Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life and Death of Ishtar: Motivation

 

Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life and Death of Ishtar: Motivation

 

A/N: My poor Ishtar, so guilt-ridden. He spoke to me, so I gave him space.

 

xxxxx

 

The All-New-Father’s chambers, 11h15 pm, Primeval god’s pantheon:

 

Lonely, the New All-father was feeling lonely that night. Ishtar was laying on his bed, the fine drapes of his sheets were nonchalantly thrown upon his massive figure. His long black hair was cascading on his chest and the fresh air in the room had his skin covered in goosebumps. He watched the ceiling, only lightened by the moonlight and giving his room a blue tint and thought to himself that perhaps, adding a fresh company could warm up the cold atmosphere. His chambers were cold, despite the rich décor that surrounded him. His chambers were cold ever since Elpis betrayed them.

 

 Nothing could have ever happened anyway. As far as he remembered, Elpis only bore fraternal feelings towards him, yet he still held onto the feeling to this day, hoping that somehow, someway, the goddess would see that her relationship with Pride was a dead-end and would come back to him. Love and desire prevented him from killing the love of his life but what good did it do to him? What did it bring Ishtar if not pain and misery? The Elpis he knew died on the day he stabbed her, cursing her into an eternal cycle of reincarnation. The sweet, soft and innocent creature he’d known had vanished from the moment he had betrayed her, and the brunet knew that nothing could fix their relationship.

 

Yet, he surprised himself with his hallucinations and constant daydreams about what could have been. Despite Ayasha and her (so-called) claims of falling in love with him, despite those carnal moments they both shared, nothing could compare to the illusions of the goddess of Hope and Light coming at him at any moment of the day, especially at night. On a night like this one, the sweet comfort felt by the presence of the pink-haired goddess was enough for the New All-Father. She was by his side, laid on her back and staring at the ceiling just like him. His black orbs set upon her and he watched her body, lit by the bright moonlight that made her skin glow.  He wanted to touch her, he wished for her to be real and real-enough she felt.  A soft chuckle crossed her plump lips and slowly she climbed on top of him, sitting her soft body on his lap. It elicited a moan from the god who quickly sat on the bed and rested against the wall.

 

“Elpis…” -He cupped her cheek and started to stroke the soft skin of hers. “I curse the day you met the Sin. I curse the day he took him away from me.”

 

“What are you talking about? I am right here, with you.” -Her voice, similar to the real goddess, almost to a fault. The line was blurred between reality and the illusion and for a brief second, the god thought it was her- “Perhaps you should focus on me instead of your curses.” She gave him a soft smile and slowly leaned into his warm palm. She pressed her lips to his skin and then went to his wrist. -

 

“You’re not real…. You…” -He paused for a minute- “would you have chosen me if I were to confess my true feelings for you before you met the Sin?” -His voice was filled with regret and his black orbs averted from her face to her chest. She was wearing little to nothing, the flimsy fabric of a pink nightgown covered her curves.  His eyes undressed her and then as a shiver possessed his spine, the god kept his hand on her neck, holding her firmly in place. She didn’t escape him.

 

“I would have, and deep down, I think you know that brother-mine. /I/ was the closest to you. We always were together, working hand in hand on battlefields. I would have been yours if you’d claimed me when you had the chance to.”  -The words he wished she had told him still hurt like knives. Listening to the goddess made him groan in pain, for he knew those weren’t really her words but his-

 

“I knew it. You wanted to be with me and I didn’t let you.” He started to whine and blame himself for this lie he’s been feeding his mind. He had no idea if whether or not she would have been with him – no he knew she wouldn’t have chosen him- but he still liked to imagine things to be the way he wished them to be.

 

“Why do you always complain when you see me?” The illusion asked, much to the shock of the New All-Father. “Don’t look at me with such a surprised look. Whenever I am here, it is always for moping and crying.”

 

“I still feel guilty over what I did to you, Elpis.” -He admitted, while his other hand slid underneath her nightgown. She grabbed him by the neck, squeezing it tightly while her eyes turned into golden pools.-

 

“Pathetic.” -She whispered to him while her hips started to rock against his lap. It elicited a groan from the god as he felt a shiver run down his spine. -

 

How many times had he dreamed of this? Of his sister riding him and taking him deep into her wet and warm cunt? How many times had he wished he could mate with his sibling? Flashes of their passionate romp filled his dreams, the sound of her voice saying un-holy words in his ear as he fucked her hard. How many times did he imagine her fingers sink into the hard skin of his shoulders, only to leave a trail of blood as she would scratch him until he bled? He would have been tender, loving, enjoying the softness and roundness of her curves while his lips would taste the delicate skin of her neck. He would have been a savage and would have fucked her into numbness. He would see her sweaty glistening body glow under the moonlight and the smile on her face. Oh, the smile, that smile... A sudden rush of adrenaline and arousal took over him and he grabbed the illusion’s neck back, forcing her to drop her arms on each side of her body and still look at him with a judgmental gaze.

 

“Not so insulting now, are you?” -He quipped, a grin on his lips-

 

“Finally! you cut the gentle brother’s act. You spent millennia wailing on your own for the loss of me, torturing yourself because you cursed me and took away your last chance at ever being loved by me. You’re here today, still overwhelmed with guilt and lust for me, dreading the day you would have to fight me.”

 

“Enough!” -Her words hurt even more. He refused to admit to himself that he dreaded the day Elpis and the Sin would come to the pantheon. -

 

“You dread the moment you will see me again because instead of lust and love in my eyes, you will read disgust and contempt. You will read hatred. you will read your end.”

 

“Enough!” -His voice boomed all over the place, making the walls shake as his red aura slowly spread across the room. -

 

The illusion vanished and Ishtar was left on his own in the cold room of the royal chambers.  His breathing was laboured, his chest heaved up and down slowly and he looked at the emptiness before him. Just a minute ago there had been Elpis in his room, the only time she’s ever been there. Just a minute ago she was riding him, teasing the god with her sensuality and then hurting him with her venom. He knew it was his own conscience that was talking through the illusion. It was his own heart that thought so little of him, his own mind that wanted him to get his comeuppance. Could it be that guilt had nested into his heart?

 

He stood up and flicked his wrist. A red energy coming from him spread across the room and destroyed some of the furniture inside. As the wooden night desk crumbled into small pieces, Ishtar stood up in a hurry. His long black locks cascaded on his back, the sheet fell onto the floor and the god, in all of his glory, stood with his hands curled into fists. It had to stop, the illusions, the guilt, the love. It had to stop and in order to make this happen, the New All-Father would have to kill Elpis with his own bare hands, but could he?

 

-TBC-