(SoA) Longing

(SoA) Longing

There's never worse than being in the dark. I've already voiced my concern about the whereabouts of my family. How is Jax going to survive? What is Alex doing? would he come back to me? Where is Jessica and why hasn't she answered my calls and texts? Nobody is here to answer me, Opie, Brad, I don't know where they are. The girls? The girls can't tell me shit because they know shit. All I have is tv and the terrifying news of people going missing, people dying, cars burning and mayhem tearing cities apart. All I hear is about violence and death...you'd say it's not really comforting and you'd be right. it's not.

I knew what I signed for, Alex reminded me a few days ago. I knew there would be nights where I would dread the next day because I could find out they died when I was asleep. I knew there would be days where I would be crying because I didn't know where my beloved is. I'm suffocating, my guts are churning, my blood is boiling because I don't know. I never know. Papa said I shouldn't have mingled with criminals, and I think that in his wisdom, he knew there would be horrible nights, painful nights ahead where my head would be spinning, and my heart would be breaking. He knew I would be scared because I'm this close to losing the love I so hardly earned. the happiness I so hardly fought for. The life I built. and I don't know... I never know....shit!