A/ N: Because we all need a daily dose of sadness and morbid and because I haven't written Oya having nightmares for a long while, here you are.
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«Oya? Come over, I have pancakes for you! »
It started like a normal dream. Dream!Dean's voice would echo through the walls as he would call Oya's name to join him for breakfast. She would wake up with his shirt on, like usual, and would walk towards the kitchen. It would be a bright Sunday, always a Sunday. On her way to the kitchen, she would meet Dream!Sam walking away with a pancake in his mouth, ready to go to the archives for some research. She would finally meet with Dream!Dean who would be wearing one of her corny ugly aprons she brought from her trip out of states. The apron was never the same -she bought a lot of them-, which never had her suspect she was in a dream. Dream!Dean would put the plate of freshly made pancakes in front of her for her to eat, with a smile. He would wrap his hand around her neck and pull her into a kiss. This was a routine, one of those she already had in real life. Dean would always make her breakfast -mostly because Oya was a disaster in the kitchen and he did like making breakfast- before they went to work.
It started like a normal dream. Oya would ramble about her last solo case and how much she kicked ass. She would talk about her body still recovering from her last fight but how excited she was to go work with him.Usually, Dream!Dean would just sit down in front of her and would smile as she would ramble. Usually, he would do something sweet, something that would make her melt inside and swoon over Dean. It always changed from dream to dream but it always was something she couldn't resist in real life. Like his smile, for example, his chuckle or his corny jokes. Oya liked every little thing about Dean, from the way he was looking at her, with his intense green eyes when they were working together and he was thinking of a strategy. Or the way he was fighting the monsters they were hunting. There was a nice combination of strength and skills she admired and if she wasn't busy fighting her own monsters, she would watch him all day. Oya liked when Dean was showing he cared for her with little gestures such as wearing her pendant, or her aprons because he knew it would make her smile. Usually, it would be sweet, if it was a dream.
But it wasn't. As soon as Oya took her plate and pushed it towards her, she lifted her head and noticed Dream!Dean had vanished. Her heart skipped a beat as fear started to creep into her mind. The colors faded, turning the world into several shades of grey. Oya covered her mouth, as she began to realize that something was wrong. She called for Dean but he didn't answer. She pushed her plate of pancakes and started to search the kitchen for him but didn't find him. Oya fingers started to clench and unclench like they always did when she was starting to panic. She went to the archives room but there was no Dream!Sam there. Her eyes started to blink uncontrollably. She left the room and ran towards the war room. Her legs seemed to be heavier than usual so it took forever before she finally arrived at the war room.
«Sam? Dean? » -She called, her voice breaking each time she said their name- « Sam ?... Dean ??.. » She called again, her eyes scanning the room as she walked further into it. She saw Dream!Dean's shoes at the end of the table and tried to sprint to him but couldn't. It just felt like gravity was stronger the closer she was to him. « Dean ???.. Dean.. please... Please... »
If there was a fear Oya had, aside from being rejected by the Winchesters, was for them to die. She feared that because they came to know her, she would end up killing them the way her loved ones died. It was this irrational fear of losing someone you cared about that crippled her and would have done just about anything to protect them. It was the irrational fear of witnessing their deaths by the hand of an enemy of hers that churned at her guts and kept her awake at night. A world without the Winchesters wasn't a world she wanted to live in. -even if she would eventually still keep doing their job- They became more than just friends with her, they became family. The concept might have been blurry for some people, it was crystal clear for Oya. She would move mountains if that could bring back her family, she would sign a pact with Lucifer if that could free Sam from his guilt and trauma. She would do anything to keep the brothers alive so they could still live in a world where one another are still together. She was willing to lose her very life if that meant saving these two. Saving Dean.
Being rejected was one thing, she could live with that. It would alienate her from the very idea of allowing people in her heart but she could live with that. At least they would still be alive. Most of her dreams were about being thrown out of the circle and pushed away by Sam, Dean, and Castiel because she wasn't worthy of their attention, and care... and love. Most of these ended up with Oya waking up screaming and kicking but always Dean was here. He would hold her in his arms, calm her fears with his voice. Always, she would wake up to him and he would make her fears vanish with his mere presence. But when Dean wasn't home, when the bed was empty, then came the nightmares about their deaths. As she suspected, it was Dean's bloody body. Oya screamed at the sight of his beaten-up face. She knelt next to him and grabbed his head by the neck.
« No no no no no nonono... Dean... Dean, please. Please... » She sat on her heels and started to rock his body, screaming and looking around for help. She tried to call for help but her lips refused to say anything but the same words, over and over again. Her chest was soiled with his blood, her fingers soaked in his crimson essence. She leaned her cheek against his and started to sob. He couldn't be dead. He couldn't be dead! « Dean.. please, don't leave me alone. Don't leave me... » She said, once she was able to catch her breath. Oya screamed again as she realized that Dream!Dean's body was disappearing. She panicked and started to yell. « Don't leave me! Don't... Don't leave me! Fuck! Dean! Please !! Pl-Please! » She tried everything, held onto his clothes, held onto his face, but his body vanished. She held onto him as much as she could but he still vanished, which meant her efforts were useless... Her life was useless, everyone would end up dying. Oya recoiled in horror at the empty space in front of her, the pool of blood still on the floor. She pulled her legs up, against her chest and started to rock her body in order to calm herself. It wasn't real, Dean wasn't dead. Sam didn't disappear. Castiel wasn't out of reach. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't r---
She woke up alone, in a scream that echoed through the walls of Dean's room. She held onto the sheets of the bed and looked down at her sweaty belly and legs. She touched her face and looked at her fingers to make sure she had a nightmare. Oya was shaking from head to toe, her jaw was clenched, her eyes were wet and filled with unshed tears. As soon as she was certain it was just a bad dream, Oya exhaled and dropped her shoulders. She looked down at her hands again and started to chuckle, from relief. It lasted only a minute because she ended up crying again. It felt too real. For a minute, she thought Dean was actually dead and her world was torn upside down and as she woke up, his absence became even worse to handle. He wasn't there, she was alone. She was alone...
...And shaken to the core.
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