Doya : A bullet to the heart.

Doya: A bullet to the heart.

A/N: Just a little moment between Joshua and Oya, during a case they worked together.

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« Your burgers. »

Oya came back to the motel room they were renting and threw Joshua his burgers. The brunet caught the two sandwiches and unwrapped them. He took two bullets on his chest, a day ago, and was recovering from the wounds. Oya got lucky with only deep cuts on her right leg she nursed the same night she took bullets out of Joshua's chest. As she was in better shape than he was, she was on burgers duty and came back with a bag full of junk food. Joshua seemed to be doing pretty well, given the circumstances. He was even smiling which intrigued the young woman who sat on the chair next to his and unwrapped her burgers.

« What's the smile for? »

«Ah... Stephanie. That's why I'm smiling. She texted me a pic of the twins she's babysitting right now and I couldn't help but think that maybe, it could be us in the future. »

« Say what? You want kids? » Oya furrowed her brows and tilted her head to the side. Joshua had never been the type who wanted to commit seriously. The girlfriend experience was the most he actually ever did. Much to her surprise, his relationship with Stephanie quickly became serious, especially since she was aware of his real job and was extremely supportive of him. He was the one who nearly fucked up when he let her go, out of fear of losing her.

« Someday....I'd be a great dad I think. » He said with a grin before Oya's serious face cut him short. He had never seen her look at him with eyes this stern, except maybe, when he was about to lose Stephanie for good.

« It's serious business here, Josh. Kids... There's no coming back from having kids. You'll have to step up, make sure they have a future, make sure they would know you love them every fucking day. It's a life sentence if you get a kid. »

« I know, I know! » He said, groaning loudly as he took another bite of his burger. « But I'm ready. I'm not like you Oya. You would overthink and it'll kill your every move. I do, I just do it and see what happens next. » He said with a grin. Oya blushed and looked down at the table.

« Shut the fuck up... » -But he was right, she did overthink and it sometimes froze her in place or had her react in ways that weren't warranted.- « I can't just jump head first into a situation I do not know shit about, » she said, furrowing her brows and then relaxing. « But....if that's what you want, then I want you to have it. » She finally said, clearing her throat as she realized she might have been giving him a little heart attack.

« You sure 'bout this? » She nodded and took a sip of her coke. « Oya, don't fuck with me this time. I've been thinking about it for quite some time now. I want to be a dad, I want to be there for my kids like pops were for me. » She nodded and leaned her cheek against her warm palm.

« Kids are a gift, Josh. Not everyone was blessed with the ability to carry them or the chance to adopt any. » She trailed off, stuffing her face with burgers again. Joshua's face became a little softer and he gently stroked her hand. Oya gave him a soft smile and took another sip of her coke. « I'm okay, I promise. » -Truth be told, she still had regrets of this life she would never be able to lead.-

She refused to blame herself for trying to save a human life. She had to drink that potion, she had to go save this life and while it deprived her of a brighter future, it also was the first step towards Dean. If none of this would have happened, she wouldn't have met Dean, Sam, and Castiel. Yet, she did have nightmares, where her guilt manifested in the form of her « sacrificed children ». One she should have had with Fabrice, the other she should have had with Dean. Both were pointing fingers at her, covered with blood as if she had killed them, It was a sight she wished she never had and guilt she wished she didn't carry, but it was what it was and her nightmares never truly left her alone. Oya rolled her head and ran her free hand through her thick locks. There was no doubt in her head that she was happy with the way her life was now. She enjoyed being with Dean, she enjoyed hunting with him and spending most of their time together. Both had led lives peppered with regrets and loss. Both went through enough misery to add another regret to the list. Kids were off the table for the two of them. Dean had his two children and he had to deal with the guilt he felt for leaving them behind. Oya could never have any and she had to live with the guilt of being the instrument of her predicament. Yet, they found peace with each other, when they were together. Where was he?

« You're still thinking about Dean? » Joshua asked, as he finished his first burger. « You haven't heard from him since your last text? »

« Yeah...I haven't. The last thing I know is that he's with Sam and they're okay... I just...we haven't seen each other for a while that's all... »

« You're missing him. » the brunet said with a grin. Oya rolled her eyes and ran her hand over her face. He wasn't wrong. She did miss the older Winchester. It had been months since the two of them had actually spent some quality time together. Dean was always on the road with Sam and the two of them weren't exactly talkative. Oya trusted them and their ability to win over any issues that could come their way.

« Have you ever...Between you and me, if something ever happens to Dean, it would feel like a bullet to my heart. I would never be able to... » The words didn't want to come out. The idea of losing him was too much to handle so she froze and bit her bottom lip.

« It's okay. I get it. You don't have to say anything. » -He said with a grin before he squeezed Oya's hand tighter.- « I'm sure he's fine. »

« I hope he is. If he's in trouble again, I'll find him, save him, and then kick his butt for being in trouble without me. » She chuckled before she dropped her head. « I can't lose him, Josh...I can't... »

« You won't. »

His words felt like empty promises. She knew he couldn't make sure a claim and keep his word but understood that he was trying to comfort her, so she let him. She gave him a tight smile, despite her eyes quickly filling themselves with unshed tears and nodded quietly. He was right, she wouldn't lose Dean. She wouldn't lose her heart. Everything was fine.

-TBC-