PrAsma: Kiss me

A/N: Today I was in need of a little levity and I noticed that I haven't written enough non-conflictual situations with my poor babies. They existed, those good moments between the two of them and they still exist, but I am not very good at telling those good bits:o Lou gave me a little push for today so this little sugary thing came out of it:D cause one way or another, she loves that bastard and he does give her enough reasons for her to keep on loving him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

« Stay still Pride. Just a couple minutes more and I'll be done with your portrait. Okay ? »

He was posing for her, at her request. She was able to grab hold onto him during a break he took from his Underworld business and decided that she wouldn't let go of him unless it was an urgent matter. Pride noticed how alive she was as if he'd lit up a flame once he got home. He didn't quite know the impact his absence had on the human and couldn't really appreciate the joyful behavior she displayed on his return, but he wasn't dense. She very obviously felt relieved when she was in his presence and the joy she displayed was genuine and heartfelt. He wasn't used to being greeted with such enthusiasm and without a hidden agenda. Asma was simple, she was relaxing. She was predictable to some extent. She never asked for more than she already had, for him to be next to her and sharing mundane activities so she wouldn't be driven mad by the imposed solitude due to her situation.

She never asked for more than his arms wrapped around her smaller human frame and for maybe his eyes to stare into hers. She knew what she had signed for from the very beginning. She knew she was standing in between a goddess and a deity but she didn't care and it probably had to do with him influencing her despite his best efforts to keep her the way she was. Asma grew feelings for him and owned them despite him not giving them back. He never said he loved her and she knew he couldn't because there was Elpis in between them. She knew he could never say them back because he couldn't understand her emotions or the human concept of feelings. He took.. and took.. and took until there was nothing left. He was vanity made flesh after all and she fed it to him.

Asma fed his ego, his vanity by loving him so much that there might be nothing left of her. She consumed herself with the cruel fire of love and one could ask her why she wanted to keep going despite him about to ruin her? How could she love a thing that posed as a man whose only purpose was to destroy mankind and the rest of the pantheon of gods? How could she? How could Elpis even? Such a bright goddess whose purpose was to bright light around her and yet who lost her ways for love. Asma didn't have the answer, but she knew that deep down, Pride was more than he posed as. She knew there was something inside of him worth loving. It wasn't just because of Elpis and the memories of them together she projected inside of her. It wasn't just because he saved her from a certain death. She felt it somewhere while staying with him, that there was something inside she could love and could at least appreciate her existence. She felt it so it must have been there and she chose to believe it was. He wasn't a « thing » or a « creature » in her eyes. He was him. He was someone she grew close to and she fell in love with. It didn't matter if he wasn't human, she could care less knowing he was from another world or a god. She wanted him, all of him.

« I am sitting still Asma. I have been for quite some time now, aren't you finished? »

« I am now.» She said with a soft smile on her lips before she put the brush aside and ran her hands over her pink locks. He watched as she stretched her limbs and walked towards him. She was done and probably had been done for quite some time already and simply wanted to keep him next to her for some time. He tilted his head to the side and let her come to him. Her hands stroked his shirt-clad chest while his fingers grabbed her waist. He was sitting on a high stool, towering the human even more but she didn't mind. Her eyes were intensely looking at him, at those majestic blue orbs that kept changing with his emotions. She learned how to decode them. She knew when they were filled with anger, with contempt and satisfaction or with lust. She knew when he was concerned about her or when he felt a sudden urge to be tender with her. Maybe tenderness was the most she could get from him and for the human who thought he would never look twice at her, it was quite the accomplishment. He cared and it was more than she could afford so of course, it gave her hope.

« Are you? » His infamous grin crept on his lips, making her heart melt and her knees weak. Asma nodded quietly and moved her hands upwards so she could wrap them around his neck. He pulled her up, forcing the human on her toes as his hands wrapped around her waist and secured her in this position, against his frame. She kept staring at him, her fingers mind-absently stroking the back of his neck and his shoulder, causing goosebumps to cover his skin. Pride shivered and pulled her closer to his frame, pressing her supple flesh against his toned one.

« I am. » Asma whispered, not really willing to interrupt such an intimate moment when there was nothing between them to interrupt. « You seem relaxed?» She suggested, semi-asking a question to make sure he wouldn't throw a fit or anything would come up and ruin the short time they had together. He pondered her words, knowing full well there was no rest for a sin and he couldn't possibly tell her the dangers he was trying to protect her from or the fact he nearly died a couple of times due to rebellious siblings.

« Things seem to work in my favor today, so yes I am. » He said as he stroked her soft cheek with the back of his hand. Asma shivered and looked down at the floor for a minute. He was larger than life and in a moment like this one, when she was close enough to look at him straight in his eyes, Asma realized that she really was a small thing compared to him. She was mortal, weak and filled with emotions she couldn't always understand or control. Her eyes shifted from left to right, her lips trembled and she finally felt his fingers push her face up so she could look at him again.

