Arthur made a choice. He could have left for California with Linda after they believed he was dead. He would have been given a new identity, and he would have been able to start over and raise his son. He would have been able to put his guilt for the deaths of both John and Grace, aside. but he couldn't. He couldn't leave. He wanted to stay with his family, keep an eye on Tommy and protect his little (and remaining brother). He wanted to watch after Mary and ensure her safety because she was the only thing that kept Tommy from consuming himself. Arthur made a choice, and despite his love for Linda and his devotion to her religion, deep down, Arthur was unable to keep away from his old ways. He was a man shaped by violence, molded by Death, and unable to cope without drugs and sex.
Mary asked him, once, why he felt compelled to cheat on his wife. She wanted to understand his behavior and gave him a chance to think things through and find an explanation for his actions. What did he tell her? What could he tell her? Arthur assumed that he couldn't help but self-sabotage. He couldn't handle being with a loving and devoted woman like Linda. According to Mary, Arthur refused to see her for who she really was and instead put her on a pedestal. Deep down, he knew that Linda wasn't perfect, but she managed to help him get sober. She managed to help him get back on his feet! She gave him a son! So in his book, Linda was perfect! She saw the good in him despite what his hands were capable of. She saw the good in him despite his tendency to try and escape reality. Still... He made a choice.
Arthur made a choice and he was having a hard time staying sober. Mary was helping him, as a nurse, but also as a friend and a member of the family. She cared for him when no one would -except maybe Ada- and he appreciated it more than words could tell. While Mary was ensuring he was slowly being weaned off the drug, Arthur held onto her hand and set his blue eyes upon her green ones. He was feverish but conscious enough to let her know that he was grateful for her. He was conscious enough to tell her that he didn't deserve her care and she should just leave him. Upon her refusal to do so, Arthur ended up sobbing, asking for forgiveness, and begging Mary to stay by his side. "Don't leave me, Mary. Please. Don't leave me... Don't leave Tommy. He needs you. he won't say it but he needs you, Mary." She smiled at him and ran her hand over his hair. "Hush Hush....Arthur, I'm not leaving you. I'm not leaving any of you... Rest Arthur...I'm here."
-TBC-
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