation of your failures)

Forgive yourself for hiding your pain (because you want to protect everyone BUT yourself)

Forgive yourself for wanting more (you only had crumbles of love in your life, you deserve more)

Forgive yourself for being shit scared of losing everything and everyone (real love doesn't leave)

Forgive yourself for silencing your fears (because ignoring them is enforcing them!)

Forgive yourself for feeling that pain burning inside (pain you still can't understand)

Forgive yourself for being scared of being happy (you won't lose it once you get it)

Forgive yourself for blaming yourself to have dreams and hopes (because you can have them)

Forgive yourself for running away from happiness because you don't know what it is

Forgive yourself because you can't always be a superhuman, you can't gloss over your pain,

you can't ignore it. You can't go around believing you only deserve shit because you're shit yourself, you can't do that to yourself and it pains me that you do. It pains me every time you go silent and you take punishment, it pains me that you think you deserve to be punished. And you would go on, lying to yourself about being fine and alright when you know deep down that it isn't true. You will go on, with a smile and the next day you would be gone. Forgive yourself beautiful, forgive yourself ! You can't be willing to send love to anyone but yourself, you can't keep on starving yourself emotionally, you can't keep on doing this to yourself. Forgive yourself! Not for anyone but yourself. Forgive yourself! Because it's a big important step forward. Forgive yourself!

Pride and Asma : Ayasha the « One who always know »

A/N: So still laying the ground for our baby <3 This time we spend a little bit of time with the primeval gods. Elpis decision to remain with Pride destroyed everything. Would we know why the primeval gods hate the SIN so much? Stay tuned! (lmao or don't:p this scene just needed to be written because it didn't leave my mind for two straight days! Now it's done!) Pride belongs to my friend Nate and Asma/Elpis belong to me

xxx xxx xxx

« You didn't give me a choice Elpis. It had to be done » Lamented Ayasha.

She was the elder goddess of Knowledge when her pantheon was still thriving. She used to know everything or at least she always was one of the first to know. Yet, when it was revealed to the All-Father that her dear sister Elpis was involved with one of their sworn enemies, it was a complete shock for the goddess. How come she didn't know? How come Elpis was able to spend time on Earth without Ayasha noticing? They all blamed the goddess for her lack of foreseeing and came to her with an ultimatum. Either she convinced her sister to give up on this foolish love, either she was cast away and stripped from her goddess title. Panicked, the golden-skinned deity ran towards Ishtar, her brother and the god of War who fomented a plan to coerce Elpis into giving up her love for the Sin. They tried the soft way, conversations, and attempts at guilt-tripping Elpis into giving up on Pride. However, love was too overwhelming and too powerful to be subdued by threats.

Ayasha noticed that her magic fountain of truth, which allowed her to observe the universe, couldn't locate Elpis for short periods on time when she was on Earth and realized that it only happened when she saw her lover. It explained to her why she couldn't know about Elpis romance with the SIN and why it was even more dangerous to leave her sister alone with that monster. SINS were and had always been sworn enemies of Primeval gods because they had the power to destroy them. All the gods from different pantheons heard of the SINS when they decided to overthrow the gods in Olympus. From the moment Olympus fell, their names were all over the primeval gods' lips. It only took one of them to destroy entire pantheons and it wasn't even Pride.

As soon as Olympus fell and the Egyptian Pantheon followed, it became clear that the others would follow. Little by little Hades spread his power and destroyed the competition, ensuring that he was the only god of Death still alive and worshipped universally. Primeval gods were considered the very first deities to have existed. They existed before Earth itself was born and Gaea gave birth to several of these gods alongside to humanity. Essentially, they were the most powerful gods that there could be. Primeval goddess of Life was the strongest there was but also the most vital entity of the universe and Earth, so Hades decided not to touch her unless she opposed him, which she didn't do. Other gods, however, wanted to stop Hade's rampage and foolishness as soon as possible which led to the imperative need to destroy his « children », the SINS.  The whole pantheon perceived them as soulless monsters, but Elpis didn't. She did worse than having a different opinion, she betrayed her own pantheon. She fell in love!

