soa: Keep an eye on him for me.

(Soa): Keep an eye on him for me.

"Keep an eye on him for me", Jessica told me before she left. I told her I would, it was an easy task after all. I would look after him the way I looked after the kids. At least, I thought it would unfold like this. It wasn't the first time she went on a job or the first time I had to babysit the kids and ensure her man was doing fine. Jax usually handled her absence pretty well, so I expected things to go smoothly as usual. I didn't know what was going on, I didn't pick up that something was wrong. Maybe it was in the way she said it, maybe it was in the way we said goodbye. On a lie...

She texted me hours after she left Charming and I didn't think twice about it because that meant she was okay. We exchanged texts up until she stopped texting me back. I didn't mind at first until days turned into weeks and weeks turned into a month. She wasn't home, she didn't give updates, she didn't text back and I knew in my bones that something was wrong. I already knew it, when I spent the week at her place after mom died, that she was hiding something. I didn't need to wait too long to confirm my intuition was right.

If it wasn't for the kids and the way they were crying after their mother more than usual, I wouldn't have known. I would have assumed it was business as usual, she was out like she always did. Abel and Thomas knew when their mothers went on a "trip" because she always said goodbye to them. They would complain of course, but they knew she'd come back because she said so. This time, they seemed lost and confused... and afraid. It was a pretty big dead giveaway. The biggest, however, was Jax. Asma didn't need to look too hard into it to know that something was fucked up. Jax was unhinged, under pressure, he didn't sleep. His eyes were puffed out, red veins betrayed his anxiety. His beard was scruffier than usual, some would say, unkept. He was angry. The King of Charming had always had a temper, he was known for that, but this anger had a different flavor: He was worried.

He was upset, he felt betrayed and confused just like his kids. He walked in circles in his office and I could see how sensitive he was to anything happening around. He never yelled at me or threatened me, but he was exhausted and colder than usual. That was how I could tell. Then I heard stories of some fisticuffs happening here and there, and I heard his voice raised hell to whoever he was talking to. Even Tig wasn't his usual self. Something happened and they were in the dark, I was in the dark. "Keep an eye on him for me," Jessica said and suddenly I realized that the tone was different. It carried sadness and guilt, it carried something uncertain about tomorrow, it felt like a definite goodbye. I couldn't panic. I would panic if I allowed herself to, but I had some responsibility. I had Jax and the kids and eventually Tig's well-being to ensure, protect, preserve and so far, I was doing a lousy job. At least with Jax.

"Hey...Jax.." I tried to say, one night I was staying home with the kids. "I trust she will come back," I said, in the most determined and confident tone I could have. I had to trust Jessica will come back, because if she didn't...If she didn't...