Modern GoT : Lights on.

Modern GoT : Lights on.

Targaryen's palace gym, 11:30 pm.

Bäahal had just finished her routine and quickly slid on the floor to her sports bag that was at the corner. She sat on the floor, heavily breathing as she was trying to catch up and let her purple hues stare at the room. She ran her hand over her neck and tapped the top of her huge bun, just to make sure her hair was still in place. It was an immense gym, built by Aerys because he wanted his family to stay healthy and stay out of the public eye. He knew Bäahal loved to dance and built a room just for her, with enough privacy so the others wouldn't pry on her work and deride it. She would spend countless hours in this room, sweating, bleeding, and crying but it was her solace during the years that followed Aerys' death. Tonight was no exception as she danced herself to the point of bleeding from her feet.

She removed her shoes and grabbed the medical kit she kept in her bag. Focused, the silver-haired heiress cleaned her feet with alcohol, hissing at the sting she felt when she dabbed the light cotton disk. Frustrated, she groaned and resumed cleaning her feet more ferociously. When she danced, the ebony Targaryen felt free, and for the 20 minutes her new routine lasted, she almost forgot her life. She could only focus on her dance, on how she enjoyed the music she picked, and how free she was in this gym, where nobody could find her and judge her. Now that the music was gone and all that was left were her thoughts, the young woman felt lost. Bäahal had always been in her own company, for fuck sake, her family nicknamed her « Lonely » because of her step-mother. She had always had trouble bonding with others, mostly because they were afraid of her sister and brother. Most didn't want to deal with the sister of the cruel Viserys but also didn't want him to retaliate (little did they know he didn't care for Bäahal) so they stuck around, but it remained empty and shallow. Most eventually avoided her altogether, mostly because they were close to Daenerys -as in, close friends- and knew of Dany's complicated feelings for her sister. It was a lose-lose situation for her.

Fortunately, in the underground dance scene, she was able to make good friends, people who didn't know it was her because she used a black wig and wore sunglasses. They were able to respect her as a dancer and watch her dance. Valeria, a ballet-trained dancer, and runner of one of the most famous underground dance clubs was some sort of mentor for Bäahal. She was the only one who knew her true identity but decided to keep their relationship professional only. It was still something. She trained her, watched and reviewed her routines, taught her new movements. She was the closest of a friend, she could have asked for. Dancing in complete anonymity also gave her a sense of freedom, of pure joy and she was good at it, excellent even, but not perfect yet. However, as much as she was happy with her dance, she knew it wasn't enough. As a matter of fact, meeting Jaime forced her to admit that she wasn't very happy with the life she led and couldn't possibly always be sorry for being herself. Jaime met her and he didn't run away. He didn't want to change her and he certainly didn't judge her for being an out of wedlock kid, a product of a cheating heart with a woman who didn't ask for this.

Sunni loved Aerys II. She loved him with all her heart and had not planned to fall in love with him. She tried her best not to reconnect or continue once they did link up but failed. She failed so much she ended up getting pregnant with Bäahal. Yes, it was bad. A married man shouldn't be having an affair with someone else. Aerys played it really wrong and ended up hurting everyone in the process. He made Sunni a homewrecker. She was ready to raise her child alone, and did so for years yet... she couldn't refuse a father to see their child, so Aerys met Bäahal when she was born. He fell in love with his daughter and made sure he visited her often and watched her grow. Bäahal had tried to be mad at him, at both of them, and sincerely was for a few years upon learning the truth about her origins. Yet, love took over, love conquered it all. She loved both her parents, understood their feelings, wanted to make amends for them to his family. She was shunned for this, hated for this, mistreated for years and no matter how resilient, she was, Bäahal ended up thinking that perhaps, she shouldn't have been born. Perhaps, she should apologize for this.

So, dancing was her go-to when she wanted to forget. Dancing gave her meaning, a purpose, a reason to be alive. If she wasn't able to receive love, then she would still give it. Her heart was full of love she gave to people -even those who hated her -and yet couldn't get because they didn't want it. So she gave it to the family dogs: Drogon, Viserion and Rhaegal. While Viserion did die, she still had his brothers she could love fiercely. Yet, it wasn't enough. She was aware of it. Bäahal craved human interactions. She needed love. She dreamed of it. Her parents loved her, Rhaegar cared for her and she wanted to make friends. She loved what she was having with Jaime, regardless of what it was, it was the most connection she ever had with someone. She wanted more.

-TBC-