« Where are you little mortal? Where are you so I can kill you? » Ayasha growled.

She hit the edge of the fountain of Truth out of frustration from not being able to locate the avatar of her sister. It was crucial for the elder gods to find and put Elpis back into a cycle of reincarnation so the SINS would not come after them. It would at least be the least of their problems if Pride remained oblivious of what they did to him and didn't seek revenge. Ayasha didn't have a choice but to tell Ishtar their brother and the god of War what happened. She wanted him to find a solution, maybe rough up Elpis a little so she would give up on being with that filthy creature but even he failed to convince their sister. She was Hope after all, how could she be reasoned with?? How could she see Pride for the monster and abomination he truly was? How could she? They failed and this failure prompted Ishtar to resort to the worst. He wouldn't kill her because he couldn't bring himself to, but she would be punished. So he grabbed the dagger of Fate and stabbed Elpis in her heart, not deep enough to kill her instantaneously, but enough to condemn her to a never-ending cycle. The gesture in itself divided the pantheon and without Hope by their sides, a war quickly started.

Most of the primeval gods were destroyed. Gaea exiled herself and usually was left out of the conflict by her children and siblings. Ishtar was attacked by many who thought that he shouldn't have cursed his own sister but should have instead tried to take on the SIN itself. Others thought that Ishtar destroyed their only chance to survive the wrath of the SINS and viewed a union between Pride and Elpis as their salvation. Others sided with Ishtar and thought that he was too nice on Elpis and should have killed her. One argument led to the other and they ended up in a war that nobody wanted in the first place. Many died, others were locked in prisons, the All-Father was killed and forced Ishtar to take over as the new King and Ayasha were assigned the surveillance of her sister's soul. It made the goddess shiver because she failed twice. She didn't know Elpis would be strong enough to breach the seal and make herself known to the SIN. She didn't know Pride would find her and now she was unable to locate them unless they remained for too long in the same place.

The Dagger of Fate was hidden in the ruins of the ancient Egyptian pantheon, which became a place nobody ever set a foot at. It was protected with elder magic which made it even harder to penetrate unless you were an elder. Ishtar thought that by leaving the only weapon capable of hurting an elder god out of reach, he would save himself some trouble. After all, aside from the weapon, the elder gods themselves or the SINS, it was difficult to end a primeval god but he didn't take second chances and made sure the dagger wouldn't be a problem. His only concern, now that the war of the elders was almost done, was to make sure Elpis wouldn't wake up and the SINS wouldn't come after them.

Ayasha, still frustrated felt a few tears roll down her cheeks and as she wiped them off of her face with the back of her hand, the elder goddess turned to her brother who was still in the shadow. His white hues stared at her golden form and he cleared his throat.

« You still can't see her? »

« She is the SIN. Whenever they are together I can't see her. I can only count on him being busy in the underworld so I could have more chance to see her. Eventually, she would need to go out to buy supplies or do anything her human heart would desire. When it's done, when she's vulnerable again I would kill her. » Ayasha said with a grin before she turned around and faced her brother.

« Ayasha... I have been a bit harsh on you last time we spoke. » He began with, but she shook her head.

« I made a mistake, I wasn't paying enough attention. She made herself known and he found her in a heartbeat. I have to make sure he becomes oblivious again. » She said hugging the loincloth that covered her crotch. « Do you think we've made the right decision? »

« You dare ask that question again? » His voice turned into thunder, prompting the goddess to slightly bow in front of him to calm his nerves.

