Soa: was she petty?

(SoA)

Was she petty? Asma had no idea about whether or not asking about Jessica's whereabouts were a good or a bad thing. She tried it for weeks but it was in vain because the club and Tig refused to let her in. Tig made it clear he wanted to protect her from the life he was leading and because he didn't want her to be in danger, his brother said kept their mouths shut. Jessica told her about her past, some of it, what Shen could actually confess without talking about the present. As far as Asma knew, her new life at charming was a honest one. So She said. So Asma chose to believe until the collection of scars and broken ribs forced her to face reality. Tig acted with love, he wanted to protect the joy of his life so of course, he'd keep her as far away from it as he could.

Was she petty? Was it too much to ask to know the truth? She always heard the crow eaters and samcro boys talk about their old ladies and how much they meant to their hubbies. An old lady was a ride or die wife. She knew what was up, she wasn't to be fucked with. She sacrificed a lot to protect her own but she was part of the family. Gemma was the typical old lady, although batshit crazy and toxic. Jessica was an old lady. The real deal as they said, the prima Donna. The fucking queen. She was everything Asma wasn't and maybe in there lied the difference. It was frustrating to some degree because that meant she might never be an old lady. When all was said and done, Asma was not an action lady. She wasn't meant to run deadly errands. She wasnt meant to take lives with her gun. Could that mean she could not  build a life with Alex? Could that mean she wasn't family to Jessica and Jax? It didnt make sense. Alex wouldn't have inked her name on his ribs if she wasn't. So what was the panic about?

Jessica. It was about her. Not being able to know where she was drove the woman crazy with fear. It was a gut feeling that told her Jessica was not alright. She had no idea of where the chocolate haired woman was or why it was taking so long but She knew something was up. Jessica was the reason Asma did not leave Charming a couple years ago. She was the reason Asma was done drinking and stayed sober for two years and and 11 months. She was the reason Asma accepted Tig in her life. She was the reason of her laughters, her tears, her dreams and transformation. Jessica was her family, the chosen one,  now that her blood family was gone. Losing her was too much to bear, the thought alone gave her nightmares. So was she petty when she asked?

No, of course not. She wasn't but she promised Tig not to ask anymore and while he pretended he didn't see water in her eyes and worries on her face, he knew damn well she was eating herself up with the lack of answers. All she had was prayers, so Shen prayed for he returned sister's safe return. She prayed.