Doya: on edge

 Doya: On Edge.

// I miss them.

Oya sat at the edge of the bed, both hands sunk into the thick black curly mane of hers. She was upset, worried... no… Terrified! Perhaps it was a gut feeling, perhaps it was all in her head, but the hunter knew something was up. Her nightmares were shredding her mind and filled her head with dread. Hadn’t she seen Death already? Hadn’t she witnessed slaughters and experienced loss already? Yes, she did! But she wasn’t numb to it. She wasn’t immune to Fear, especially when it came to the people she loved. Her eyes shifted from left to right as she was desperate to find answers to questions, she hadn’t even formed in her mind yet. There was a shift in the air, something was brewing in the darkness and no it wasn’t /just/ the pagan god Pluto who was gathering his strength and growing in power.

It was also Rowena the Witch who was the only magical support they could get. It was Crowley, the King of Hell, who was a backstabbing bitch -but what did Dean say again? Oh, he was their bitch. Team Free Will knew his schemes and could handle him-. It was what happened to Joshua Thomas who was so savagely attacked that he couldn’t be on the field anymore. His last hunt left him paralyzed and torn apart and it was dumb luck that had him survive. It was the fact Dean had been more reckless during their last hunt and she couldn’t put her finger on what exactly drove him to act like this. He was upset but he didn’t want her to know about it just yet.

It was the fact Sam and Castiel barely gave the news. No texts, no calls, no nothing. She couldn’t lose them. She couldn’t lose her family again. Oya felt it, her guts tied in a tight knot at the thought that her world was crumbling. Everything would be lost to the wrath of a god and the betrayal of their allies. All would be lost to her inability to save people. What were her hands good at again? Oh yes, they could kill… They knew how to kill. They craved hunting so they could take lives. Save lives? Don’t lie to yourself Oya. The only thing you could do with lives was to take them. You’re excellent at taking.

You’re excellent at ruining everything. You’re excellent at losing everything. How could you possibly think that this happy life of yours would remain? How could you naively think that they would be immortal? That they could love you forever? That you wouldn’t be alone, or afraid anymore? You love. You love so much that you will feel everything. You will lose everything. Oh... those thoughts again! They came back, stressing the hunter out, making it so that she couldn’t do otherwise but cry. Silent tears, soundless sobs…just pure pain and fear tangled together. Just pure pain and Fear, the hunter’s way.