// All the usual disclaimers
Bäahal was still shaking as she slammed the door of Tyrion's private quarter behind her. Her fingers barely held onto her daggers as she walked away from him. Her long silver locks waved as she hastily escaped from the castle to rush to the stairs with the formidable view. There, she had enough space to breathe and could focus on the flying dragons or the calm sea rather than her thoughts. As soon as the fresh salty scent of the sea tickled her nostrils, Bäahal slowed down. She looked around herself and sighed in relief that nobody seemed to be around.
Fragments of her conversation with Tyrion echoed through her mind. She could still see him sitting at his desk with a glass of wine in his hand and his piercing blue eyes staring at her. He was a cornered animal, one who knew that there was little to no chance for him to be listened to if Daenerys kept allowing Jon Snow in her heart. Tyrion wasn't blind, he could tell there was an attraction between the king of Ice and the Queen of Fire and Tyrion knew that an attraction like this if nurtured could mean he would not be relevant to the queen anymore. it was threatening despite Jon being oblivious to the consequences of his presence. Jon was a good man with a good heart. Tyrion genuinely respected him but he couldn't possibly ignore himself in the process.
And Bäahal was aware of it. She saw clearly through Tyrion's bravado. He went through many hardships that at some point, almost claimed his life several times. While he wasn't a slave because of his blood, Tyrion's entire existence was akin to a slave's. He was a prisoner of his desire to be considered a legitimate member of his family. He was a prisoner of his thirst for love and acknowledgment from his siblings. He was a prisoner of his desire to mean something and he did find a meaning of his life in the presence of Daenerys. She gave him a purpose, she cleansed him of his past deeds. He was reborn, he was anew and this fragile balance he succeeded in finding when they were ruling Mereen, suddenly collapsed at the mere presence of Jon. So he had to make his move, he had to out Bäahal and reveal her true identity to Daenerys.
"You had no right to tell Daenerys about my lineage. You had no right to rob me of this moment." -The half-breed said to Tyrion, both her hands still on the table since she had stabbed it with her dagger.-
"I had every right to inform my queen about the people who are around her. You, of all people, should know that the best relationships are based on trust and you weren't being honest with her." -He scoffed at her-
"Speak for yourself. I was a nobody when you all found me. I was a slave. Do you think that having a last name would change anything?" -She meant her words and so much so that it sounded like she had just laid her heart on the table. Tyrion noticed she was too angry to notice it.-
" You are angry, Bäahal. Your anger is lingering on the surface, ready to explode. You also are very difficult to read and I needed to.."-He was cut short by Bäahal who grabbed the dagger that was on the table, slowly pushing it out of the hole she created-
"You are afraid that your fear is targeting the wrong person. You are afraid that Jon Snow takes away Daenerys from you. Maybe you should have addressed that instead of interfering in stories that aren't yours." - And she left the room, running as fast as she could from this man and his biting tongue.-
Thinking of this conversation sent shivers down her spine. The outcome might have been in her favor; with Daenerys cautiously embracing this sibling and giving her a Last name she could rightfully claim; It didn't sit right with the half-breed. She didn't know what to do with the last name: Targaryen. She didn't feel like earning a name. After all, she was the product of the rape of an albino slave by the hand of Aerys II. She was the result of violence. Her mother was brave enough to forgive her daughter for the sin of her father but that guilt and rage and sorrow was carried over her shoulders anyway. Shame for being the unwanted reject of an unloved and insane King. Shame for enduring the dehumanizing tortures of her masters while her spirit dreamed of freedom. Shame and anger for having been deprived of a decent life, of having her mother executed when she tried to save her life, of being unable to connect to people..of her growing feelings for the King of the North while her sister was also growing feelings.
It was blinding her. Being free that was. She could be called "Lady", she was treated with a respect she had never witnessed before. She was finally seen. It was strange, even for the one who had seen everything and Bäahal the resilient didn't know how to handle everything. What could she do? Jon asked her what was her true desire when he found her at this exact spot moons ago. He asked her what /she/ truly wanted and Bäahal was unable to come up with an honest answer. She said she wanted Daenerys to reign on the seven kingdoms and she was honest when she said so, but this wasn't her true desire. It was by default because she had never taken the time to think about herself, for herself/ She was used to serving others and she chose to serve her sister. It was a no-brainer and yet, Jon's question broke Bäahal... because she realized there was nothing about her she could say. She had desired freedom and she had obtained it. It never occurred to her to think of what would come next and it was terrifying.
Tyrion stole her the right to come out as a Targaryen half-breed when she chose to disclose this information to the queen and it hurt. It hurt even more than any flesh wounds and torture she ever had to endure. She felt exposed in ways she had no before and the looks in both Jon and Daenerys faces were enough to make her want to bury herself in the ocean. Shame... it was shame and guilt, mixed with the fear of losing this newly acquired family. Dany chose otherwise, which was a relief. Bäahal felt the cold wind blow on her face and before she knew, some tears rolled down her ebony cheeks. She had been holding them back for so long that she didn't realize she was crying until after she cried some tears. She suddenly remembered the conversation she had with the Stark. How gentle he was when he addressed her. How considerate of her humanity he was when he called her "lady" rather than use familiarities. She still remembered his face, the face of an honest man like she had rarely seen. She could still feel the warmth of his hand as he touched her shoulder in an attempt to calm her. His scent that lingered on her for hours before she bathed. His dark curls, his worried crease in the middle of his face and the way he chuckled when she was teasing him. She knew her heart was feeling something she had never felt before and it worried her that her own selfish desires might clash with her sister's and who was she to deny Daenerys the joy of being loved like she would certainly love Jon? Who was she to interfere? she, who was a nobody.. a slave.. a thing.
Everything was confusing for her but the only thing she was sure of was her urge to survive. She still didn't feel at peace and knew that she wasn't done fighting.
-TBC-
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