Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Bäahal and Jaime : I will always love you.

/All the usual disclaimers

"I thought I was going to die during the siege. Yet, the last thing I had in mind was you. You were my last thought, my only thought. I know I said I wanted you to be happy. I know I told you that I wanted you to find someone who truly loved you and saw you for who you really were. I told you how upset I was that Cersei poisoned you and the way you saw yourself. She didn't love you. I'd argue she never did.

I know I confessed my feelings for you at Highgarden and I know you didn't want them. I know my heart broke at this very moment because I didn't know what to do with myself. oh, it broke my heart to know you didn't want me. I know I'm not Cersei and I never will be. I don't want to be her, I never will. I want to be ./me/ and I want you.. well, I wished you could love me as I did. But you don't. you won't.

It took me a while to accept this, it will take me forever to keep my feelings to myself because when I see you, I want to hold you. When I see you, I can feel my heartbeat go faster, I can feel it soar. My face lit up, a smile crosses my lips, I only want to be by your side. I know I said you were my friend, back when you brought me to Casterly Rock and I meant my words.

But, as tenacious as I can be sometimes, my feelings are as well. As stubborn as I can be sometimes, my love for you is as well. I can't unlove young, Lord Jaime. I can't un-desire you as well. and I can't not want to be with you. But we're friends... and by your own words, it's all we can ever be. so, I'll keep on wanting the best for you and wanting to see you happy because it's all I want. All I ever will."

No comments:

Post a Comment