He didn't want to see her worry about his business in the Underworld, or fill her pretty head with ideas of her potential death like at the beginning of their 'relationship'. She wasn't questioning him like she used to and didn't look like she was afraid anymore and an Asma who wasn't afraid was actually an Asma whose company he enjoyed a lot. The golden highlights of her eyes seemed to glow a little more and she gave him a sheepish smile. His gaze was intense as he studied her face for a second and wondered why on Earth he grew this attached to this mortal. He couldn't say. Of course, it was easier for him to pretend he wasn't attached to her and it only was because Elpis inhabited her but he couldn't help but think that it had everything to do with her, being herself. He cupped her cheek with his large hand and leaned a little bit forward, so his face would only be inches from hers. Her heart started to beat fast and she put her hand over his. Pride felt how anxious she suddenly got and furrowed his brows.

« What's wrong? »

« Nothing. It's just. » She bit her bottom lip and shook her head. « I'm intimidated all of a sudden. » She admitted to him, as her fingers gently stroked the skin of the back of his hand. 

« Why is that? Are you afraid of me? » He wondered, his brows furrowed as he didn't know what she meant. She shook her head.

« No. » He cupped her other cheek, his azure gaze never leaving her face. Asma shrugged and kept rubbing the back of his hands. She looked so tiny compared to him and filled with doubt. Asma bit at her bottom lip, unable to get the words out of her chest. Pride noticed she was hiding something and curious about what she didn't tell him, Pride insisted a little bit. She always needed a little push. « Maybe. When you're angry I am afraid of you. But I am not, not now... I am not afraid of you. » She said as she finally looked into his eyes. She let a sigh escape from her lips and held onto his hands. « It's just... sometimes I don't know how to express myself...I don't know if you understand just how much I am in love with you Pride. It beats me, it really does. I don't understand how it is possible and yet it is... and yet I am in love with you... and yet I want you. Now, tomorrow, yesterday. » She bit her bottom lip harder, stress building up inside of her to the point of having trouble breathing. She loved him but she knew her words meant nothing and it hurt, so she bit her lip until it bled so she wouldn't cry in front of him. Pride watched her, his intense dark blue eyes were staring at the blood trickling down her chin and he set her left cheek free so he could clean it up.

«You're right about something, I don't understand why you feel that way for me. You don't know what I am. You don't know what I can do. You don't seem to understand that I am not human Asma. I would never be. »

« I don't want you to be. I don't need you to be Pride. » She said, releasing her wounded lip from her teeth. He cleaned it up with a touch and straightened on the stool.

« What do you possibly want then? » People always gave to receive something in return. Asma didn't seem to want anything specific. She never asked for him to say the words, to return her affection for her and yet never failed to whisper to him « I love you » here and then whenever they became intimate or whenever they could sleep next to one another. She always claimed her love and he could tell by the way she painted him that she thought the world of him. It could have been devotion and in a way, she was devoted to him, genuinely so. Pride was curious because while she didn't voice her demands, he did catch the frustration in her face, the anxiety, and the sadness. He knew she did want something, dreamed about it but until she expressed it openly to him, the Sin couldn't tell what it was, he couldn't really guess. Or maybe he could but didn't want to guess. It would force him to question himself about his own feelings.

« Kiss me, please. » She managed to say while her hazel eyes stared at him. « I just want... I just want to feel you.. touch you, hug you.. kiss you. I just want to feel. I just want to feel that. I just want to feel... I think. I think. » She felt her eyes fill themselves with unshed tears. She didn't know how to convey her emotions or let him know that what she felt for him was so strong she couldn't contain it. She wanted him to feel things the way she did, to realize just how much she was willing to give him, but what if he already knew but didn't want any of it? She tried her best not to cry, thinking that it was giving away too much of her heart and she might have been vulnerable to him but Pride, somehow, knew she needed just a little nudge to feel reassured so he would give it to her.

« Asma. Asma, it's alright. Just breathe it in. Come on, breathe. » He said as he patted her cheek and pushed himself off of the stool so he could stand up and she could put her feet flat on the ground. She did as he said but couldn't prevent herself from crying a couple of tears.

« It's not alright.... I long for you to tell me I matter to you. I long for you to tell me that when you kiss me, it's not Elpis you kiss but me. I am full of desire for you and it's burning me from inside and there is nothing I can do for that. I love you Pride. I do.. and it's hurting me you know. »

« I know. » He said, his throat tightening while he still cupped her cheeks. « I also do know that you are not disposable. You're not just Elpis vessel. I know that. » He didn't know what she was, not yet, it was too soon. He already had to process that Elpis existed and he had been robbed of millennia with her and now that he had found her, he grew attached to her vessel. To which extent he couldn't say. But he knew that he wanted her alive and he wanted her well. He loved when she was happy, was able to right all the wrongs were done to her and enjoyed her presence. He might have been falling in love with her instead of the goddess or all of that was just a huge misunderstanding and confusion because she looked exactly like his goddess, save a lot less godly like Elpis was. Asma shut her eyes tight, so she wouldn't look into his and stiffened at the sensation of his digits sinking into the skin of her face to hold her tighter. It made her shut her eyes tighter as she refused to open them to look at him.

