Sam Winchester x Oya: he loves her.

[Sam Winchester xOya -their friendship-

Take anything and you can turn it into a habit whether you like it or not. Take anyone and you could somehow accommodate their presence in your life, whether you like them or not. Sam disliked Crowley to say the very least of it but he managed to accept the weird relationship he had with the King-not king-king again of Hell. Maybe he got used to him like someone gets used to a tumor or maybe he had seen worse than what Crowley could do to him to actually start and care about him. Either way, it brought his thoughts back to Oya. Oya was...She was quite Something. He still remembered when they met her for the first time. She was hunting vampires and got herself into a very powerful nest that nearly killed her. Fortunately for the hunter, the Winchesters had been working the case and found the nest right in time to save her from a certain death. The fact she stubbornly refused to let them clean the place on their own and stubbornly fought by their side was both mesmerizing and unnerving so of course, they argued once the vampires all died. He liked her spunk, the no-bullshit personality, and the bossy attitude. Strong enough to make them comply without too much resistance -unless the topic was serious or personal- but tolerable for both of them.

It happened without him really coming to a realization that she was in his life. At times Sam even rejected the idea that someone new, someone who could die like so many of them did before, was living with them. It felt like "Charlie" all over again with Oya. Of course, they were very different. Charlie was bright and positive, and a real piece of Sunshine. She was that annoying little sister he didn't think he wanted to have. She loved hunting and took it as an adventure or a quest since she was a big geek. And she died a hero, protecting the book of the damned from those Dangerous nazis the best she could. Of all the deaths Sam witnessed, he didn't take Charlie's very well. If anything, he shut himself down completely, refusing to add another victim to the list of those he already lost. Her death was unfair, losing her was unfair and much like Bobby's death, Charlie's hurt deeply the younger Winchester.Oya.. she didn't give them much choice. She was already there. She has damaged already, clearly so. He could tell she held grudges Against Angels and that she was traumatized by a past she barely shared with them and yet was fascinating in the way she experienced being a hunter. She came from a different country in another continent where hunters weren't forced to the crappy life Sam and his brother had to endure. She also, despite the oddities of her behavior (he noticed how she acted when she was having a Panic Attack and when she was really pissed off. he noticed the violence that sometimes burst out of her like she was possessed by a demon but she never hurt an innocent, except maybe with her words.)

She was a piece of work, just like they both were.But one who was maybe less emotionally constipated than he was. She had a terrible poker face, couldn't lie to any of the brothers even when she tried to. There was this quality about her, the raw honesty that Drew Sam towards her. He trusted Oya because even when she screwed up, she owned it. maybe too much. She pretended she was tough and badass and couldn't feel anything or didn't care but she cared, maybe too much, maybe not enough.. maybe in between and unlike any of the brothers, she said it. She was intense, she was true, she had her heart up to her sleeve and went out of her ways to protect the siblings. "keeping them together because they had each other" as she'd say. He would always correct her and let her know that she had her place in this big family of theirs. (big if you count how big an angel could be.) and that they didn't need another guardian angel to keep Sam and Dean together. He wanted Oya to feel at home when he was there, to feel cared for.. to feel like she mattered. Because you see, she did. Sam realized that morning, that after more than a year spent by her sides, he genuinely loved Oya and let her in like he did with Charlie. He let her in enough to argue with her about trivial things such as her thinking they all had hardships with spitting the Truth but she at least tried to be honest with how she felt and didn't understand why they would reject her openness. He liked her enough to let her text him every day to check on him and make sure he was okay. He liked her enough to let her buy him books about spells or the music of Vince Vincente and make a big deal out of it, even if it wasn't the way he preferred things to be. He liked her enough to fill in the role of his older brother and bring her comfort and peace at night with cuddles when Dean wasn't home.

He loved Oya. like a sister. But Sam refused to acknowledge that because he didn't want to be hurt again. He could very much lose this reckless stubborn strong head given how much she loved taking risks and often came back injured and without notice. She felt compelled to sacrifice herself to save his or Dean's life because she valued them more than hers and therefore could hurt herself much more easily. He had to protect her too and hope she was alright when they weren't together. Sam loved her and he would hurt the first person who would try and hurt Oya, or put her life in danger. So with her laid on his lap as she fell asleep in front of the tv, he ran his hand through her hair, massaging her scalp for a while as he drank a glass of scotch and he ended up sighing. Here he was again, ready to get heartbroken again.

But he loved her.
Like the sister, he had lost once.
Like Charlie, but in his very own way.
Damnit!