« I didn't mean to... I just.. I just miss my sister Ishtar... I miss her and I wonder if she's suffering, if she remembers us, if she would come back to us or if she's lost forever. » Her voice broke as she spoke. Indeed she missed Elpis and she's witnessed what a lack of Hope could induce in both the elder realm and the human realm. « I need her back. »

«...... » Ishtar pondered her words and then looked at his sister, his white hues glowing less. « I do miss her too. I am still angry at what she did and the fact she put us all in jeopardy with her romance. She had it coming, she refused to listen to reason. There is nothing good that could come from the SINS and she desecrated herself by falling in love and doing Gaea-knows-what with that filthy creature. »

« Ishtar! She was in love with him. He seemingly treated her well. How dare you talk about her in such terms? She fell in love with the wrong person, that was all. It's HIM we have to blame! It's HIM who took her away from us! »

« Of course it's him! » Ishtar's raspy voice boomed into the destroyed room. « I might be angry at Elpis, I still want to destroy the SINS, starting with him. He has to be destroyed! I will give you another assignment. » Ayasha nodded quickly, afraid of her brother's growing anger due to his hatred towards the SIN. « Find a way to destroy this abomination. All of us can be destroyed, even the SINS. We need to destroy him for good and once it's done, we can uncurse our sister. »

« Are you serious? We're just about to win our own war, why don't we recover f-- »

« DID I STUTTER AYASHA? » He shouted, making his sister shake and nod quickly.

« I will do as you request All-Father. »

Filled with remorse, she watched as her brother vanished and turned her body once again to face the fountain of Truth. She hit it again with her fists and screamed loudly, making the walls and floor shake as she unleashed her own frustration and anger. She would find a way to destroy the SIN, she would make sure Pride die and would make sure he suffers as much as she did from not seeing her sister. He took her away from them, he started that war of the elders because of extreme measures she had to take. He ruined her life and she wanted to make him pay. Furiously, she kept looking around the world for tracks to follow all the while summoning her minions.

« You called mistress? » -said one of them-

« Yes. I want you to go to the Underworld and spy on the SINS. I want to find their weak spots, I need to know how to destroy this vermin. » One of her minions swallowed a lump, clearly afraid.

« We.. we would be killed if we go there. They.. they won't leave us alone, mistress, we can't go to the Underworld. »

« Find a way! Otherwise, you would know why I am the most dangerous of the elder gods. I know everything, including how to torture you to the point you would wish you were dead instead. » She threatened as they disappeared. Ayasha was indeed dangerous, even more than Ishtar because she did know everything. The fiasco with Elpis was a cruel reminder that she needed to step up her game and be merciless if she wanted to achieve her goals. In a decaying pantheon and with the threat of being irrelevant and worse, dead, Ayasha needed to find the solution to the « SINS problem » and fast if she wanted a chance to survive.

(TBC)

Pride and Asma: Christmas banter

She insisted on celebrating Christmas. He didn't care much about the human holiday but he didn't want her to keep being snappy and upset. She was at her worst when she was upset. If it wasn't her constant need to fill the silence with her endless stream of questions and remarks, it was her sobbing in the confines of her bedroom or being irritatingly silent for days. The human didn't know how to balance herself but could he really blame her?

Her life turned for the worst the moment the entrapped deity within her broke her seal. Suddenly everyone became a threat to her life and if they weren't careful, she could die. Besides, she, a simple human being, was dealing with concepts and entities that went far beyond her comprehension and Pride was no exception. Celebrating Christmas now, was her last attempt at normalcy and her last attempt at trying to find peace in all this chaos. He refused at first but the more she insisted, the less he went against her wishes.

When Pride did something, he committed to it until it was the best version that could possibly be. Call it a flaw of character or a quirk, but the entity went overboard. He decorated the house, made it look as if it was home and witnessed the change in the painter's face. It lit up, much to his relief. She ran to the kitchen, started to cook something that he didn't care about because he didn't need to eat to sustain himself. He watched her walk back and forth from her bedroom to the kitchen and decided to wait and drink bourbon. She was energized beyond his understanding and most of her efforts were made in order to impress him. She foolishly wanted him to "feel" Christmas and understand how important it was for her but he couldn't. He simply couldn't because he wasn't human, to begin with.

