GoT: I miss him

"Can I confide in your Missandei, with the assurance you are not going to repeat my words to my sister?"

The silver princess averted her purple eyes from the wall to her best friend who was staring at her with her big brown eyes wide open. She was worried for Bäahal ever since Lord Jaime left and went back to Cersei. It was to be expected, the princess was overwhelmed with emotions she couldn't really understand. Missandei didn't think much of the Lannisters. She got along well with Lady Kyra and looked after her needs as requested by the queen but she didn't grow attached to the siblings. Her relationship with Lord Tyrion, at times, was stretched thin, especially when he was stubborn about the way to govern Mereen in the absence of the queen. He earned her respect and he learned how to respectfully addressed Missandei better. She was used to men like Jaime, men of honour, "good men" who would do their duties and keep their words despite being the enemy still. She was used to a more complex game that Bäahal had just entered. Perhaps these were the benefits she got from her position as a slave, which was vastly different from Bäahal who was just a trophy exhibited for all to see.

"You can, your grace. I'm all ears."

"You know you don't have to "grace" me, Dei. I need a friend, not a servant." She bit her bottom lip and shifted on her bed to face Missandei better. "So, please. Call me by my name."

"Alright. I'm all ears." Missandei said, brushing the tips of the princess' hair.

"I would never admit to anyone but you...watching Lord Jaime leave hurt me more than I anticipated it would."

"Hurt you? How so?" Missandei stopped and looked at the young woman with eyes widely opened this time.

"I don't know. I-I don't know. I just know that I didn't want him to leave. I liked fighting by his side, I liked..."

"I thought you didn't like him, Bäahal. The only things you said about him were complaints. He was too harsh with you, he was cold, he was up in your face all the time.. how can you go from this to it hurts you to watch him leave?" She genuinely asked, confused as to why her friend was feeling this way.

"Raaah..I do not know!" Bäahal growled at her, pulling away from her friend's hands as she stood up. "Don't you think I've been trying to figure this out? I felt betrayed, despite knowing full well he was going to leave. I do not hate him. I do not!" She paced around the room, her hand frantically running into her white mane. Her purple eyes were still shifting from left to right.

"You must have an idea already. You have one but you're not willing to tell me. Why is that? Are you ashamed?" Missandei's voice became bolder and it made the princess stop.

"What are you talking about? Me? Ashamed? Of course not! I am not ashamed! I am..."

"Angry?"

"No."

"Jealous then?" -She lifted a brow, trying to poke around the beast with a stick and see what would awaken it.

"NO! I am not! Why is that, that Lord Tyrion and you seem to think that I fancy Lord Jaime! I do not fancy him!"

"Then why are you hurt?" Missandei asked, her hands on each side of her waist as she stood up as well to stop the princess from resuming her frantic pace.

"He saw me as just me. I wasn't a princess, I wasn't a pretty thing, I was just... me. There was no stupid protocol, not stupid big titles...there was nothing but the truth and I've never had a man treat me like this before."

"This is not true. Lord Tyrion respects you and treats you like a wo---"

"Like a piece of his chess game! that's how he treats me. That's how he has always treated me from the moment he discovered the truth about my lineage!"

"Fine...Let's say you're right. Lord Jon Snow treats you well. You cannot say he doesn't."

"I am Daenerys sister! Of course, he'd treat me with respect!"

"I cannot believe you! You were the one who talked our queen into listening to him. You were the first to trust him and his tales about the White Walker! He didn't have to treat you any different and yet he did treat you with respect!"

"Because he had an interest!" She pointed out. "Lord Jaime had none! his heart? it belongs to Cersei. His mind? it belongs to Cersei. he didn't have to have me convince my sister, we never discussed politics or strategy. Don't you see it? He had no interest in me...."

"And yet you're sad." Missandei pointed out, as she watched the princess' face drop her smile. She turned around so the handmaiden would not see the fluster on her cheeks and bit her bottom lip harder. "I know he's not the first good man I would ever meet or the last, but I am missing him and this is a feeling I don't know how to handle. That's all. I miss Lord Jaime but next time we meet, we'd have to kill the other. Can friendship be born on such tragic circumstances? I will fulfil my duty, should we meet. and I will kill him for my sister but it brings me distress.....I've never felt this way before and I don't know how to..."

She wiped away some tears and covered her mouth with her warm palm. Missandei sighed and gently came behind her, wrapping her warm arms around the frame of her friend and bringing her close to a comforting hug. There was nothing more to say, there was no more sound but the sobs of the young Targaryen.