Longing

Longing, It had never happened before. The sense of dread that never quite left her mind. The princess wasn't dreading the fight, it was encountering the knight that pulled her nerves on a knot. She refused to see him die. She refused to watch as life would leave his body or see him mistreated if they spared him. She refused to lose him. /lose/ such a wild notion. A powerful word. Lord Jaime never was "hers" to begin with. He was Cersei's and the princess knew that. Her whole body knew that Jaime Lannister's body mind and soul belonged to the usurper. And YET.... she still felt that she lost him. She longed for his presence again. The late night conversations where they discussed the world and life in general. The banters, him making her nervous by being so close to her. She acted like a virgin when in truth she was not. No... she acted like a woman who felt strongly for another human being. Her heart was broken at the thought that maybe the only person in whole Westeros to have ever understood her would perish soon. It horrified her... She found herself caught in a dream made of lace and kisses. Dreams of feeling the knights flesh against hers. Dreams of having him conquer her land, discover mounds and crevices, eliciting moans from her, genuine pleasured moans she never uttered in her whole life. She was longing for her touch on his skin. The happy quiet mornings where she would let her hands heal his invisible wounds. Where she would make him smile, a genuine smile and would have him feel safe and seen... longing... she was longing for a cruel fantasy. An impossible dream that only made her realize that it better be the end of War. What did she know of feelings if not the tales Missandei told her and the reality she saw with Jon and Dany? What did she know of love if not the pinch she felt in her heart, whenever she thought of Lord Jaime? Or the Tears she cried when Lady Kyra mentioned the love Jaime had for Cersei. Lord Tyrion warned her, Lord Varys advised against feelings but her heart was rebellious. The only solution she had was to kill these and bury them deep. Bury and ignore until Daenerys sat on the throne. Bury and help her sister fulfill her destiny. Yes, Bury... LONG... Bury