A/N: All the usual disclaimers. I just thought of that very sweet moment between the two, because Asma really does love her Jess and she's overwhelmed.
xxx xxx xxx
« Alright! So Nix has the Emergency baby bag in case You or Jax forget to bring yours. I have the Emergency baby bag number 2 and I asked Lyla to make one too in case I can't make it to the hospital. »
Asma was pacing around, excited since she learned the due date. It was just a matter of days now and everyone but Jessica was nervous. They all ran different possible ways this day could unfold and tried to be prepared for anything. She was very cute, wearing a large yellow sweater with batman thighs and black socks. Jessica was wearing a large red dress and black pregnant women thighs to keep herself warm. The dogs were playing around, pacing with Asma as she walked around before they crouched on the floor next to her as she stood still. She was excited, after so many months following Jessica's pregnancy, Asma couldn't stay in place. Now that she had the chance to meet the princess. She smiled widely, unable to stop herself. Jessica was amused at the sight of her friend who was overexcited about the upcoming birth.
« Thank you, Asma. » Jessica said with a soft voice. She was rubbing her belly, already impatient to meet her little girl. « I think everyone is going to have an emergency baby bag. »
« You don't know that... » Asma grinned at her sister and then nodded quietly. « Actually, word might have been to get ready in case any of us had a problem. I also prepared your mommy bag. Because you won't be discharged on the first day, I brought you your favourite magazines, some games to entertain your mind, your tablet in case you wanted to keep in touch...And on D-Day, I'll get you your favourite drink at the coffee shop. »
« Ahahah you got me covered. »
Jessica laughed and kept rubbing her belly. She was serene, maybe too much for a soon-to-be mom, but Jessica was just pacing herself. She bottled up her worries and buried them deep inside of her, knowing that now wasn't the time to panic. She might not even panic at all and deliver that baby like she would go on a mission. Delivering her daughter wasn't the part she dreaded the most, no, that was like a walk in the park – In her line of work, she had to take bullets, be tortured like nobody could ever imagine. So, she wasn't dreading the potential pain. She wasn't dreading the moment she would hold her girl in her arms. She wasn't dreading the moment she would hear her cries, or feel her against her chest. No. Those were moments she was looking forward to experiencing. What she dreaded..was the realization that it happened and she was thrown full force into the unknown. She didn't know how her mind would react to it. Some mothers experienced post-partum depression, others simply had regrets of their past lives and wanted to make things better and inevitably put too much pressure on themselves. Jessica tried to have faith that she had seen it all already and knew better. She knew better than to panic.
Asma nodded and then gently knelt on the floor, near the couch and sat on her heels. She entwined her fingers with Jessica's and smiled broadly at her sister. She had so much to say and so little time. Her eyes were full of life and so warm that it made Jessica chuckle softly. That face, that beautiful face was about to make a speech like only Asma knew. So Jessica tilted her head to the side, allowing her chocolate locks to fall onto her chest and smiled at the pink haired lady.
« Jess. »
« Go ahead. I'm all ears! I'm all ears. » She said, holding Asma's hand as well. They looked at each other and the tattoo artist grinned at the brunette. She put their entwined hands against her forehead and planted a gentle kiss.
« Okay... Okay... I know that I'm new in your life. »
« Two years isn't /that/ new. You feel as if I've been knowing you forever. » She said, gently tightening her grip on Asma's hand. The ebony woman grinned at Jessica and glanced at their hands joined together. « You feel like family...So don't say that you're new. »
« It's only been two years... » Asma pouted.
« Two years is an eternity. » Jessica said with a reassuring smile on her lips. She wanted Asma to feel the way she felt about her. She loved the young woman, took her in as a sister and really wanted to make her feel as if she belonged in her life. «Go ahead Asma, please. Don't leave me hanging. Tell me what you have to say. »
« Okay... Okay.. uh...I wanted to say that... Soon enough you will have a little girl and you will hold her in your arms and you will kiss her forehead. Suddenly, your world would become bigger and somehow...I wanted to say. I wanted to say that I am happy to be part of your world. I didn't think I could be...And yet... And yet I am. » She said, her lips trembling as Asma was struggling with her tears. She didn't want to cry them but she still did. Her vision was blurred out by the tears and she ended up wiping them out. Jessica felt emotional as well and smiled at her friend with tears in her eyes. « I am scared... I want this little girl to know that she can count on me too. I want to tell her that Aunt Asma has her back and would make sure nobody hurts her...I want to protect her from what I experienced and make the world a better place for her. » She said, looking back at Jessica. She lowered her head and avoided to make eye contact with Jessica. « I want to be good to her Jesica. I want to be there... »
« You'll be there. Of course, you'll be! » Jessica said, pulling Asma towards her so she could give her a hug. She felt the tattoo artist wrap her arms around her waist and lay her head against her heavy chest. « Of course dummy. You will be there and watch her grow. Haven't you seen all the efforts you've made? You're sober and kicking ass. You're gorgeous, happy... Are you happy, Asma? »
« I am happy...I never thought I could be. I am... I have a family... I have friends...I have a man who treats me good, a niece about to be born. I am not annoyed anymore by those racist idiots. I am good. I'm in a good place. » She said wiping her tears off of her face. « I just don't want to disappoint. »
« You're not disappointing me... And if you fall, remember, you'll get right back up and we'll wait for you. We always will... Now now, don't cry Azz. Don't cry. Please. » She said as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand. « Please... Don't cry. Fuck... » She shut her eyes tight, making Asma chuckle and pull away from her.
« We're always crying. » Asma said, grinning from ear to ear as she cleaned her face with the back of her hand. « We're always, ALWAYS, crying. »
« That's because of your speeches. You always have big speeches and you always cry and I don't know how not to cry when I see your face. » Jessica said, cupping Asma's cheek. « Now, cheer me up! »
« Did I tell you when Tig took me last time we went on a date? » Jessica shook her head and tapped the couch with her toes. « Okay. I gotta tell you. »
And they spent the afternoon eating biscuits and drinking tea and soda. They laughed and chuckled until Jessica fell asleep and Asma curled into a ball against the couch, waiting for Jax and the boys to come home so they could quietly wake them up and have dinner. It was a perfect afternoon.
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