Surely, once she was done with the meals, she went upstairs one last time to change into a sexy red dress that made her look almost divine. Sure, she couldn't come close to his Elpis in regards of her beauty since the other was a goddess, but she was as close as a mortal could be and he appreciated it. She, on the other hand, felt it was a dream came true. A princess Christmas as she finally was able to celebrate it with someone instead of at home with her dog. She was able to be on her A game with the only fancy dress she could grab when they packed the first time. She wanted to throw pixie dust in his eyes and seduce the Sin.

Was he influencing her? probably, he was Pride after all. Did she feel any regret for trying to seduce a creature that wasn't even hers, to begin with? she did, but her remorse was blown away by his sight. She was puny and mortal and their adventures might end up with her death so why would she shy away from what her heart desired? The meal started well, it was polite and decent until Asma tried to "open his eyes and heart". Being human, a scared one at that, made Asma unable to take her distance with the situation. She wanted to force her human beliefs and views and feelings on a creature that couldn't think or feel like a human. Concepts such as love and compassion and selflessness were lost on him but it was frustrating the painter who really wanted to force her mind on him.

Was it him influencing her or her true nature? Maybe both. Frustrated and upset, Asma immediately went Diva on him. Yes, she was in love with him, yes she was scared of him and of what future held in store for them. Yes she wanted him to see her, love her the way she did and yes she didn't understand what he truly was. And they began to argue and the dinner was ruined just like that, with a snap of fingers. He tried to reason her. Yes, Pride tried to reason the human of the foolishness of her feelings for him. He tried to warn her that the more she would give, the more he would take. but Asma didn't listen. She was stubborn, maybe more than Pride himself was.

"I'll give everything to you then. I won't need you to give back to me. I just want to give you my love." She selfishly said to him. Because it was a feeling she couldn't contain within herself anymore. it was grandiose, like a typhoon. It was brutal and impossible to control. her love was devastating her and devastating him in the process.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into." He tried to warn her.

Because she would give and give and give and he would take until there was nothing left of her. She knew, deep inside, that it would end badly for her but she decided to write the narrative at her convenience. It wouldn't be him taking from her, it would be her giving everything to him. It would be her choice, it would be her way to go. She already knew he would leave her once Elpis would be free. She already knew it was a battle she lost even before it began. She already knew that her frail form couldn't handle his true form because he was glorious and lethal at the same time; She knew all of that, but she fell in love with the sweet and kind sides he showed towards her. She fell in love with the Hope he induced in her heart and the thrills of the life they were living together. She fell in love with him because, in the midst of fire and death that surrounded her, she felt alive for the first time.

"I don't care." She replied with hand on his cheek as she pressed her lips against his. Come what may, she would sail this ship.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS 2016

Art by my good friend Lelia:) it's a tradition for her, she calls it Santa Thong, and since she started it, I liked it so much I decided to do spread the love using exclusively images from her series.

Of course, I would begin with wishing all of you happy holidays. Those include anything and everything you would celebrate from now up until the 1^st of January.

2016 was such a strange year for me, both fulfilling in some ways and distressing in others. As I reflect upon the days spent, I realize that maybe this year is the one I « felt » alive the most. Truth be told, I sometimes wish I didn't feel as much and as intensely as I do because I always end up being an emotional trainwreck. It has its perks though and I believe that without those perks, I wouldn't have known how to finish this year. It's in itself, a miracle that I am still standing and still going. It is. Those of you who know, know what I am talking about and I am very grateful for having you in my life. That's it, this year (like the other years ahah ) I'll be talking about my gratitude for having such a beautiful support in my life.

Losing Magz to suicide this year had me reflect on my very own journey with the demons we share/d together. « Thanatos » (as I call it), Anxiety, Depression. It made me think of the decisions I made, the commitment to these, the fact I became more open about talking about these, especially to close friends (my support system really, along with my sisters <3) was the best decision I have ever made. I do /not/ feel ashamed anymore, although it still is something I would not talk about /that / much. And if I don't, I really owe it to my rolemodels who are survivors just like me and keep on fighting and living their lives as they should be. Seeing them being so open about their own lives truly inspired me and keep on fueling my own strength when I'm lacking of it. Thank you beautiful people for speaking up for/to me at a time I was hiding everything to myself. Thank you for guiding me through realizing I needed the right kind of help. Thank you for making me feel normal and loved and proud. Thank /you/. Can you believe, I am even able to articulate my emotions and express them when needed and although it's not happening 100%, it's still a major step forward from where I used to be before. I can't thank enough my other lovelies, for having been the loving shoulders, the warm hands and the soothing souls they've been with me. I can't thank you enough for your support and love, especially those who walk me through my episodes, those who witness my meltdowns and those who singlehandedly silenced my demons and believed in me.

