modern! Got: Sins of the Father

 

Got: Sins of the Father

// My dysfunctional family. <3 poor Bäahal, she clearly didn't ask for any of this, but perhaps a subtle change in the power dynamics could do something. 

“Bäahal ran, as always. She ran away from the wrath of her brother who couldn't stand to see her face and would lash out at her because she dared speak to him. The young woman fled the palace for the moment, unable to feel safe within its heavy walls. She let her feet drag her to the private Targaryen cemetery, and as if she'd memorized the number of steps needed to go to her father's grave, she found herself in front of Aery's last home. The sun was high in the sky, brightly shining above her but that didn't seem to be enough to dry the tears that were flooding on her face, nor did it prevent her from falling onto her knees before curling herself into a fetal position in front of her father's tombstone.

Viserys, as usual, couldn't stand the sight of her and was still irritated when Bäahal tried to befriend him. His knee-jerk reaction was to slap her face when she mentioned taking a stroll with the dogs together and going to her favorite coffee shop. He took offense with the casual tone in her voice and the genuine desire to talk to him. He took offense because he saw his father in her and because she kept trying to see what was good in him despite the horrors he made her go through and that didn't sit well with the “prince”. How could he forgive Aerys for destroying his family by having an affair with someone who wasn't in the family? He fell in love with a commoner, spawned a child, and broke his wife's heart. Sweet Rhaella fell sick and died because of Aerys because she felt betrayed twice. First with the affair and later with the child she had to raise. He traumatized his son, let him spiral freely into violence, and even had the audacity to die before his son could confront him. All that was left was Bäahal and by the seven gods did she look like him.

Bäahal had always been a sensitive child. She'd known from the very beginning that something was off. Her mother hid her tears well, but not enough for her child not to notice. Aerys did fall in love with someone he later abandoned because he had a family of his own. He condemned Sunni to a lonely life, with a child she had to raise. No matter how much she loved the child, she was a single mother. Bäahal recalled how torn her mother was at the idea of letting Aerys meet her. She recalled the heated arguments between the two of them, the screams, the hugs, the kisses, and the passion that transpired through their interaction, and that was understood by a child this young. She remembered the excruciating pain she felt, later on, when her father insisted on taking her to his family in order to raise her as a proper “heir” to the Targaryen empire, he was building. Her mother hated him for taking her child away from her, but she was grateful and hopeful that he would give her a better life than she could. And then she died suddenly, leaving her only child with just her father.

Bäahal had always been a sensitive child. She knew that her very existence caused problems around her. She could tell that her step-mother and siblings didn't want her around. It wasn't even personal, it wasn't her fault but her father's. She was the embodiment of his sins and none of them could stand to look at them. She was the living proof that Aerys cheated. It didn't matter if he fell in love or if he tried to be fair to everyone. From the moment he brought the kid to his family, he had destroyed everything he had built and while he gave his children as much love as possible, she could tell that he was unhappy with how things went. His last months on Earth were filled with regret and sadness. While Bäahal took him on his daily strolls, he kept apologizing for the way he treated her and the pain he caused to her and her mother. He kept telling her that he couldn't help himself but chose love instead of duty and that because of him several people had a miserable life. But no matter how many times he had apologized to Bäahal that didn't change the hatred others had for him.

That didn't change the pain he caused to his little one, nor did it alleviate the anger they all had towards him. Rhaegar and Bäahal forgave Aerys before Rhaegar died a horrible death. The eldest son of the family managed to accept Bäahal and saved her from her other brother's scorn. Bäahal nearly escaped one of Visery's angry tantrums that had him nearly beat her to death. It left a few scars on her back, where his metal boots pierced the skin but they softened over the years. He was so angry, so hurt and so were the others, and Bäahal was left in the middle of this hurricane, alone. This morning was nothing new to her. Viserys was like an open nerve, bleeding profusely and leading him to self-destruct -although, she did note that he had been doing good lately. Apart from the occasional smoke, he had been sober. Daenerys had all the weight of the world on her shoulder and was still hurting from the loss of her first husband...Bäahal, well, Bäahal needed the arms of her father around her, telling her that everything would be okay but he wasn't here anymore, he wasn't here.

“Perhaps, everything would have been simple if you didn't have me.” She sobbed but quickly shook her head because she didn't agree with her own words anymore. “No. you should have been better, father. You shouldn't have made me the scapegoat of your sins. You shouldn't have left me alone! But you know what? I'll show them that I can be happy. I'll show them that I can have a better life than this. I can love, I can be loved and I can be my own person. I will make a life of my own too... I promise you... I promise you, I will knock their walls up, I will break the cycle, I will save everyone starting with myself.” She sobbed, holding some dirt in her hands. Perhaps she would manage to do it, perhaps the connections she had would help her set herself straight. After all, she made friends. yes, they were the "enemies" but they were her friends. one of them was even more than just a friend, he was her Golden Lion.  perhaps her first sentiment was the right one but, either way, she was alive now and that was all that mattered.