Pride belongs to my friend Nate, Asma belongs to me and the whole plot is my idea!
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She lit a cigarette, one of many she would smoke on that day.
It was a nasty habit she successfully got rid of until he came into her life.
He stormed into it, wrecked it to the point that not so much was left behind.
Her life would end. It was plain and simple.
Her life would end so another one can exist. Another one that SHOULD exist.
It suddenly became clear, that there was a missing feeling all these years
One nobody could put their fingers on or even conceptualize: Hope.
There was a taste of fatality in this world, where everything was either written in stone, either not.
But always it had to happen when it had to happen. There was no Hope.
It suddenly became clear why: it was entrapped within her core.
To set it free, give back to mankind Hope, she would have to sacrifice herself.
It would have to come from deep within her, a selfless act, an act of love to break the seal.
Asma didn't know if she was ready to die, not so young, not when nothing was done.
She could hardly believe that it would be it and she would be no more. It couldn't be done.
But at the same time, her death would be noble, it would benefit everyone. It was bigger than her.
It was even worse!
She was scared but pretended she wasn't. She didn't feel like dying so soon when nothing happened.
She had always been alone in her private life, secretive, scared of the world and its pains.
She never got to live anything if it wasn't her passion and the people connected to it.
She painted, she sketched and she exhibited her work, but barely if not rarely engaged with others.
How could she die, when nobody was there at home? When nobody would mourn for her death?
It made her realize how little she lived and how little she actually mattered.
All of a sudden, her life was put into perspective and she realized she hadn't had enough of it.
Would she die so the entity inhabiting her would exist again? Yes, she would, eventually... maybe?
Would she die so the one before she would finally be able to hold his beloved in his arms? Maybe ?
She wasn't a bad soul, she would help him get what he wants, but maybe before she would enjoy life
Maybe before she would leave her print on Earth, make herself relevant.
How to tell that to a SIN? How to explain without him getting annoyed by her trivial needs?
How could she express her fears and disgust and sadness to someone who didn't care?
She didn't know and couldn't say, so she would smoke and contemplate her life and future.
She would sit and smoke and think of all the things she never got to do or dared to dream about
She would sit and smoke and maybe cry for all the lives she'd never have.
Or maybe she would tell him and they'd figure out a way to make it happen.
Or maybe she would tell him...
If only
If only......
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