I love you

« I love you » such wonderful words,

So much easier to say than to receive.

« I love you. » Is probably the most intense thing one can ever say to someone else,

The most powerful when it's really meant.

I never had trouble expressing my feelings

Never had an issue saying « I love you » to my friends and family.

Never had an issue saying it to the men I was desperately in love with.

It rolls easily on the tongue, and it relieves your heart from a heavy burden.

It's terrifying yet it's surprisingly easy to do.

« I love you. ».. « I am in love with you. »

You give your love, you expose your heart and of course, you wish not to get hurt

Sometimes it happens without anyone really wanting it, sometimes it's meant to destroy you.

The rejection that is... it's part of everything, isn't it? That one bit you can't control.

I got used to it, to the idea of it I think. It didn't happen that much to me but I saw it around.

Rejection... « I do not love you » or « I don't love you the same way »

Should it prevent us from trying to say such words? No, of course not.

Life has always been about being hurt or hurting people, even when you don't mean it at all.

It's also about finding peace and bonding with others. How you bond, however, is only up to you.

Rejection shouldn't be feared, it's only part of the process that life is. It's OKAY.

Maybe this could explain why I am so comfortable with saying I love you.

The only thing I am certain in a relationship is about how I feel, how I truly feel.

Only I can tell if I love or not someone if I am willing to expose myself or not

Only I have to decide, this is what I like about being the one who says the words.

I never really know how they feel. I sometimes can see it, especially when they protect me

I can see it when they trust me, I can feel it when they hug me.

I just can't seem to hear it when they say it. I'm not used to people « saying » things.

I'm not used to hearing the « I love you » sentence and when I do, I'm confused and scared.

What scares me so much about listening to someone say « I love you » to me?

It becomes real. It becomes palatable and as soon as it's real, then there's a risk for me to lose it.

Until I hear someone claim their love for me, I still believe I have to earn it and prove myself.

I am working hard to make sure I will be worthy of listening to these precious words

but when they are said, then tomorrow this love can be taken back from me.

I don't want it. I fear it. I avoid it... I am scared.

What could I possibly do without their love?

I can be my own person, I know I would be able to build myself back and move on... but darling, aren't they precious enough for me to want our relationship to last forever? Aren't they?

Maybe this can also explain why I was found speechless when Steve claimed his love for me.

It became too real and this love I couldn't have expected, this love could end tomorrow.

It didn't, but our story paused more than once each time becoming more painful than the last.

I didn't want it to happen anymore and yet here we are, about to get married.

I have thought of it several times, I even literally ran away from both the X-men and the Avengers

I ran away because I couldn't handle it. A wedding? How real this relationship could be?

He would be mine and I would be his, forever tangled in the ribbon of life and love.

We would become one before everyone to see, for the very reasons of my existence.

It is big. It is scary.... it is Worth everything.

« I love you Steve Rogers » and will take the risk to lose you again because this undying love I have for you, will always be there inside of me and inside of you.

« I love you »