Thursday, November 25, 2021

Witchy hour - feelings

 She was a hurricane in hiding. Always having to check her emotions so she wouldn’t have power slips and put others in danger. The witch had emotions, lots of them and when she felt something she felt it deeply. Eternity sometimes did it. Immortals pretended they didn’t feel anything while in reality they were overloaded with them. They pretended they didn’t care and perhaps to some extent they didn’t. Perhaps what was trivial meant even less for them and perhaps they grew used to death and to murder but they felt. They felt a lot of things. 


Asma forbade herself to feel anything for others yet she failed. She failed because one or maybe more people would crack her walls and she would welcome them. She grew attached to some over the centuries, tending to their very needs or helping them with their issues and internal turmoils. She wailed in distress when they betrayed her or tried to hurt her upon finding the truth -her truth-. She took hard their deaths even when age claimed them and it was time to go. She took even harder the budding romantic feelings she felt for Elijah and he never reciprocated. 



Rejection. She’d known it for most of her life and sometimes even wondered if it had to do with her curse or if she’d experience it regardless. 


Heartbreak. Her curse was not the reason Elijah didn’t look at her. She simply wasn’t enough for him. She wasn’t Hayley, or Katherine. She wasn’t the great women he met so long ago and never will be. Klaus spelled it for her, she was a tool and nothing more. She was hidden and to be used only when needed. Not a lover and even less a friend. She took that hard. Felt unworthy, felt disposable and unwanted. Even the only person who shared her company didn’t consider her as worthy enough to be mentioned. 


Asma felt and her shop suffered from it. She felt and kept to her heart. She felt and cried herself to sleep or lost herself in alcohol. She was a witch, she has feelings and since she also was cursed with immortality, she was to feel until her last breath, at the mercy of whoever would kill her since Time wouldn’t do it. How pathetic! 

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