I want to give up. It's been a very rough summer for me. especially June and August. I can't stand my face today, I don't even want to pay attention to it. I feel ugly and there are times when I feel okay. I don't understand. I don't understand why I even wanted to cosplay my character while there are others who can do it even better than me. Look at that waste of space and skin I am.....
I have zero costumes done, I shall be sewing them or have them sewn BUT I want to lose weight before, my vanity is this important. I want to be in a shape that makes me feel comfortable. but I haven't been to the gym for basically 2 full months. it's too much. I'm even skipping this first few days of October after having said I would want to.
Why can't I keep up my own promises?
Why is it so hard?
Why am I falling apart?
I don't want to give up though, I want to keep going. I need to cosplay. I bought the tickets anyway. Why spoil my fun? maybe it's because I'll be alone on that day? who cares? why should I care? it's for my own fun, I bought the tickets for god's sake.
I don't want to give up
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