They want to put you in a box. You have to look a certain way, have certain skills, and behave a certain way just so they can give you some attention. But even as you strip yourself naked to please them, you end up being further alienated when you're not straight-up used.
In another life, long before I met the Winchester, my former fiancé had his life figured out. He wanted me to be a certain way because he had plans and the moment I stopped conforming to his wishes, he threw me out of his life as if I meant nothing. For years I saw that man claim he loved me, claim I was everything he's ever needed. For years, I watched him plan his life, and tell me about his desires but never truly wanted to know mine. I was in love, I simply erased what I wanted because I thought I wanted what he wanted.
I didn't choose to lose the ability to bear a child. A mission did. A potion did. Helping save the life of an innocent child did. Ultimately, I would still drink that potion to save that child. I would still do it and it never changed who I was... except for him. I wasn't picture-perfect anymore so he threw me away. It took me a while to recover from this. I used to believe that I failed him. I used to believe that it was somehow my fault but after a while, I realized that it wasn't my fault. I am not a doll. I am me.
And if he didn't want me, then it was his loss.
I met someone who wanted me.
And I have to thank him for it!
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