"Alex is right. I chose this life. I knew from the very start that we would have had our grey areas, we would fight because I would be left in the dark and would learn what happened on the news on at funerals. Shit! I should have thought this through. I always said that I was ready, that nothing could scare me and here I am, a scared little shit, pulling the hair off of my head because I was afraid of what could come next.
Yeah, what would come next? Jail-time? Jax is in jail but what prevents the others from being jailed too? Death? That's what I fear the most. You can survive Jail, no matter how crushing it is... no matter what. But Death? there is no coming back from Death and way too many of her loved ones could end up dead. Where was Jessica? Since the moment she had a "plan", there was no sight of the chocolate-haired red queen. Where could she be? I am sick, worried sick about this whole situation. The news is packed with bad news. the mayhem that shakes Charming and the neighboring towns. my clients are whispering but I am not able to decipher their babble. Something is in the air and I know it's Jessica's doing.
I also know it's because the King is not there. Enemies around think that because the head is locked up, that the rest of the body can't function? Fools... assholes.... rats... I am running out of words to describe those people, those who threaten my family. All I know is that everyone is out there, risking their lives and nothing, nothing is left for me to do except maybe protect the kids. Nothing is left for me, except maybe fear. I have a bad feeling in my guts. I can't shake it off. I'm worriedly looking around and expecting Alex to not to come, or Jessica to be dead. Right now, the fact they are not even aware of what I did -sneaking up to the Niners to ask for help and being beaten up-, is not even crossing my mind. Alex knows, but we have more pressing matters to take care of.
Right now...I just hope they will come home, all of them, alive and well.... right now...Fuck my life...
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