"Do you want to know what scares me the most? it's not losing you. I /expect/ to lose you. I /expect/ this "thing" between us to end. I /expect/ a screw-up from me cause I am a mess. You said that the fact I stayed around you defied any logic, but for me, it's the fact you want me near that I don't understand. I am not afraid of losing you because of this very thing, I already know. Rejection, fear, sadness and all of that crap. No. What scares me the most is that you /accept/ me, that you /want/ me, that you /choose/ me. Because from this moment on, I don't know how it works. I don't know how to move forward from this. I don't know what to do next and it terrifies me. So.. so yeah, I am scared like shit, but I want us to be scared little shits together okay? I want to be scared of you..not scared of you.. of us... so. don't make it awkward already. Just.. say 'okay.' and we're good. we'll be good yeah?"
((if Oya is ever pushed over the edge, that's how I envision her spilling the beans. without actually saying 'I love you'. I'm saving this one for... someday ahahah #nevergonnahappen))
No comments:
Post a Comment