Hi,
I am very moved to write this article and would try to keep my trail of thoughts coherent. I have always been fascinated with the world of cosplay. i have always been impressed with people who were able to to make wonderful cosplays and seemed to have a lot of fun with it. I have always dreamed of cosplaying my favorite character which is Storm from X-men. I never really knew how they made it nor the time really dedicated to a costume but I did know it was time and money consuming.
I couldn't have been more right.
A year ago, a friend told me that I would look great as my character Asma Jensen. I couldn't see myself cosplay my character mostly because I felt very shy. I am very self-conscious about my body. Thing is, I don't care about what people say about me, I had it all already, especially between my 19 and my 23. I was bullied at school, mostly by so-called friends because I wasn't the right size. (I grew bigger because of some health issues and gave up so much/fast that, junk food became comfort food) I don't care anymore about what others might say about me, but I do care about how I see myself.
And I don't love myself, inside of and out.
Still, that doesn't change the fact that I am very shy. I wouldn't have imagined myself put on a costume, let alone look confident while wearing my costume because let's face it, Asma is a freaking tank! she is very tall, (at least, taller than me) with LONG shapely toned legs (that I don't have), huge pink mane (that I obviously don't have either), perfect smooth skin (you guessed right), I don't even have her eye colour :p (but hey, I have already written in former stories and old roleplays that sometimes, she uses special lenses/contact to cover up her odd eyes.) and I don't have her smooth uni-color skin tone XD ahahah basically.. I don't look like Asma but I feel like her. It has nothing to do with the fact I am her creator or the fact some people would think she is a self-insert. SHE is NOT.
Asma is the embodiment of hope, the Elder goddess of it to be precise.
She is a woman, a complex one. She can be strong (physically and figuratively), she can be weak at times, she can be fragile, she is dedicated to her job, she is a real badass and a tank. She is someone a lot melancholic and yet she can be like a sun in the life of many. She is my Hope.
She is my baby, my inspiration at times, she is something I am crafting and working on but she ultimately is giving me hope and helps me handle the shit I have to deal with every single freaking day. she is all of that, but she is love.
So here's my point: of course, I would ADORE seeing other people's take on my character no matter who they are (but please, no blackface), I would feel flattered if she could reach out to people and touch their souls, I promise I would work harder on her even more :)
but this is my thing right now, this is really for me. This is about me getting the confidence to love and accept my body the way it is. This is about me trying to see how cosplaying is, this is me trying my hardest to become my own character and have fun while doing it :)
I am not going to become a "cosplayer" per say, this is really just a first attempt. :D if it works, maybe I should go as Storm :D
We don't know, but please, I hope you will bear with me talking to you about my cosplays :)
with love,
Kaedegirl
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