Who is she?

I lost a girl who I once knew,
Not really understanding how and why it happened.
I always hear about her, from people who she once knew
But I forgot everything about this girl, I lost her.
Me... I lost myself.

I am the girl of that story, the one everyone knows a piece of.
I am the girl of that story, the one who got lost over the years.
Could it be that growing up made me lose that girl? Could it be?
I highly doubt, because when I look deeper into it, I realize that I don't know.
This girl, I never knew her.

Who is she?

I realized that I never knew her. As far as I can remember, there's nothing about her that stands out.
She was there, she existed, but she always was just a mist, nothing tangible, nothing real.
She was whoever others wanted her to be, she moulded herself after someone else's desire.
This girl wanted to be loved, to be accepted, she felt so inadequate that she tried to erase everything.
But that's the irony of it, there was nothing, to begin with.

Who is she?

I wept a lot for this girl I don't know.
I look at all the things she could have been but never was.
I look at all the hardships she had to overcome, just to make herself a place under the sun.
I look at her tears and her anger, I still feel the shivers she got because she felt empty inside.
I lost this girl. I lost her. And I have tried to find her again.
But I can't. She never was, to begin with, she just can't be.

Who is she?

There is only one way to go from now. It is forward.
I will move forward, reinvent myself in the process and I have been doing just that over the years.
Gliding through life, jumping from one trauma to another, destroying and rebuilding everything.
I did that! I reinvented myself, for every piece of me people took with them was nothing but a facet.
I'm a diamond. That's what I am. I shine too hard, I can't break that easily, I'm the hardest that is.

I am a diamond.

That's who she is. That's who I am. I have many facets, as many as there can be. I am complex.
I have to be worked on, over and over again until finally, I can reveal myself, my true shiny self.
I am a diamond, there's nothing else that I can be. Life knocked me out so many times but look at me.
I'm still here... I'm still here... I exist! I reinvent myself and live another life as my new me.
Yet I still need to know who that girl was and if I have truly lost her. Truth is... I haven't.
I have never lost her. I clawed my way through the dark, cut myself a piece of the sun.
I am still alive and kicking, alive and breathing, alive and trying. I simply am.

I never lost her, but I never took the time to know her. This girl. Me.
Now I have just started to unpack everything and by Gaea, she's a badass!
I'm a badass.

I'm a diamond.