Speaking of those who believe in me, I gotta say, creatively this year was a big bang of some sort ! Here I am finally writing that book, sharing a bit more of my writings and writing process and sketching here and there whenever I can. You're the reason I didn't stop, every encouraging words, inboxes, pm, texts.. every request, every compliment and praise are fueling my motivation. You know how fleeting it is, especially in my condition and yet this year I kept on pushing myself. It was not just because I was able to find the motivation, but when I lost it, you were there <3 I got to meet several people I hold very dear in my heart and strengthened my relationship with my friends in the biz. We don't know what tomorow holds for us but I am very sure, next year I would not let those efforts and trust be in vain. I really appreciate your curiousity and concern and presence in my life. Thank you my creative people for being who you are and for bringing the best out of me regarding my art.

Speaking of bringing the best. 2016 was a dreadful year, one has to admit. It was tougher for me because, like most of the time, I found myself in distress in the face of the world. I'm probably scarred due to past trauma, violent human beings who poisoned my life for years but since I was a child, I never thought people were inherently good. I believe(d) we have to work very hard to be a good person and yes we do. We do because it's so very easy to slip into the darkest corners of our souls. So this year more than other years seemed like people gave up or maybe gave into their darkest instincts. I am fortunate really, to have very optimistic people who were able to restore Hope into my heart and helped me pull myself together through their inspiring words. I saw people acting humane, showing compassion, defending those in need. I saw people who didn't close their hearts and minds. I saw people who were aware of our History as human beings and don't want the bad events to repeat again. I saw people wanting an actual change and a real joint work to help the world be a better place. I saw all of that in the last 4 months of this year and it sincerely helped me smoothly start again. So yes, I consider myself lucky to have these wonderful people in my life who do their best at their own scale to be decent human beings and who keep me motivated to actually wake up (literally speaking) every day and trust again. I am really trying to do the very same, around me, as much as possible ! Thank you for being this inspiring.

Finally 2016 was definitely a year of love. Why finish with love ? Because it all starts with love. I keep saying everyday that I am left speechless at how unalduterated and genuine and powerful the love I receive is. Not just from my old pals, but also the new ones. It just is ! It clicks really well and I couldn't have been happier for this ! Your love means everything for me. It's healing me, it's fueling me with strength and power and I really wish I do give it back to you. Look at you now, most of you are married (for those who are), engaged (for those who are) and/or successful in their job, at a happier place this year than the last, have kids (for those who do), have fulfilled their dreams, are in great healthy relationships and of course, have dreams for the year to come, plans, aspirations and of course new steps ahead of them. I wish you to have everything you desire my dears, everything your hearts ever want. I love you when you are happy and would always want you to be, because you're deserving, you know that ? You're deserving so much good in your life. I know you're working hard to get there and I sincerely hope you will all live the lives you want to.

As of me ? If anything, 2016 taught me I actually didn't have a blackened heart and am still very capable of loving with every fiber of my body;) My friend Louise keep talking about helping me find my Wolverine Ahaha (You don't need to Lou) but it's a touuuugh job though, but it's not impossible anymore since I think I can safely admit I wouldn't mind trying.

TO 2017 ! May it bring you all you ever wanted. May it be a safe year for you and of course, may it be the year I actually meet my Wolverine (I'm joking ! I'm joking ! But really, may it be a good year ! I'm hoping it would be for all of us)

I love you

HAPPY HOLIDAYS <3 <3