« What am I to you Pride? What am I if not just her vessel? Am I your pet ? » he scoffed and shook his head.

« No. Of course not! You're not my pet. »

« Then... what am I? » She asked, opening her eyes to stare at him again, her voice strangled with a sob that refused to escape from her throat.

« I don't know.... yet. » He decided to admit. It wasn't much but it was enough for the pink haired artist to realize that maybe, there was a tiny chance for her to become something more than just his devotee. He groaned, annoyed at feeling uncomfortable in front of her. The sin told her the truth. He didn't know what she was to him or what he felt for her. All he knew was that at this moment, he didn't want her to be worried or sad. He didn't want them to part with her thinking even less of herself than she did at this moment. She made her demands clear, she wanted to be kissed so he would kiss her.

« I see... I understand. » She said, opening her eyes again while fresh tears kept on rolling onto her cheeks. He wiped them out with the back of his hands and planted a kiss on each of her eyes. « I understand really, you can.. you can let me go. I'll be in my room. » she felt like he would deny her a kiss and was mentally preparing herself to go back to her room so she pushed herself away from him and tried to leave but he grabbed her hands and held them tightly. Asma looked up at him again, confused as to why he was acting this gently towards her but he gave her a smile.

« You wouldn't leave without your kiss now, would you? »

« Are you ?... » She didn't finish her sentence as he bent forward and pressed his lips against hers. It was a soft kiss, almost just a peck as he pulled away from her, only a few inches so she could look at him again. It sent a shiver down her spine and she cupped both of his cheeks for a second one. She pressed her lips against his for a harder kiss and then pulled away. She was panting, eyes almost glowing as she didn't quite know what to make of this.

Everytime Pride kissed Asma, it sent shivers down her spine. For a minute she forgot everything that made her sad or worried. She forgot everything that made her wonder and unsafe. She forgot how dangerous her life became.. how empty without her dog Rosie it was when Pride left their home. She forgot that she was a vessel and a living breathing goddess was trapped within her. She forgot that by the end of her journey, Pride might leave never to return. She only focused on how he made her feel. She focused on him, on how good he felt against her, on his taste in her mouth and his warmth. She focused on how much she didn't want to spend another day without him. Her heart raced inside of her ribcage, her stomach felt like a billion butterflies tried to escape from it. She couldn't stand so he held her tightly. He smiled at her and pressed his lips to hers once again, this time allowing his tongue to lick against her entrance so they could deepen the kiss for a proper make-out session. She allowed it, closing her eyes to relish in the moment while he lifted her above the floor and slowly walked towards the table he laid her on. She moaned in between their kiss and when he broke it, she smiled at him, coyly so.

« Kiss me again...and again.. and again. » She whispered as he wiped her tears off of her face.

« You don't need to ask for a kiss Asma. » He said with a chuckle, nuzzling her neck while she let her fingers slid into his thick luscious hair. He rested his forehead against her shoulder, sniffing her delicious soft smell -Fresh grass and wet ground like Elpis- and kissed the sensitive skin there. « I do want to kiss you most of the time. »

« I felt the need to. It's the only moment I get to feel like I matter. When you kiss me like there is no tomorrow. » She admitted, stroking his shoulders and planting a couple of kisses on his neck.

« You matter to me. Despite what you might think. You do matter to me as yourself, not as a vessel. » He pointed out, which made her heart stop and her lips tremble. « Why do you look so sad now Asma? Are my kisses that bad? » He teased her, knowing full well his kisses were perfect. She shook her head and chuckled softly. « Then what is it? »

« I matter to you...I never thought I did.... but I do. » She said pressing her lips against his before she leaned her forehead against his chest.

« Yes, you do. » He said, petting her hair before he wrapped his arms around her chest to embrace her completely.

« I don't think you understand Pride. It's you.. every time I have to think about my life and what I'd choose to be happy, it's you I choose. It's always been you. It will always be you. I want you. I love you. I choose you. » She said before she hugged him again. « Obviously you don't. I get it...you will never.. but.. when we kiss, I get to pretend you choose me and if that's all I can get from you then so be it. You make me feel alive, you make me feel..so much. So, to know that I matter to you as well. My heart is happy.. and scared but mostly happy, so... so yes I matter. »

« You very much do. » He said in a chuckle before he leaned his chin on top of her head and kept the embrace for a while.

(TBC)